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View Full Version : Favourite Life Of Brian Quote .... or anything Pythonesque



Robin
5th-May-2005, 03:52 PM
Following on from here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5294)

I go for "Bigguth Dickuth"

I couldn;t stop laughing at that seen - had tears in my eyes !

CJ
5th-May-2005, 03:55 PM
"He's not the Messiah: he's a very naughty boy."

"Come back, it's only a flesh wound." (or something close)

Feelingpink
5th-May-2005, 03:58 PM
"Come back, it's only a flesh wound." (or something close)

"Come back. I'll bite your ankles"

drathzel
5th-May-2005, 04:10 PM
" No one expects the spanish inquisition" :rofl:

Divissima
5th-May-2005, 04:14 PM
Not Python, but equally surreal in the context of the film. I don't know why I find it so funny every time, but there it is... :blush:

'if you're really us, what number are we thinking of?'

'69, dudes!'

Rhythm King
5th-May-2005, 04:26 PM
Not Python, but equally surreal in the context of the film. I don't know why I find it so funny every time, but there it is... :blush:

'if you're really us, what number are we thinking of?'

'69, dudes!'

Excellent!

TheTramp
5th-May-2005, 04:27 PM
He's a king.
.
How can you tell?
.
He's not covered in sh1t

Rhythm King
5th-May-2005, 04:37 PM
"What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?"

snip percussive Latin grammar lesson snip

"Now write it out a hundred times by morning or I'll cut your balls off"

I learned Latin just like that at school :rofl:

Dreadful Scathe
5th-May-2005, 04:41 PM
"its not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any manufacturers of dairy produce" :D

Robin
5th-May-2005, 04:47 PM
"Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?"

"F%&# off! We're the People's Front of Judea!"

clevedonboy
5th-May-2005, 04:48 PM
"He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks."

Stuart
5th-May-2005, 05:16 PM
Welease Wodger!

Stuart
5th-May-2005, 05:17 PM
Following on from here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5294)

I go for "Bigguth Dickuth"

I couldn;t stop laughing at that seen - had tears in my eyes !

He wanks as high as any man in Wome

Simon r
6th-May-2005, 08:20 AM
ARTHUR


How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ...
can you tell me who lives in that castle?


OLD WOMAN
King of the WHO?

ARTHUR
The Britons.

OLD WOMAN

Who are the Britons?

ARTHUR


All of us are ... we are all Britons.


DENNIS winks at the OLD WOMAN.


... and I am your king ....


OLD WOMAN

Ooooh! I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were

an autonomous collective ...


DENNIS

You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship,

A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes ...

OLD WOMAN


There you are, bringing class into it again ...

DENNIS

That's what it's all about ... If only -

ARTHUR

Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in
that castle?
OLD WOMAN

No one live there.

ARTHUR

Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN

We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR

What?
DENNIS

I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take

it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR

Yes.
DENNIS

... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR

Yes, I see.
DENNIS

... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority
in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR

Be quiet!

DENNIS

... but a two-thirds majority ...


ARTHUR

Be quiet! I order you to shut up.


OLD WOMAN


Order, eh -- who does he think he is?


ARTHUR
I am your king!

OLD WOMAN

Well, I didn't vote for you.


ARTHUR

You don't vote for kings.

OLD WOMAN

Well, how did you become king, then?


ARTHUR

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,

held Excalibur aloft from the bosom of the water to signify by

Divine Providence ... that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur ...

That is why I am your king!

OLD WOMAN

Is Frank in? He'd be able to deal with this one

DENNIS

Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out
swords ... that's no basis for a system of government. Supreme
executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from
some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR

Be quiet!
DENNIS

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power


just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!


ARTHUR

Shut up!

DENNIS


I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some


moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would


put me away!
ARTHUR


(Grabbing him by the collar)


Shut up, will you. Shut up!

DENNIS


Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.


ARTHUR
Shut up!


PEOPLE (i.e. other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching.

DENNIS

(calling)


Come and see the violence inherent in the system.


Help, help, I'm being repressed!


ARTHUR


(aware that people are now coming out and watching)


Bloody peasant!


(pushes DENNIS over into mud and prepares to ride off)

David Bailey
6th-May-2005, 09:12 AM
On that vein, I love the "3 questions" scene:

---------------
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
---------------

Sparkles
6th-May-2005, 09:30 AM
Not LOB, but from my favourite Python sketch:
"If it hadn't been nailed to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies by now!"
:rofl:
S. x

CJ
6th-May-2005, 04:05 PM
"There are no women here, are there??"

Barry Shnikov
18th-May-2005, 07:51 PM
Basil and Manuel are staring at the wall where the door to the dining room used to be. The Major walks downstairs and stops next to them.

"Something wrong, Fawlty?"

"We appear to have lost the door to the dining room, Major."

The Major examines the wall in silence.

"So you have. Well, never mind; it's bound to turn up sooner or later!"

Exit Major.

Purple Sparkler
19th-May-2005, 10:00 AM
Have to say re Sparkles' quote, I prefer:

-If it wasn't nailed down it would muscle out of them bars and VOOM!
-VOOM? That parrot couldn't VOOM if you put 4,000 volts through it!

Love the three questions. But also:

"I wave my private parts at your aunties, you filthy English kerrrniggetts!"

And the one I've used most often at balls, parties etc...

"Ah, go on, it's only wafferrr thin!"

Stuart M
19th-May-2005, 10:31 AM
I'm not.

Purple Sparkler
19th-May-2005, 10:42 AM
I'm not.
:rofl:

Can also be used in a different context- when anyone asks "Are we all here?", it's an excellent answer if you're feeling flippant, as in the following example:

"Are we all here?"
"I'm not."
"Not what?"
"All here."

Clive Long
19th-May-2005, 11:19 AM
<< snip >>
"I wave my private parts at your aunties, you filthy English kerrrniggetts!"
<< Snip >>
:rofl: That whole scene
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-08.htm

One could just quote and quote but I will limit myself to
FRENCH GUARD:
I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King
and,
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
and,
(Fetchez la vache!)


Fawlty Towers
http://www.teenink.com/Past/1990/617.html
Manuel: "I say to man in shop, 'Is rat.' He say, 'No, no, is special kind of hamster. Is Filigree Siberian hamster. Only one in shop.' He make special price, only five pound".
Basil: "Have you ever heard of the bubonic plague, Manuel? It was very popular here at one time"

Finally:
Basil: "Seen my wife make toast Major?" (Breathes on to hand like dragon)

:tears: Tears of joy

El Salsero Gringo
19th-May-2005, 12:46 PM
Does anyone remember the Fish Licence sketch with this in it?

"I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady show jumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!"

Or the "I'd like an argument" sketch?

Clive Long
19th-May-2005, 02:42 PM
<< snip >>
Or the "I'd like an argument" sketch?
"five minutes, or the full half hour, sir?"

Dance Demon
19th-May-2005, 06:09 PM
Finally:
Basil: "Seen my wife make toast Major?" (Breathes on to hand like dragon)


Another Fawlty classic reply...

Sybil.......You're looking very happpy this morning Basil......
Basil.........Happy dear?.....yes!.. I think I remember that one.......