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David Bailey
1st-May-2005, 09:20 PM
I'm particularly poor at remembering names, so I often find myself dancing with a regular partner, but not being able to remember her name.

Sometimes, this is because I haven't asked - but mostly, I did ask, way back, but have forgotten. I feel guilty about it, but I really don't want to look like a thoughtless fool by asking again.

So:
- is this just me?
- Any tips / tricks I could use to improve my memory?
- Or if you're dance acquaintances, not friends, does this really matter?

djtrev
1st-May-2005, 09:32 PM
It's definately not just you David.I have the same trouble.
I am very good at remembering faces but not names.

Lynn
1st-May-2005, 09:35 PM
I'm particularly poor at remembering names, so I often find myself dancing with a regular partner, but not being able to remember her name.

Sometimes, this is because I haven't asked - but mostly, I did ask, way back, but have forgotten. I feel guilty about it, but I really don't want to look like a thoughtless fool by asking again.

So:
- is this just me?
- Any tips / tricks I could use to improve my memory?
- Or if you're dance acquaintances, not friends, does this really matter? I'm really bad with names as well. I find there are two levels of forgetting names - firstly - the name hasn't made it into your longer term memory - I remember once hearing that you have to hear a name about 6 (?) times to do this - so perhaps using the persons name when you are first told it would help? (Would be better than being caught muttering some woman's name under your breath several times, they might start to worry that you were a stalker :rofl: )

I remember on holiday meeting a lot of new people on the first day and then later talking to them but couldn't remember their name! I hate it as it makes people think I wasn't listening - when I can remember everything else they have told me, where they are from, what they do for a living, what they were wearing earlier etc, its just the names that vanish from my mind.

The other situation is when the name is there but you can't recall it. Happens with other things as well as names - I think that's just age :tears:

If someone forgot my name, but remembered when/where they last danced with me I wouldn't mind, but I think it is better to try and remember names and if you are like me, and find that difficult to do automatically, then you just have to work at it.

Clive Long
1st-May-2005, 10:11 PM
I'm particularly poor at remembering names, so I often find myself dancing with a regular partner, but not being able to remember her name.

Sometimes, this is because I haven't asked - but mostly, I did ask, way back, but have forgotten. I feel guilty about it, but I really don't want to look like a thoughtless fool by asking again.

So:
- is this just me?
- Any tips / tricks I could use to improve my memory?
- Or if you're dance acquaintances, not friends, does this really matter?
You are not alone.

However, bad you are at remembering names I'm sure I'm worse.

The only tricks I have used:

Pay attention when she gives her name: Sounds simple - but I'm normally thinking about getting on with the dance.

Association: I tried linking the woman's appearance to a piece of fruit or soemthing. Carmen was easy and I have never forgetten her name. Never met a lemon. I also remember Angel's name, but she was wearing wings when I first met her (maybe she extract the Michael, no?) . Julie will always be Juliette leaning from a balcony. etc.

Repetition or "Pin the name on the lady": This is a salesman trick I am told. Talk to your partner and use her name. It's a bit "stilted" when you say, "So, Angela, blah, blah, burble, burble." but it might work.

When we meet again: Explain to your partner you would like to remember her name but you are dreadful at remembering. So ask her to introduce herself with her name next time you dance until you get her name first.

Owning up: Go red and say "I'm terribly sorry .... " you get the rest.

Does it matter? Weeeelll , I think it does, especially when she remembers your name instantly.

Girls, should a chap ask your name before starting to dance?
Do you ever introduce yourself "unsolicitied"?

CRL

Northants Girly
1st-May-2005, 10:57 PM
It's not a problem for Northampton girls as all the guys here are either called Paul, Chris, Richard, Steve or Brian :na:



Girls, should a chap ask your name before starting to dance?Oh goodness NO! Just dance! :D


Do you ever introduce yourself "unsolicitied"?You what? :whistle:

jivecat
2nd-May-2005, 10:24 AM
It's not a problem for Northampton girls as all the guys here are either called Paul, Chris, Richard, Steve or Brian :na:






In Leicester, they're all called Dave or Brian.

I think it's fairly normal to not pick a name up when you are first introduced, especially if there are several names involved. If I can't remember it, I just apologise, and ask again at some point in the conversation.

It gets more difficult if I forget the names of people who I have known the name of perfectly well for several years. :blush: This is starting to happen much more often, I should have taken better care of those brain cells while I still had the chance. :tears:

If it's a Ceroc name, I ask someone else who I think will know to remind me of the name, and hope they don't tell on me!

David Bailey
2nd-May-2005, 10:47 AM
Thanks for all the tips, I shall try them out on an unsuspecting world.

Another thing with exchanging names - this seems to be quite intimate, or is that just me?

It's not something we do often, so it seems like a "signal" in some way if you ask someone's name; you're saying you care enough to assign a label to that person, even if, in my case, I then forget it a few seconds later. Is name-exchanging the equivalent of a chat-up line in MJ? Or am I reading way too much into all this, and should I get out more....? :)



If it's a Ceroc name, I ask someone else who I think will know to remind me of the name, and hope they don't tell on me!
:confused: What's a Ceroc name? Do you mean a move name? Or is there some secret codename people use? Blimey, I can't even remember real names, :worthy: if you can remember secret identities as well :)

Jazz_Shoes (Ash)
2nd-May-2005, 12:06 PM
Another thing with exchanging names - this seems to be quite intimate, or is that just me?

It's not something we do often, so it seems like a "signal" in some way if you ask someone's name; you're saying you care enough to assign a label to that person, even if, in my case, I then forget it a few seconds later. Is name-exchanging the equivalent of a chat-up line in MJ? Or am I reading way too much into all this, and should I get out more....? :)
I've never thought about it that way before......so in my opinion you are reading too much into it, but I don't know about anyone else? :what:
Also-i'm sure you get out plenty, after all you need to leave the house to go to MJ don't you? :wink:

:hug:

jivecat
2nd-May-2005, 03:58 PM
It's not something we do often, so it seems like a "signal" in some way if you ask someone's name; you're saying you care enough to assign a label to that person, even if, in my case, I then forget it a few seconds later. Is name-exchanging the equivalent of a chat-up line in MJ? Or am I reading way too much into all this, and should I get out more....? :)

Oh God, I hope not. I would be a bit p***d off if it wasn't possible to exchange a few civil words with someone without them assuming there was some kind of ulterior motive.


:confused: What's a Ceroc name? Do you mean a move name? Or is there some secret codename people use? Blimey, I can't even remember real names, :worthy: if you can remember secret identities as well :)

Sorry, sloppy writing. (Mindful now of your professional status with regard to this!) What I meant was "a name of a Ceroc acquaintance". Although, I suppose, I would do exactly the same thing with non-Ceroc acquaintances. There can't be many social situations where one might be required to meet so many new people so quickly as on a MJ night, though.

I quite like to find out people's names, as it's part of the progression from stranger to dance partner to aquaintance to maybe, friend, but I'm also quite happy to enjoy 3 minutes of scorching intimacy (if I'm lucky!) on the dance floor with ever needing to know someone's name, or ever meet them again. It's all part of the bizarre charm of Ceroc, in my view!

El Salsero Gringo
2nd-May-2005, 04:30 PM
3 minutes of scorching intimacy (if I'm lucky!) on the dance floor with ever needing to know someone's name, or ever meet them again.Ahhh... the perfect "zipless dance".

Is there a special word or phrase to describe trawling venues that one doesn't normally frequent in search of these?

MartinHarper
2nd-May-2005, 07:28 PM
Owning up: Go red and say "I'm terribly sorry .... " you get the rest.

Well, I would do that, but I forget them too often to credibly pretend to be "terribly sorry". My memory doesn't work with names and faces. If that makes folks cross... oh well.

Captain Fantastic
2nd-May-2005, 07:58 PM
I also find remembering names hard. But also find it quite easy to remember the name of someone I find very interesting. So I've come up with a cunning plan. I don't bother asking for anyone’s name until I've had a good conversation with them. That way I've got to know the person I'm associating a name with. Remembering things is easy if you have something to anchor it too, in James’s case this is a fruit and if you know little about the person you’ve got to make up the anchor in just that way.

The American Indians have got this nailed down with there naming methods. You simply don't have a name until you've done something to acquire it. Hence "Dances with wolfs", and "stand with fist". Once you know why they are call so, you'll never need to try and remember, you couldn't forget.

I don't ask for someone’s name unless I need to know it. Then when I do ask, I’m asking for a reason other than, ‘out of interest what’s your name?’

I’d prefer to know someone without knowing their name than know their name without knowing them.

I suppose it’s easier for men as we don’t have to gossip about people. :wink:

David Bailey
2nd-May-2005, 08:02 PM
Ahhh... the perfect "zipless dance".

Is there a special word or phrase to describe trawling venues that one doesn't normally frequent in search of these?
"Sharking", I believe, from the FAQ (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3458&page=1#what).

Gotta love a man who put that much effort into his HTML :worthy:

baldrick
2nd-May-2005, 09:56 PM
"sorry but I'm one of the guys who's bad with names. I've asked before and will ask again.... whats your name?"

I do this after wittnessing the wrath of my mum against a guy who asked her name, and then confidantly got it wrong for the next few hours :sick:

jivecat
3rd-May-2005, 07:50 AM
[QUOTE=DavidJames]"Sharking", I believe, from the FAQ (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3458&page=1#what).

No, no, no. This definition implies there's some kind of overt sexual motive, whereas a dance is just a dance, zipless or not!

David Bailey
3rd-May-2005, 08:11 AM
No, no, no. This definition implies there's some kind of overt sexual motive, whereas a dance is just a dance, zipless or not!
To quote a bowl of petunias: "Oh no, not again"

I believe there are entire threads devoted to topics such as "is a dance just a dance" (can't provide a HarperLink this early in the morning...)

I guess I just misinterpreted "3 minutes of scorching intimacy" and "the perfect "zipless dance"."... :)

El Salsero Gringo
3rd-May-2005, 08:36 AM
I guess I just misinterpreted "3 minutes of scorching intimacy" and "the perfect "zipless dance"."... :)Just to be clear, I had in mind the search of away-venues for (just) the perfect stranger-dance, NOT the search of away-venues for something to warm ones bed after, I can think of plenty of names for that!

Mary
3rd-May-2005, 10:48 AM
I don't normally 'do' names - memory of a goldfish, but at least I am always meeting new people!! :wink:

And '3 minutes of scorching intimacy' with a total stranger......had lots of those at the Champs after the prize-giving/results. I was, in fact, looking for a dance with the omnipotent Franck, but was continually whisked around the floor by one stranger after another, and each one was sublime - names would have just broken the spell. :yum:

M

bigdjiver
3rd-May-2005, 01:43 PM
The techinique applied by an ex-sailor friend of mine is to give the ladies a nickname, based on some personal attribute, ( a bit like the Indians) and use that.

e.g. along the lines of:

She gives a cutting rejection - "Ouch, you have thorns, but I'll wait to see you blossom, rosebud."
"Wow, you are a beauty, and with promise of more to come, my little rosebud."
"You are a fresh little flower, a little rosebud."

You get the idea, whatever the association the lady ends up with the same nickname, and there is no danger of forgetting it, or of muttering the wrong one in your sleep.

(Rosebud was a made up example - I am keeping the actual name and lines to myself)

David Bailey
3rd-May-2005, 01:53 PM
I'll probably get laughed at for uber-nerdiness, but in addition to the above suggestions, I've sometimes considered writing people's names down (plus brief description). I haven't done it, but has anyone tried that?

OK, I know, it's sad - but at least it shows I'm thinking of people, does that count for something? :blush:

David, trying desparately to avoid the Rosebud Route...

Graham
3rd-May-2005, 02:55 PM
I'll probably get laughed at for uber-nerdiness, but in addition to the above suggestions, I've sometimes considered writing people's names down (plus brief description). I haven't done it, but has anyone tried that?
Don't know anyone who's done this, but if you try it be VERY CAREFUL where you leave your notes.



.
.
Liz - brunette hotty
Molly - big hooters
Carol - staring eyes and buck teeth
Alice - blue eyes, nice smile
Brenda - blonde, bad breath
.
.

David Bailey
3rd-May-2005, 03:03 PM
Don't know anyone who's done this, but if you try it be VERY CAREFUL where you leave your notes.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

OK, good point, hadn't thought about that...!

Trish
3rd-May-2005, 03:07 PM
I quite like to find out people's names, as it's part of the progression from stranger to dance partner to aquaintance to maybe, friend, but I'm also quite happy to enjoy 3 minutes of scorching intimacy (if I'm lucky!) on the dance floor with ever needing to know someone's name, or ever meet them again. It's all part of the bizarre charm of Ceroc, in my view!

:yeah:

Excellent description - I'll be looking for some of these 3 minutes at Camber! And before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm happily married thanks!

stewart38
3rd-May-2005, 03:47 PM
You are not alone.

However, bad you are at remembering names I'm sure I'm worse.


[RL


No I have to be the worst.

Its even worse when they remember your name and you cant even remember where you have danced with them before :sad:

Trish
3rd-May-2005, 04:33 PM
I think I can take the prize for one of the worst at least. There's a guy at Peterborough who I thought for about 2 years was called Dave :confused: , then he became a taxi dancer and I found out his name was Kevin. The worst of it was I was so convinced that I said something to him about them getting his name wrong :eek: :blush: ! Goodness only knows what he thinks I'm like - I'll never forget his name now though! :wink:

stewart38
3rd-May-2005, 04:38 PM
I think I can take the prize for one of the worst at least. There's a guy at Peterborough who I thought for about 2 years was called Dave :confused: , then he became a taxi dancer and I found out his name was Kevin. The worst of it was I was so convinced that I said something to him about them getting his name wrong :eek: :blush: ! Goodness only knows what he thinks I'm like - I'll never forget his name now though! :wink:

I think your referring to me and my name is John :whistle:

Seriously ive dance with someone on and off for 5yrs and she has a really long name (more then 6 letters) can I remember it ?? na

I dont think my memory over all is bad so maybe its for reasons mentioned in Thread. Ill try some association.

Chicklet
3rd-May-2005, 04:49 PM
just curious.....do the names of the particularly aesthetically delightful ladies/gents stick??? and / or, do unusual names stick??

Lory
3rd-May-2005, 06:04 PM
I'm pretty good at remembering peoples names and faces BUT, there are a small number of people who's names just wont stick in my head and if I've had the problem with a particular person once, then I always have it!

Maybe subconsciously I don't think their name suits them and think they should be called something else :confused:

Forum names are so easy though, we learn them in the opposite way from 'normal life'! In normal life we meet someone and subconsciously make up our mind if it will be important or advantageous to us to remember their names or not, then find out their name ........ On here, we know the name first, then all we have to do is match the face! ;)

The problem comes, when they're called something different in real life! :really: :sick:

I for one, really appreciate it when someone remembers my name and they instantly go up in my estimation :)

ducasi
3rd-May-2005, 06:15 PM
So-far I'm surprised how well I'm doing at remembering names. I'm normally useless and I thought I'd have a much bigger problem in dances classes than elsewhere, just because of the number of people and how little time you have to talk.

I think though that because I'm in a learning mode and with all the chemicals pumping round my head, things just work better.

My normal problem is I recognise a face, but I'm never sure from where. Last week I recognised my optician but though she might be my dentist!

just curious.....do the names of the particularly aesthetically delightful ladies/gents stick??? and / or, do unusual names stick?? I'm certainly more likely to want to remember their names. :wink:

I've found though that I'm not aesthetically biased here – though maybe I'm more likely to introduce myself to some people rather than others. That said, I think most introductions so-far have been the other way around.

I do have more trouble with the more unusual names – then you've got the problem of remember the name as well as who it belongs too! :blush:

Whitebeard
3rd-May-2005, 08:05 PM
Its even worse when they remember your name and you cant even remember where you have danced with them before ....
It can be disconcerting when a partner addresses me by name and I'm pretty sure we've never exchanged names.





I suppose it’s easier for men as we don’t have to gossip about people.
Is that how it comes about ??

Rhythm King
4th-May-2005, 10:38 AM
It can be disconcerting when a partner addresses me by name and I'm pretty sure we've never exchanged names.




:yeah:

I was a taxi dancer for a couple of years in the Ceroc Central region. Even now, several years later, people turn up in London and came and say hello to me by name, leaving me floundering for some remembrance. Sometimes the penny drops and sometimes, I just have to be honest, admit defeat and apologise.

R-K

Winnie
6th-May-2005, 11:15 PM
I usually repeat the person's name three times to myself, and then try to incorporate his or her name in the conversations when addressing that person.

Alternatively, names on tops or necklaces could help but that will just be giving it away - no air of mystery. :flower: