Would you mind

[Andreas]

if I have a dance with your partner?

What do you think of that one? PARTNER in this case just refers to the person you are dancing with or have gone to a dance with, whatever.

[Chicklet]

Like most things in life, it really depends on who said it and how they said it, the words certainly aren't offensive in themselves.

I have often used this phrase when approaching a "couple" who are either in the middle of a conversation or just off the dance floor or, possibly thinking about heading there but haven't actually made it.

It's actually quite a subtle (or possibly just terribly British) way of saying, "I think I'm interrupting here but the night is short and I'm going to do it anyway but I'm not doing it out of badness or rudeness, I genuinely would like a dance with this person but I'm acknowledging that you "had em" first"

[baldrick]

Last time I interrupted a couple chatting it was with
"Excuse me but could I steal you away for a dance"
Nobody objected, but I was ready for a rejection.

[Andreas]

"but I'm acknowledging that you "had em" first"

That is exactly the problem. The question, directed to the other person rather than the person you want to dance with implies possession. So, while it may be polite to the other person, it is rude towards the person you want to dance with. After all, you are giving the impression that the person you'd like to dance with cannot or is not allowed to make that decision.

I know, I have been told by girls that this is a female way of 'non-intrusiveness'. Can't speak for guys, haven't witnessed it.

So really, the possession part of it is rather disturbing, don't you think? ;)

[Andreas]

Last time I interrupted a couple chatting it was with
"Excuse me but could I steal you away for a dance"
Nobody objected, but I was ready for a rejection.


:yeah: :cheers:

[Chicklet]

So really, the possession part of it is rather disturbing, don't you think? ;)
No, honestly, quite the opposite,.... and I never said that I didn't THEN ask the man if I may have the pleasure - (and yes I do speak like that, and there are plenty of chaps on here who can confirm that more often than not those are the exact words I would use).

Perhaps also we are particularly lucky in Scotland in that many of the regulars know each other quite well and would always take such things in the positive, friendly (and in all honesty really quite tongue in cheek usually) spirit intended.

We are always telling new folk to be sure and dance with as many people as possible by circulating the room and asking as many people as possible...and this kind of thing has developed as a way of neutralising the perceived rudeness of the "interruption" action and IMHO should not be discouraged.

Anyone asked "may I borrow this lovely (wo)man for a dance" *smile* and at a loss for words can easily answer "ooh better ask him if he's free" *smile back*.

There's nothing disturbing in that.

[Andy McGregor]

I'm quite brazen on this front. If someone has come to a dance, has paid to get in to a dance and is standing/sitting next to the dance floor I consider they're fair game for an offer of a dance. Maybe I'm insensitive but I never consider asking the person they're with if they mind. IMHO it's up to the person you've asked if they want to dance with you. The person you've asked might consider asking the person they're with if they mind - I've had this happen a few times and, thankfully, they've always responded positively.

So, if you ever see me chatting at the side of the dance floor feel free to ask me for a dance - you could ask whoever I'm talking to, but I'd prefer it if you asked me :flower:

[Andreas]

I usually ask the ladies for a dance and then politely excuse us when we walk on the floor.

[Gadget]

I think I always ask the lady to dance, no matter what company she is in or what she is doing; I also leave it up to her to wrap up any conversation (assuming she accepts my smile and offer of a hand as invitation.)

If her back is to me I will touch her shoulder first, but I assume that she will make her own excuses with the company she is in.

(I'm not a very vocal person; dancing is tactile and expressive with lots of physical signals and body language - who needs to talk in such a dinn? :))

[MartinHarper]

the possession part of it is rather disturbing, don't you think?

Some of them want to possess you... some of them want to be possessed...
(+guitar solo to taste)

[Andreas]

Some of them want to possess you... some of them want to be possessed...
(+guitar solo to taste)


sounds remotely like Annie Lennox :D

[Stuart M]

Some of them want to possess you... some of them want to be possessed...
(+guitar solo to taste)
Guitar solos in a Eurythmics song? Name one...

On topic: if a couple goes dancing at Modern Jive they have to expect to dance with other people, I think. Therefore if they want to have "quality time" with each other they should stay well away from the dancefloor. No?

PS Just thought of one and it's a good (and much under-used) MJ track: "I Need a Man"...

[drathzel]

"I Need a Man"...


Dont we all :D

[Andreas]

Dont we all :D

NO!! :rofl:

[Andreas]

On topic: if a couple goes dancing at Modern Jive they have to expect to dance with other people, I think. Therefore if they want to have "quality time" with each other they should stay well away from the dancefloor. No?


I agree with that IF they are off the floor. If I go out with somebody and we both stay on the floor for obvious reason of wanting to dance with each other then NO, it cannot be expected.

[drathzel]

I agree with that IF they are off the floor. If I go out with somebody and we both stay on the floor for obvious reason of wanting to dance with each other then NO, it cannot be expected.


I can see both sides... its nice dance with those you know and are close to... however i feel that you go to these classes to enjoy the dance and you can gain valuable experience dancing with different people :grin:

[Andreas]

I can see both sides... its nice dance with those you know and are close to... however i feel that you go to these classes to enjoy the dance and you can gain valuable experience dancing with different people :grin:

Couldn't it be that you go there because it is a nice venue to dance. No smoke, no alcohol, no lurkers ... ;)

[drathzel]

Couldn't it be that you go there because it is a nice venue to dance. No smoke, no alcohol, no lurkers ... ;)


yeah that too but its also good to dance with different people and get to know new people

[Andreas]

yeah that too but its also good to dance with different people and get to know new people

That is too true. One of the reasons why I like to go different places and mostly alone.

But you cannot always assume that is the case ;)

[drathzel]

That is too true. One of the reasons why I like to go different places and mostly alone.

But you cannot always assume that is the case ;)


which is why i know that if i had a man i would feel the same but as i dont i like to share... although i suppose i would share my man or can i only say that cuz i dont got one :confused: :what:

[Sparkles]

I usually ask the ladies for a dance and then politely excuse us when we walk on the floor.
:yeah:
I dance with both men and women and if they're in conversation with someone my usual tactic is to ask them to dance and then, if they say yes, politely excuse us both from their previous company - that way there's no possession implied and if they'd rather stay and chat then they can say no directly and the third party doesn't have to feel embarrassed by having to decline for their friend/partner. :flower:

[philsmove]

I have to admit I have sometimes asked partners, but very much “tong in cheek”, e.g. I would ask HIM the question, but look to HER for the reply

IF the lady wants to be alone with her man that is her prerogative

SHE has a tong in her head and she can speak for herself, you should not ask HIM what SHE wants to do

[Sparkles]

I have to admit I have sometimes asked partners, but very much “tong in cheek”, e.g. I would ask HIM the question, but look to HER for the reply

IF the lady wants to be alone with her man that is her prerogative

SHE has a tong in her head and she can speak for herself, you should not ask HIM what SHE wants to do

Or even a tongue? :wink: :rolleyes:

[under par]

Or even a tongue? :wink: :rolleyes:


Could be a curling "tong" you never know.........there are some peculiar people out there Sparkles :whistle:

[philsmove]

Could be a curling "tong" you never know.........there are some peculiar people out there Sparkles :whistle:


http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showpost.php?p=79246&postcount=23

[Sparkles]

http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showpost.php?p=79246&postcount=23
:worthy: I apologise :flower:

[bigdjiver]

I usually will not interrupt a conversation, unless there is body language that the lady would rather be dancing. In that case I will try and catch her eye, and a simple raise of the eyebrows will bring a positive or negative reaction.

[drathzel]

i like getting to know people but i dont want the fact that i am talking to someone to put others dancing with me

[Trish]

i like getting to know people but i dont want the fact that i am talking to someone to put others dancing with me
:yeah:

[Gordon J Pownall]

.....and a simple raise of the eyebrows will bring a positive or negative reaction.


That certainly worked for Roger Moore - look at the babes he attracted in the Bond movies, just by raising his........eyebrow..... :what:

[drathzel]

That certainly worked for Roger Moore - look at the babes he attracted in the Bond movies, just by raising his........eyebrow..... :what:
i'm a sean connery girl myself!!

[Yogi_Bear]

I sometimes find that sod's law operates here - you finally get the opportunity for a dance to one of your favourite tracks with some gorgeous woman you have been watching all evening and then you find she's into some deep conversation with someone..... :tears: Not that i am ever in that position of course :wink: But hey, life's too short, you just have to make your excuses and dive in.....
yb

[philsmove]

: But hey, life's too short, you just have to make your excuses and dive in.....
yb

:yeah:

Feet first

[drathzel]

YB

I am completely in agreement with that.... as a womanas well i find myself asking when its my fave song and although i find it intimadating it means you get to dance to the song that you want :clap:

[Zebra Woman]

But hey, life's too short, you just have to make your excuses and dive in.....
yb

Yeah, go for it.We've all come out to dance :clap: . A conversation can be resumed, but a dance to the track that is playing is much harder to rearrange.

I'm always happy to be interrupted and so are most people I know. Although I'm still scared about asking complete strangers who are talking, depends on the body language...... :blush:

[Gojive]

A conversation can be resumed, but a dance to the track that is playing is much harder to rearrange.

:yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

[bigdjiver]

I sometimes find that sod's law operates here - you finally get the opportunity for a dance to one of your favourite tracks with some gorgeous woman you have been watching all evening and then you find she's into some deep conversation with someone..... :tears: Not that i am ever in that position of course :wink: But hey, life's too short, you just have to make your excuses and dive in.....
ybNo, sod's law is that when you have finally got a dazzlingy beautiful woman aside for your one and only chance to make a move some **** will come along .... :tears:

[Zebra Woman]

No, sod's law is that when you have finally got a dazzlingy beautiful woman aside for your one and only chance to make a move some **** will come along .... :tears:
:confused: :confused:
Oh .....er .....so we haven't
all come out to dance then Bigd?

If I knew who you were, I would make sure not to interrupt you :blush:

:innocent: :devil:

[CJ]

Guitar solos in a Eurythmics song? Name one...



The one that has "To run away from you... is all that I could do"

The song starts with a guitar solo (ok, so it's chords and not notes, but technically is a solo.)

NEXT?!?

[drathzel]

The one that has "To run away from you... is all that I could do"

The song starts with a guitar solo (ok, so it's chords and not notes, but technically is a solo.)

NEXT?!?
aren't you great :na:

[baldrick]

Yeah, go for it.We've all come out to dance :clap:
I'm out to dance, mind you meeting people and making friends is fun too. :whistle: :wink:

[drathzel]

I'm out to dance, mind you meeting people and making friends is fun too. :whistle: :wink:
:yeah: :yeah: :yeah: