One dance or more

[RogerR]

I've just come back from a dance that failed to live up to expectations. I'd ask a woman for a dance and get firmly pushed away as soon as the track was about to end. So assuming she hadn't enjoyed it I rapidly ran out of partners and left early. Is one dance what you expect or......

[David Bailey]

I've just come back from a dance that failed to live up to expectations. I'd ask a woman for a dance and get firmly pushed away as soon as the track was about to end. So assuming she hadn't enjoyed it I rapidly ran out of partners and left early.
Well, that may be a little harsh on yourself - it might have been The Etiquette There, who knows. If you'd asked again the women you danced with before, they'd probably have said yes.


Is one dance what you expect
Yes, I think so. I ask someone for a dance, to me that's "the contract" - if I then want another, I'd specifically ask for another, I certainly don't assume another is available by default.

After one dance, my partner may be tired / thirsty, may not like the music in the next track, may have already promised another dance, may be easily bored etc. - it's certainly not something to take personally.

Just having one dance doesn't IMO mean much, one way or another - but the "pushing away" behaviour does sound strange, admittedly.

[RogerR]

Its not that there may be a local one dance etiquette or (implied) contract its that the termination of the one dance was a significant push away, no (implied ) thanks, no politess, just a blunt push. Add to that, the music was too BAD to call dire and I shall not venture there again. Possibly thats why there was a glorious floor, smooth and just slippy enough, and there was so much of it visible all night.

There's no opportunity to say "thanks, Maybe again later!" if your partner pushes you away just before the track ends.

[David Bailey]

Its not that there may be a local one dance etiquette or (implied) contract its that the termination of the one dance was a significant push away, no (implied ) thanks, no politess, just a blunt push.
Oo-er, that's very strange - don't think that's ever happened to me. Yuk; and you have my sympathies!

[MartinHarper]

The termination of the one dance was a significant push away.

I normally interpret that as an indication that I've spent more time in closed position than my partner would prefer, or that I've finished the dance in closed position when my partner would prefer to have finished it in open position.

If a single woman at a venue pushes me away at the end of a track, I don't normally interpret that as an indication that nobody in the room wants to dance with me ever again.

[bigdjiver]

I've just come back from a dance that failed to live up to expectations. I'd ask a woman for a dance and get firmly pushed away as soon as the track was about to end. So assuming she hadn't enjoyed it I rapidly ran out of partners and left early. Is one dance what you expect or...... :devil: Were there so few there that you managed to dance with all of them, or did you reject many of the ladies after 0 dances? :devil:

or did you dance around then try some again? If there is a shortage of men sometimes the ladies come to a "don't hog them" agreement.

[David Bailey]

:devil: Were there so few there that you managed to dance with all of them, or did you reject many of the ladies after 0 dances? :devil:
Hmmm, I assumed this was a "lots of ladies pushed me away" situation, rather than a single lady... Am I misreading this? Help...


If there is a shortage of men sometimes the ladies come to a "don't hog them" agreement.
It's a conspiracy, I tell you! The Stepford Dancers...

[RogerR]

Maybe I dont understand venusian! Two weeks ago I had a TXT mssg from a woman I found pleasant when we met weeks ago, inviting me to a dance the next evening, When I said yes she said she couldnt as her B/F wouldnt like it. Thinking in martian why did she ask if she couldnt?

[David Bailey]

Maybe I dont understand venusian! Two weeks ago I had a TXT mssg from a woman I found pleasant when we met weeks ago, inviting me to a dance the next evening, When I said yes she said she couldnt as her B/F wouldnt like it. Thinking in martian why did she ask if she couldnt?
Boy, there's a discussion route to avoid... I plead ignorance, seems weird to me too.