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Dreadful Scathe
27th-November-2002, 11:00 AM
Especially for the appreciation of Heather ...here are a list of hilarious actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Students Essays (in America I assume)

> Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
> other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
>
> His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
> alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
>
> He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,
> like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse
> without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes
> around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers
> of looking at a solar eclipse without one those boxes with
> a pinhole in it.
>
> She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> room-temperature Canadian beef.
>
> She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a
> dog makes just before it throws up.
>
> Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>
> He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
>
> The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
> because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
> surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
> < B R>> The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the
> way a bowling ball wouldn't.
>
> McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty
> bag filled with vegetable soup.
>
> From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had
> an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in
> another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>
> Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
>
> The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
> when you fry them in hot grease.
>
> Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
> across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains,
> one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the
> other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
>
> They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket
> fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
>
> John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
> who had also never met.
>
> He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she
> was the East River.
>
> Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap,
> only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
>
> Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
>
> The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
> Phil, this plan just might work.
>
> The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
> not eating for a while.
>
> "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a
> college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
>
> He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
> either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from
> stepping on a land mine or something.
>
> The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila
> Jackson Lee (D-Tex.)in her first several points of parliamentary
> procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary
> Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William
> Jefferson Clinton.
>
> The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
> slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
>
> It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
> around with power tools.
>
> He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
> bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
>
> She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
>
> Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to
> put in any pH cleanser.
>
> She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
>
> Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation
> thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
>
> It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
> staple it to the wall.

Heather
27th-November-2002, 08:10 PM
:D :D :D :D :D Thanks Scathe, that fair cheered me up after a tough day with' The Legions of Hell ' ( primary 7).
:cheers:
Heather,
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

CJ
28th-November-2002, 02:12 AM
Originally posted by Heather
:D :D :D :D :D Thanks Scathe, that fair cheered me up after a tough day with' The Legions of Hell ' ( primary 7).
:cheers:
Heather,
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

Em, Miss, Miss,

Should that not be:

...day with, 'The Legions of Hell,' (Primary 7).

??????

Heather
28th-November-2002, 07:30 PM
:D :D :D OK, you are correct, but I was trying to see through the tears of laughter streaming down my face, at the time!!!
:cheers:
Heather,
:kiss: :kiss:
P.S Glad to see I'm keeping you all on your toes, with regard to spelling and grammar!!!!