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Magic Hans
23rd-November-2004, 09:04 PM
... I tried to move so smoothly through my actions that these women would feel inclined to imitate ...

There are certain aspects of a partner that attracts me back to dance with them again in this (rough) order: Keeping time, self-expression, follow ability, can match style, pretty.

Recently, I've noticed something that something that detracts from the enjoyment of my dancing experience. It's only 3 or 4 girls who seemingly immitate (sometime exagerating) how I use my body (or express) sometimes in anticipation. Funnily enough I think that I prefer someone to laugh at me! [maybe I have a serious psychological disorder!]

I'd love to know what the motive is, because I am clueless. I assume that they are not mocking me.

All 3 or 4 are 45+ (maybe 50+). And some have been dancing for more that a year. Maybe I'm being intolerant, looking for an excuse because I am discriminating on looks, or think that they are after something that I am not.

My reaction? To dance more to the music for myself, and less with them; and to note them for future reference.

I am alone? Anyone else get this feeling? Anyone on the other side who "immitates" (in my words)? Am I some ego-obsessed raving hotshot? Do I need a therapist? Or would being put down be kinder?

Pray tell!

Ian

Daisy Chain
23rd-November-2004, 10:11 PM
There are certain aspects of a partner that attracts me back to dance with them again in this (rough) order: Keeping time, self-expression, follow ability, can match style, pretty.



I'm in there then. I can do the first four items on your list.... :blush:

Daisy

(A Plain Little Flower)

Lou
24th-November-2004, 12:24 AM
I dunno exactly what you mean by imitating, I'm afraid. But I wonder if it's something as simply innocent as trying to match your style? :flower:

Trousers
24th-November-2004, 04:11 AM
Magic as you quote me without naming me I feel obliged to chuck in my two peneth.

The imitation i was seeking from my post was one of dancing in a smooth manner without weird movements. It's all down to learning ya own style i suppose but sometimes style is given to much weight. Could flair be a better word? Would adding Flair be achieved more easily than dancing with STYLE??

Anyhow this is your post ......... Post Away

MartinHarper
24th-November-2004, 12:45 PM
So... you like girls who follow and match style, but you don't like girls who imitate how you use your body. Isn't imitating how your partner uses their body part of following and matching style? I'm afraid I'm a little confused...

Trish
24th-November-2004, 02:39 PM
There are certain aspects of a partner that attracts me back to dance with them again in this (rough) order: Keeping time, self-expression, follow ability, can match style, pretty.


I would guess these women who are imitating you are simply trying to match your style. Some people do this well, while others look like they're exaggerating, and almost caricature things. Could it be that they like what you're doing with your body, so they think they'll join in, but just don't do it very expertly, making you feel uncomfortable. I'd say don't worry about it, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that.

Magic Hans
24th-November-2004, 06:56 PM
Magic as you quote me without naming me I feel obliged to chuck in my two peneth. The imitation i was seeking from my post was one of dancing in a smooth manner without weird movements.
...

Okay, first of all, apologies to you Trousers .... I've kind of taken your quote out of context :blush: :blush: .... I saw the word "immitation", and leapt all over it! [Maybe it is my weird movements .... that get immitated, that is!]




...
Anyhow this is your post ......... Post Away

Nooooo!!! Not my post (or thread .... damn terminology!)!!! As with my posts in other threads, they are given freely for consideration and discussion!

Thank you Trish for figuring out what I was getting at. :clap: :clap:

By way of explanation:

Ever copied anyone exactly? They say something, I repeat in the same manner (tone of voice, etc). They cross their legs, I cross the same way. They scratch their nose, I scratch with the same hand ... etc, etc, etc all immediately and very obviously. How long before annoyance creeps in??? Probably less than a minute or two for me.

Ever (subtlely) mirrored someone? They lean forwards, I (after a short pause), edge forward a little. They say something, I respond altering my tonality, tempo, timbre towards theirs. Get my drift? Not totally obvious changes, in order to gain rapport.

Similarly, if someone tries to be me with their body, I don't feel wonderfully comfortable, immitation being the sincerest form of flattery or no. :angry:

However, when my partner throws in one or two little decorations (or moves in such a way) that fit the music and match .... or should I say complement how I am moving .... magic happens!! :hug: :hug:

Any clearer? Am I still on my own!! :tears: :tears: :tears:
Do I still need a good therapist? :( or a bad one! :devil:

Ian

Trish
25th-November-2004, 12:37 PM
Any clearer? Am I still on my own!! :tears: :tears: :tears:
Do I still need a good therapist? :( or a bad one! :devil:

Ian

Glad to be of service! I think we understand you now. Unfortunately I don't know there's much you can do to solve the problem! Short of turning round to the girl in question and telling her to pack it in - which probably wouldn't get the best response! :eek: I guess the only other thing you could do is to get into a discussion on the subject of dance styles with her, and say to her how much you like women to have their own style and be unique - might be a bit too subtle though!

There is a big difference between subconciously shadowing someone's movements (which people tend to do when they get on really well with someone), and imitating them, although if it's done really well it can be hard to tell the difference. I hate to say it (as you don't seem terribly keen on this lady) but perhaps she fancies you?!

Hope you get it sorted out! :flower:

Trish

drathzel
25th-November-2004, 01:08 PM
Any clearer? Am I still on my own!! :tears: :tears: :tears:
Do I still need a good therapist? :( or a bad one! :devil:

Ian
A bad one!!!! :wink:

Sometimes the women has to change her style because of the man she is dancing with and if you say these women have been dancing for a while and are slightly older, maybe this is what they are used to doing, keep a wee eye out when they are dancing with others and see if they do the same, if it is just you then either they are taking the mikey or they are responding to your lead that way. Why don't you ask them! I am assuming that you venue is like mine when i say this, as i could go up to anyone i dance with at either venue and ask them and most would be willing to talk to me about my dancing!

MartinHarper
25th-November-2004, 02:24 PM
Well, if you lead moves where the boy and girl are doing totally different things, she'll find it rather harder to copy you exactly.