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KatieR
29th-May-2005, 08:34 PM
Im here stuck at work and no one has shown up yet so really feel bummed that i had to leave the TJive early and race back to kent only to find that there was nothing to do! ARRGH!

I was wondering what peoples favourite quotes or sayings were? I think they can say things we often cant express ourselves... my very favourite quote is...

'Life is not about how many breathes you take but the moments that take your breath away."


Katie
:flower:

Feelingpink
29th-May-2005, 08:36 PM
Sorry you had to leave Hammersmith early!

"There isn't enough time to do the things I want to do in life, much less the things I don't want to do"

KatieR
29th-May-2005, 09:01 PM
Sorry you had to leave Hammersmith early!

"There isn't enough time to do the things I want to do in life, much less the things I don't want to do"

Thanks! Thats a cool saying, have to agree with you on that one!! Im trying to think of happy sayings to cheer myself up a bit. :flower:

Bangers & Mash
29th-May-2005, 10:22 PM
I heard a brilliant one today

"I’ve never been an optimist. I am a prisoner of hope"
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, 2005

Yliander
30th-May-2005, 05:29 AM
"well this day has been a total waste of make up"

and

"how to I set the laser printer to kill?"

cerocmetro
30th-May-2005, 05:32 AM
"well this day has been a total waste of make up"

and

"how to I set the laser printer to kill?"


Great quotes but i still like;
Just when you thought the weekend had everything :whistle: ...../snip/

Feelingpink
30th-May-2005, 08:41 AM
"well this day has been a total waste of make up"

and

"how to I set the laser printer to kill?" :rofl: :rofl:

KatieR
30th-May-2005, 12:38 PM
"well this day has been a total waste of make up"

and

"how to I set the laser printer to kill?"

I love it!!

Lynn
30th-May-2005, 12:51 PM
"how to I set the laser printer to kill?" :rofl: :rofl:

(The office laser printer has been really playing up recently :tears: )

CJ
30th-May-2005, 12:54 PM
"While you are down there...."

Purple Sparkler
31st-May-2005, 10:00 AM
"how to I set the laser printer to kill?"

:rofl:
SO stealing that one.

One for using behind the backs (literally) of attractive men:

"That arse should have railings round it so people could file respectfully past."

Rhythm King
31st-May-2005, 11:39 AM
All politicians are like disposable nappies. They should be changed frequently and for the same reason.

Dreadful Scathe
31st-May-2005, 11:47 AM
Great quotes but i still like;
Just when you thought the weekend had everything :whistle: ...../snip/
...now THATS funny ;) :)

KatieR
31st-May-2005, 12:07 PM
This is one I have posted on the OZ forum but its such a great one I'll post it here as well!!

'Diplomacy is telling a person to go to hell in such a way that he will look forward to the trip!'

Sal
31st-May-2005, 12:14 PM
My favourite is a Sparkles-ism.

"Everything will be ok in the end, and if it is not ok, it is not the end."

Graham
31st-May-2005, 01:50 PM
My favourite is a really corny sexist one, but it brings back happy memories of a friend I lost touch with years ago: "On a scale of nought to one, I'd give her one"

Dreadful Scathe
31st-May-2005, 01:55 PM
My favourite is a really corny sexist one, but it brings back happy memories of a friend I lost touch with years ago: "On a scale of nought to one, I'd give her one"
Ive heard that one but its only funny if you use a proper scale i.e. on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give her one, because the 'one' you are referring to isnt part of the scale... you are actually changing the subject...er...if you see what i mean. I had this argument with a friend who said the same thing. :)


1 of my favourites is 'treat everyone as you wish to be treated yourself......unless you're a sado-mascochist'

CJ
31st-May-2005, 02:04 PM
When all your dreams have turned to dust... it's time to vacuum. :tears:

G, DS: a;; said and done, if she was doubly attractive, would you give her two, or give her one.... TWICE?? :D

Graham
31st-May-2005, 02:15 PM
1 of my favourites is 'treat everyone as you wish to be treated yourself......unless you're a sado-mascochist'
I've heard that one but it's only funny if you miss out the "sado-". I had this argument with a friend who said the same thing. :)

Dreadful Scathe
31st-May-2005, 02:20 PM
I've heard that one but it's only funny if you miss out the "sado-". I had this argument with a friend who said the same thing. :)
touchè sir .... touchè :)

Bombay Sapphire
1st-June-2005, 12:58 AM
You look much better without my glasses!!!


or


Is there no begining to your talent?

:D :D

Gojive
1st-June-2005, 01:04 AM
"He who succeeds, is a toothless parrot"

Lory
1st-June-2005, 01:07 AM
If you ain't got any socks, you can't pull em up! :(

Gojive
1st-June-2005, 01:11 AM
If you ain't got any socks, you can't pull em up! :(

Last Xmas, I bought my ex-wife something to keep her chest warm.....a pair of ankle socks! :na:

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't really for you" :waycool:

philsmove
1st-June-2005, 05:33 AM
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

Gadget
1st-June-2005, 08:32 AM
There are no stupid questions: just stupid people

El Salsero Gringo
1st-June-2005, 08:51 AM
Ancient Chinese proverb (I read somewhere on the Forum)

"It takes one to Tango"

Also, "Confucius - he say, 'The man with one watch know the time - the man with two is never exactly sure.'"

Gojive
1st-June-2005, 09:29 AM
In theory, there's no difference between theory and practise, but in practise there is.

Tessalicious
1st-June-2005, 09:53 AM
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Yliander
1st-June-2005, 11:29 AM
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

and

You! Off my planet

Scotch Bonnet
1st-June-2005, 08:13 PM
If you can't be good :innocent: be careful :grin: and if you can't be careful :o be good at it !! :devil:

Liz ;) ;)
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Dance Demon
1st-June-2005, 08:21 PM
You're not late until you get there.........

Gadget
1st-June-2005, 10:32 PM
A friend of mine has a tshirt with the slogan:

"Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians!"

bigdjiver
2nd-June-2005, 12:19 AM
The man that never made a mistake never made anything.

philsmove
2nd-June-2005, 02:51 AM
A friend of mine has a tshirt with the slogan:

"Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians!" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


I want one , preferably in black
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Feelingpink
2nd-June-2005, 09:32 AM
"Men - great at carrying baggage ... rubbish at unpacking it" (paraphrased from a forumite).


"Take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth" (heard yesterday).

Lou
2nd-June-2005, 09:44 AM
"Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians!"
I'm sure I've seen the Tramp in that t-shirt...

preferably in black
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :whistle:

KatieR
2nd-June-2005, 10:15 AM
Stop the world, I want to get off!!

Dizzy
2nd-June-2005, 11:36 AM
“Even if the door slams in your face, the window is always open.”


“ Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”


and my personal favourite......

“ Never cry over spilt milk – it could’ve been whisky.”

Purple Sparkler
2nd-June-2005, 11:43 AM
“Even if the door slams in your face, the window is always open.”

This reminds me of a quote from a new favourite film of mine, 'Saved!':

"They say when Jesus closes a door, somewhere He opens a window"
"Yeah, so we'd have something to jump out of."

And can I add (this is a saying- it's not ADDRESSED to anyone!)

'You look like I need a drink.'

Dreadful Scathe
2nd-June-2005, 11:46 AM
A friend of mine has a tshirt with the slogan:

"Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians!"

hmm dont think ive seen that one - thought it was "throw me to the lesbians" - "feed" is much less of an innuendo isnt it? :)

Bangers & Mash
2nd-June-2005, 07:29 PM
Not quite a quote, but this tickled me.

her: "I can only cook two things really well, pork chops, and turkey"
him: "Which is this?"

Lory
2nd-June-2005, 11:10 PM
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. :sick:

Plus -

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak :wink:

Feelingpink
3rd-June-2005, 09:25 AM
If I throw a stick, will you leave?

DavidY
3rd-June-2005, 06:24 PM
Also, "Confucius - he say, 'The man with one watch know the time - the man with two is never exactly sure.'":yeah: This is a quote I've used for ages at work, usually about some IT system or other.

As in: "If a website has one results page, you know who won, if a website has two results pages (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?p=120676#post120676), you're never sure." :whistle:
Currently it is at least "definitively inaccurate"

Little Monkey
4th-June-2005, 10:30 PM
Stop the world, I want to get off!!

Hey, that's the saying of my life!!!

Right, here's another one of my favourites: I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries an umbrella....

Tiggerbabe
4th-June-2005, 10:38 PM
One of my favourites - heard at a David and Lily Barker "Lead and Follow" workshop............

Get your coat - you've leveraged!

Yliander
5th-June-2005, 04:18 AM
If you can't be good :innocent: be careful :grin: and if you can't be careful :o be good at it !! :devil:

Liz ;) ;)
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:or alternatively

if you can't be good don't get caught :wink:

KatieR
17th-June-2005, 04:23 PM
I heard this one the other day...

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them!

Barry Shnikov
21st-June-2005, 08:12 PM
Umming and aahing about adding to this thread, but...

pace Oliver Cromwell:

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible: you may be wrong."

(Doesn't apply to me, of course...)

Funky Mado
21st-June-2005, 09:12 PM
"You have the freedom to do as I say"

"What goes around, comes around"

"Everything happens for the best"

jockey
21st-June-2005, 10:13 PM
"I keep my women in the best company and my horses in the worst" is a famous saying in racing attributed to roue and bon viveur of the turf Geoffery (sp?) Barnard.
For the unitiated in the world of the thoroughbred and gambling it is widely known that races are won by classier horses and the other part of the saying I dont need to explain..
My personal favourite is "from each according to his ability to each according to his need" (The Communist Manifesto)
or,
the proper action is the one that contributes to the greatest happiness of the greatest number, otherwise known as the Principle of Utility I think first espoused by James Mill the great British libertarian.
What about this, plucked from "In Praise Of Idleness" (Essays by Bertrand Russell):
..it may be safely assumed that each country which adopts Socialism will cease to be aggressively militaristic, and will be genuinely concerned only to prevent aggression on the part of others. When Socialism has become universal... the motives for large scale wars will probably no longer have sufficient force to overcome the very obvious reasons for preferring peace (pp 152-3 "The Case For Socialism")
Now wheres my Oscar Wilde section....?

Barry Shnikov
21st-June-2005, 11:26 PM
the proper action is the one that contributes to the greatest happiness of the greatest number, otherwise known as the Principle of Utility I think first espoused by James Mill the great British libertarian.


...would that be brother of the more famous John Stuart? :innocent:

Barry Shnikov
21st-June-2005, 11:29 PM
What about this, plucked from "In Praise Of Idleness" (Essays by Bertrand Russell):
..it may be safely assumed that each country which adopts Socialism will cease to be aggressively militaristic, and will be genuinely concerned only to prevent aggression on the part of others. When Socialism has become universal... the motives for large scale wars will probably no longer have sufficient force to overcome the very obvious reasons for preferring peace (pp 152-3 "The Case For Socialism")


I've been struggling with this recently. If a socialist system does not include democracy, that is, votes for all, will it not inevitably become a dictatorship (or at best, an oligarchy)? And if it does, won't it inevitably become very much like - er - GB or the US?

Yliander
22nd-June-2005, 03:35 AM
sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me...

Tiggerbabe
22nd-June-2005, 07:45 AM
:rofl: - just don't tell Lou! :wink:
(although I think she's changed her avatar back again now)

Gojive
22nd-June-2005, 08:42 AM
"I think, therefore I'm single"

:whistle:

jockey
22nd-June-2005, 09:03 AM
Re earlier post: Jeremy Bentham is famous for the Utility Principle, not James Mill. Sorry. :yeah:

jockey
22nd-June-2005, 09:29 AM
I've been struggling with this recently. If a socialist system does not include democracy, that is, votes for all, will it not inevitably become a dictatorship (or at best, an oligarchy)? And if it does, won't it inevitably become very much like - er - GB or the US?
Hello.
Russell in this essay argues that the causes of war are found in the economic interests of "certain sections" of society (by this he means the ruling capitalist class) and their search for profit and lack of longterm planning; economic reconstruction (removal of the class structure, wholedsale nationalisation and central planning in the interests of the wider population) preserves peace.(pp145-156 The Case For Socialism).
The other part of Socialism is the political:
"The political part requires that the ultimate political power should be democratic" p122."Marx himself, and practically all socialists before 1918. would have agreed tothis"...;..Unless there is popular control , there can no reason to expect the State to conduct its economic enterprises except foooor its own enrichment, and therefore exploitation will take a new form. Democracy, accordingly, must be accepted as part of the definition of a Socialist regime." (pp122-3 TCFS)
There is a need for temporary dictarship through the transition but this should not be viewed as the inevitable norm, as the West has identified it since the Bolsheviksdissolved the Russian Constituent Assembly.
Bib: IN PRAISE OF IDLENESS and other Essays, Geo Allen & UNwin Ltd, London.
1935.

bigdjiver
22nd-June-2005, 10:47 AM
Hello.
Russell in this essay argues that the causes of war are found in the economic interests of "certain sections" of society (by this he means the ruling capitalist class) and their search for profit and lack of longterm planning; economic reconstruction (removal of the class structure, wholedsale nationalisation and central planning in the interests of the wider population) preserves peace.(pp145-156 The Case For Socialism).
The other part of Socialism is the political:
"The political part requires that the ultimate political power should be democratic" p122."Marx himself, and practically all socialists before 1918. would have agreed tothis"...;..Unless there is popular control , there can no reason to expect the State to conduct its economic enterprises except foooor its own enrichment, and therefore exploitation will take a new form. Democracy, accordingly, must be accepted as part of the definition of a Socialist regime." (pp122-3 TCFS)
There is a need for temporary dictarship through the transition but this should not be viewed as the inevitable norm, as the West has identified it since the Bolsheviksdissolved the Russian Constituent Assembly.
Bib: IN PRAISE OF IDLENESS and other Essays, Geo Allen & UNwin Ltd, London.
1935.or: "The ultimate form of competition is war." (me)

Purple Sparkler
22nd-June-2005, 11:10 AM
Those who are late are always so much jollier than those who have to wait for them.

KatieR
22nd-June-2005, 08:43 PM
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things i can.

Lory
22nd-June-2005, 08:58 PM
If you can't be good :innocent: be careful :grin: and if you can't be careful :o be good at it !! :devil:
How was dancing after so long?


or alternatively

if you can't be good don't get caught :wink:Or........

If you can't be good, buy a pram! :sick: :rofl:

Gojive
22nd-June-2005, 09:15 PM
"It's better to have loved a dwarf, than to never have loved a tall"

:na:

Barry Shnikov
22nd-June-2005, 11:40 PM
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things i can.

'...and the wisdom to know the difference', is the conclusion.

Or how about: God grant me the intelligence to spot crackpot religions.

Barry Shnikov
22nd-June-2005, 11:46 PM
"The political part requires that the ultimate political power should be democratic" p122."Marx himself, and practically all socialists before 1918. would have agreed tothis"...;..Unless there is popular control , there can no reason to expect the State to conduct its economic enterprises except foooor its own enrichment, and therefore exploitation will take a new form. Democracy, accordingly, must be accepted as part of the definition of a Socialist regime."

Well, fair enough. But it doesn't help me with my difficulty; if there is democratic voting, how are you ever going to maintain the socialist principle of from each according to ability and to each according to need? The problem is that you need a whole bunch of people to stand back and decide what each person's need is, for example; that bunch of people are either going to be pols or they will be appointed by pols. X and Y are going to vote for the pols who are more likely to assess X and Y's need as being greater than are the pols they don't vote for. And so we're back to commercial interests ruling the roost, aren't we? Is that avoidable?