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philsmove
20th-November-2004, 10:47 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “

The other is “warning thieves operate in the area “ does any one know of an area were thieves do not operate

There, that’s got that off my chest

Trousers
20th-November-2004, 11:12 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “

The other is “warning thieves operate in the area “ does any one know of an area were thieves do not operate

There, that’s got that off my chest

"SPEED KILLS"

What twaddle we all know it's sudden and abrupt deceleration that gets you!

Graham
20th-November-2004, 11:17 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “
To be fair, if there's a "cyclists dismount" sign, it's usually in an area where motor vehicles aren't allowed either.

SilverFox
20th-November-2004, 11:33 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.”
Cyclists reading and obeying signs....you'll be telling me they stop at red lights next. :rofl: :rofl:

Missy D
20th-November-2004, 11:49 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “

The other is “warning thieves operate in the area “ does any one know of an area were thieves do not operate

There, that’s got that off my chest

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

philsmove
20th-November-2004, 11:54 AM
To be fair, if there's a "cyclists dismount" sign, it's usually in an area where motor vehicles aren't allowed either.

No they often appear at the end of a cycle lanes on main roads

You are meant to walk along the pavement until you join the next cycle lane miles away

Sparkles
20th-November-2004, 12:11 PM
It's illegal to cycle along the pavement you know... :whistle:

philsmove
20th-November-2004, 12:25 PM
Cyclists reading and obeying signs....you'll be telling me they stop at red lights next. :rofl: :rofl:

And Car drivers always stop

http://poetry.rotten.com/redlight/

Missy D
20th-November-2004, 03:29 PM
A sign that has just made :angry: me so cross is the one on the back of this lorry that said "hows my driving" he drove like a complete twat and was in front of me. So what am i supposed to do call this number? Does anyone call these numbers?

Daisy Chain
20th-November-2004, 04:45 PM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “


There, that’s got that off my chest


It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.

I really must get some stickers made to paste over the top saying "Therefore, my driving will be truly appalling" If this is not true, why do I need to know that they have a baby? Why should the contents of their car affect my driving? :confused: Unless they are carrying Semtex, Gelignite or other Big Bangers...

Daisy

(An Irritated Little Flower)

Lynn
20th-November-2004, 07:00 PM
A sign that has just made :angry: me so cross is the one on the back of this lorry that said "hows my driving" he drove like a complete twat and was in front of me. So what am i supposed to do call this number? Does anyone call these numbers? I've wondered that too. And are you supposed to try to memorise the number, or write it down while driving/call from your mobile while driving...and get pulled over by police! I would have thought it was supposed to act as some sort of encouragement to the driver of the vehicle to drive carefully, but clearly doesn't work!

Stuart
20th-November-2004, 07:27 PM
It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.

I really must get some stickers made to paste over the top saying "Therefore, my driving will be truly appalling" If this is not true, why do I need to know that they have a baby? Why should the contents of their car affect my driving? :confused: Unless they are carrying Semtex, Gelignite or other Big Bangers...

Daisy

(An Irritated Little Flower)

I saw one of these in some 4 x 4 as I was going to work the other morning, where the driver just pulled out into traffic without looking. Goodness knows how the driver didn't hit anything!

Nick M
21st-November-2004, 02:33 PM
A sign that has just made :angry: me so cross is the one on the back of this lorry that said "hows my driving" he drove like a complete twat and was in front of me. So what am i supposed to do call this number? Does anyone call these numbers?

A friend of mine did just that, and called the number to complain.

The woman at the other end of the phone said "Yeah? And what am I supposed to do about it?"

MartinHarper
21st-November-2004, 06:33 PM
/vote for "How's my dancing?" T-shirt...

Minnie M
21st-November-2004, 07:09 PM
/vote for "How's my dancing?" T-shirt...

Could be dangerous grounds for some people :whistle: (eg: remember the original status of Black & White Shoes :whistle: :rofl: :rofl: )

Dance Demon
21st-November-2004, 07:31 PM
/vote for "How's my dancing?" T-shirt...

How about a "How's my personal hygiene" T-shirt............only to get good feedback you'd have to have loads of dry ones:D

baldrick
22nd-November-2004, 12:39 PM
Those big electronic signs
"Drive carefuly"
Why does the next one never say
"Go on. Please" :confused:

Magic Hans
22nd-November-2004, 12:54 PM
"Falling Rocks" sign!

Errrrr ok ...... what now then!

Do I try to dodge the falling rocks?

Keep on looking up??

Take down my soft top so I have a better view of what's going to hit me?

Stuart M
22nd-November-2004, 01:13 PM
Those big electronic signs
"Drive carefuly"
Why does the next one never say
"Go on. Please" :confused:
Funnily enough, when driving in Ireland I actually saw something like this!

On a fairly steep switchback road down into one of the South coast villages (Clonakilty I think), there's a standard "SLOW" sign painted on the road. 200 yards further on, the word "SLOWER" has been painted :grin: .

ElaineB
22nd-November-2004, 01:15 PM
It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.

I really must get some stickers made to paste over the top saying "Therefore, my driving will be truly appalling" If this is not true, why do I need to know that they have a baby? Why should the contents of their car affect my driving? :confused: Unless they are carrying Semtex, Gelignite or other Big Bangers...

Daisy

(An Irritated Little Flower)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

The baby on board sign is to warn you that the driver may alarmingly disappear on the floor to retrieve the bottle of milk/dummy whatever. It is not meant to be a sign that they have been clever/daft enough to procreate - just that they are more likely to cause an accident! :rofl:


Elaine

David Franklin
22nd-November-2004, 01:19 PM
It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.
I heard of a huge articulated lorry, heavily laden with breeze blocks. The driver had added a sign:

"No baby on board. Take your best shot..."

Dave

ToeTrampler
22nd-November-2004, 01:29 PM
Those speed sensitive electronic signs that flash "Slow Down" as you approach them. :blush:
If I had time to slow down then I wouldn't be driving so fast :whistle:

Bigger Andy
22nd-November-2004, 01:59 PM
It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.

I really must get some stickers made to paste over the top saying "Therefore, my driving will be truly appalling" If this is not true, why do I need to know that they have a baby? Why should the contents of their car affect my driving? :confused: Unless they are carrying Semtex, Gelignite or other Big Bangers...

Daisy

(An Irritated Little Flower)

:devil: I thought that these "Baby on Board" signs were advertising the virility of the driver ?!?!? :whistle:

ToeTrampler
22nd-November-2004, 02:50 PM
:devil: I thought that these "Baby on Board" signs were advertising the virility of the driver ?!?!? :whistle:

Sadly, more often than not, they are advertising the mentality of the driver

Graham
22nd-November-2004, 04:47 PM
I believe the original function of the sign was to alert emergency services in the event of a serious accident that in addition to the visible passengers there may be a baby trapped in the car. However I'm convinced that's not why people put them in their cars. The fact they always put them on the rear window suggests to me that they're demanding that you take more care when driving near/past them, because of their precious cargo. "Well I was going to ram you and knock you into the path of that oncoming HGV, but aww, you've got an ickle baby, so I'll pick someone else." :rolleyes:

Stuart
22nd-November-2004, 05:55 PM
Just outside Cirencester there's a road sign that says 30mph, and another one painted in the road which says 40mph. I usually compromise and go at 35mph!

baldrick
22nd-November-2004, 07:19 PM
Those speed sensitive electronic signs that flash "Slow Down" as you approach them. :blush:
If I had time to slow down then I wouldn't be driving so fast :whistle:
Funily enough I some times give in to temptation and speed up just to see the pretty lights flash. :blush:

ToeTrampler
22nd-November-2004, 09:10 PM
Funily enough I some times give in to temptation and speed up just to see the pretty lights flash. :blush:

And that's not easy on a bicycle :wink:

baldrick
22nd-November-2004, 09:13 PM
And that's not easy on a bicycle :wink:
Nice thought. Did once get round of applause from 3 cops at speed trap that I nearly got 30mph at. Seemd impressed that I was daft enough to try.

philsmove
22nd-November-2004, 10:39 PM
And that's not easy on a bicycle :wink:


I seem to remember, the entire "tour de france" being booked for speeding

DangerousCurves
22nd-November-2004, 11:02 PM
A sign that has just made :angry: me so cross is the one on the back of this lorry that said "hows my driving" he drove like a complete twat and was in front of me. So what am i supposed to do call this number? Does anyone call these numbers?

Having been cut up, almost driven off the road, and then treated to a cacophony of horn blowing and verbal abuse by one van driver, my passenger and I were delighted to see one of these signs on the back of his van. We called it, gave his boss his vehicle registration number, and a physical description of the offender. "What's the idiot doing right now? " asked his furious employer. "Giving us the w*nker sign with BOTH HANDS out of the passenger window" my passenger was only too delighted to be able to reply......

Still, my favourite road sign of all time must be "Humped Zebra Crossing Ahead"! :really:

CJ
23rd-November-2004, 12:25 AM
I seem to remember, the entire "tour de france" being booked for speeding

later tests found they were steroiding, instead tho...

Gadget
23rd-November-2004, 02:43 PM
Those big electronic signs
"Drive carefuly"
Why does the next one never say
"Go on. Please" :confused:
The ones I laugh at are "Don't take drugs and drive" - not the message, but the fact that heading down to glasgow, there are half a dozen large signs like that, and the "Don't drink and drive" is replaced by the above one when entering the city. Alternativly the comment is; well, if you are taking drugs, you're flying - not driving!

There is also "Tiredness kills" - I imagine a little guy named "tiredness" done out in his cammos, lying below the sign in the long grass with a high powered sniper's rifle.

or "Observe the speed limit" - 'observe'; not 'adhear to'. [/i]"Look, there's a forty zone!"[/i]

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-November-2004, 02:49 PM
The ones I laugh at are "Don't take drugs and drive"

..because its much harder to steer !



There is also "Tiredness kills" - I imagine a little guy named "tiredness" done out in his cammos, lying below the sign in the long grass with a high powered sniper's rifle.

And I thought I was odd :). Anyway, Its not tiredness that kills you its hitting other objects at great speed :) Im curious, why do you see "tiredness" as a dwarf in your mind ? :)



or "Observe the speed limit" - 'observe'; not 'adhear to'. [/i]"Look, there's a forty zone!"[/i]

Hmm Observe does actually mean "adhere to" as well you know :)

Gadget
23rd-November-2004, 03:41 PM
Im curious, why do you see "tiredness" as a dwarf in your mind ? :)
So I can beat him and pummel him into submission. So I can ignore him and still function with relative clarity.
If I saw it as a big black cloud that loomed to envelop and engulf the awake state of mind, then I would have no chance and wake in bowls of cerial with milk in my ear or with "FGHJVBN" imprinted on my cheek.


Hmm Observe does actually mean "adhere to" as well you know :)
Damnit he's right. But it's only one of five definitions - the rest all relate to looking at rather than adhearing to. (never mind the origin of the word either :innocent: )

baldrick
24th-November-2004, 01:40 PM
Damnit he's right. But it's only one of five definitions - the rest all relate to looking at rather than adhearing to. (never mind the origin of the word either :innocent: )
He may be right, but I've gone with your way of thinking.
"ooo look there's a speed limit!" :D

Missy D
24th-November-2004, 05:22 PM
I saw one of these in some 4 x 4 as I was going to work the other morning, where the driver just pulled out into traffic without looking. Goodness knows how the driver didn't hit anything!

I know what you mean - some times i wonder if the "baby on board" sticker means that the baby is actually having a lesson as the driving is so bad.

BeeBee
24th-November-2004, 07:34 PM
Nice thought. Did once get round of applause from 3 cops at speed trap that I nearly got 30mph at. Seemd impressed that I was daft enough to try.


Impressed? Perhaps, Balders, but having known you for a wee while, definetly not surprised! :really: :)

Tiggerbabe
25th-November-2004, 12:18 AM
Off Topic - well kind of :flower:

My favourite is still the one that says "Use both lanes" - it makes me smile everytime I see it :D - do you think the police officer would believe me when I said I was just doing what I was told, when he pulls me over for changing from one lane to the other all the time :whistle: :whistle:

baldrick
25th-November-2004, 12:59 AM
Off Topic - well kind of :flower:

My favourite is still the one that says "Use both lanes" - it makes me smile everytime I see it :D - do you think the police officer would believe me when I said I was just doing what I was told, when he pulls me over for changing from one lane to the other all the time :whistle: :whistle:
So now when you see a wee white van with blue kayak on the roof, wiggling its way down the road you'll know Sheena put the idea in my head :rofl: :clap: :hug:

Stuart
27th-November-2004, 12:48 PM
I've just seen a variation on one of theose "Baby on Board" signs - "Little Princess on Board". I could feel my stomach churning!

I've also just seen a book in Waterstones about signs. The cover showed "Elephants please stay in your car"!

Dreadful Scathe
27th-November-2004, 02:35 PM
I've just seen a variation on one of theose "Baby on Board" signs - "Little Princess on Board". I could feel my stomach churning!

I've also just seen a book in Waterstones about signs. The cover showed "Elephants please stay in your car"!
A lot of signs don't use any punctuation. My favourite is the famous 'SLOW CHILDREN AHEAD' its a shame for those stupid children to point it out like that :)

philsmove
27th-November-2004, 04:47 PM
Does any one feel CALM when they go over traffic calming bumps?

Claire S
27th-November-2004, 06:31 PM
It's "Baby on Board" signs in cars that really gets my goat.

I really must get some stickers made to paste over the top saying "Therefore, my driving will be truly appalling" If this is not true, why do I need to know that they have a baby? Why should the contents of their car affect my driving? :confused: Unless they are carrying Semtex, Gelignite or other Big Bangers...

Daisy

(An Irritated Little Flower)

I was driving behind a car on a dual carriageway recently that had a "baby on board" sign on the back window.
There were 3 kids climbing all over the back seat... not a seatbelt in sight & the driver was talking on his mobile phone! :mad:
I get really irritated with people who expect others to be responsible for their safety/comfort/health but refuse to do anything for themselves! :angry:

Daisy Chain
27th-November-2004, 08:54 PM
So now when you see a wee white van with blue kayak on the roof, wiggling its way down the road you'll know Sheena put the idea in my head :rofl: :clap: :hug:

:yeah:

I change gear in time to the music :really: Can't help it :whistle: and one of my regular roads has traffic on both sides and I love to weave in and out in waltz time. I love to make my car dance............ cos I get to lead! :rofl:

Anyone want a lift? :eek:

Daisy

(A Manual Little Flower)

Lou
8th-November-2005, 09:18 PM
/vote for "How's my dancing?" T-shirt...

http://www.teemarto.com/mod/tee01/ProductDetail.do?productId=4942 *

and

http://www.tshirtcandy.com/myshop_pages/browse_info.php?id=143
:rolleyes:


*In my defence, I was catching up on e-mail & it was a link from popbitch.

Tiggerbabe
9th-November-2005, 12:57 AM
*In my defence, I was catching up on e-mail & it was a link from popbitch.
Don't worry Lou, I bought mine from Sid's Store on eBay - you'd like it, it's black :wink:

Paul F
9th-November-2005, 05:16 PM
Its 3am on a Sunday morning, you are driving down the M1, nobody visible on the motorway for miles and you come across a matrix board reading

"Queue Ahead" :mad:

I wish they had some kind of system that changed these signs when there clearly isnt a queue.

doc martin
9th-November-2005, 05:28 PM
Another cycling one.... I hate it when I am riding up a big hill and just before the junction at the top there is a big SLOW sign written on the road.

I know I am. There's no need to rub it in.

Cruella
9th-November-2005, 05:31 PM
Still, my favourite road sign of all time must be "Humped Zebra Crossing Ahead"! :really:
I've told Alison not to do that in public:whistle: No wonder there's rumours of her having a baby in 2 weeks:rofl:

doc martin
9th-November-2005, 05:39 PM
I've told Alison not to do that in public:whistle: No wonder there's rumours of her having a baby in 2 weeks:rofl:
That's impossible, zebras have a gestation period of about 221 to 229 days or so it says here (http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Cephalophus_zebra.html)

Stuart
9th-November-2005, 10:54 PM
Don't worry Lou, I bought mine from Sid's Store on eBay - you'd like it, it's black :wink:

I bought mine in a shop in the Covered Market in Oxford. The only problems with it were that you could only have navy-blue and you had to have the telephone number that was already printed on it.

TiggsTours
11th-November-2005, 01:10 PM
"Residents Parking Only" all over Brighton & Hove, where all my family, and alot of friends live, so how exactly am I supposed to visit them? Public transport down that way is useless!

El Salsero Gringo
11th-November-2005, 02:01 PM
I love the sign fixed to set of railings in town that reads

ANYTHING ATTACHED TO THESE RAILINGS WILL BE REMOVED

Stuart
17th-November-2005, 04:18 PM
Not a sign that made me mad, but one that amused me.

Seen outside an employment agency today "Wanted 7.5 ton driver". Must be a big truck!

TiggsTours
17th-November-2005, 04:24 PM
Not a sign that made me mad, but one that amused me.

Seen outside an employment agency today "Wanted 7.5 ton driver". Must be a big truck!
My favourite sign (and this is a genuine one) is in the middle of a lake in Arundel that you used to be able to hire paddle boats on, all it says is "Do not tie boats to this sign"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Sparkles
17th-November-2005, 05:18 PM
Brilliant sign on a bus window said:
"break glass in case of danger"

... makes you wonder how buses keep any glass in the frames really :rolleyes:

LMC
17th-November-2005, 05:19 PM
Does mad as in "insane" count?

Or am I the only one who imagines triffids stomping across the road when they see signs saying "Heavy Plant Crossing"?

TiggsTours
17th-November-2005, 05:25 PM
Does mad as in "insane" count?

Or am I the only one who imagines triffids stomping across the road when they see signs saying "Heavy Plant Crossing"?
Absolutely not!

There's another sign near my parents that says "Racing of horsedrawn vehicles is strictly prohibited", I like that one.

philsmove
17th-November-2005, 07:04 PM
Is there still a sigh on the royal mile
office for- births; allotments plots;and graves

doc martin
17th-November-2005, 07:20 PM
I hate all of the astrological star signs.

I despise the conmen who try to pretend that astrology has any possible scientific foundation. I get so annoyed when someone says "Well it must have some truth to it because lots of people believe in it". No it doesn't. It just means there are a lot of gullible people out there who are willing to grasp at anything to make their lives a little less miserable.

If there was any scientific basis to astrology, scientific methods would bave been used to show it's validity. Someone would have proposed and tested hypotheses that verified the predictions made. There has been plenty of time. No one has.

These signs signify nothing.

Whoo! I feel better for that.

btw. I'm gemini. I'm sure that makes us sexually compatible:whistle:

David Bailey
17th-November-2005, 08:48 PM
I hate all of the astrological star signs.

I despise the conmen who try to pretend that astrology has any possible scientific foundation. I get so annoyed when someone says "Well it must have some truth to it because lots of people believe in it". No it doesn't. It just means there are a lot of gullible people out there who are willing to grasp at anything to make their lives a little less miserable.

If there was any scientific basis to astrology, scientific methods would bave been used to show it's validity. Someone would have proposed and tested hypotheses that verified the predictions made. There has been plenty of time. No one has.

These signs signify nothing.

Whoo! I feel better for that.
Blimey, they've cloned me. :eek:

I think I know a thread you might like... have a look at this (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6136) - it gets good around page 2-3, IMO... :whistle:

'Bout time we resurrected that one I reckon... :whistle: :whistle:

Lynn
18th-November-2005, 01:55 PM
I change gear in time to the music :really:Glad I'm not the only one who does that!:rofl:

I recall an interesting list of instructions at a safari park in Nigeria which included 'Do not familiarise yourself with the baboons' :rofl:

(Actually they really were very cheeky and would run off with your lunch/bag/camera/whatever if you left it down for too long!)

Tiggerbabe
18th-November-2005, 02:37 PM
Didn't make me mad - made me laugh out loud..................

seen written in dirt on the back of a "once white" van........

I wish my wife were this dirty :eek: :rofl:

Dreadful Scathe
18th-November-2005, 02:41 PM
I get so annoyed when someone says "Well it must have some truth to it because lots of people believe in it".

You could apply that to Jesus and Santa too ;)

David Bailey
18th-November-2005, 03:56 PM
You could apply that to Jesus and Santa too ;)
Go on, someone resurrect the "star-signs and dancers" thread, you know you want to...

CeeCee
19th-November-2005, 11:41 AM
Originally posted by DavidJames
Go on, someone resurrect the "star-signs and dancers" thread, you know you want to...

Now I'd definitely support that, go on bring it back, the Forum needs the debate!

The "star-signs etc" thread had me in stitches before I even joined the Forum back in the days when I was a lurker.

doc martin
19th-November-2005, 12:56 PM
Go on, someone resurrect the "star-signs and dancers" thread, you know you want to...
I feel I need to read it all before I say anything. So far I am on page 7. I'll get back to you some time soon(ish)...

CeeCee
19th-November-2005, 07:51 PM
originally posted by doc martin
I feel I need to read it all before I say anything. So far I am on page 7. I'll get back to you some time soon(ish)...

read it all and weep, that thread will take a lot of your time and energy and it'll be ages before you resurface.

Good luck

David Bailey
19th-November-2005, 09:52 PM
read it all and weep, that thread will take a lot of your time and energy and it'll be ages before you resurface.
No kidding, I spent hours winning that argument :innocent:

Lynn
20th-November-2005, 12:47 PM
Go on, someone resurrect the "star-signs and dancers" thread, you know you want to...How did I miss this thread first time round? Just read it - great thread. Am going to resist posting on it though...

philsmove
12th-March-2006, 02:43 AM
The sign I hate most is “cyclists’ dismount.” I would love to see a sign saying, “Drivers get out and push “


This (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4789146.stm) made me think I might resurrect this thread

Barry Shnikov
12th-March-2006, 12:30 PM
How did I miss this thread first time round? Just read it - great thread. Am going to resist posting on it though...

I'm not...:na: