Useful put-downs for the ladies

[Dance Demon]

Justread these in the local newspaper, and thought they might come in handy for the ladies to ward off the unwelcome advances of sleazes.......

1. Haven't we met before ?
Yes I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic.......

2. Is this seat empty ?
Yes and so will this one be, if you sit down..

3. Your place or mine ?
Both..you go to yours, and I'll go to mine

4. So, what do you do for a living ?
I'm a female impersonator

5. What sign were you born under ?
Access denied....

6. I know how to please a woman
Really ? then please leave me alone

7. I want to give myself to you
Sorry ! I don't accept cheap gifts..

8. If I could see you naked I'd die happy
if I could see younked I'd die laughing...

9. I want you to have my children
No thanks, I already have six of my own...

10. Didn't we meet in a past life ?
Yes, and I wouldn't go out with you then either

11. Shall we go all the way ?
Yes, as long as it's in opposite directions

12. How did you get so beautiful ?
I must have been given your share...

and finally the simplest and probably, the most effective.

Hello..........Goodbye

:clap: :D:

[Tazmanian Devil]

Originally posted by Dance Demon
Justread these in the local newspaper, and thought they might come in handy for the ladies to ward off the unwelcome advances of sleazes.......

1. Haven't we met before ?
Yes I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic.......

2. Is this seat empty ?
Yes and so will this one be, if you sit down..

3. Your place or mine ?
Both..you go to yours, and I'll go to mine

4. So, what do you do for a living ?
I'm a female impersonator

5. What sign were you born under ?
Access denied....

6. I know how to please a woman
Really ? then please leave me alone

7. I want to give myself to you
Sorry ! I don't accept cheap gifts..

8. If I could see you naked I'd die happy
if I could see younked I'd die laughing...

9. I want you to have my children
No thanks, I already have six of my own...

10. Didn't we meet in a past life ?
Yes, and I wouldn't go out with you then either

11. Shall we go all the way ?
Yes, as long as it's in opposite directions

12. How did you get so beautiful ?
I must have been given your share...

and finally the simplest and probably, the most effective.

Hello..........Goodbye

:clap: :D:


:yeah: :rofl:

[fruitcake]

:wink:
I'm just wonderin if any of the fellas get any sleazy woman coming on to THEM....or men just so grateful to get any attention!!!!:innocent:
Fruitcake

[DavidY]

Originally posted by fruitcake
I'm just wonderin if any of the fellas get any sleazy woman coming on to THEMprobably depends on the fella ... but it's not happened to me...
....or men just so grateful to get any attention!!!! ...will let you know if it ever happens. :innocent:

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by fruitcake
:wink:
I'm just wonderin if any of the fellas get any sleazy woman coming on to THEM....
Fruitcake

I had a dance with a woman at the Casbah who would not let go if I wanted her to spin, and at one point held me soooo close it almost crushed my ribs. I was a bit freaked out and noticed she did that with a few guys, then left early with one:)

[Tazmanian Devil]

Originally posted by fruitcake
or men just so grateful to get any attention!!!!:innocent:
Fruitcake


:rofl: :rofl:
Nice one fruitcake:clap:

[fruitcake]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
I had a dance with a woman at the Casbah who would not let go if I wanted her to spin, and at one point held me soooo close it almost crushed my ribs. I was a bit freaked out and noticed she did that with a few guys, then left early with one:)

Oh,,,,,so that's what you do to get a man to go home with you, crush the strength out of him?
Though will he have any left when you get him home?

Altrnatively, he was maybe the one with the most stamina-and passed the 'test'!

Must try that one......:devil:

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by fruitcake
Oh,,,,,so that's what you do to get a man to go home with you, crush the strength out of him?
She also had "eye contact", but I'd feel better calling it "evil eye contact". She didn't really have "come to bed eyes", more like "if you DON'T come to my bed......" eyes. I don't want that experience again thank you very much (unless it's Goldie Hawn :whistle: )

[bigdjiver]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
She didn't really have "come to bed eyes", more like "if you DON'T come to my bed......" eyes.

:rofl: That has made my quotes file.

[fruitcake]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
She also had "eye contact", but I'd feel better calling it "evil eye contact". She didn't really have "come to bed eyes", more like "if you DON'T come to my bed......" eyes. I don't want that experience again thank you very much (unless it's Goldie Hawn :whistle: )

Believe I may have used that look also, plus a grab by the scruff of the neck and thrown him in-don't remember any objectins though.....!!!
ooh-naughty me!:devil:

[Andy McGregor]

Originally posted by fruitcake
Oh,,,,,so that's what you do to get a man to go home with you, crush the strength out of him?
Though will he have any left when you get him home?

Altrnatively, he was maybe the one with the most stamina-and passed the 'test'!


Darwin:confused:

[Sheepman]

Originally posted by fruitcake
:wink:
I'm just wonderin if any of the fellas get any sleazy woman coming on to THEM I believe I have on a couple of occasions, though I wouldn't use the word sleazy, but us guys are so dense, how would we really know? Plus it is hard to believe that anyone would want to :what:

And I wasn't grateful for the attention, just a little shocked. It's again down to that thing of the right partner, knowing and respecting each other. Outrageous behaviour is fine by me, from the right partner :really:

Greg

[Sheepman]

Ooops, just remembered why I was replying on this thread:-

Him "Would you like a dance?"
Her "Only if I lead, 'cos I can see you're not allowed out without one."

"Do you call that dancing? I've seen people on fire move better!"

"You have a dance style as intricate as the pattern on a Fair Isle jumper, and just as interesting!"
(apologies to the Scots!)

and one of my own . . .
"Just dance on your own, it expresses your ego so much better!"

Greg

[stewart38]

Originally posted by fruitcake
:wink:
I'm just wonderin if any of the fellas get any sleazy woman coming on to THEM....or men just so grateful to get any attention!!!!:innocent:
Fruitcake

Happen last night at Windsor. As Im no oil painting not sure what it was about (she kept thrusting herself into me)

It wasn't welcome :mad:

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by Sheepman
and one of my own . . .
"Just dance on your own, it expresses your ego so much better!"

Greg
I think some do anyway, IMHO :rofl:

I recently asked a nice young lady at a local venue for a dance one evening, and she replied "as long as your not cr*p"
After the dance, which was an experience to say the least, I had to stop myself referring to pots, kettles, and the colour black :rofl:

I will admit I'm never going to be the best dancer on any scene, but I think I do know when there is a beat to be kept, and how to keep it :confused: