Who's on your black list (dance)

[stewart38]

I danced with 'this girl' the other night and as I thought we danced well together I offered her another dance

She said no thank you

Now that’s a black list for me (ie wont ask her again)

Before I get slated for being pompous that is a bit of 'tongue in cheek' i.e. I may allow her to ask me in the future

Seriously it occurred to me there are some people who I would not dance with and I've subconsciously black listed them reason could include

1) Decline offer of dance before (usually more then once)
2) Look more bored then me (usually more then once)
3) Very bad dancer (I don't mean beginners)
4) If 'she' is a man or looks like one ?
etc

Do other people have a list of dancers they wouldnt dance with (no names please !)
Obviously the black list varies depending on the number of women :sick:

[Aleks]

It's very rare I'll ever say no, but there are a couple of blokes I'll "avoid": one who doesn't smell so good :sick: and the other because it takes me 1/2 an hour to get the feeling back my hands and arms afterwards :tears:.

Fortunately neither of these guys dance regularly at my favourite venues:clap: :clap:

[Dreadful Scathe]

I would never say no to anyone, in fact recently I was going to get a drink and had to say 'ill get you later' to someone and i didnt see her again - still feel guilty about it.

Dancing with some people can be more 'interesting' than 'fun' sometimes but if i expected a perfect dance each time i wouldnt bother going, ultimately i'd be dissapointed (as of course my partner would be when I don't deliver :) ). Its dancing, not rocket science :)

[Rougeforever]

As a beginner I'm still (very) grateful for anyone that asks me to dance.

I'll dance with anyone, and usually make a point of asking the even-more-beginner-than-me men to dance.:grin:

There are people I enjoy dancing with less than others, mainly because I find them difficult to read. Some people's leads are more difficult for me to follow than others. As I prefer dancing more slowly (I get out of breath easily !) I prefer dancers who dance at moderate pace.

I do know that dancing with men whose leads I find difficult to follow is *good* for my dancing, and I inevitably learn something.

My favourite dancers though, are ones who smile and make me feel relaxed. There are some lovely, cheerful men at Solihull and I do my best not to tread on their toes or knock them out with my elbows.

(I actually knocked into a lady with my (ahem) breast the other week - very embarrassing).:blush:

One of the nicest things as a beginner is people asking me to dance, or agreeing to a dance when I ask. I'd hate to think any of them had me on their 'black list'.

[Minnie M]

Originally posted by stewart38

............4) If 'she' is a man or looks like one ?
etc

Does that mean you would refuse to dance with Andy McG. :rofl: (by the way he does follow well)

[Peter]

Originally posted by Minnie M
... dance with Andy McG. :rofl: (by the way he does follow well)

... he looked to be following well in Nigel & Nina's "Big Spender" cabaret on Saturday night ...

[ChrisA]

Originally posted by stewart38
I danced with 'this girl' the other night and as I thought we danced well together I offered her another dance

She said no thank you

Now that’s a black list for me (ie wont ask her again)

Before I get slated for being pompous that is a bit of 'tongue in cheek' i.e. I may allow her to ask me in the future
I wouldn't use the word "pompous", but I think it's a gross overreaction to even partially blacklist someone for only having one dance with you.

I don't think anyone should assume that they have the right to expect a second dance, no matter how good the first one was.

If I ask someone for a second dance, I always feel that it's a real honour and a treat for me if the request is accepted - I never think of it as "offering her another dance".

To answer the question, I don't have any ladies on a blacklist. There are some I might not ask if they yank my arms off, and occasionally I might be too much in need of rehydration to accept an offer, but someone would have to be pretty dangerous to have them on a list I just wouldn't dance with.

Chris

[Gary]

a) There's usually barely enough time in a night to dance with all the people I know and love dancing with.

b) As a guy I've got it a lot easier. I'm leading, so if the girl tends to launch herself into dips, I don't lead anything even resembling a dip, if she likes to yank arms with force, I don't lead any move where that's likely a problem. Unlike girls, I (almost) never have to deal with smelly or sleazy partners. (I can think of one of each in three years).

So there's never any need to "black list" anyone.

Girls who really resist being led are likely to be towards the bottom of my list of girls to ask to dance, but I don't think that's the same.

[Pink Lady]

Off the top of my head, I can only think of one particular gent who I actively avoid. I would add that I have never refused a dance with him when he asks because I don't want to appear rude or hurt his feelings, but I know all the ladies I have spoken to feel the same about dancing with him. The reasons are:

a) He smells bad.
b) His lead is so weak that it could be described as barely there.
c) He never looks at you and you end up feeling like the invisible lady!

[Gary]

Originally posted by Pink Lady


a) He smells bad.
b) His lead is so weak that it could be described as barely there.
c) He never looks at you and you end up feeling like the invisible lady!

So he doesn't lead, doesn't interact, just stands there and is smelly at you? Sorry, that sounds kinda funny to me... Guess it's too late in the day.

[HeatherX]

I never say 'no' if asked....but I do avoid (if someone smells). There are a couple who I would never actually ask but I don't actively avoid. They have a not-very-nice personality and they could be dancing on their own (or standing on their own) and seem to like the lady dancing all round them like a mad thing while not putting in much effort themselves.


There are other guys who (bless 'em) have truly no idea of what dancing to the beat is, and they are not beginners....I think they will never know, it's just not in them. But they have a good time, look happy, make eye contact and smile, and well, we're here to enjoy ourselves, aren't we?

[Sheepman]

Originally posted by Gary
b) As a guy I've got it a lot easier. I'm leading, so if the girl tends to launch herself into dips, I don't lead anything even resembling a dip, if she likes to yank arms with force, I don't lead any move where that's likely a problem. Unlike girls, I (almost) never have to deal with smelly or sleazy partners. (I can think of one of each in three years).
:yeah:
Of course saying I don't have a blacklist doesn't mean that there are not some partners I would rather dance with than others (pretty obvious really). There are times when things are aching too much, or where a particular track will be great with a certain partner who is already busy, so I might end up sitting one out. I hope I have never refused anyone without a reason, and an explanation, and this applies regardless of ability. (Though it was SO hard to turn down Nina for a second dance the other day, but I was already "booked" for the next dance.)

There is only one type of dancer I will make a point of never asking for a dance, that is someone who shows no interest whatever in the dance. Just into posing for the crowd, not relating to their partner, and generally giving the impression that whatever I am doing is utterly tiresome. Luckily this is a very rare experience, and I would dance with such a partner if they asked me. Hoping that the fact that they wanted to dance showed perhaps they did manage to get something out of it after all.

Greg

[Gadget]

I don't really have a "Blacklist"; more Gary's idea of some people come lower down the list than others.

There are a few dancers that belong to the low end of the list and I am sometimes guilty of avoiding :blush: (not beginners, but I wouldn't class as "Intermediate" yet even though they have been dancing a long time) but I always try to dance with some of them:
- There are a couple who have a very strong 'bounce' that interfears with leading
- One or two that move really strangely and I have to concentrate to pick them up (they don't move where I expect them to or arn't where I leave them)
- One or two relative beginners who just move too far away and do the "bum's out" streach to catch.
- One or two who are really strong in where they think you are leading them and are determined to get there.

The only time I tend to avoid dancing with this group is when I have just had a dance from someone within it. {Never refuse, just 'grab' someone else... I hope I'm more subtle than that sounds though :sick:}
I dance with them because they make me concentrate on my dancing and leading ability. Very few (good) leads will dance with them and guide them to improving their own dancing. Most of them have improved while I've been dancing with them - but I'm not sure whether they are getting used to my style, I am getting used to theirs, or it is genuine improvement.

[Lynn]

There are some guys who I'm not as keen on dancing with - the main reason usually being they are a weak lead, or too rough, but I never refuse them - just only would stay up for one dance. A while back I was asked for a dance, but declined it as I really wanted to watch a particular couple. Was then asked by another guy who was a better dancer - but again I declined, for the same reason. Then I remembered I had earlier promised the second guy a dance, and this was the last song of the freestyle... So when he asked again a few seconds later, I agreed. But I didn't get to explain or apologise to the first guy :blush: So maybe I'm on his black list! I think I should ask him up for dance next week - then I'll find out.

[DavidY]

Originally posted by stewart38
4) If 'she' is a man or looks like one ?Once or twice, I have seen particularly androgynous people and I haven't quite been able to work out for sure if they're male or female. :blush: :blush:

I have ducked the issue and not asked them to dance in such cases:blush: , although it is pretty rare.

[Gary]

Originally posted by Gadget

...
- One or two who are really strong in where they think you are leading them and are determined to get there.
...


I try to look at this as an opportunity to work on my following skills, but it's not fun (I'm not a good follower, too much of a control freak).

[Gadget]

Originally posted by Gary
(I'm not a good follower, too much of a control freak).
:yeah: :D

[Graham W]

Nina is on my 'white' list as she is just way above my standard!

I agree that Stew383 or whatever is being a bit sensitive..? Isnt there a ceroc mentality of one dance per session in parts of London,at least - ?

G

[thewacko]

Originally posted by stewart38
4) If 'she' is a man or looks like one ?
etc



I know of just such a person, but being a taxi dancer, felt obliged
to dance - must admit it felt strange dancing with someone who had bigger hands and adams apple than me!:confused:


But like many others have said before me never really refuse anyone but do have my favourites:waycool:

[John Gimber]

I'm probably at risk of being blacklisted by lots of people in Bristol - I have to turn people down all the time for dances, but LeRoc and M.E. are a really tricky combination. Very careful management of dances/breaks, and partners must be done. e.g. dance with a lady who needs a hard lead can lay me out for the night! Thankfully my wife is as light as a feather on her feet!

Very frustrating though, 'cos I'd dance with everyone if I could.

John.

[Mary]

There's only one person on my black list......................ChrisA - he only ever wears black.:D :D

M

Must get some slleeeep.