MJ and the Singles scene

[Gus]

A number of MJ organisations seem to be targeting the singles scene .. some more proactively than others (didn’t Ceroc at one point have some link with 'Chemistry' at one point?). Is this a good thing or a bad thing? The following occurs to me;

{ODA Mode ON}Yeaaahhhhh ... great idea NOT! We've got enough sleazebags in the circuit without more saddos and social inadaquates who are coming in the hope of copping off. One they get their paws onto someone you'll never see them again. How would you feel if every partner you danced with was evaluating you not for your dance ability but as to whether they cold get you into bed? :mad: {ODA Mode OFF}

An alternate view is
{ODA TWO Mode ON}What could be a better environment for a single person who wants to join in activities. MJ provides a safe welcoming environment. Its an ideal situation, the aims of both parties could work well together to bring a whole host of new blood into dancing. Once they get the bug the need to find a partner diminishes and they can get on with just enjoying life rather than worrying about it!{ODA TWO Mode OFF}

[MartinHarper]

(didn’t Ceroc at one point have some link with 'Chemistry' at one point

Why not find out from the internet archive?
http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.ceroc.com

[ChrisA]

Its an ideal situation, the aims of both parties could work well together to bring a whole host of new blood into dancing. Once they get the bug the need to find a partner diminishes and they can get on with just enjoying life rather than worrying about it!
I'd go for this one. :yeah:

It's better to come down hard on the miscreants, than discourage people that aren't (or don't start off as, anyway) dance purists - for whatever reason.

And just because you're on the pull doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that you're going to behave inappropriately in any way at all.

This unspoken notion that just because someone's open to the possibility of meeting a partner, they will then necessarily behave badly on the dancefloor, is simply cobblers :D

Sure there are the sleazebags, saddos and social inadequates - this will always be the case in lots of walks of life :tears:. Dance venues aren't charitable organisations - if people want to be accepted in the dance world, just as in any other, they need to behave acceptably. And the small minority of people that won't, need to be encouraged to either shape up, or go elsewhere, since they have no right to spoil it for the rest. :flower:

If we want a culture of non-acceptance of unwanted behaviour, we should develop it. And that shouldn't stop you chatting someone up from time to time :devil:

Chris

[stewart38]

[QUOTE=Gus]A number of MJ organisations seem to be targeting the singles scene .. some more proactively than others (didn’t Ceroc at one point have some link with 'Chemistry' at one point?). Is this a good thing or a bad thing? The following occurs to me;


Good thing/ bad thing not sure, as The Sun paper scores ceroc highly for singles what right have us mortals to comment

Its always been a mixture of both and long may that continue

I've notice even in last 6 months far more younger people joining but no one has said I look like their dad yet.

[Lynn]

Mixed feelings about this. Having been involved in organising social events for singles in the past I know that many go along to these events looking for company, friendship and an enjoyable evening out as much, if not more so, than to go 'on the pull'. Yes they are open to meeting someone for 'romance' but its not the sole motivation. And if that approach was bringing new people into dance, who then find they love dancing, that's great.

But on the other hand if an evening is marketed at singles would that change how we danced? I don't mean avoiding the sleazy types - singles aren't automatically sad, sleazy, desperate individuals! But I think there are different behaviour parameters in dancing, I might dance in a flirtatious way with a guy because the music and moment makes that right for that dance not as any sort of indication that I want anything beyond the dance. Would that be more likely to be misunderstood by a newish guy who's been attracted along to dancing as a way to meet women?

[ChrisA]

But I think there are different behaviour parameters in dancing, I might dance in a flirtatious way with a guy because the music and moment makes that right for that dance not as any sort of indication that I want anything beyond the dance. Would that be more likely to be misunderstood by a newish guy who's been attracted along to dancing as a way to meet women?
Agreed.

And quite possibly so. But (a) wouldn't you be more inclined to dance like that once you knew him a little and had a certain amount of confidence in him not misunderstanding?

And (b) even if he did misunderstand and take it initially as a come on, he'd soon get the message as soon as you made it clear.

It's the ones that won't get the message that need to be dealt with, not the ones that will.

You shouldn't be forced into the position of having to dance with someone's husband in order not to be treated badly if you flirt with them a bit :hug:

Chris

[Andy McGregor]

I think the difference is in the promotion. Of course people meet at activities. But that shouldn't be promoted as the sole reason for the activity. We go dancing because we like to dance. We don't suffer the dancing as a way of meeting our future bride/groom/one-night-stand.

From my own point of view I go dancing because I like to dance. I've made many new friends at dancing, but I don't go looking for a partner as I've already got one. For someone to promote MJ as a singles night would actually put me off going. But if it's promoted as a dance night where singles might meet I'd have no problem with that.

Writing this has jogged my memory - Jeff Jasper, a local organiser (please bear in mind I have nothing good to say about him as his dancing is limited and he allows smoking at his dances - oh, and he's banned me because I had the temerity to complain when he advertised a dance as 'free' and then charged us when we got there :tears: ) regularly gets the TV cameras down to his night to promote the singles aspect of dancing. To me this is very off-putting. One night (before I was banned) he had the cameras along to his night for a 'looking for love' programme. I spent the night dodging the cameras because I didn't want to put my wife in the position of having to explain to her friends why her husband was spotted on a programme about the singles/dating scene :what:

I think that the MJ scene is a nice place for singles to meet. But I don't think it's the prime reason to go along - that really must be the dancing bit otherwise you could meet up in a speed-dating situation with a lot less perspiration :sick:

[Lou]

IFrom my own point of view I go dancing because I like to dance. I've made many new friends at dancing, but I don't go looking for a partner as I've already got one. For someone to promote MJ as a singles night would actually put me off going. But if it's promoted as a dance night where singles might meet I'd have no problem with that.
:yeah:
Well said, Andy. :flower:

[Lynn]

But (a) wouldn't you be more inclined to dance like that once you knew him a little and had a certain amount of confidence in him not misunderstanding? Umm, maybe not? :blush: But actually thinking about it I would dance very simply with a guy who was a beginner as he would have enough to concentrate on leading moves. So that wouldn't apply.


You shouldn't be forced into the position of having to dance with someone's husband in order not to be treated badly if you flirt with them a bit :hug: :rofl: That wasn't what I meant! When I dance I don't even think about whether the man is married/single etc - I'm interested in how he dances. But then I'm not looking for a man!

I think yes - great to get singles along to MJ - but just how it is marketed would be the issue for me.

[Lynn]

I think the difference is in the promotion... For someone to promote MJ as a singles night would actually put me off going. But if it's promoted as a dance night where singles might meet I'd have no problem with that. :yeah: Think that's what I meant.

Interestingly, when I was involved in organising singles events, they were for singles to meet other singles as friends, not to find a partner (though some did of course). Occasionally someone would come along only to see if they could meet a partner but didn't stick around long as they weren't interested in actually making friends. They also stood out as a bit 'obvious'. I think that would happen with MJ as well and you would end up mostly with friendly singles who enjoy dancing and making friends.

[ChrisA]

:rofl: That wasn't what I meant! When I dance I don't even think about whether the man is married/single etc - I'm interested in how he dances. But then I'm not looking for a man!

I know :hug:

But there's a serious point there too. I was just illustrating with the example that for someone just enjoying the dancing in a secure relationship, a bit of flirting is harmless fun. Whereas if lots of singles predatorily took the slightest grin as a big come-on, it might become rather annoying rather quickly, and would need to be dealt with - but that shouldn't mean that the opportunity to dance with the other singles, the perfectly Ok ones, is taken away from you by somehow marketing MJ as something for couples and dance purists only (not that it is, thank heavens).



I think yes - great to get singles along to MJ - but just how it is marketed would be the issue for me.
Sure. And I'm not suggesting there should be any marketing along the lines of "learn to dance and get laid" either :D

Chris

[Gadget]

But I think there are different behaviour parameters in dancing, I might dance in a flirtatious way with a guy because the music and moment makes that right for that dance not as any sort of indication that I want anything beyond the dance. Would that be more likely to be misunderstood by a newish guy who's been attracted along to dancing as a way to meet women?
:yeah:
If we go down that line, does it not alienate those of us who have no interest in picking up someone?

[Lynn]

I was just illustrating with the example that for someone just enjoying the dancing in a secure relationship, a bit of flirting is harmless fun. Whereas if lots of singles predatorily took the slightest grin as a big come-on, it might become rather annoying rather quickly, and would need to be dealt with - but that shouldn't mean that the opportunity to dance with the other singles, the perfectly Ok ones, is taken away from you by somehow marketing MJ as something for couples and dance purists only (not that it is, thank heavens). :yeah:
I think there would be a danger in running a 'singles only' dance night/class - then it would be like a dancing 'speed dating' that Andy referred to. But every dance night is already a mix of singles and couples, the rotation aspect in learning encourages people to come along on their own (not nessecarily single - could be married but spouse isn't interested in dancing), its naturally a singles friendly scene and most new people would pick up their behaviour cues from the other dancers (Except the odd ones - and they can be very odd! - who might need 'educating'!)

[DianaS]

:yeah:
I think there would be a danger in running a 'singles only' dance night/class - then it would be like a dancing 'speed dating' that Andy referred to. But every dance night is already a mix of singles and couples, the rotation aspect in learning encourages people to come along on their own (not nessecarily single - could be married but spouse isn't interested in dancing), its naturally a singles friendly scene and most new people would pick up their behaviour cues from the other dancers (Except the odd ones - and they can be very odd! - who might need 'educating'!)
I don't mind the single people, it's married or attached people that sometimes act stranger :what:

[bigdjiver]

Ever since I started MJ I have observed an element of musical speed dating about it. In the extreme I have twice seen very attractive ladies pick up a partner in the beginner class, and leave before it finished. There are very many who joined looking for love, and discovered instead, or, if very fortunate, as well, a love of dancing.

This muggles view has not hurt MJ so far, and I do not see it hurting it in the future.

[ChrisA]

Ever since I started MJ I have observed an element of musical speed dating about it. In the extreme I have twice seen very attractive ladies pick up a partner in the beginner class, and leave before it finished.
Fascinating. Wonder why if they were that fab looking, they'd choose a MJ class as a pick up joint.

Chris

[Andy McGregor]

Fascinating. Wonder why if they were that fab looking, they'd choose a MJ class as a pick up joint.

Chris

This is obvious, dancers make better lovers :whistle:

[Gus]

This is obvious, dancers make better lovers :whistle:You've obviously never slept with a gymnast then :waycool:

[ChrisA]

This is obvious, dancers make better lovers :whistle:
You'd think they'd wait for the intermediate class, then, or at the very least, the inter-class freestyle :devil:

[Andy McGregor]

You've obviously never slept with a gymnast then :waycool:

I don't like to disillusion you, that gymnast was me :whistle:

.. and who was sleeping? :devil:

[philsmove]

A large proportion of my class are single
They are defiantly not sleazebags saddos or inadaquates
May be they will meet that special person and maybe the sparks will fly, but in the mean time
I think we all take Bardsey’s stap line (signature) to heart

I don’t care how the classes are advertised
Ok - the occasional saddo may turn up, but I would like to think we could transform them

( what the opposite of a saddo)


Don't you just hate people who ask questions but don't use question marks

Sorry - what is the opposite of a saddo?

[Dreadful Scathe]

Sorry - what is the opposite of a saddo?
a happo ?

can you not make it multiple choice ? :confused:

[jivecat]

I think that the MJ scene is a nice place for singles to meet. But I don't think it's the prime reason to go along - that really must be the dancing bit otherwise you could meet up in a speed-dating situation with a lot less perspiration :sick:

:yeah:

As Philsmove points out there are loads of singles at MJ already and they don't seem to be causing any trouble. A local singles club already sends the occasional crowd of new recruits along to our venue. Though I would feel a bit uncomfortable if MJ was openly marketed as a specifically singles activity. It's easy enough to spot people on the pull- they only turn up when their latest relationship has gone pear-shaped. Presumably they don't really like dancing. :confused:

[Scotch Bonnet]

It really is wiser to keep Dance and Romance seperate,it just spoils it when there is involvement.If you started together as a couple,fine but don't go to Ceroc looking for a partner !!
You're better checking out the feet first not the face....

[TheTramp]

It really is wiser to keep Dance and Romance seperate,it just spoils it when there is involvement..I've dated a few people I've met at dancing, and it's never spoilt it for me (might have for them though!!!). I think it all depends on your attitude anyhow. Same as meeting partners is any social or work activity! I don't think that dancing is any different to those.

I'm always amused by the people who say 'I'd never date someone from dancing' people. Why not? What's the difference between dancing and anywhere else that you'd meet and start dating someone. Except that you know you'll have something in common this way...

Trampy

[philsmove]

I've dated a few people I've met at dancing, and it's never spoilt it for me (might have for them though!!!). I think it all depends on your attitude anyhow. Same as meeting partners is any social or work activity! I don't think that dancing is any different to those.

I'm always amused by the people who say 'I'd never date someone from dancing' people. Why not? What's the difference between dancing and anywhere else that you'd meet and start dating someone. Except that you know you'll have something in common this way...

Trampy
:yeah:
I could not agree more

[Magic Hans]

Great Post, Gus!! :worthy: :worthy:

25 posts in two days, shows there's clearly an interest and opinions out there!!

The MJ places that I have been to have comprised a very broad section of the population (Young, old, richer, poorer, white and (more and more) black and other ethnics, single, married (happily and not, I guess) professional, tradesmen).... who (on the face of it) want to dance.

This is my attraction in a society that is increasingly ghetto-ised, with groups alienated from each other (mainly through ignorance). There are very few places that attract such diversity of population.

Inevitably, with girls and boys (lads 'n lasses!), expressing emotionally/physically to music, their will always be differing levels of sexual/emotional tension. Personally I believe this to be healthy for everyone, single or not, if only in terms of self-exploration in a (relatively) safe environment.

Relationships will form, be nutured, and break down. Such is their nature. I applaud and support this. Is the dancing a cause? Or a catalyst?

I have no problems with any manner of marketing, so long as it does not overly target specific population groups.

It seems to me that singles have have either long or short/immediate term strategies. Those looking for a quick sh*g aren't going to be around for long anyway (imo), before they are found out and shunned. Those looking more long term will get known for there personality and dancing, and as a person. As such, they then become part of the community!

Therein lies the 2nd of two cornerstones that are at the heart of my being(-ness): free self-expression and community! [or were they heartstones at the corner ... !!]

Long live MJ in all its forms and long may it prosper! ..... !an

PS .... Any chance of getting some more gymnasts into MJ, Gus !! :D

[Gus]

I've dated a few people I've met at dancing, and it's never spoilt it for me (might have for them though!!!). Sorry Trampy old boy but I will have to really disagree with this. Similar to dating someone in the office, the words of wisdom cautioning against such is "what happens when it goes pearshaped?".

I've seen FAR too many couples who were when they spolit can no longer bear to see their ex-partner .. often leads to one of the partners feeling they can no longer dance at certain clubs. Ask around .. there is a lot of pain out there over such ... want an example , a certain Scottish gentleman from this Forum (now departed) dated some very nice ladies (who's judgement obviously was temporarily impaired) ... and they had to put up with seeing him sharking round the clubs once they had split .. not nice :(

Oh yeah ... have I dated anyone though dancing? ... yup .... and its always been the breaking up that has been the difficult part. I've now tried to look for partners outside the Jive scene but as a minumum I try to avoid dating anyone from my own club.

[Lynn]

Sorry Trampy old boy but I will have to really disagree with this. Similar to dating someone in the office, the words of wisdom cautioning against such is "what happens when it goes pearshaped?". Really depends on how well you get on with exes - and can apply to any area of life where you meet someone. I don't think its the same as a work situation as its much more difficult if you have to continue to work with someone, whereas you could be at the same venue but not dance with them or go to different venues. (It could cause a problem if you were both in the same class and ended up together in the rotation). But if things tend to end up messy then might be better avoided.

It is a relevant issue for the 'MJ and Singles' - as you could attract someone to MJ as a place to meet a partner, they could find they love dancing, that venue gets a great new dancer... then break up with someone they met at dancing and not go back - that venue loses a great new dancer...

[Andy McGregor]

It is a relevant issue for the 'MJ and Singles' - as you could attract someone to MJ as a place to meet a partner, they could find they love dancing, that venue gets a great new dancer... then break up with someone they met at dancing and not go back - that venue loses a great new dancer...

But, for a time, they had that great new dancer :clap:

This is just like the "is it better to have loved and lost?" argument. I think it's better to have danced with a great dancer than to have never danced with that dancer at all. And, in knowing that great dancer we may have, ourselves, raised our game.

[jivecat]

sharking round the clubs ......

What is "sharking", exactly, Gus?




Oh yeah ... have I dated anyone though dancing? ... yup .... and its always been the breaking up that has been the difficult part. I've now tried to look for partners outside the Jive scene but as a minumum I try to avoid dating anyone from my own club.

I think this is really sensible advice. I know that relationship breakdowns are difficult in whatever context they happen but they seem particularly tricky in MJ. First there seems to be lots of politics involved between couples as to who else they dance with, for how many dances and what sort of dances. People in healthy relationships will probably come to a happy agreement about this, but I've seen it be a big source of conflict where one partner wants a lot more freedom to dance with other people. Where people are insecure in a relationship they may find watching their partner dance with someone else quite difficult, even if it's not a particularly intimate, bluesy number. I've also known people be quite pleased if their partner goes home before they do, saying, "Great, I can really loosen up and enjoy myself now!"

I don't think these complications would occur between people whose main hobby was eg watching football, climbing or judo. They can be alleviated a little by partners having their own separate dance "territory" where each can retreat when it all goes wrong. I should emphasise that I know there are many happy and stable couples in MJ who have no problems with any of these issues- they're an inspiration! :worthy: :flower:

[bigdjiver]

I have seen a few broken MJ relationships spread out. Not only do the ex-partners not dance with each other, but their friends will not dance with the ex-partner either, it becomes a mini-feud. It is a definite downer for a small club. At least once it has resulted in both "gangs" choosing to dance elsewhere, to avoid the risk of meeting. I lost regular partners in both camps.

Many people have an instinctive dislike of seeing their partner enjoying themselves with others. I have known a few couples avoid the jealousy thing by dancing on different nights.

[Gojive]

Hmmm.....I met some of you at Amir's T-Jive a few weeks ago, on the day I competed in the mini-masters. The lady that was with me that day, was my dance partner for the competition, and we felt we danced really well together both at the T-Jive, and in the competition that evening. The lady in question was my EX partner!. So meeting someone at a jive club, and subsequently splitting up, certainly never did us any harm :).

The lady I'm with now, I met......on a dance holiday!. We go to dances together every weekend if we can (we'll be at Warmwell for the party weekender this weekend :drool: ), and we both dance freely with other dancers. All we try to ensure, is that we have the first and the last dance together.

So far, we are both very, very happy! :waycool: . I take the point about how things can be awkward, but they needn't always be. Often, it's how you deal with it that causes problems IMHO :)

[Gus]

What is "sharking", exactly, Gus? oh boy ... its a phrase I picked up in London ... inspired by the film Jaws. Scenario is that the 'shark' circles the dance club, sniffing out the potential victims ... like a real life shark homing in on the vulnerable ... circling the intended victim before making the final run to make the kill! ... or something like that :wink:

[jivecat]

Scenario is that the 'shark' circles the dance club, sniffing out the potential victims ... like a real life shark homing in on the vulnerable ... circling the intended victim before making the final run to make the kill! ... or something like that :wink:

Kew-ul. I think I'm off out tonight to do a bit of sharking myself. :D

[Lynn]

...and we both dance freely with other dancers. All we try to ensure, is that we have the first and the last dance together. :yeah:
But boy is he in trouble if he doesn't dance the last dance with me! :rofl:

[Magic Hans]

Boy this is a biggy!!!

Is it looking like we're fairly split down the middle!!!?

I agree with Gus that it is difficult and painful seeing an ex dancing and having a good time with someone else - like many, I've been there too. And I can quite see how, as BigD says, feuds can build, causing more ill-feeling and general hassle.

What's this down to? I'm sure many people have many reasons.

I have two: clarity and pain.

Where I am not clear (and open) as to the purpose of my actions, say going dancing or starting a relationship (and its boundaries), then I am my own worst enemy if I end up in unpleasant situations.

As for pain, or the "Winter of the Heart", it a necessary part of life, for which I can be thankful for my life, and my learning. It is, potentially, my greatest teacher. Our western society seems to abhor pain, swallowing literally hundreds of tonnes of painkillers a year to suppress it (let alone all the drowning of sorrows).

Apart from the learning, by living through (rather than fighting or denying) the Winter, I can far more enjoy the Springs and Summers of my heart.

Wordsworth: (I think!)
Man was made for Joy and Woe
Then when this we rightly know
Through the world we'll safely go

Joy and Woe are woven fine
A clothing for the soul to bind.

In short, I don't quite agree when Lynn says that it is how we deal/cope with exxes .... it is about how we deal with pain, and relationship in the broadest sense ..... perhaps that's the same thing, only I'm splitting hairs!!

!an

[Gojive]

:yeah:
But boy is he in trouble if he doesn't dance the last dance with me! :rofl:

But how can I have the last dance with BOTH of you Lynn? :eek: :really: :wink:

[foxylady]

I love flirting on the dance floor (in fact I love flirting), but am an old married woman with no other intent in mind.... I find its one of the few places I can flirt freely without someone getting the wrong end of the stick ! (usually the person I'm flirting with's wife :wink: ) If I had to stop flirting I wouldn't be me !!!

However in a previous life my experience was that dancefloor relationships really wrecked the dancing... Turning the vertical expression into a horizontal one seemed to kill all passion in the vertical one... such that dancing with them was no longer fun ! Is it just me who has experienced that, or would others concur ? (Iknow not all as there are alot of marrieds on this forum - but perhaps their preferred dance partners changed ?)

[Lynn]

But how can I have the last dance with BOTH of you Lynn? :eek: :really: :wink: :rofl:

[SilverFox]

I love flirting on the dance floor (in fact I love flirting)
Do you really? :wink:


but am an old married woman with no other intent in mind.... I find its one of the few places I can flirt freely without someone getting the wrong end of the stick !
You may be married (old? ya sure don't look it! :flower: ) but even so, surely you know there's only one end to the stick! :devil:


However in a previous life my experience was that dancefloor relationships really wrecked the dancing... Turning the vertical expression into a horizontal one seemed to kill all passion in the vertical one... such that dancing with them was no longer fun ! Is it just me who has experienced that, or would others concur ?

I must confess to having dabbled (horizontal) and yes it did take a lot of the fun out of the dancing (vertical). By doing so the element of mystery was removed, which I believe plays a large part when flirting/dancing with a partner that you are attracted to.

[Andy McGregor]

I must confess to having dabbled (horizontal) and yes it did take a lot of the fun out of the dancing (vertical). By doing so the element of mystery was removed, which I believe plays a large part when flirting/dancing with a partner that you are attracted to.

I may have said this before, so apologies if I'm repeating myself. A good friend of mine once said that while he was single he loved the flirting part of dancing and had found that when you danced well together ("vertical") it was a good indication that you'd do other pysical activities well together ("horizontal"). But he also said that once you'd been "horizontal" together you could never recapture the magic of those first few dances.

[jivecat]

But he also said that once you'd been "horizontal" together you could never recapture the magic of those first few dances.

Sometimes it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive.......

[Andy McGregor]

Sometimes it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive.......

And some people are the Marie Celeste of romance ...

[Gadget]

What is "sharking", exactly, Gus?
I know gus has replied, but I like what I wrote here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showpost.php?p=36152&postcount=16)

[jockey]

On the subject of the 'singles scene' (whatever that is) I have something to add to Andy's 'Jeff' anecdote. At my first jive dance (in Brighton) I was introduced to the very same Jeff - after a short time he leant over and whispered "there are more women than men at my dances..."
I nearly vomited on the spot. (And avoided his dances.)
I think if modern jive were a singles situation it would be unbearable because if a raunchy number was played and you danced outrageously (to the music, so to speak) and you didn't fancy the lady then you are getting yourself into a difficult situation.. What you want is to play the slut (yes, as the man - why not?) and be able to walk away...
Anyway, I was on the loose when I started jiving and I remember thinking 'I"m not going to get involved with any of this lot - you don't know who they are nor what they do; all they have in common is dancing - they could be anybody, or more likely, nobody..."
Now it is different and I am involved with a dancer. And jive is a great place to meet someone - ironically precisely because it is the very preponderance of marrieds and takens that gives it the friendly 'U certificate' atmosphere where something good can flourish.

[Jon L]

I have been reading this post with interest. When I started dancing, I got into it through a lady and I am still friends even now she's got married. She said you should try this. The first venue I attended was St. Paul's where there were lots of Christian ladies who were into the jive (it was church sponsored) , and yes one or two of them I fancied :really: :really: I tried asking one or two of them out but did I get anywhere - no I blimin didn't :sad: :sad:

However since I concentrated on the technical aspects of dance and going on to the more general circuit, I can honestly now say that the idea of going on the dance floor to "pull" doesn't cross my mind at all. Of course I meet some nice ladies, and if they are good dancers I will quite often dance drops if it's safe. Drops and seducers contrary to some peoples views IMO are not sleazy, they are just a discipline.

Factors that will dictate whether I am going to date someone are: 1) beliefs and values 2) location of the country they live in. Whether they dance jive well that would be nice but not essential though I have said to friends that I would teach any lady I went out with modern jive.

Now there is nothing wrong if you like someone and you have met them at a dance on more than one occasion (I think the first time is a bit too quick), then there's nothing wrong with getting to know them as friends. After all shouldn't we be friends with anyone before taking things further. :grin:

Incidentally the dance code comes into play. On a modern jive night, I have no problem asking a stranger to dance. I have been to balls which are not specific MJ nights though they have had one or two MJ dancers there. This concept is totally not known, and one occasion someone's boyfriend accused me of invading his teritory :( though that wasn't on my agenda.