Dancing insecurities?

[Lory]

We all have certain insecurities and things that go through our head if someone turns us down or we don't get asked for a dance, so which of these can sometimes hit the nerve :confused:

It's anonymous and you can tick more than one......

[under par]

We all have certain insecurities and things that go through our head if someone turns us down or we don't get asked for a dance, so which of these can sometimes hit the nerve :confused:

It's anonymous and you can tick more than one......


Where you thinking of me with "too TALL"? :whistle:

I'm feeling paranoid now :eek: :eek:

[Lounge Lizard]

Where you thinking of me with "too TALL"? :whistle:

I'm feeling paranoid now :eek: :eek:
Imagine how i feel "TOO SHORT" & "BALD", plus (I am not sure how she knew it) but she even included "got "horrible Legs" :tears: :sad: :whistle: :grin:

[under par]

Imagine how i feel "TOO SHORT" & "BALD", plus (I am not sure how she knew it) but she even included "got "horrible Legs" :tears: :sad: :tears: :sad:


Ahhh!!!!!!1 I get the hat , the stilts and the long trousers now. :whistle: :blush:

[Andy McGregor]

Of the 11 people who've voted so far I'm the only one that's "too short" :tears:

[Purple Sparkler]

I've gone through quite a sea change in the past few months. Previously, if I asked someone and they turned me down I'd think it was because I wasn't good enough.

Now when someone turns me down I think that it's THEIR problem, not mine. And I simply think 'Fine, sod you then, I won't be asking YOU again.' And I don't.

I even behave myself when guys who used to ignore me ask me. Worst rejection ever came from one of the old chaps at Ashtons- who I asked to dance and he simply shook his head in a manner that said 'of course not, you stupid girl'- he now asks me quite a lot. And I always say yes. Because I'm classier than that, if you see what I mean.

I think it's fairly safe to say that dancing has done wonders for my confidence.

[Damien]

Reading various threads on the forum it never ceases to amaze me that any guy would turn down a lady asking for a dance. I never have and never will.

To be honest I think it is so fantastic when I'm asked! My insecurites are mainly that I'm just not good enough or don't look good enough. Maybe that is why it is such an amazing confidence boost when I'm asked to dance. :) :clap:

[Jazz_Shoes (Ash)]

I don't remember being turned down before, maybe I have been but forgotten :what: But if I ever do then it is their loss :mad: ...i'd imagine that the age thing might come into it...but luckily if I ever do ask anyone to dance they usually say yes :nice: (touch wood) I can't believe that guys actually turn down ladies when the ask to dance, that is shocking and very rude! :angry: They should be ashamed of themselves, girls if you ever do get turned down it is the guys loss for missing out on a great dance with you.

Ashx

[Andy McGregor]

Reading various threads on the forum it never ceases to amaze me that any guy would turn down a lady asking for a dance. I never have and never will.

To be honest I think it is so fantastic when I'm asked! My insecurites are mainly that I'm just not good enough or don't look good enough. Maybe that is why it is such an amazing confidence boost when I'm asked to dance. :) :clap: :yeah:

After many years of dancing I still get a thrill when a woman asks me to dance. Why would I ever say 'no'? :confused:

[Graham W]

..not in the clique is a good one cos it's a chance to break it, by dancing..

good poll, Lory..

G :-)

[Purple Sparkler]

it never ceases to amaze me that any guy would turn down a lady asking for a dance. I never have and never will.


I can't believe that guys actually turn down ladies when the ask to dance, that is shocking and very rude!


After many years of dancing I still get a thrill when a woman asks me to dance. Why would I ever say 'no'?

I must say it's nice to know there are chaps like you around. Makes me hopeful for the rest of humanity. Have some rep.

[Chicklet]

I have read all the threads on this and related subjects with interest and more than a little dismay.

I'm never going to be a brilliant dancer, I can't spin, I'm pudgy and I'm a tictac justincase breath fanatic but I HONESTLY DON'T CARE!!!!

If someone doesn't want to dance with me, I don't care why and neither need nor want to know, it just does not bother me, I will NEVER worry about it, there are plenty of people who will dance with me.

I don't feel I'm particularly big headed, I know I have "faults" but that's life.

SURELY I'm not alone here??Speak up the "comfortables" of the forum!!!! :grin:

[Lory]

Don't get me wrong Chicklet, I never let it ruin my night but I have to admit, I'm taking great solace in the fact so many other share my little insecurities too! ;)

It's not only meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :clap: :cheers: :clap: :cheers: :hug:

[Rebecca]

I tend to find that one of the only places I feel truly comfortable is whilst dancing.

I always get nervous when entering a new venue, and for the first few tracks (normally along the lines of 'am I good enough??'), but I've learned to re-frame the nerves as excitement.

There will always be guys who love to dance with me :clap: and guys who hate to dance with me :tears: , with most somewhere in the middle, and that's ok as far as I'm concerned (well rehearsed calming self talk)

In terms of physical attributes I don't think this really applies when dancing. There are guys who ordinarily I wouldn't find physically attractive, but who move like dance-gods!! I wouldn't think to consider a person's height, weight, legs etc if I'm watching them dance, it's all about line, posture (and some evidence that they are enjoying themselves). I tend to ask guys to dance if they are a) smiling b) nearby and c) looking like they want to dance - simple as. . .

[bigdjiver]

Is there a prize for most ticks?

[Damien]

Just a small point but for me the problem around insecurities have not been being turned down for a dance. However, after dancing for almost a year I still find it incredibly difficult to even ask for a dance. I'm OK with the regulars who I sit near or who have asked me in the past but just asking a face in the room who I don't know and all sorts of doubts creep in and my legs turn to jelly. :sick:

Not all of us guys are brimming with confidence so its a welcome relief when someone asks me to dance. :) So to all the ladies please ask more often and if anyone says no the problem is with them not you.

[John S]

I can vividly remember being "turned down" twice, and both times it was by "ladies" from Glasgow! Despite being born and brought up in No Mean City, it's more than 30 years since I lived there, so maybe my Parliamo Glasgow chat-up lines are a tad out of date, although what I said seemed ok at the time:

"Howsitgaun, doll? Maist ora music's mingin but yonsa stoater oa sang - gonnae git affyer bahookie an giesa jig aforera flair's fu o awra hotshots an wee herries?"

So I guess I'll just have to live with my insecurities. :tears:

[Petal]

I've gone through quite a sea change in the past few months. Previously, if I asked someone and they turned me down I'd think it was because I wasn't good enough.

:yeah:


Now when someone turns me down I think that it's THEIR problem, not mine. And I simply think 'Fine, sod you then, I won't be asking YOU again.' And I don't.

:clap: That's what i need to do.


I even behave myself when guys who used to ignore me ask me. Worst rejection ever came from one of the old chaps at Ashtons- who I asked to dance and he simply shook his head in a manner that said 'of course not, you stupid girl'- he now asks me quite a lot. And I always say yes. Because I'm classier than that, if you see what I mean.
And this is what i will aim for. :flower:


I think it's fairly safe to say that dancing has done wonders for my confidence.

Hopefully it will do the same for me. :hug:

[Petal]

Reading various threads on the forum it never ceases to amaze me that any guy would turn down a lady asking for a dance. I never have and never will.



Hope you'll visit scotland sometime soon. :clap:

[Purple Sparkler]

:yeah:
:clap: That's what i need to do.
And this is what i will aim for. :flower:
Hopefully it will do the same for me. :hug:

*flattered* And this from a Taxi Dancer! (Must remember to send off the form...)

[Dreadful Scathe]

"Howsitgaun, doll? Maist ora music's mingin but yonsa stoater oa sang - gonnae git affyer bahookie an giesa jig aforera flair's fu o awra hotshots an wee herries?"

:D Was the DJ CJ ? :)

i'm wondering if any of the Southerners understood this :)

[Purple Sparkler]

"Howsitgaun, doll? Maist ora music's mingin but yonsa stoater oa sang - gonnae git affyer bahookie an giesa jig aforera flair's fu o awra hotshots an wee herries?"



i'm wondering if any of the Southerners understood this

Let me see if I can translate without any help, being a Southern Nancy. Well, a Southern Ellen, anyway:

"How are you, my dear? I will admit that the bally old music's rotten, what, but this particular number is a jolly old corker- would you care to relieve your posterior from its sitting position and cut a rug with me before the floor's too full of hotshots and Hooray Henries?"

[Petal]

*flattered* And this from a Taxi Dancer! (Must remember to send off the form...)

You deserve some rep, and i will give you some as soon as i find out how to. :cheers:

[Sparkles]

:sad: out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands' :sad: :tears: :tears:

[Purple Sparkler]

:sad: out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands' :sad: :tears: :tears:

But you have lovely hands! :flower:

[Sparkles]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

[Gojive]

Let me see if I can translate without any help, being a Southern Nancy. Well, a Southern Ellen, anyway:

"How are you, my dear? I will admit that the bally old music's rotten, what, but this particular number is a jolly old corker- would you care to relieve your posterior from its sitting position and cut a rug with me before the floor's too full of hotshots and Hooray Henries?"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I tried to rep you Ellen, but have to spread it again first :tears:

[KatieR]

:sad: out of 37 people I'm the only one with 'horrible hands' :sad: :tears: :tears:


I dont believe that for a second Miss Sparkles! You have lovely hands! And dont you believe it either!

[Zebra Woman]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.

I have never noticed that, I'm always looking at your smiling face and your shiny hair... :D :hug:

IMO Distraction is the best ploy.

I had a massive hole in the top of my tights once at the back. I think I'd pulled them up in a hurry after hearing my favourite song from inside the 'Ladies'. It was winter and I had pasty legs so I decided to smile and keep moving rather than take them off. I did proudly show it to a few close female friends too :devil: .

It's nice to see we're not alone but I think actually naming your insecurity on this thread is a bit like showing everyone the hole in your tights. :eek: :rofl:

Another one....

Not sure if this is a 'Dancing Insecurty' or just a niggle ;) :

I have several friends (female) who feel insecure about the fact that they are 'single'.

They don't want their exhuberant and enthusiastic enjoyment of dancing to be mis-interpreted (but sometimes they do ! :confused: ). The result is they feel that they have to be very calculated in the signals that they give off while dancing and how they appear to others.

If a guy is keen to buy them a drink have a chat wants their phone number etc. they haven't got a 'married' card that they can play to get out of it. :what:

[El Salsero Gringo]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.So who's bothered about *looking*?

[JoC]

Petal, I can't believe what i'm reading these last couple of days!!!???!!!! :really:

:hug:

[Cruella]

I
Not sure if this is a 'Dancing Insecurty' or just a niggle ;) :

I have several friends (female) who feel insecure about the fact that they are 'single'.

They don't want their exhuberant and enthusiastic enjoyment of dancing to be mis-interpreted (but sometimes they do ! :confused: ). The result is they feel that they have to be very calculated in the signals that they give off while dancing and how they appear to others.

If a guy is keen to buy them a drink have a chat wants their phone number etc. they haven't got a 'married' card that they can play to get out of it. :what:
This is the same for a married woman too. I personally don't feel i can let myself go fully on the dancefloor. As a happily married lady of 20 years, i don't want any man to feel i am giving them the 'come on' therefore i am not as 'flirtacious' (sp?) as i'd like to be. It obviously works as i've never had any man want to chat and buy me a drink at a dance venue :tears:

[ChrisA]

Not if you actually look at them *sigh*, but thanks.
Right, young lady, that's enough of that :mad:

As one who holds them frequently I feel qualified to offer an opinion here, and they are most definitely not horrible, neither to look at, or to touch. They do the job beautifully.

And IIRC from Ashtons some months back, they did another job beautifully, too, rendering me virtually comatose :whistle: :devil: :innocent:

So no more of this nonsense, please. :hug:

[John S]

From the poll results, the Forum seems to have a lot of people who consider themselves to be old, fat, married and not good enough dancers to be in the clique! :eek:

(I know I'm abusing the statistics, before anyone says so!)

[Lory]

From the poll results, the Forum seems to have a lot of people who consider themselves to be old, fat,
I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women! :clap:

[Gadget]

We all have certain insecurities and things that go through our head if someone turns us down or we don't get asked for a dance, so which of these can sometimes hit the nerve :confused:
:confused: erm... nothing goes through my mind except OK, who's next.
I know who I am. I know what I look like. I know that there are only two sorts of insecurities: those you can fix and those you can't. If you can fix them, they are no longer insecurities. If you can't, then why be insecure about them?

I really don't get this dwelling on the 0.00001% of times you may be turned down: Why not be assured that the 99.999999% of times people actually are pleased to be asked, happy to dance, were all yours for 3 mins, and enjoyed themselves in your company.
I am more worried/concerned/"insecure" about dances I have where my partner does not enjoy themselves than never getting to the dance floor in the first place. :( {Normally because of my clumseyness :tears:}

[Lynn]

Whatever your insecurities - don't mention them, draw attention to them, or even think about them when dancing/asking for a dance/accepting a dance. I suppose most people don't anyway, but there might be one or two others like me....

From personal experience...

Dancing with someone at Southport, having a nice dance, I casually mentioned that I have technically (aside from weekenders) had only about 3 intermediate classes. His style of dancing with me immediately changed. Of course I didn't have the time to explain this was because I had no regular classes in the country where I live, and that I had done 3 weekenders and a dance holiday... he probably just thought I hadn't been dancing very long and wasn't very confident. :tears:

I had a bad habit of saying 'I'm not very good' when someone asked me to dance. I felt so much less experienced than anyone around me and was almost making my excuses for poor dancing in advance! :tears: OK, there are much better dancers all around, but its not like I'm appalling awful, and anyway the guy can decide for himself whether he enjoys the dance or not, I don't need to tell him in advance that he won't! :rofl: Also it would have the effect of perhaps indicating that I only want the guy to lead simple moves, wheras I love following moves I have never been taught, it brings a smile of genuine surprise and pleasure to my face when there is a new move, led well, and I'm sure its nice for the lead to get that reaction. (And if I get it wrong then the lead learns something about how he has led it, usually we laugh and try it again.) So I have stopped saying that (mostly).

So now I don't say anything about being 'not good enough' even if I feel it, and I just enjoy the dance!

[John S]

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women! :clap:
:yeah:

I suspect it may be an even higher figure, if everyone were honest - men may think a girl with a supermodel figure looks better (partly because we're conditioned by what the advertising industry decrees) but if the lights are out and one has to go by touch and feel alone, well- no contest!!!

But, whatever anyone's shape, height, age or looks, act with pride and confidence in who you are and you'll never be short of a dance partner!

[robd]

I had a bad habit of saying 'I'm not very good' when someone asked me to dance.

I used to be like that too and would preface every dance with "I don't know many moves yet" or similar. Feel past that now but have a similar problem in that I make lots of mistakes (or moves turn out not quite how I intended them) and I automatically apologise and I think this can get on some partner's nerves. As one lady said to me "There are no mistakes in freestyle".

Robert

[Sheepman]

Right, young lady, that's enough of that :mad:

As one who holds them frequently I feel qualified to offer an opinion here, and they are most definitely not horrible, neither to look at, or to touch. They do the job beautifully. :yeah: I couldn't have said it better myself!

But of course if we are talking about our insecurities here, we're not necessarily being rational, so the fact that there is something we don't like about ourselves doesn't mean to say that anyone else would even have noticed. Sparkles, do you honestly imagine that you have ever been turned down for a dance because of your hands? (Actually, have you ever been turned down for a dance? :really: )

I ticked the following:-
Not trendy enough
Intimidating :what:
because I know I have been turned down for dances for those reasons. I also ticked
Not Good Enough
because I imagine that is the main reason I get turned down for dances, but it's not a reason many people are likely to admit to!

Greg

[senorita]

We all have certain insecurities and things that go through our head if someone turns us down or we don't get asked for a dance, so which of these can sometimes hit the nerve :confused:

It's anonymous and you can tick more than one......

Hello there ;=))

I think everybody, no matter the ethnic background, size, colour or shape has their own insecurities, weather its on or off the dance floor.

I feel everybody on this Forum has their own good qualities,.. & as for all you lovely people that posted on this thread.. BEHAVE YOURSELF!..your ALL great & beautiful people inside and out!

As for my insecurities......well..(sigh) the list is about 1000 miles long and I wouldnt want to put you guys to sleep! ;=)

Sx

[LMC]

:rofl: :clap:

Have some rep senorita :) - and see new thread :D

[bigdjiver]

...I had a bad habit of saying 'I'm not very good' when someone asked me to dance... :devil: "That's alright, I like bad girls." :devil:
This either breaks the ice, or ...

:eek: You thought you were insecure before? :eek:

[Lynn]

:devil: "That's alright, I like bad girls." :devil:
This either breaks the ice, or ... :rofl:

[Jazz_Shoes (Ash)]

I wondered if any of you guys would ever turn any lady down because she was younger...say 18 (yes 18, only 24 days) i've not been turned down for a dance yet, but wondered if anyone would because of my age. And what would you say if it was a blues number?

[Zebra Woman]

:devil: "That's alright, I like bad girls." :devil:
This either breaks the ice, or ...

:eek: You thought you were insecure before? :eek:

Like it Bigd :rofl:

I do a similar thing. If a man ever tells me he's not very good I usually smile, look deeply into his eyes and whisper -

'Bad is Good .....' :what:

:devil:

[Petal]

Petal, I can't believe what i'm reading these last couple of days!!!???!!!! :really:

:hug:

Neither can some others, but i'm a good actress you see, very controlled and confident on the surface but underneath i'm a nervous wreck lacking in confidence. :confused:

[Petal]

Petal, I can't believe what i'm reading these last couple of days!!!???!!!! :really:

:hug:

and, after some constructive positive advice from Purple
Sparkler :worthy: i aim to change, it may take a while, but i'm sure gonna try.

[Peaches]

and, after some constructive positive advice from Purple
Sparkler :worthy: i aim to change, it may take a while, but i'm sure gonna try.
Petal you need to get off your bike and eat some chocolate :rofl: :hug: :hug:

[Daisy Chain]

Well obviously, it's because I'm too good. :innocent:


Daisy

(A Short, Skinny, Unavailable, Toothy, Intimidating, Shy, Miserable-Faced, Unlikeable Little Flower)

[jockey]

Of the 11 people who've voted so far I'm the only one that's "too short" :tears:
AT LEAST YOU WONT BE "GOALIE". :rofl:

[jockey]

What makes a lead "intimidating", Lory (or anyone who happens to be in..)?

[jockey]

I wondered if any of you guys would ever turn any lady down because she was younger...say 18 (yes 18, only 24 days) i've not been turned down for a dance yet, but wondered if anyone would because of my age. And what would you say if it was a blues number?
I would never turn a younger woman down on grounds of age. I only turn girls down who are dangerous (are you "dangerous" Ash?). (I had difficulty with that line because the only dancer I know called Ash is male).
I make a point of dancing with "Youf" because of their vitality and enthusiasm; such things go a long long way. Please remember the most memorable dances are usually based on connection not on purely technical ability; most men will dance more confidently with a girl who doesnt outmatch them. I have danced with 24 separate open champions (one male, Viktor, though he has chosen to erase that from his memory banks) on many occasions and you cant really go for it sometimes because you dont want to be the one that drops them and puts them out of comps for 2006! Nothing beats dancing with your lover, though. With others the sexy stuff is mock and "just kidding" (occasionally "if only") but with your partner when you pull something special off the smile is allknowing and all embracing. I recommend it. If you are seeing someone who is a nondancer dont bring them - he will never ubderstand that what we do is harmless (mostly..)
Oh, and never apologise for anything. Gottit?

[JoC]

What makes a lead "intimidating", Lory (or anyone who happens to be in..)?
Too good!!! Or perhaps good and not giving off the 'approachable' vibe? That could apply to leads and follows.

[frodo]

I wondered if any of you guys would ever turn any lady down because she was younger...say 18 (yes 18, only 24 days) i've not been turned down for a dance yet, but wondered if anyone would because of my age. And what would you say if it was a blues number?

I wouldn't down a lady on the grounds of (young) age, but I might be less likely to ask.

In some circumstances I'd also prioritise taking lots of care and keeping a good distance over a technically good / enjoyable dance.

It follows that it doesn't matter if it is a blues dance. I don't think there is any need to turn anyone down. The leader can pretty much control the dance so it may not be a good dance or a even recognised blues dancing, but it can be a visibly clean dance.

[Lynn]

Oh, and never apologise for anything. Gottit? Good advice. I used to pepper my dances with 'Sorry!' if didn't follow exactly as I should, I usually assumed it was my fault, even if it wasn't. (I don't agree with 'the man is always wrong' spiel.)

I've (mostly) stopped apologising now. :blush:

[Lory]

What makes a lead "intimidating", Lory (or anyone who happens to be in..)?

It doesn't only relate to the lead..

I was upset the first few times I was called intimidating, I took it purely as insult but I asked a friend' answer me honestly, am i? :blush:

They replied YES I think you can be, I asked them to explain exactly what they meant,

Well, the explanation I got, I wouldn't want to argue with...

He said, you come across as someone who will accept 'nothing less' than the best, or at least the best effort that that person can give you. :cool:

Now, I don't see it as a bad thing! :wink:

[Jazz_Shoes (Ash)]

I would never turn a younger woman down on grounds of age. I only turn girls down who are dangerous (are you "dangerous" Ash?). (I had difficulty with that line because the only dancer I know called Ash is male)....

Me? dangerous? I wouldn't say so :innocent: . I don't like the fact that guys have the same name as me-I think it sounds much more feminine :na:


Oh, and never apologise for anything. Gottit?

Ok, I won't apologise...for what? Glad to see you wouldn't turn me down, I was worried that I would be-then I really would have something to be insecure about :sad:


(I don't agree with 'the man is always wrong' spiel.)

I didn't believe that at first either, but now I do :D If a proper lead is not given, then I can't follow :devil: Lynn, it could never be your fault :wink:

[Lynn]

I didn't believe that at first either, but now I do :D If a proper lead is not given, then I can't follow :devil: Lynn, it could never be your fault :wink: You haven't seen me dance! :tears: :rofl:

But I've decided that getting a move wrong is bad enough, apologising afterwards makes it worse. Esp if its because of a poor lead, then I'm drawing attention to the mistake and the guy has to apologise... (even though that's not what I am trying to do). Sometimes getting a move wrong (not intentionally!) can improve a dance. A move goes wrong, we have a smile about it and suddenly I'm much more comfortable as I know I'm dancing with a 'yes I make mistakes sometimes' guy rather than a 'I'm a great dancer, you're lucky to be dancing with me' guy. So I'm more relaxed and therefore dance better.

That's another thing about dancing insecurities - if they make us nervous/anxious they make our dancing worse. I was most nervous at Britroc last year, thinking everyone would be thinking 'what is she doing'! I therefore danced really badly. But my main aim was not to actually fall over - and I achieved that! :clap: And by the end of the day, I was a little bit more confident.

[Little Monkey]

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women! :clap:

There's still hope for me! Woooo-hooooo!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap:

[Jazz_Shoes (Ash)]

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women! :clap:
Well woohoo! There's hope for me yet then, lol. Although, I wouldn't like to be skinny...i'm going for the Marilyn Monroe look...

[Little Monkey]

I think most people consider me to be a very confident and bubbly person. In reality, I can be very shy, and if I'm at a new venue, or at a dance party with loads of people I've never seen before, I find it extremely difficult to find the courage to ask someone for a dance.

I have experienced sitting for an hour without anyone asking me for a dance, after trying to ask people myself, but for various reasons (too crowded, too many females etc) have been unsuccessful, and have given up.

I sometimes think I'm not good enough, I'm not skinny enough, and I'm not pretty enough, and that's why I don't get asked to dance. Possibly a lot of rubbish, but these are my little insecurities anyway. :(

Saying that - I had the biggest ego-booster ever at the last Marco's party in Edinburgh. I have always thought that my legs are too 'cunky', mainly because I used to do a lot of weight lifting, and have very muscly legs... But... I was wearing my twirly, short-ish swing skirt, and fish-net(ish) style tights, and was told by men and women alike that I have "gorgeous legs", "sexy legs" and "dancer's legs"!!! And that I'm a lovely dancer! So thanks to everyone who complimented me - I was happy for days afterward because of those comments!!!! :hug: :flower: :kiss: :cheers: :clap: :D

A compliment can really make someone's day - maybe we should all be better at giving sincere compliments, and then maybe people wouldn't have so many silly little insecurities?? :flower:

Monkey

[Little Monkey]

Well woohoo! There's hope for me yet then, lol. Although, I wouldn't like to be skinny...i'm going for the Marilyn Monroe look...

And as we all know, Marilyn Monroe was a size 14! :clap: :clap: :clap:

[bigdjiver]

I played a bit of a T.D. Jakes tape and heard something like :- You are not different, you are distinctive. It is being distinctive that makes us special. If you were ordinary you would not be valuable. Value yourself because you are distinct.

[Gus]

I was listening to Jamie Theakston on the radio this morning and apparently 55% of men prefer curvy women! :clap:I would sya thats probably an understatement. Mind you, the one thing worse than a skinny girls is somenoe carrying a few excess pounds whinning on about how she needs to loose weight! :mad:

[Lucy Locket]

I was turned down twice last night, but the first guy did say he'd ask me to dance later & he did & i enjoyed both dances. The second guy didn't he said he needed his towel & i was tempted to try the i'll wait with you tactic, but the manner in which it was said told all, a sorry would have helped (maybe not).

Needless to say if i'm turned down i never ask them to dance.

I just think it's sad that they do it. If it's a genuine reason, need to change my t-shirt etc will come & find you later or i need to sit this one out how about the next one, i'm ok with that but to turn down someone is not nice.

Another guy, last night, said i don't like this track let's see what the next one's like & we chatted & indeed did dance the next one.

And I also think anyone on the forum who does it is even worse coz there have been threads about this so they of all people should know better.If you remember who you are I was warned & am not amused :angry:

[ducasi]

... Mind you, the one thing worse than a skinny girls is somenoe carrying a few excess pounds whinning on about how she needs to loose weight! :mad: I don't think there's anything bad about a "skinny" girl.

We're all made up differently. Some people naturally carry more fat, others less. I'm all for people conforming to their nature.

I disagree with people who go against nature, trying to lose weight unnecessarily, or who allow themselves to carry more weight than is healthy for their bodies.

I prefer natural over unnatural.

[Gus]

I don't think there's anything bad about a "skinny" girl.
Sorry :blush: DIDN'T mean to say that .. .came out wrong. Coming from a naturally 'skinny' family, I know from experience that it can be more difficult to put weight on than loose it (at least till I hit 40 :( ).

As you say, the key thing is being comfortable about your own weight, proportions, build. These things shouldn't enter into the equation to an large degree when dancing with someone, and should defintely not be the grounds for refusing a dance.

[Lucy Locket]

These things shouldn't enter into the equation to an large degree when dancing with someone, and should defintely not be the grounds for refusing a dance.


Sad to say it happens. Ladies will tell each other 'he only dances with skinny, pretty or young ladies'. sorry but it happens. I've sat & watched & some men will be that choosy. I even know some & have pointed it out to them not that it's made any difference.

No, it shouldn't happen but it does. :tears:

[Cruella]

Sad to say it happens. Ladies will tell each other 'he only dances with skinny, pretty or young ladies'. sorry but it happens. I've sat & watched & some men will be that choosy. I even know some & have pointed it out to them not that it's made any difference.

No, it shouldn't happen but it does. :tears:
:yeah: These men tend to be there on the pull rather than for the love of dancing. So personally i'd rather not be dancing with them anyway.
It's nice to hear that some men appreciate us more curvy ladies. :hug:

[Petal]

Petal you need to get off your bike and eat some chocolate :rofl: :hug: :hug:

Peaches don't be cruel, you know i'm trying to be good, for a little while anyway. :wink:

[Donna]

I can't believe that guys actually turn down ladies when the ask to dance, that is shocking and very rude!

Dunno...could be a number of reasons...like feeling too tired for e.g. I feel sorry for really top male dancers sometimes cuz they can never get a break from the dancefloor....especially Dazzle... innit Dazzle??? :wink: Poor guy never gets a break....dunno where he gets all the energy from.

Then again....as discussed in a recent thread, it could well be that they have saved a dance for their partner so if some ladies get turned down for that reason and want to sulk over it, then that's their problem. Some people take it too personally and they start getting paranoid then. 'Oh what's wrong with me, do I smell or something? etc etc etc.

[Donna]

:yeah: These men tend to be there on the pull rather than for the love of dancing. So personally i'd rather not be dancing with them anyway.

That's just sooo true. I think that is the only time I feel insecure is when you can sense the guy you're dancing with is just after you for one thing... not for the dancing. I remember dancing with this one guy once who was the biggest slimeball I have ever come face to face with. I could feel him undressing me with his eyes and I'm sure a lot of women have experienced these sort of pervs. It's the way they touch you when they're dancing also and .....yuuukkkk!!! shiver shiver... :sick: That's the most insecure I ever felt before.

[Dazzle]

Dunno...could be a number of reasons...like feeling too tired for e.g. I feel sorry for really top male dancers sometimes cuz they can never get a break from the dancefloor....especially Dazzle... innit Dazzle??? :wink: Poor guy never gets a break....dunno where he gets all the energy from.

That's what they invented Red Bull for! Speaking of which ................ :cheers:

[Dazzle]

I was upset the first few times I was called intimidating, I took it purely as insult but I asked a friend' answer me honestly, am i? :blush:

They replied YES I think you can be, I asked them to explain exactly what they meant,

Well, the explanation I got, I wouldn't want to argue with...

He said, you come across as someone who will accept 'nothing less' than the best, or at least the best effort that that person can give you. :cool:

Now, I don't see it as a bad thing! :wink:

Lory I was only intimidated by your reputation when we danced at Southport :worthy: . It was nice to see though, that you are also a VERY, VERY nice person! Looking forward to being intimidated again any time, any place any where! :flower:

[Minnie M]

What's happened to delete ????

[Trousers]

Hmmmm Ms Locket and Madam DeVile you guys have worried me now.

I don't ask many women to dance. Thats because I'm there for my fun and if I'm gonna ask a woman for a dance there needs to be a reason for me to do it. It could well be because she's drop dead gorgeous (although I tend to shy away from these as my repertoire, which I will be the first to admit ain't huge in the first place, tends to disappear and I end up First move Wurlitizing for 3 minutes) she could look like a great dancer or could have great style or could have just been abused by some naff dancer and I reckon I could make up for it or the music demands I dance with someone I know can dance with me and give me what I want which is a good dance. (ok punctuation wise that sucks)

But if any woman asks me I'm there.

Is it wrong for me to choose the people I want to dance with as long as I don't turn down those that ask me?

[Piglet]

Is it wrong for me to choose the people I want to dance with as long as I don't turn down those that ask me?
Nope, I don't think so.

I like to choose the guys I dance with too and don't refuse dances except for my "favourite" two who no longer ask me :D

[Cruella]

Hmmmm Ms Locket and Madam DeVile you guys have worried me now.
Oh goody, i like to scare the men. :devil:


Is it wrong for me to choose the people I want to dance with as long as I don't turn down those that ask me?
Not at all, i'll openly admit to dancing with the guys that I want to dance with.
But i don't choose only the guys that i find physically attractive.

[Piglet]

But i don't choose only the guys that i find physically attractive.
Neither do I, but I am a tad fussy :rofl: :rofl:

Gee whizz if that were how it worked - a lot of people probably wouldn't still be coming - me included!

[timbp]

I just looked at this poll, but couldn't tick any of the responses because I've never been turned down in a way that makes me feel it reflects on me (or maybe because my ego's too big).


it never ceases to amaze me that any guy would turn down a lady asking for a dance

I can't believe that guys actually turn down ladies when the ask to dance,
I used to think the same.

Now I do turn down ladies -- but only those I dance with regularly. If someone I don't know asks me, I try to accept; at worst, I postpone for a song or two. If someone I know is a beginner (first few classes) asks me, I always accept.

Although, now I think about it, I have turned down partners I felt I wasn't good enough for when I felt too tired to give a good dance. However, I was in fact starting to change my shoes to leave both times this happened. (But for someone else I might still have said yes.)

[Frankie_4711]

OK, the only option I felt I could choose was 'too good', not because I think I'm that good, but because apart from 'taking a break' or other legitimate/non-personal reasons, the only reason I've been turned down (that I know of!) is by first nighters who don't want to dance because they feel they're not good enough yet (ie that I'm 'too good' - ish!).

[drathzel]

i changed my vote.

I think that i am not seen as a good enough dancer when in the uk so i dont get asked to dance, but in NI i am too intimdating cuz i am the teacher.

You just cant win:tears:

[Jamie]

It's usually cos I'm just too damn sexy. :devil:

I've only been turned down a couple of times, the excuses "I'm too tired" or "my feet hurt" really start to annoy me. Basically, speaking to their friends, they don't want to dance with me because they think I'm "too good".

I always dance with anyone who asks me, be it male, female, black, white, green!! fat, thin, tall, short, beginner, int, advanced, stupidly good.. etc.. I've never turned down anyone for a dance, the only thing I have done is postponed a dance, by asking where they are sitting and saying I shall get them in a few songs time because I need a break. And ALWAYS followed up on it. I don't make promises I can't keep.

I think refusing people dances is just plain rude and there's no need for it. :mad:

[spindr]

I think that i am not seen as a good enough dancer when in the uk so i dont get asked to dance, but in NI i am too intimdating cuz i am the teacher.

You just cant win:tears:
In that case your perfect venue is probably on the Isle Of Man (or maybe Anglesey?).

SpinDr

[NZ Monkey]

Hmmmmm. I can only think of one night when I've turned anyone down just because I was tired and it was all falling apart.

The other times I've done it were for medical reasons (I'd niggled an old knee injury), I was drunk (that only happened the once!), or there were a couple of visiting pro's in the room and I just wanted to watch them for a while.

Edit: I should probably say that I've always explained why I was turning them down and hope they understood....

I *try* to ask someone who tried to ask me but got cut off by somebody else first, but in a busy room it can be hard to find them when they're free.


I think that i am not seen as a good enough dancer when in the uk so i dont get asked to dance, but in NI i am too intimdating cuz i am the teacher.

You just cant winYou're not getting asked in the UK because people think you're a really good dancer and wouldn't want you to be burdened with them. Some of us are shameless enough to ask anyway :flower:

[drathzel]

You're not getting asked in the UK because people think you're a really good dancer and wouldn't want you to be burdened with them. Some of us are shameless enough to ask anyway :flower:

Ha they dont know me very well then, at the minute i am delighted if i stay upright. And if memory serves me right, which it does, i asked you for both our dances, and i enjoyed them lots

[NZ Monkey]

Ha they dont know me very well then, at the minute i am delighted if i stay upright. And if memory serves me right, which it does, i asked you for both our dances, and i enjoyed them lotsYes, well...*ahem*... I refer you to my earlier statement regarding a perception of unnecessary burdening :blush:

But I assure you I'm shameless enough to ask you next time!

and thank you :hug:

[drathzel]

Yes, well...*ahem*... I refer you to my earlier statement regarding a perception of unnecessary burdening :blush:

But I assure you I'm shameless enough to ask you next time!

and thank you :hug:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Shodan]

Yup, its definately because I'm just too damn sexy. :rofl:

[Lee Bartholomew]

THink it is because of my dance shoes. They look gay apparently.

[Jamie]

THink it is because of my dance shoes. They look gay apparently.

I'm yet to see these shoes that make u look gay... Might have to get some myself, make it convincing. :devil:

[Clueless]

The times I have turned down a dance is due to two people approaching me at the same time I am still one Dance in defficite from the beach ball casue I was approached by two people.

I can do a dip and a drop with one dance parner but there is another dance parnter I can't do it with and I feel bad :blush:

Need to get to the Gym IMO! lol

[Lee Bartholomew]

I'm yet to see these shoes that make u look gay... Might have to get some myself, make it convincing. :devil:


This is they. Not very white anymore though

[Jamie]

This is they. Not very white anymore though

Wow! I want some!! :waycool:

[Cruella]

I'm yet to see these shoes that make u look gay... Might have to get some myself, make it convincing. :devil:

You didn't need the shoes to convince me. :rofl:

[Trouble]

Wow! I want some!! :waycool:

with your little legs Jamie ---- you would look like big bird :D :D

[Daydreaming Diva]

asked someone and they turned me down I'd think it was because I wasn't good enough.

Worst rejection ever came from one of the old chaps at Ashtons- who I asked to dance and he simply shook his head in a manner that said 'of course not, you stupid girl'- he now asks me quite a lot. And I always say yes. Because I'm classier than that, if you see what I mean.



I can't wait to read the whole of this thread, but this post reminded me of something that happened to me when I first went to my, now regular, venue.

I asked a particular guy to dance, he was wearing the black and white shoes. and as a newish intermediate MJiver, I felt I might get some needed experience from him, unfortunately I hadn't watched him dance. He gave me a bit of a sneer but did agree to dance with me. I felt uncomfortable during the whole dance as his body language made me feel inadequate, but in reality he a) was a hopeless lead b) couldn't dance in time with no idea of the beat of the music c) rarely looked at me and d) had a very small repertoire of moves which he executed ...... yes he executed!!! :D killing the pleasure of the dance for me :angry:

I didn't ask him again, but some months later, after I had been demonstrating for some while, we were thrown together at some social event after which he started asking me to dance quite often. His dancing hadn't improved at all, but he confessed that he really liked to dance with me now!!!!, but that when we first danced he thought I was horrible and couldn't follow. His attitude towards me had initially really knocked my confidence. I pride myself that I am a very good follow (important to me) and give a guy as good a dance as I am capable of within HIS and my own abilities. It was so obvious that this guy hadn't enjoyed our dance, and blamed it on me. He seemed oblivious, and still is a bit, of his inability to dance in time. :sick: :sick: I have to admit that I find it extremely difficult not to dance in time with the music. But none of this stopped me feeling very insecure of my ability at that time.

[Mezzosoprano]

I'd only been dancing for a few months when I went to venue down south in Scotland..... took me over 2 hours to get up the guts to ask a guy to dance and he said no..... I was gutted especially because I wasn't being asked to dance by anyone either (I'm married and wear my wedding ring so I reckon that had something to do with it!).... it took me another hour to attempt it again and I finally got a dance! Some women are just not used to doing the asking and it takes us ages to get up the bottle... yes, we know Guys - it sometimes takes you ages to get up the bottle - and it's so horrible to have someone say NO! I never say no! I'll dance with anyone, anytime......:grin:

[Minnie M]

when I went to venue down south in Scotland.....
Not a lot of people can say that :wink:


........took me over 2 hours to get up the guts to ask a guy to dance and he said no.....
I am really really surprised, I have never had a problem with asking or getting dances in Scotland - especially when they have not only, never seen me before, but also I am not slim, young or pretty :respect:

How you look counts though - your face I mean - if you look like you want to dance :D that usually does the trick. But if you sit in the corner with a miserable face, they will ignor you.

I think you must have picked a bad night - don't give up though :flower:

[Mythical]

I have read all the threads on this and related subjects with interest and more than a little dismay.

I'm never going to be a brilliant dancer, I can't spin, I'm pudgy and I'm a tictac justincase breath fanatic but I HONESTLY DON'T CARE!!!!

If someone doesn't want to dance with me, I don't care why and neither need nor want to know, it just does not bother me, I will NEVER worry about it, there are plenty of people who will dance with me.

I don't feel I'm particularly big headed, I know I have "faults" but that's life.

SURELY I'm not alone here??Speak up the "comfortables" of the forum!!!! :grin:

I have my insecurities. If I don't get asked for a dance, it's because (in my head) I'm not good enough - it must be a good song for which everyone is seeking out the great dancers, everyone's found better people to dance with, honestly, most ceroc nights I've been to so far, I'm far, far less than 'comfortable'.

But once I get home and think about it, I AM cr*p at it - but Ceroc, fortunately, is one of those things in life that don't matter. If no-one asks me, I'll ask someone. Most of the time, it's a case of 'just ask anyone' - unless a favourite track is on, then I'll find the nearest of my favourites:worthy: and grab him before anyone else does! (cause they're all awesome and probably everyone elses faves, too!) Only occasionally, it's "I like the way he dances:worthy: ....wonder if he'll dance with me"

If someone DOES ask me, then YAY:clap: but no biggie of they don't!

[SeriouslyAddicted]

Thanks to a comment that was made to me on Saturday I now have the return of an old dancing insecurity. In my trampoline days you only ever have to twist in one direction and you spend a while when you first start out finding out which is your natural twisting direction. Mine is to the left - anti - clockwise.

OK so after 10 years of twisting to the left I take up Salsa where nearly every beginner spin is to the right. I really struggled, but spent a while learning the techniques which I then could also put into practice at Ceroc. I had thought I had got it sorted and that my spinning was going OK until one dance at Funky Lush which I had thought had gone well. The man in question said to me at the end of the dance "Thank you - you are coming along well - you follow nicely- now all you need to do is sort your spinning out". I couldn't believe it - the old ghost comes back to haunt me, and this time I hadn't even realised I had a problem :tears:

[Lee Bartholomew]

{snip}

I wouldn't worry about it. I've never noticed it and I doubt anyone else has. (and if it's any consolation I once had almost an entire forum telling me the same thing )

[TurboTomato]

I wouldn't worry about it. I've never noticed it and I doubt anyone else has. (and if it's any consolation I once had almost an entire forum telling me the same thing )
:yeah:

Your spinning is absolutely fine :love:

[David Bailey]

I had thought I had got it sorted and that my spinning was going OK until one dance at Funky Lush which I had thought had gone well. The man in question said to me at the end of the dance "Thank you - you are coming along well - you follow nicely- now all you need to do is sort your spinning out".
Why on Earth do people make these "helpful" comments? :angry:

What's wrong with just saying "Thanks, that was lovely"? - it's worked for me for years... :rolleyes:

I only ever give feedback if asked. And even then I try to beg off - I'm not a teacher, my opinion is just my opinion and could be wildly wrong.

Still, at least he didn't pat you on the head and say "Well done" :)

[Jhutch]

Why on Earth do people make these "helpful" comments? :angry:

What's wrong with just saying "Thanks, that was lovely"? - it's worked for me for years... :rolleyes:

I only ever give feedback if asked. And even then I try to beg off - I'm not a teacher, my opinion is just my opinion and could be wildly wrong.

Still, at least he didn't pat you on the head and say "Well done" :)

From what i have seen the people who give out these comments normally do it to a lot of people and i sometimes wonder if they are as good as they think they are. I once had the misfortune to stand next to a guy in an intermediate class when it was one woman on. When it was time for the women to move he spent a while telling them what they had done wrong, etc. From my personal point of view this was annoying because it meant that the woman was always late for the start of the next move and they were all looking a bit p*ssed off (one woman looked like she was about to cry:really: ). I did think about walking over and telling him that the constant in the equation was him and that maybe, as he was supposed to be leading, that he was at fault. But i didn't:blush: as i hadnt long started the intermediate class - i just settled for trying to explain to the women that he was telling everyone off.

[Gav]

From what i have seen the people who give out these comments normally do it to a lot of people and i sometimes wonder if they are as good as they think they are. I once had the misfortune to stand next to a guy in an intermediate class when it was one woman on. When it was time for the women to move he spent a while telling them what they had done wrong, etc. From my personal point of view this was annoying because it meant that the woman was always late for the start of the next move and they were all looking a bit p*ssed off (one woman looked like she was about to cry:really: ). I did think about walking over and telling him that the constant in the equation was him and that maybe, as he was supposed to be leading, that he was at fault. But i didn't:blush: as i hadnt long started the intermediate class - i just settled for trying to explain to the women that he was telling everyone off.

First, SA. I've seen nothing wrong with your spinning so :na: to him.

Second, I hope I don't come across the way Jhutch has described someone. My local venue is relatively new, out in the sticks and full of beginners and I quite often find myself helping some of the ladies that are clearly doing things wrong/struggling. Yes, sometimes it slows down the class, but I hope I'm not negative when I do it and I hope the rest of the class is understanding. Would other leaders prefer that I just hand over a lady who's struggling, or help her to understand so she can do it better with her next partner?

[Jhutch]

First, SA. I've seen nothing wrong with your spinning so :na: to him.

Second, I hope I don't come across the way Jhutch has described someone. My local venue is relatively new, out in the sticks and full of beginners and I quite often find myself helping some of the ladies that are clearly doing things wrong/struggling. Yes, sometimes it slows down the class, but I hope I'm not negative when I do it and I hope the rest of the class is understanding. Would other leaders prefer that I just hand over a lady who's struggling, or help her to understand so she can do it better with her next partner?

This was a case of him criticising everyone though and i couldn't help wondering what he was finding fault with each and every time. As for her doing it better, well, most of the women were fairly annoyed and their focus had been distracted so from a straight away, selfish point of view then they weren't doing it better:grin: I am sure you would be much more diplomatic:wink: :) :flower:

[SeriouslyAddicted]

First, SA. I've seen nothing wrong with your spinning so :na: to him.

Second, I hope I don't come across the way Jhutch has described someone. My local venue is relatively new, out in the sticks and full of beginners and I quite often find myself helping some of the ladies that are clearly doing things wrong/struggling. Yes, sometimes it slows down the class, but I hope I'm not negative when I do it and I hope the rest of the class is understanding. Would other leaders prefer that I just hand over a lady who's struggling, or help her to understand so she can do it better with her next partner?

Thanks :flower:

From a followers point of view I have no problems with helpful comments from somebody that I know is clearly more experienced than me and/or who I have danced with before, but I think you have to be careful giving advice based on one dance with a person you have never met before - can come across as a bit patronising and maybe that person was just having an off moment. Also think it is much more acceptable in a lesson environment rather that at a freestyle.

[Chef]

I really struggled, but spent a while learning the techniques which I then could also put into practice at Ceroc. I had thought I had got it sorted and that my spinning was going OK until one dance at Funky Lush which I had thought had gone well. The man in question said to me at the end of the dance "Thank you - you are coming along well - you follow nicely- now all you need to do is sort your spinning out". I couldn't believe it - the old ghost comes back to haunt me, and this time I hadn't even realised I had a problem :tears:

You have done what you can. You understood, when you started salsa that foudn spinning in one direction was easier than the other and you tried to do something about it. That is much better than realising that an area needed work and NOT doing something about it.

Leaving aside the question of wether this person should have said anything at all regarding your dancing after dancing with you (he might have got the impression some how that you were interested in feedback or he was just someone that always offers an unsolicited opinions) it comes down to,

a) He is wrong and doesn't know what he is talking about.

b) he is right and an aspect of your dancing could be improved.

In the meantime your feelings are hurt even though his one negative comment was preceeded by two positive comments and it looks like it has seriously hit your motivation.

How you sort out the truth of options a and b above and what, if anything, you choose to do is down to you. Woodface and TurboTomato say there is nothing that can be improved so it look like the current vote is 2 to 1.

I have rarely met a dancer that couldn't improve something. I used to get hurt about things but now I meet the comments by asking what I can do to improve things.

Try to not let it get you down - hard I know - but don't dismiss it without thought.

[SimonW]

I selected 'not in the clique'. That, I find, is the biggest hurdle when visiting a new venue.

I don't often get refused dances, but when I do it's normally from the 'clique', and quite often when I've been spotted dancing with someone who has accepted (or when I've accepted) a dance with someone not in the 'clique', the situation changes and those in the 'clique' accept a dance.

It doesn't bother me one iota how good anyone is, I can adjust my dancing to suit my partner, and I hope when I dance with those ladies who are more experienced than me, adapt to my lead.

I don't care if you're short, I'll dance my 6'5" frame on my knees is I have to! As long as we both have a good time on the dancefloor that's all that matters.

The last venue I visited I had dances with ladies of all shapes, sizes and abilities and had a great time, and I hope they did too. I tried some moves which confused at first, but bought smiles and laughter, and I made mistakes, sure, but then managed to find my way round them with out spoiling the dance.

There should be no insecurities from anyone on the dance floor, and no reasons to have any.

Sye

[MartinHarper]

I only ever give feedback if asked. And even then I try to beg off - I'm not a teacher, my opinion is just my opinion and could be wildly wrong.

Heh, like teachers never have wildly wrong opinions.

[David Bailey]

Heh, like teachers never have wildly wrong opinions.
Well, but at least they get paid for being wrong. That's a step up for "being wrong for free" in my book.

Besides, I'd only ever say "Oh, just learn AT, will you?" anyway :)

[MartinHarper]

So I finally know enough variations on weight shifts to be able to lead them for an entire dance without excessively repeating myself. This is good because my working answer to the question "what is Blues dance?" is "weight shift variations". I've been doing that from time to time, when dancing with folks who can follow such things.

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. Oddly, more worried than I was as a beginner in other dances. After a minute or two the pressure to lead a yoyo feels very strong.

[Clueless]

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. Oddly, more worried than I was as a beginner in other dances. After a minute or two the pressure to lead a yoyo feels very strong.

same here I have about 2 variations of the yo yo and to not do a dance without a yo-yo is a very strange thing for me :blush:

[Gadget]

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. Oddly, more worried than I was as a beginner in other dances. After a minute or two the pressure to lead a yoyo feels very strong.Yup.. what I tend to do when I'm running low on weight-shift patterns is bring the arms into play as well - a few swoops and extensions, carresses and traces, dropping arms over,... unfortunatly I havn't worked out how to multi-task this and sync the weight-shifts with arm flourishes (I would say "leads", but I'm only leading the follower's arms - not the rest of them.)

I normally end the wavy sea-weed arms bit {:blush:} by turning the follower or stepping round them and going back into weight shifts. Releives the fear of bordom for me - you might want to give it a try.

[Gav]

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. Oddly, more worried than I was as a beginner in other dances. After a minute or two the pressure to lead a yoyo feels very strong.

Me too.

In general, I'm told it isn't a problem, but when you dance with the same person all the time it becomes a problem. :whistle:
In fact, I think it's more a case of me boring myself.
It's easy for followers, they can just go and dance with someone else, I have to dance with me whether I like it or not! :tears:

[Terpsichorea]

So I finally know enough variations on weight shifts to be able to lead them for an entire dance without excessively repeating myself. This is good because my working answer to the question "what is Blues dance?" is "weight shift variations". I've been doing that from time to time, when dancing with folks who can follow such things.

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. Oddly, more worried than I was as a beginner in other dances. After a minute or two the pressure to lead a yoyo feels very strong.

:yeah: I constantly worry about boring my follower - I often have to remind myself that I don't have to demonstrate a new set of moves with every person I dance with. My other vice is the Man-Spin...I'm trying to limit it to a couple of times per dance.

[Anita]

I've heard a few men expressing the same concern about repeating moves.

Though I have to say as a follower, I don't ever recall a time that I've "got bored" with the repetition of a step. I've danced modern jive for 14 years and in that time must have danced with loads of men with this concern. I've also danced with plenty of people who have only completed one or two classes who only have 4 or 8 steps to play with.

I think a dance can still be a fantastic experience with only a handful of steps, especially if it's approached with a positive attitude, or a sense of fun from both partners.

I have found that I've got used to the steps that certain men like dancing.... but this doesn't bore me, in fact I look forward to them doing their "signature step" :nice:

Maybe the problem is more that - the leader is stuck with their own set of steps and therefore finds themself getting bore. Maybe assuming the follower is also bored. The follower experiences many different steps in one night with different partners and therefore does not get bored......??? What do you think?

Anita

[MarkW]

...

Maybe the problem is more that - the leader is stuck with their own set of steps and therefore finds themself getting bore. Maybe assuming the follower is also bored. The follower experiences many different steps in one night with different partners and therefore does not get bored......??? What do you think?

Anita

I think/hope you are right and it's nice to hear such sentiments from a lady who has danced a lot. Very encouraging. Thanks :cheers:

[~Jo~]

I put 'not good enough',

I really do not like asking men to dance, and so far I don't, which isn't good because then I don't dance at all at freestyles unless a man asks me (which is usually never) so I miss out, but for some reason I seem to have a social block and I just can't put myself out there lol.

I don't know why I don't get asked though...I think the men know im a beginner and so I think they wont want to dance with me because I might follow wrong and they'll either have to change what they're doing or explain the move to me and it'll ruin their fun (that they could be having with more experienced dancers)

I also sometimes think my age comes into it. I'm 21, but a lot of the guys are older in my class and I think they dont want to ask me in case I think they have another motive, if you know what I mean! But it's annoying really, 'cos I think I'm actually quite pretty (if I do say so myself lol) so it's like "Why don't you want to dance with me!!??" you should want to dance with me lmao :grin::blush:

It's the same when we have to line up for class, I always seem to be the 'space' as no man will come and stand opposite me, hmmmm....maybe I'M intimidating. It does add to my nervousness when it comes to asking them though as I'm thinking....you never ask me, or voluntarily partner up with me in class... which means you could possible turn me down, and although I have turned down a man or two (i was genuinely tired and didn't want to dance and I did say so in the most nicest way) I still couldnt bare it happening to me lol (i know i know double standards)...

[NZ Monkey]

My biggest insecurity is that I’m no good at this dancing thing.

In MJ I worry that while I used to have a reasonably wide repertoire, after almost two years of only sporadic it’s down to around 10 moves. I also worry that those ten moves sometimes go badly haywire. I fear I have the functional musicality of a goldfish flapping around on dry land because I’m concentrating so hard on putting my follower where I want them.

In WCS, I wonder just how I’m coming along without anyone to compare myself to. I don’t have any benchmarks so it’s very difficult to know if the effort I put into it is really paying off, or whether it’s all in my head :sad:

[David Bailey]

I put 'not good enough',

I really do not like asking men to dance, and so far I don't, which isn't good because then I don't dance at all at freestyles unless a man asks me (which is usually never) so I miss out, but for some reason I seem to have a social block and I just can't put myself out there lol.

I don't know why I don't get asked though...I think the men know im a beginner and so I think they wont want to dance with me because I might follow wrong and they'll either have to change what they're doing or explain the move to me and it'll ruin their fun (that they could be having with more experienced dancers)
There's a chance you're also putting out "don't ask me" vibes, in terms of body language and so on.

Typically, I'd much rather ask someone to dance who's standing on the edge of the floor, maybe moving to the music, and clearly dying to dance, than someone sitting down, possibly looking serious or worried, not making eye contact, that sort of thing.

Maybe worth evaluating your use of body language?

[Phil_dB]

If i'm not getting many dances I also think "it's because i'm not good enough". (and then I think, "well, that's probably true, but i'm only going to get better by dancing, so I might as well find a victim to bore with my repertoire and start clocking up some more dance hours").





My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower.



Me too.


Me three!


:yeah: I constantly worry about boring my follower.... My other vice is the Man-Spin...I'm trying to limit it to a couple of times per dance.

I have a bit of an man-spin issue going on too :doh:



I don't really have too much of an issue with asking for dances & I get asked quite often also to be fair to followers :flower:. You can't just sit there and wait to be asked all the time, you have to do your fair share imo.

If I can't see anyone to ask, and i'm not getting asked, as soon as a track finishes, I'll walk onto the dance floor and ask someone who has just finished - sometimes this is the only way to get a dance, as a lot of men thank one partner turn around and immediately grab another, so they all go quick!

My outlook is that I'm there for the same reasons as the vast majority of follows, - to dance & have fun. As there's no alteria motive, there's nothing to worry about.

I will dance with anyone. Man, woman, fat, thin, tall, short, old, young. I never refuse a dance (i've not YET had a refusal... - I'm sure my time will come...).

The only follows I won't ask to dance with are those who have previously bounced my hand all over the place, - but if they ask me, of course I won't refuse..

I couldn't care less about experience, 1st time beginners - make no difference to me, I'll just do the moves they've learnt in the lesson, and maybe a couple of other easy to follow ones they might have also done, - it's all good practice for me as far as I'm concerned.

As has probably been said a thousand times before, - as long as i'm dancing with someone who is smiling, maybe a bit of eye contact now and again, - i'm happy.

[Agente Secreto]

I put 'not good enough',

I really do not like asking men to dance, and so far I don't, which isn't good because then I don't dance at all at freestyles unless a man asks me (which is usually never) so I miss out, but for some reason I seem to have a social block and I just can't put myself out there lol.

I don't know why I don't get asked though...I think the men know im a beginner and so I think they wont want to dance with me because I might follow wrong and they'll either have to change what they're doing or explain the move to me and it'll ruin their fun (that they could be having with more experienced dancers)
...

There's a chance you're also putting out "don't ask me" vibes, in terms of body language and so on.

Typically, I'd much rather ask someone to dance who's standing on the edge of the floor, maybe moving to the music, and clearly dying to dance, than someone sitting down, possibly looking serious or worried, not making eye contact, that sort of thing.

Maybe worth evaluating your use of body language?

Speaking personally - I enjoy dancing with beginners and I have never thought to myself 'I'm not dancing with her since she's only a beginner. It is always good to see how newbies blossom when given a little encouragement and see what they can achieve when dancing with a more experienced lead - and I find that this gives me lots of enjoyment. I get something different from dancing with less experienced follows, but I have had great dances with people that have been coming to MJ for only a week or two. This is different to what I get from dancing with an experienced follow but it is still very satisfying.

It could be your body language - we had one attractive lady dancer at the local venue who I always felt was a bit standoff-ish when we danced - so I simply didn't ask her. It turned out she was just painfully shy and I misinterpreted shy:blush:. My wife has struggled sometimes with getting partners, although she is both a good dancer and attractive. The advice given to her by a very 'popular' lady on the floor was very similar to what DB says in that if your waiting out a track do so at the side of the floor and sway to the music since that sends the 'I want to dance' message out very clearly. Also when lining up for class, as you're walking on just find a friendly guy and ask if you could start together by saying that you've seen that he knows what he's doing (even if this is a little white lie) and you like to start of the class with a good foundation. He'll not be able to resist the ego stroking.............:whistle:

Remember though that the male is a complex beast. I'll use my very attractive 19 yr old daughter (good looks courtesy of her mum not me) as an example of this. When my daughter came along to our venue she didn't dance as much as I thought she would. It turned out in conversation that some guys were worrying what I thought - but far more were concerned that by dancing with the youngest and most attractive girl in the room they might be perceived as perving:eek:

I'm sure that what you'll find very quickly that the dancing community at your local venue will very soon swallow you up. Like any other social group it just takes a bit of time.

Agent 000
Licensed to Dance

[David Bailey]

It could be your body language - we had one attractive lady dancer at the local venue who I always felt was a bit standoff-ish when we danced - so I simply didn't ask her.
...
Remember though that the male is a complex beast. I'll use my very attractive 19 yr old daughter (good looks courtesy of her mum not me) as an example of this. When my daughter came along to our venue she didn't dance as much as I thought she would. It turned out in conversation that some guys were worrying what I thought - but far more were concerned that by dancing with the youngest and most attractive girl in the room they might be perceived as perving:eek:
Yes - if you're young and goodlooking, it can intimidate partners.

It's a curse I suffer from also :D

[bigdjiver]

...DB says in that if your waiting out a track do so at the side of the floor and sway to the music since that sends the 'I want to dance' message out very clearly. ... :yeah:making eye contact, or even looking around desperately also helps ...

I saw a lady at a freestyle that I did not ask to dance because I was sure I had offended her, but I just just could not remember how. Later it came to me,. I was invited by the "youngest and prettiest". I responded to a "do that move" request. I looked up and saw her Mum ...


.... but far more were concerned that by dancing with the youngest and most attractive girl in the room they might be perceived as perving:eek: ...:yeah:

[straycat]

Yes - if you're young and goodlooking, it can intimidate partners.

You feel intimidated? Surely not.... :whistle:

[Phil_dB]

Speaking personally - I enjoy dancing with beginners and I have never thought to myself 'I'm not dancing with her since she's only a beginner. It is always good to see how newbies blossom when given a little encouragement and see what they can achieve when dancing with a more experienced lead - and I find that this gives me lots of enjoyment. I get something different from dancing with less experienced follows, but I have had great dances with people that have been coming to MJ for only a week or two. This is different to what I get from dancing with an experienced follow but it is still very satisfying.



I will always remember my first lesson well.

After both beginner sessions, back in the low lights of the main hall, seeing all these talented people having the time of their lives on the dance floor, I'd give anything to be able to move half as well as them. I was SOOOOOOOOOOO pleased when a taxi came over and said; "Would you like to dance?". My face lit up. "I'd love to.", I replied.

I was chuffed that someone had asked me to dance. I was also dying to practice.

After the second track she said that she'd better dance with somebody else (!) :sad: (she was a superb taxi), but shortly after another lady asked me to dance, and she continued to dance with me for about FOUR tracks in a row -- endlessly repeating THREE moves! (She offered to continue after each track by the way!) - I'm pretty sure she would have continued further, but I needed a break! How lovely is that? She didnt work there, or have anything to do with the running of the venue. This practice made a big difference to me in the beginning I feel.

I'm having the absolute time of my life now, - and will ALWAYS remember the patience and empathy these two girls showed me that night. In a funny sort of way, I guess I feel a little sentimental about them! Sort of, - -grateful?? Not sure. :D

I still see them around the circuit and always love dancing with them, - it reminds me of my first night :grin:

Someone once told me, "The first venue you go to will always feel like home". I think there's some truth in that, - but for me, I would put more sentimental weight on those first couple of "freestyle" dances. :flower: :hug:

[frolicols]

I put "not good enough" as although I know all the beginner moves and have moved onto intermediate I don't feel I'm stylish enough with the moves that I know. I feel very robotic.

I also have a bit of a stigma asking more experienced follows to dance as I feel I will bore them with my limited and basic repertoire!

[dave the scaffolder]

Yes - if you're young and goodlooking, it can intimidate partners.

It's a curse I suffer from also :D

You are a very attractive man Mr Bailey.

Divna think we haven't noticed pet.

Because we have.


DTS XXX XXX

[Chef]

I put 'not good enough',

Hello Jo. I feel the same way even after this being my hobby for the last 10 years. Almost everyone wants to be a bit better than they were last week. It is a feeling that will probably never leave you but might not be such a strong feeling in the future.


I really do not like asking men to dance, and so far I don't, which isn't good because then I don't dance at all at freestyles unless a man asks me (which is usually never) so I miss out, but for some reason I seem to have a social block and I just can't put myself out there lol.

Don't worry about asking the men to dance. Asking for a dance in the MJ world means that you only want a dance. In a night club it may often mean more. In the MJ world you simply ask someone for a dance, enjoy that dance for what you can put into the experience for both of you at your current level of skill, at the end you simply thank your partner (since no matter what, they have tried their very best to entertain you), and go your seperate ways. I hope it is a social block that you can overcome - like most things that are new and unfamiliar, the first time is the hardest and it gets easier from there.


I don't know why I don't get asked though...I think the men know im a beginner and so I think they wont want to dance with me because I might follow wrong and they'll either have to change what they're doing or explain the move to me and it'll ruin their fun (that they could be having with more experienced dancers)

I have found that the most experienced dancers enjoy dancing with beginners. I like them very much because they come with no ingrained bad habits. Anything that goes wrong that is due to their own inexperience and inability, and my lack of not being able to lead well enough to mitigate this. I remember that they are trying their best, that their best will get better, and that they will learn nothing when their bum is on a seat. All dancers start from the same place and I try to never forget this.


I also sometimes think my age comes into it. I'm 21, but a lot of the guys are older in my class and I think they dont want to ask me in case I think they have another motive, if you know what I mean! But it's annoying really, 'cos I think I'm actually quite pretty (if I do say so myself lol) so it's like "Why don't you want to dance with me!!??" you should want to dance with me lmao :grin::blush:

Being young and pretty in an enviroment where most of the leaders are much older can be a problem. My partner took her 23 year old pretty daughter to a dance. She got freaked out by the number of older (40+) men who were asking her to dance. We know there are some pervy men on the dance scene and we know who they are at our local venues. We were keeping an eye on her and these gentlemen were asking her to dance because they were the most able, kindly, and understanding dancers in the place, and we didn't veto any of them because we know them personally. She didn't see it that way. To her they were just old men. At that time she valued youth and didn't see that kindness could come from people of all ages.

So you can understand it from the mans point of view. Many will not ask the young pretty things to dance purely because they don't want to be percieved as asking (and by implication perving) every young pretty thing that comes through the door. Big tip here. Ask the Taxi dancers if there are any men that they could reccomend as being good for beginners. Ideally you shouldn't need to but it is a simple fact that some people have a better attitude to beginners than others. You will then need to ask them - this will put them at their ease.


It's the same when we have to line up for class, I always seem to be the 'space' as no man will come and stand opposite me, hmmmm....maybe I'M intimidating. It does add to my nervousness when it comes to asking them though as I'm thinking....you never ask me, or voluntarily partner up with me in class... which means you could possible turn me down, and although I have turned down a man or two (i was genuinely tired and didn't want to dance and I did say so in the most nicest way) I still couldnt bare it happening to me lol (i know i know double standards)...


Again it is the older man thing of not wanting to seem as if they are targetting the pretty young newcomers. Ask them to dance, become a familiar face, and all this will change.

The dance world sees a lot of new faces coming through the door each week. Most newcomers stick with it for 4-5 weeks and are never seen again. If you are an experienced dancer you understand that you need to provide a helpful and welcoming face for newcomers but to don't become instant friends with people who are most likely only going to be around another 3 weeks.

I do hope you stick with it Jo. Dancing has and still is a great source of joy (and some frustration) in my life over the last 10 years. I hope you can find as much fun as I have once you have overcome these initial difficulties.

[~Jo~]

Thanks Chef, your message has made me feel so much better :nice: !

I really love MJ so im sticking with it for life lol, and I'm going to work on my confidence, I dont want it getting in the way of me freestlying as thats the quickest way to improve my dancing.

I tried to change my body language at the last freestyle, no one asked me (doh!) but I did actually ask a man :what:...It was really daunting actually but he said yes! I still felt guilty the whole time that he only said yes out of politeness (after all, if people have it ingrained that saying 'no' is rude that means they'll say yes to me even if they don't want to!) but hopefully this feeling will go when I try it again (i am determined lol).

Jo x

[Lost Leader]

I think/hope you are right and it's nice to hear such sentiments from a lady who has danced a lot. Very encouraging. Thanks :cheers:

:yeah::yeah::yeah:

[CJ]

Top answer...

The 2 things I wanted to reiterate from Chef's post:

1) We were all beginners once. One of the things that impresses me most about the MJ scene is the willingness, the want to bring on beginners, to help them out of that place we all have been.:flower:

2) Another thing I'm proud of (although there are exceptions and every club seems to know who they are) is that many of the guys, particularly the experienced guys, pride themselves on how safe MJ is: a dance is just a dance. Sometimes, in order to make it safe, we won't ask the youngest, prettiest newbie for fear of giving the wrong impression. Just as much as we don't want to perv, we also don't want the newbie to feel (even incorrectly) perved... and so we often go for the safer option.:sick:. of just not asking (at least first time) but we do come round eventually...:doh:

I hope this helps...

[Chef]

Thanks Chef, your message has made me feel so much better :nice: !

Hello Jo. Well that is what we are (most of the time) here for. It is often helpful to be able to understand the other persons point of view.


I really love MJ so im sticking with it for life lol, and I'm going to work on my confidence, I dont want it getting in the way of me freestlying as thats the quickest way to improve my dancing.

Lessons (IMO) is where you get to learn the feel and mechanics of the moves. Freestyle is a very different thing, and I feel, quite a bit harder. In freestyle a follower is entirely reactive to the moment and has no expectations to assit them to see ahead. The follower is highly dependant on the leaders abiltiy to transmit lead, and the follower needs to provide a frame (so the transmitted lead can be recieved by her body) and be responsible for her own balance.

Even when you are not dancing there are things you can practice (and get advice from other followers) about. So even if you are not actually freestyling there useful things that can be done.

I think of dance as having two parts. Individual skills such as frame, balance, spins and turns, ability to hear, read and understand the music. Partnership skills such as lead and follow, how to rescue yourself or your partner if things don't go to plan.

You have a lot of fun ahead of you.


I tried to change my body language at the last freestyle, no one asked me (doh!) but I did actually ask a man :what:...It was really daunting actually but he said yes!

I hope your surprise at people saying yes to dances has worn off by now.


I still felt guilty the whole time that he only said yes out of politeness (after all, if people have it ingrained that saying 'no' is rude that means they'll say yes to me even if they don't want to!) but hopefully this feeling will go when I try it again (i am determined lol).

Jo x

Perhaps they will say yes to you even if the don't really want to. Perhaps they were tired, thirsty, want to talk or dance with friends. The key thing is that they did say yes even thugh if they really objected they could say no.

Politeness and manners are not top of the public awareness but it is nice to know that they can be found. One day, when you are a highly experienced and able dancer you will be just as polite with new leaders even though you know they may bounce your hand in time with the music, push you off balance in spins, grip the back of your hand with their thumbs............

Forgive them their sins.

At the end of the dance just smile and thank them for they have done their very best and have been a whole lot more nervous about it than you would have been. You will go to your next dance remembering how you felt when you were at the same stage as them.

[fletch]

My insecurity is... I'm worried that I'm boring my follower. .

I get this said to me loads by men, the thing is men mostly lead unless they get me :wink: and cos of this its you getting board with yourself, how can we get board we proberbly have one or two dances with you we havn't got time to get boared, men seem to think they have to jazz it up to entertaint the follower, pearsonally I didagree, don't over complicate it.:flower:

guy's ask your regular dance partners, which moves do you like which ones don't you like, you will find we like and disslike simmilar moves add or discard as the case may be. :cheers:

and this dosn't apply to you Martin your one of my top 10 :worthy:

[Twirly]

I put 'not good enough',

I really do not like asking men to dance, and so far I don't, which isn't good because then I don't dance at all at freestyles unless a man asks me (which is usually never) so I miss out, but for some reason I seem to have a social block and I just can't put myself out there lol.

I don't know why I don't get asked though...I think the men know im a beginner and so I think they wont want to dance with me because I might follow wrong and they'll either have to change what they're doing or explain the move to me and it'll ruin their fun (that they could be having with more experienced dancers)

I also sometimes think my age comes into it. I'm 21, but a lot of the guys are older in my class and I think they dont want to ask me in case I think they have another motive, if you know what I mean! But it's annoying really, 'cos I think I'm actually quite pretty (if I do say so myself lol) so it's like "Why don't you want to dance with me!!??" you should want to dance with me

Firstly, I think that this not getting asked happens to almost all women, regardless of age, shape or dance ability, at some point. You are young and pretty so can blame that, I’m older and overweight, so I’ll blame that! See, you can never win. It’s one of the mysteries of the dance scene. As such, don’t take it so personally. :flower:

As for not asking guys to dance, some good advice has been given here already. But do ask. I’ve been through this stage too, and I got over it initially by asking guys who had previously asked me at least a couple of times. My logic was that since they’d asked me more than once, they must get something out of dancing with me and therefore wouldn’t mind being asked. Once I got comfortable with this, I would then make myself ask at least one stranger a night. I moved slowly out of my comfort zone. From there, I progressed to asking people I felt intimidated by as they are fabulous dancers… still struggle a bit with that one, but I’m working on it. And some nights are better than other – I feel more confident and can ask, others I feel like a mouse and hide in the corner, not asking. Enjoy the former and don’t worry if you get one of the latter occasionally. It’ll pass.

Also, put yourself in the guy’s shoes. If he’s asked you a few times, but you haven’t asked him back, then how does that make him feel? Surely, if you liked dancing with him, you’d have asked him in return? But you haven’t… so that can only mean that you don’t like dancing with him and he’d better not ask you again. :sad:


I get this said to me loads by men, the thing is men mostly lead unless they get me :wink: and cos of this its you getting board with yourself, how can we get board we proberbly have one or two dances with you we havn't got time to get boared, men seem to think they have to jazz it up to entertaint the follower, pearsonally I didagree, don't over complicate it.:flower:

guy's ask your regular dance partners, which moves do you like which ones don't you like, you will find we like and disslike simmilar moves add or discard as the case may be.

:yeah: It’s a 3 or 4 minute dance. How bored can I get?

(Now Beo, don’t take that as permission to do yoyo’s all night! :rolleyes:)

[bigdjiver]

... Also, put yourself in the guy’s shoes. If he’s asked you a few times, but you haven’t asked him back, then how does that make him feel? Surely, if you liked dancing with him, you’d have asked him in return? But you haven’t… so that can only mean that you don’t like dancing with him and he’d better not ask you again. :sad:...:yeah:
Every once in a while, when there are een-ish numbers, I have a Lady's invitation night where I just wait to be asked. It is very good for unswelling the head and giving me the "must try harder" feeling. :sad: I do find out who really likes dancing with me that way though, and that is sometimes surprising.

[fletch]

:yeah: It’s a 3 or 4 minute dance. How bored can I get?

(Now Beo, don’t take that as permission to do yoyo’s all night! :rolleyes:)

I have one lovely guy in the Midlands that only has one move, honest, truly, just one, but I quite like dancing with him, well I allways dance with him when I see him cos I know whats coming it give me a chalenge to put swivvels and slids and things in:grin:

if he's not getting his sketch book out of his back pocket, he's a nice guy. bless :hug:

[martingold]

(Now Beo, don’t take that as permission to do yoyo’s all night! :rolleyes:)
makes mental note dont dance with twirley as i only know one move and thats the yoyo

[Twirly]

makes mental note dont dance with twirley as i only know one move and thats the yoyo

:rofl:

[martingold]

makes mental note dont dance with twirley as i only know one move and thats the yoyo
i can do it slowley and musicaly though

[frolicols]

i can do it slowley and musicaly though

Actually I've found (after a whole 6 weeks of Ceroc) that I go through phases of using certain moves a lot. I started on the manspin, then the step across, but I do now have what can only be described as a fetish for yoyos!

I had a confidence crisis last week and didn't ask many to dance (only the ones I have previously danced with). At Stevenage tonight I'm going to have a wee bit of dutch courage, then step out of my comfort zone and ask some strangers! :clap:

[Maxine]

Actually I've found (after a whole 6 weeks of Ceroc) that I go through phases of using certain moves a lot. I started on the manspin, then the step across, but I do now have what can only be described as a fetish for yoyos!

I had a confidence crisis last week and didn't ask many to dance (only the ones I have previously danced with). At Stevenage tonight I'm going to have a wee bit of dutch courage, then step out of my comfort zone and ask some strangers! :clap:

As a follower (I use that term lightly) I often know what the leader is going to do if it is someone that I dance regularly with, as most men seem to have their favourite moves (comfortable moves) no matter how many they have and every now and then a surprise is thrown in to keep me on my toes.

As a leader I do find myself doing mainly the same moves as one seems to flow into another and it is quite unconscious on my part I just find myself in those positions
Ps keep asking strangers

[Steven666]

I have one lovely guy in the Midlands that only has one move, honest, truly, just one, but I quite like dancing with him, well I allways dance with him when I see him cos I know whats coming it give me a chalenge to put swivvels and slids and things in:grin:

if he's not getting his sketch book out of his back pocket, he's a nice guy. bless :hug:

He certainly is though his repetoire is expanding lately.

I know another guy from up here who has less than one move. :eek: (the one he does consists of standing there and then doing a half assed armjive, badly led return straight back into another armjive, lol!).

[fletch]

He certainly is though his repetoire is expanding lately.

I know another guy from up here who has less than one move. (the one he does consists of standing there and then doing a half assed armjive, badly led return straight back into another armjive, lol!).


don't be fibbing to me s666 I danced with him recently and its still one unless he's saving his moves for the other girls :na:


do I know him :confused: I just wiggle about whaen I get one of them :lol:or chat :rolleyes:

[fletch]

[FONT=Verdana]keep asking strangers


they don't come stranger than some I ask :lol: