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Lory
7th-December-2004, 05:03 PM
A few festive cartoons! :na:

Lory
7th-December-2004, 05:06 PM
More..... :na:

Bigger Andy
8th-December-2004, 02:04 PM
Variation on a theme ...

xSalsa_Angelx
8th-December-2004, 05:24 PM
Try these..!!

Lory
13th-December-2004, 10:38 AM
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you
must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass
through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

He shook them and said, "They're bells" .
Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And
just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols". :o :blush:

philsmove
14th-December-2004, 12:48 AM
Ho Ho Ho


http://www.publicis.dk/julekort/julekort_uk.swf

Trousers
14th-December-2004, 11:55 AM
This is amusing

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1209304.html

philsmove
17th-December-2004, 12:22 AM
Christmas Gifts with a Difference from Amazon

Treat yourself or someone special to a great experience--choose from a wide range of activities and days out, including a Relaxing Spa Day.
New & Used from £99.00
What do with a used Spa Day :confused:

Lory
17th-December-2004, 11:15 AM
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the
stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from
humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets
groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six
months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He
opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbour from forty miles up the road...Having a
Christmas party Friday night...Thought you might like to come. About
5:00."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some

local folks. Thank you." :)

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some
drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I
can drink with the best of 'em." :D

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More n' likely gonna be
some fightin' too."

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks
again." ;)

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. :yum:

"I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the
way, what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want. Only gonna be the two of us." :what:

Pammy
17th-December-2004, 12:29 PM
Something really horrible... :tears:

http://www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas/

under par
17th-December-2004, 01:15 PM
Something really horrible... :tears:

http://www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas/


Pammy I am quite shocked you even look at disgusting things like this.


let alone know where to find it!! :flower:


(that should get a few more looking eh!)

Dazzle
17th-December-2004, 01:55 PM
At my youngest child's school Christmas Nativity this week, chaos erupted when the following took place;

One young boy who had set his heart on being Joseph was passed over for the part and cast as the Inn Keeper instead. He was infatuated by the young girl who played Mary and held something of a grudge against the young boy who had "stolen" his role.

In the Nativity, at the point where Joseph asked if there was any room at the inn, the Inn Keeper replied,

"She can come in but you can f**k off!"

Insurance premiums could well be rising to pay for the number of dropped camera claims! My cheeks are still sore from laughing! :rofl:

Dazzle
18th-December-2004, 05:27 PM
A few more pics for Xmas giggles!

Graham
18th-December-2004, 05:54 PM
:rofl: The headstone one is priceless!

drathzel
18th-December-2004, 09:01 PM
i was sent these photos!!!

drathzel
18th-December-2004, 09:08 PM
and these!!

drathzel
18th-December-2004, 09:10 PM
one last one

Lory
19th-December-2004, 11:48 PM
A couple more to add! :na:

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-December-2004, 04:05 PM
Here I was trying to get across the valley to get home for Xmas.....

DavidB
23rd-December-2004, 04:32 PM
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.

Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh?

Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.

You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' d ahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

Wicked!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

David Franklin
23rd-December-2004, 04:41 PM
Following in the same vein: http://www.jengajam.com/r/Chav-Aid-Ani...

Dave

Rhythm King
24th-December-2004, 01:09 PM
Find out where Santa is, courtesy of North American Air Defence Command (NORAD) here (http://www.noradsanta.org/english/)

I have a funny powerpoint presentation too, but it's not a recognised file type for forum attachments. Any ideas how to post it?

R-K

BigGeorge
24th-December-2004, 04:49 PM
This'll upset the kids