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stewart38
17th-December-2003, 05:29 PM
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and
produce baby cerocers

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues


:confused:

TheTramp
17th-December-2003, 05:44 PM
1) Yes. A couple.

2) Don't see why not. I think it's as likely as two people meeting in any other way. I know of a few people who've met dancing, and then got married, and produced babies. (Adam & Mandy, Dan & Kelly, David Franklin & Bryony (no babies yet))

3) Can't speak for others. What's the chance of me meeting a non-MJer :tears:

4) Divorce? Don't know of any couples who are married as a result of meeting at Ceroc who are divorced. Yet.

5) Already have. Don't see why not in the future.

6) No. But I really don't have a problem with gay people dancing together at a normal night (why segregate them?). And I'd quite happily dance with a gay man (and have in the past). As long as he wasn't trying to hit on me.

7) Yes. In the case of a relationship at least. Because you might well live some distance apart (I've dated someone from Norwich (living in London) before now for example). If you were married, why would you want to (on a regular basis at least).

Steve

stewart38
17th-December-2003, 05:51 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp
13) Can't speak for others. What's the chance of me meeting a non-MJer :tears:

If you were married, why would you want to (on a regular basis at least).

Steve

Because its about your love of dancing not meeting people :cool:

Gus
17th-December-2003, 06:08 PM
1) Most people I know on the circuit have done so ... me included.

2) Heard of a few

3) Sounds good to me .... think that going out with other MJs can be dangerous ... like going out with someone form work.

4) Again ... know of a few, but it wasn't Ceroc that was the cause ... just the excuse

5) Ug ... done several times :sorry

6) Gay nights should be seperate ... right or wrong they make straights uncomfortable

&) YUP!

Chris
17th-December-2003, 06:50 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

Yes. About eight over about five or so years. Two that I would call serious relationships. Several flings. Out of all those most are now good friends inside and outside of ceroc. Two probably have vendettas.

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and produce baby cerocers

Hasn't happened to me. Only wanted to once, and she had a couple of ready made ones, but she flipped me out before we got to that. It's a gamble, but enough people do seem to manage it. If you've both been dancing the same length of time, and at least a few years, I think this might be more stable.

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

Depends on the relationship. I've got a life outside of Ceroc. Many people go to ceroc to pull.

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

I know a few - mostly teachers. Feel sorry for them, but time heals.

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

Possibly, but less so than before. You only need one or two people to make life hell if you part but go to the same venue.

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

Why not? but only if they want it. Otherwise I see no reason to discriminate on acount of sexual orientation.

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues

Yes, if handled well. Sometimes their styles don't gel or there's other barriers but they still love each other and it works.


steep learning curve, especially for guys. An excellent article on a salsa website somewhere.

Tazmanian Devil
17th-December-2003, 08:30 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

I have dated One person from ceroc for about 3 months. Didn't work out due to my work but we are still good friends :waycool: He is now dating someone else from ceroc and they have been together for about 7 months now. It can work :wink:




Originally posted by stewart38
3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't


NO!!!!!! Theres a certain jelousy aspect that goes on!! :innocent: especially if your dancing 5-6 times a week!! :innocent:





Originally posted by stewart38
5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer


Wouldn't mind either way so long as they don't mind me dancing 5-6 nights a week as well as the awkward hours I do at work!! :wink:





Originally posted by stewart38
6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community


Whats wrong with Gays at our venues then :confused: Why should they have to have there own nights:confused: live and let live I say :kiss: :hug:




Originally posted by stewart38
&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues


Oh yes have seen it done lots of times. So long as theres trust in the marriage then whats the problem!! :nice:

cerocmetro
18th-December-2003, 04:32 AM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

Did an email survey on this subject a couple of weeks ago, perhaps that is where this post started. I have had over 5,000 emails back saying they have dated someone from Ceroc

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and
produce baby cerocers

Been there, done that twice :waycool:

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

from what I have seen it depends on how good you are as a dancer. The better you are, the less chance the relationship

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

very very high

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

Many

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

If the answer is yes, then should we have Scotish only, Jewish only nights, black only, white only, green only etc etc etc?

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues

If you are happily married yes, if you can't you are not happily married

You missed a question, what is the affair rate like, answer, orbital!!!

:confused:
Adam

Gadget
18th-December-2003, 02:11 PM
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers
I'm too monogomus, but know of a few 'couples' that have existed from within Ceroc.

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and produce baby cerocers
Adam and Mandy are the prime example that it is possible.

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't
Well, my wife seem to be sticking arround, and she's no dancer... But I only get let out once a week and the occasional party.

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?
I don't want to know.

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer
depends... would my wife find out?? :devil:

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community
I'm with Gus on this one; I think that it would alienate more than it would help. Poss start MJ classes in a Gay club, but on a purley business side of things; why limit yourself to only one sector of the market? {BTW my best man was more a "breast" man}

{Edit: Hey - where did all the posts go?}

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues
I think that I am glad that my wife does not dance: She tends to get jealous very easily - I don't think that she would see some of my moves as "musical interpritation" :innocent:

tufty007
18th-December-2003, 06:55 PM
Some of these questions are actually things that I've thought about before, and I think some of the questions lead to other questions.

I don't usually respond to posts, but felt like giving my tuppence worth on this occasion, due to the fact that I have been trying to figure out the ultimate and decisive answer to the question of why people dance and why its so addictive, and whether its healthy or not!? From some of the answers given to these questions it would appear that some people think ultimately its all related to sex...or maybe my interpretation is wrong?!
I was also thinking lately, as I really am a dance enthusiast...if I reached a stage in my life where I was in a serious relationship, and someone wanted me to stop dancing, would I/could I give it up for them?

I should also say, I'm still pretty new to ceroc and the forum, and don't always feel like I'm qualified to give an opinion/thought on something, but on this occasion as some of the stuff is stuff I've been thinking about anyway, thought I'd respond.

I rammble on.......Anyway, getting to the questions...

1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers
not a one! I do kind of view ceroc in the same way I view dating at work.
A quick fling, is simpler to get when out clubbing/pubbing. That way, there's no issue in regard to awkwardness etc.
However, that's not to say if the right person/circumstance came along I would point blank refuse it cause of what I've said. I'd take the same view at work and most other formal aspects of life. I should also say that I question the possibility of faithfulness/ monogamy etc of certain MJ's because of how they dance, is that wrong of me?

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and produce baby cerocers
No idea, but I don't know if I could handle someone I was in a relationship with dancing too intimately, and obviously enjoying it. Don't know how to express this correctly, but I've seen it on the dance floor, people who are abviously attracted to each other, you can see it in their dancing, why tempt fate? Or is that my mistake again? Is that in itself unfaithfulness, partners wouldn't accept it happening if they were out clubbing, with random strangers, so what makes it ok when its actual "dancing?"

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't
I don't think it would if you go regularly. I've also had people I dated raise their eyebrows in relation to a couple of things I've said in regard to dancing. I think non MJ's just don't get it. Some of my friends think certain things that other people have said/done to me are inappropriate, where as I've just brushed them off saying, you don't get it, its not like that, it just dancing.

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?
No idea, but surely it reflects that of the real world. Which is pretty high. And you can't just compare MJ's divorce rates to non MJ's, you'd need to compare them to equivalent groups, of lively, vivacious, outgoing, sociable individuals, who are given the same opportunity as MJ's are to have their heads turned. Lets face it, some marrieds don't socialise as much as your average MJ's do, so the same level of temptation that would cause the divorce rate is removed. So its not equatable.

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer
Who know's maybe, though I would consider it unwise. As when a relationship ends, as they usually do. I like to close the door on it, and don't keep any form of contact with the individual. Seeing the individual whether "I was over them or not" would cause problmes for me. But that's just cause that's how I choose to live my life.

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community
mmm, I've noticed quite a few comments over my time on the Forum, in realtion to Gay issues, which I'm really uncomfortable with. Maybe we should check with some gay MJ's what they want. Some gay people like to be separate, some like to mix. What about bisexuals do they need to wear a label, just so certain people can feel uncomforatble around them? Really at the end of the day, what difference does the sexuality of someone make? I'm uncomfotable with some blokes that ask me to dance, cause I can tell their leering. Just cause someone is gay/bi doesn't mean they are thinkin about you in any way other than the way you are thinking about someone when you dance with them, but even if they where, is there a difference? I can't control what people think about me when they dance with me, whether they are gay/straight/bi/male or female. If gay people want a seperate night/class then fine. I would also say that given some of the views I've read on the forum a lot of gay MJ's wouldn't want to come out. And suppose for the sake of my consciense, and cause no one I know in Ceroc knows already...I'm Bi, my last long term relationship was with a girl, I'm currently with a guy. So I better put my label on and make sure anyone who is offended by me can avoid me! I really do find some of the comments on the Fotum in realtion to the Gay community quite, dare I say it offensive!

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues
Can anyone be happily married these days? In fact can anyonme be happy with their lot at all? So much commercialism and advertising, you always think your missing out on summit. Again, I think it could only be equated with a similar group of individuals.

tufty007
18th-December-2003, 07:48 PM
oops, just realise I missed the point with the last question. Why would they want to adnce at different venues? I'd be wary of this, if it was the situation, unless the fact of the matter was it was because you lived miles away from each other. But like I said, I already question certain MJ's prospects at being faithful etc, so I'd be too suspicious to let that situation last, except if there was a good reason.

Jon L
19th-December-2003, 09:56 AM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and
produce baby cerocers

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues 1) I know of three marriages in the last 12 months involving people who met at St. Mary's :)

2) We will find out ask me in 15 years time ;)

3) That for me is not applicable at present. Sadly when i have met women who met their boyfriends all to often they disappear from the ceroc scence cos he doesn't dance. :sad:

4) Sadly I have heard of a couple of marriage failures within the jive scene.
For me if I dance with someone I know is married I know there is a boundary that must not be crossed with certain types of sleazy moves (not drops and 'seducers' though which are more to do with body allignment) "You shall not commit adultery" from the 10 commandments sticks in my mind.

5) That depends on certain "other" factors

6) I'd prefer not to answer this one in open forum if that's OK

7) Yes although dancing together you should take time to do this.

Gadget
19th-December-2003, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by tufty007
I was also thinking lately, as I really am a dance enthusiast...if I reached a stage in my life where I was in a serious relationship, and someone wanted me to stop dancing, would I/could I give it up for them?
Good question; Having given it up for a year, I think that you could give up dancing, but you would miss it. Especially if you are one of these people that 'feel' music.

I get up at 6:30am and am home about 6:30pm - I get about 1/2 an hour with the kids before they should be in bed {...well, that's the plan...} and I get weekends with them. Time spent dancing is time away from them. {which is sometimes a good thing}

BUT I have no other social life or human contact appart from work (and some of them I'm not quite sure are human :what: - I work with them every day; why would I want to socialise with them?)

I only realised how much I missed it when I went back; I now consume every moment of dancing with the appitite of a starving man.

stewart38
19th-December-2003, 11:15 AM
Originally posted by Gadget

I only realised how much I missed it when I went back; I now consume every moment of dancing with the appitite of a starving man.

But does the relationship still work ?

I've been living with a partner for a few months and ceroc is 'rationed'. She doesn't dance (jive anyway) and doesn't want to she has been.

At this time of year I feel grumpy about that

It also not easy to explain why (we have a great time when we go out together etc)

On this forum its often mentioned ceroc isn't a singles club but in what other environment would you keep asking women after women (or men) to dance. I always have to look at my motives.

tufty007
19th-December-2003, 11:24 AM
I think the other issue with stopping is if you enjoy it then why would a partner want you to stop. Except if they find the concept of you getting up close and personal with someone other than them a little bit unnerving. Which to be honest I can see their point. Like I said earlier, I'm not really sure why people dance, I know I dance cause I love the music and the way it makes me feel when I dance, but I'm not entirely clear on how it makes me feel.......

And also like I said before if I was in a relationship with someone and we were in a pub/club and they started dancing provocatively with someone else, I really would have an issue with that. And I don't think I can seperate that happening in a club, from the same thing in ceroc...or is that me who's thinking of it all wrong!?

Perhaps the only answer is to be forever single, that way I can do whatever I want whenever I feel like it
:devil: :wink:

tufty007
19th-December-2003, 11:32 AM
Stewart

In relation to what your saying, I understand what you're saying. I think I've kind of touched on it indirectly in earlier posts to this thread. Like I said I love to dance and love the way it makes me feel. But I'm not sure entirely why that is? So I suppose that amounts to the same as questioning my motives in the way that you say you're having to question your motives.

Doea anyone actually have an answer to this question?

Gadget
19th-December-2003, 11:36 AM
Originally posted by tufty007
I think the other issue with stopping is if you enjoy it then why would a partner want you to stop. Except if they find the concept of you getting up close and personal with someone other than them a little bit unnerving.
The "concept" is not a problem; it's the witnessing that I try to avoid! :devil:


Originally posted by Stuart83
But does the relationship still work ?
Seems to - we've been living together for eight years or so.
[quote]I've been living with a partner for a few months and ceroc is 'rationed'. She doesn't dance (jive anyway) and doesn't want to she has been.
Probably a good thing she dosn't want to - I know that it would "seriously cramp my style" to have her watching.
I think that it would be completley different if you have a partner who loves dance as much as you do (like Mark and Rachel).

stewart38
19th-December-2003, 11:51 AM
Originally posted by Gadget

Probably a good thing she dosn't want to - I know that it would "seriously cramp my style" to have her watching.
I think that it would be completley different if you have a partner who loves dance as much as you do (like Mark and Rachel).

In a ideal world I could dance twice a week and she could do her own thing twice a week and for the other 5 days we could do our own thing together ?

In hindsite when we met I shouldn't have said I had been out with a few fellow cerocers and or they were all over 60,but then I don't lie about things like that

I under stand re the 'cramp your stlye as well'

tufty007
19th-December-2003, 11:56 AM
In hindsite when we met I shouldn't have said I had been out with a few fellow cerocers and or they were all over 60,but then I don't lie about things like that

Shouldn't you be questioning your "motives" about why with hindsight you think that would have been the correct thing to do.

'Cause whether that would have made her feel less threatened by you attending ceroc, it would have been based on false premise?! And unless you feel that you actually do have something to hide about the reasons you go.............

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 11:58 AM
Originally posted by Jon L
For me if I dance with someone I know is married I know there is a boundary that must not be crossed with certain types of sleazy moves (not drops and 'seducers' though which are more to do with body allignment) "You shall not commit adultery" from the 10 commandments sticks in my mind. Hi Jon, I'm not really picking on you here, but this is just something I've often wondered about - why should it make a difference if they're married or not?

Two things come to mind, really -
1. Surely it's alright to dance sleazily with a married person as long as they're happy with it and as long as you have no ulterior motives?

2. Would you only have this attitude towards married people? Why should other people in a steady relationship be treated differently? Or is it just because it's less obvious if they're attached?

I've said before on the forum that I still wear a wedding ring, even though I'm separated (although I have no objections to sleazy dancing!!). And it really makes such an incredible difference in people's attitude to you.

Of course, I don't lie to people who ask if I'm married but, generally, if people see someone with a wedding ring, they just say things like: 'oh, if only you weren't married', and leave it at that.

Which is nice .... But, I could quite easily get annoyed when people assume that I'm not so committed to Marc, just because I'm not married to him.

(... yet!!!)
Rachel

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 12:08 PM
Originally posted by Gadget
Probably a good thing she dosn't want to - I know that it would "seriously cramp my style" to have her watching.
I think that it would be completley different if you have a partner who loves dance as much as you do (like Mark and Rachel). It's funny - I always used to think that I'd never want to go out with someone from Ceroc because either they'd be getting annoyed if you were having 'too good a time' during a dance with someone else, or that you'd be worried about them for whatever reason.

Now I have the first few dances of the night with Marc, and then rarely see him for the rest of the night. (Every now and again I have a go at him for not saving me the last dance though ...)

I did used to get rather jealous when I saw him dancing with really stunning girls and getting Very close to them .... But I'm kind of over that now - I know it's just dancing to him and, at the end of the day, it's me he's coming home with.
Rachel

stewart38
19th-December-2003, 12:11 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
It's funny - I always used to think that I'd never want to go out with someone from Ceroc because either they'd be getting annoyed if you were having 'too good a time' during a dance with someone else, or that you'd be worried about them for whatever reason.

Now I have the first few dances of the night with Marc, and then rarely see him for the rest of the night. (Every now and again I have a go at him for not saving me the last dance though ...)

I did used to get rather jealous when I saw him dancing with really stunning girls and getting Very close to them .... But I'm kind of over that now - I know it's just dancing to him and, at the end of the day, it's me he's coming home with.
Rachel

But you said you were seperated :sick:

tufty007
19th-December-2003, 12:13 PM
Hi Jon, I'm not really picking on you here, but this is just something I've often wondered about - why should it make a difference if they're married or not?

Rachel

I have to say I'm with Jon on the marriage thing, makes a difference to me too.

Not entirely sure why, maybe its the sanctity of marriage idea and all that nonsense!

But I do feel uncomfortable getting too up close and personal with someone who is married, and whos wife attends classes, or alternatively, someone who is in a serisous relationship and who's partner attends! Reason, not entirely sure, but if someones single you can dance how you like, and no one will be bothered. But if they're married/in a serious relationship then there's possibilities for problmes to arise.

But maybe thats's more to do with me. I'm a jealous/possessive person when I'm in a relationship, and maybe cause I know I wouldn't like to have to watch something like that, I think no-one else would!

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 12:44 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
But you said you were seperated :sick: Um, yes - from my husband. Now I'm going out with Marc. Sorry if I was being confusing.

TheTramp
19th-December-2003, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by tufty007
I have to say I'm with Jon on the marriage thing, makes a difference to me too.

Not entirely sure why, maybe its the sanctity of marriage idea and all that nonsense!

But I do feel uncomfortable getting too up close and personal with someone who is married, and whos wife attends classes, or alternatively, someone who is in a serisous relationship and who's partner attends! Reason, not entirely sure, but if someones single you can dance how you like, and no one will be bothered. But if they're married/in a serious relationship then there's possibilities for problmes to arise.

But maybe thats's more to do with me. I'm a jealous/possessive person when I'm in a relationship, and maybe cause I know I wouldn't like to have to watch something like that, I think no-one else would! For me, it would be a question of trust.

You have to trust the person that you were married to (and also this applies to relationships). When you're dancing, that's all it is. Just dancing. (Least that's what it should be :D ).

If there's no trust, then there's no relationship anyhow (IMHO).

Steve

Bill
19th-December-2003, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by tufty007
Rachel


But I do feel uncomfortable getting too up close and personal with someone who is married, and whos wife attends classes, or alternatively, someone who is in a serisous relationship and who's partner attends! Reason, not entirely sure, but if someones single you can dance how you like, and no one will be bothered. But if they're married/in a serious relationship then there's possibilities for problmes to arise.



I kind of understand this but I assume most dancers only do UCP moves with people they know and trust.........regardless of their relationship status??

I usually have no idea of whether a woman is married or not or is in a steady relationship..........I never really notice a ring but if she was single then I would still only do particular moves with her if we had danced before and I knew she was happy with UCP moves.

I've only danced with one woman who enjoyed the 'bluesy' moves but indicated that althouygh she did she knew her aprtner might object so I was careful about the moves I chose.

I made a decision that I wouldn't have a relationship with a fellow cerocer when I started because of the problems that would occur when it ended ( when rather than if :rolleyes: :sick: ) I have some very good friends and have met some lovely people ( men and women) so it took a long time for me and Fran to get together and she dances and lives125 miles away !!

As Rachel says, it's only a dance and I wouldn't last very long with anyone who was the jealous type. And I was never looking for anyone so I never had any alterior motives when dancing - only to have fun and dance my little socks off :na: :D

tufty007
19th-December-2003, 01:23 PM
As Rachel says, it's only a dance and I wouldn't last very long with anyone who was the jealous type. And I was never looking for anyone so I never had any alterior motives when dancing - only to have fun and dance my little socks off

I feel the need to clarify something here. I don't dance with any other motive other than to dance, cause I love the music and the dancing. That's why I said earlier that I prob wouldn't date anyone from Ceroc. Though that's not an absolute! But, if you dance with someone and you both click on the dance floor, and this click stays with you for a long period of time, then that's something which can't be helped/avoided.

I tend to dance more reservedly with anone that I feel that I click with. Whether they feel that we click or not I have absolutely no idea?


But people do click when dancing and i feel that is something to be worried about if your partner (relationship) clicks for a period of time (long) with someone else?

Shouldn't one partner be worried if this occurs? I would be.

Also I should maybe say, when I say up close and personal, I don't mean it in the official blues way, I just mean that the type of physical contact that comes with ceroc, people in a monogomous relationship wouldn't generally find acceptable behaviour, per se

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 01:58 PM
Originally posted by tufty007
But people do click when dancing and i feel that is something to be worried about if your partner (relationship) clicks for a period of time (long) with someone else?

Shouldn't one partner be worried if this occurs? I would be.
Well, it's difficult, but the way I see it is - there's the kind of click you can get when dancing with a certain person (or people). And that 'click' can be a long-term thing and happens every time you dance with them and you miss them when they're not there one evening ... You know, when everything just feels so right dancing with them - your minds are working as one, you're both reading the music in the same way, everything just flows so perfectly and it all feels so beautifully natural.

But I still think that's harmless and it's still only dancing. Even if you're attracted to them. I'm afraid the whole rest of the world doesn't suddenly turn ugly when you start going out with someone. But that's still different from wanting to share your whole life with them.

The other kind of click goes waaaay beyond dancing - when the whole rest of the world disappears and you are the only people in existence and you look into each there's eyes and just melt.... Marc and I had that when we first saw each other at a Ceroc venue, even though we were both dancing with other people at the time. We both felt as if we knew each other intimately, even before we'd said our first words to each other. (Sorry, getting sickly now, I know!)

Yes, sometimes it is hard not to be jealous. I do notice Marc's eyes light up when he sees Zara, Lily, and several other gorgeous women at a venue. But as Tramp says, it's all trust and you've just got to go with the flow. And, in many ways, I feel flattered that he can have such amazing dances with such stunning women, but still, after all that, wants to be going out with me.

Ok, so one day Marc might have that special 'click' with someone else - but there's absolutely nothing I could do to stop that. It could just as easily happen outside ceroc. And, if it happens, well, that's it, relationship's over. But that's just the way things go. In my view, dancing is not to blame for the break up of a relationship - dancing intimately with someone doesn't give you that 'wow click' any more than seeing someone walking down the other side of the street.

If that makes any sense at all ????? Just my feelings, anyway!
Rachel

Will
19th-December-2003, 02:06 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
Yes, sometimes it is hard not to be jealous. I do notice Marc's eyes light up when he sees Zara, Lily, and several other gorgeous women at a venue.
I feel awful for mentioning this at all Rachel, especially on a public forum, but I believe that honesty is the best policy..... I have also seen Marc's eye's light up when he sees the Tramp. Now I know it's close to Christmas, I know this is a public forum, I know that there is another thread currently running in the chit chat section that could also possibly host this post, but it just seemed the right thing to do.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.

ChrisA
19th-December-2003, 02:15 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
If that makes any sense at all ????? Total and perfect sense. :cheers: :cheers: :hug:

LilyB
19th-December-2003, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
... I do notice Marc's eyes light up when he sees Zara, Lily, and several other gorgeous women at a venue .....
Rachel And David's eyes (plus that of a dozen more men) light up when they see you! :wink: :devil: :D

LilyB

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 02:20 PM
Originally posted by Will
I feel awful for mentioning this at all Rachel, especially on a public forum, but I believe that honesty is the best policy..... I have also seen Marc's eye's light up when he sees the Tramp. Now I know it's close to Christmas, I know this is a public forum, I know that there is another thread currently running in the chit chat section that could also possibly host this post, but it just seemed the right thing to do.

Our thoughts are with you at this time. Sob! ... He never told me about that! He always told me it was you he fancied but couldn't dream of sharing his life with because you support such an awful football team.

Right, that's it - Trampy, we're sending Marc up to Scotland. Take him! Take him! See if I care!
R.

TheTramp
19th-December-2003, 02:26 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
Right, that's it - Trampy, we're sending Marc up to Scotland. Take him! Take him! See if I care! How about you BRING him instead :D

Steve

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by LilyB
And David's eyes (plus that of a dozen more men) light up when they see you! :wink: :devil: :D

LilyB I should be so lucky!!! But it made me smile to read that, anyway - thanks!
R.

TheTramp
19th-December-2003, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
I should be so lucky!!! But it made me smile to read that, anyway - thanks! Well. Can't speak for the other 11. But I can guarentee that mine do.

Steve

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 02:30 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp
How about you BRING him instead :D

Steve Ooooh, are you offering a threesome? Mmm, now there's food for thought ...

Rachel
19th-December-2003, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp
Well. Can't speak for the other 11. But I can guarentee that mine do.

Steve So you do mean it about the threesome!


(I'm going to have to leave you all now and stop posting for a bit - it's already lunchtime and I've barely done any work today. Ooops ...)

TheTramp
19th-December-2003, 02:34 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
Ooooh, are you offering a threesome? Mmm, now there's food for thought ... :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

But I'm so :innocent:

Steve

ChrisA
19th-December-2003, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by LilyB
And David's eyes light up when they see you! :wink: :devil: :D

Aha... that explains another picture of David I've found...

http://193.203.244.221/images/hoodwhiteoutline.jpg

Sheepman
19th-December-2003, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp
For me, it would be a question of trust.

You have to trust the person that you were married to (and also this applies to relationships). When you're dancing, that's all it is. Just dancing. (Least that's what it should be :D ).

If there's no trust, then there's no relationship anyhow (IMHO).

Having recently celebrated a silver wedding anniversary, I would say this is spot on, but of course different people are affected in different ways. We did start dancing together, after we'd already been married some years, so I wonder if this makes a difference?

The only time I notice a ring, is if it's one that is digging into my flesh or drawing blood. My first reaction to Jon's post about dancing differently with people who are married (or in a relationship) was that it makes no difference, as it is more to do with how well you know that person, and how happy they are being UCP. Then a specific example came to mind, a friend who was single is now in a relationship, and I'm aware of a change when we dance together. I'm not sure if this change has come from me, or from her, and it maybe imperceptible to the onlooker, but my theory is that this has happened to avoid making her partner feel jealous. Now I'm struggling to think of other appropriate examples.

I know there was a time when I would only go OTT with partners I was not attracted to at all, I'm over that now :wink:

Yes there are times when you totally "click" with a partner, it even happens on the dancefloor between me and Mrs Sheepy at times :really: Some people struggle to separate this from "real" life, and I can understand concerns about faithfulness and jealousy. Does this change with the length of time you've been in a relationship? I must have fallen in love up to half a dozen times in a night, but it is short lived!! (Perhaps I should dance more with men, maybe I'd get the same feeling, then I would know it is nothing to do with sex!)

Rachel, you need to be careful how you refer to the "sleaze" thing, as on this forum it tends to have a specific meaning relating to the few (I hope) pervs who are out there. Dancing with you is sooo sexy (in a dancy way of course! I've said elsewhere my mind is only on the music and the dance), but I'm pretty sure we've never done anything sleazy - though hopefully it looked as though we did!

Greg

stewart38
19th-December-2003, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
.


Ok, so one day Marc might have that special 'click' with someone else - but there's absolutely nothing I could do to stop that. It could just as easily happen outside ceroc. And, if it happens, well, that's it, relationship's over. But that's just the way things go. In my view, dancing is not to blame for the break up of a relationship - dancing intimately with someone doesn't give you that 'wow click' any more than seeing someone walking down the other side of the street.

If that makes any sense at all ????? Just my feelings, anyway!
Rachel

The point is if your walking down the street and get the 'wow' factor you are unlikely to ask the lady to dance they would probably section you. The opportunties are greater when you dance.

There has to be trust but also I guess its up to the people in the relationship to decide where the boundaries are.

I couldn't envisage being with someone who went out 3 or 4 times a week dancing on their own but some people are happy if their partners 'swing'. I believe there are swingers clubs in the east and west (East Swing and West coas Swing ??)
:blush:

Jon L
21st-December-2003, 12:04 AM
Originally posted by Rachel
Hi Jon, I'm not really picking on you here, but this is just something I've often wondered about - why should it make a difference if they're married or not?

Two things come to mind, really -
1. Surely it's alright to dance sleazily with a married person as long as they're happy with it and as long as you have no ulterior motives?

2. Would you only have this attitude towards married people? Why should other people in a steady relationship be treated differently? Or is it just because it's less obvious if they're attached?

I've said before on the forum that I still wear a wedding ring, even though I'm separated (although I have no objections to sleazy dancing!!). And it really makes such an incredible difference in people's attitude to you.

Of course, I don't lie to people who ask if I'm married but, generally, if people see someone with a wedding ring, they just say things like: 'oh, if only you weren't married', and leave it at that.

Which is nice .... But, I could quite easily get annoyed when people assume that I'm not so committed to Marc, just because I'm not married to him.

(... yet!!!)
Rachel


Apologies for not picking up on this one until now.

As the tramp said it is matter of trust. The person who has encouraged me from day one is a married mum with two children. I know her husband and he knows it's just dancing so that's fine.

However as single man who puts bats in the fridge (cos I am a bat chiller :rofl: ) then I come across women who are married and I find attractive (I am not going to tell you who). If their husband dances then I know he will probably understand that it is just a dance and it is OK.

If he doesn't however he may not understand this concept, something in my mind thinks " what would he think if I was this close with her" and the last thing I want to do is cause a row or marrital problems


Hope this helps - dance with me anytime.

Jon

Jon L
21st-December-2003, 12:35 AM
Originally posted by Jon L
However as single man who puts bats in the fridge (cos I am a bat chiller :rofl: ) then I come across women who are married and I find attractive (I am not going to tell you who).

Jon


Oh damn....... the secrets out it's Andy McG!!!!!!!!! :what::na:

Jive Brummie
21st-December-2003, 06:21 PM
Hello people,

not married yet but do have a ceroc relationship.

Melanie and I met when I saw her 'cerocing' in a local nightclub with some fellow cerocer's. Thought to myself I fancy a bit of that!!!! (dancing and melanie:devil: :wink: ) and we've been together ever since.

Don't get me wrong, we've had our fair share of barnies, but realise that if we argue on the dance floor about a particular move or whatever, then that's where it stays. Helps being together for us though as we're often brutally honest as to what we think of each other's dancing be it good or bad. No point taking it back to our private life, it'd just cause problems.

I can see though how it might be a problem if one of us danced and the other didn't. Only in the respect of maybe going away on dance weekends and workshops etc. I guess we're just lucky that we've got this common interest.

James......x:cheers:

Heather
21st-December-2003, 08:14 PM
And a Lovely couple you are too!!!!!!:wink:

:hug: :kiss:
Heather,
XX

michael
21st-December-2003, 11:56 PM
Frightened to answer this one but somehow compelled to anyway?

When i started to go to ceroc i never had any intention of dating girls more perhaps that i could learn and then dance ceroc when out at weekends etc. Didn't know i would enjoy it that much that i rarely get the chance (none so far at all) to go out other than a ceroc dance:what:

Will a relationship with another cerocer work???? Will a relationship outside ceroc work or one inside one outside or whatever. Considering the divorce rate is currently running at around 40% to 50 % (if wrong let us all know) then we all have half a chance either way. I tend to treat happiness as something worth protecting and encouraging at every level possible.

There are numerous problems or challanges that will lie ahead for all couples whether maried or not. In ceroc the problems are just more obvious. As Trampy says trust is absolutely vital in fact it is essential. The problem with trust is that not all people place or view trust in the same way. There are loads of people that will wander or have affairs whilst married or in a relationship, there are others that will not. For those that wander ceroc is an easy way to have affairs with several people.

I value honesty trust and loyalty before all else and when i am in love (saying nothing right now!!!) my partner will never have to worry about me running off with anyone. If that applies to both couples then ceroc will pose no problems at all. Its all the other things that test your real love, like the big bad world out there.

Another factor is whether you ALLOW YOURSELF to be in such a situation that could lead you to go with someone else whilst in a marriage or relationship. A lot of people put themselves in that position, others have what i call a strong safety (shutters up defence) system that does not allow their happiness to be destroyed by temptation. We all probably have different levels of defences some might have none at all.

So exactly how long has a marriage to last or a relationship to continue before it is viewed as a success? Life or a period of years. I think the older you get the more you just take life as it comes and hope that it goes well each year.

To those out there wondering what if......... i would say stop worrying stop thinking, just enjoy.....and when you stop enjoying for whatver reason(relationship fails) then be strong, pick yourself up and think positive, cerocing is fun and a great way to meet people and dance as well. :hug:

RobC
22nd-December-2003, 08:38 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp
How about you BRING him instead :D

Steve
Hands off - we're keeping Rachel down here.
:hug: :hug:

thewacko
23rd-December-2003, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and
produce baby cerocers

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues


1. Yes:nice:
2. I can't personally due to a cetain surgical cut:sad:
3. Dangerous:what:
4. Tell you in the new year:what:
5. Yes:innocent: yes:innocent: YES:devil:
6. Over to you Jon:wink:
&. Don't know:really:

Tazmanian Devil
23rd-December-2003, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by thewacko
1. Yes
2. I can't personally due to a cetain surgical cut
3. Dangerous
4. Tell you in the new year
5. Yes:innocent: yes:innocent: YES:devil:


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:




Originally posted by thewacko
6. Over to you Jon:wink:


Look mister Jon is not gay I know you have been having certain feelings for him lately but im sorry to say he's into women not men sorry hunny :devil: :devil:

Jon
23rd-December-2003, 06:43 PM
Hey. Tha'ts enough of that theWacko. I don't know why your implying I'm gay I'm most definately not. I know you want to dance with me but hey there are plenty of other guys out there for you that will! Come to think of it you all ready tried that at a class once and got turned down didn't you :rofl: :rofl:

And thanks Taz for defending me :hug:

Lounge Lizard
23rd-December-2003, 07:52 PM
Originally posted by LilyB
And David's eyes (plus that of a dozen more men) light up when they see you! :wink: :devil: :D

LilyB
yup include me in that list :grin:

Lounge Lizard
23rd-December-2003, 08:02 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers

2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and
produce baby cerocers

3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't

4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?

5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocer

6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that community

&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venues

1 I have dated a couple of ladies I met thru dancin
2 Yup we have a couple in Hastings (who then stopped dancing)
3 Not very often it seems
4 Successful
5 Yes please
6 No
& Yes

peter - just a bit cynical

thewacko
12th-January-2004, 10:24 AM
Originally posted by stewart38
4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?



:what: Plus 1:nice: :nice: :nice:

stewart38
12th-January-2004, 10:45 AM
I think if you live with someone who doesn't dance it is very hard

I think I'll have to dig a tunnel :confused:

Dreadful Scathe
12th-January-2004, 11:51 AM
Originally posted by stewart38
1) How many people have dated fellow cerocers More than a few i would have thought - how is anyone person going to know the answer. Any employees of Gallup on here ? :) Well I have anyway, but I met her at LeRoc so it doesnt count.
Originally posted by stewart38
2) Can two little cerocers who get together last the distance and produce baby cerocers If they are of a different sex, yes. Maybe some have met up, rushed back to one of their homes in a fit of passion and conceived right away. A better question would be, whats the quickest conception! :)
Originally posted by stewart38
3) If you meet a non cerocer does the relationships last if you still want to go and they don't No, human beings are far too simplistic and such severe differences in social preference would lead to fluid loss and realy bad headaches. Put simply, the relationship would never work.
Originally posted by stewart38
4)Whats the divorce rate like in ceroc ?About £20 an hour i think.
Originally posted by stewart38
5) Would you ever want to 'date' a fellow cerocerNo, I only shag them. Except for Fi, she tries this 'conversation' thing now and again. Yeah right, like Im listening !
Originally posted by stewart38
6) Should we encourage Gay ceroc nights for that communityNo. Gay people don't need encouragement, they know they're gay already.
Originally posted by stewart38
&) Can you be happly marrried/relationship and dance at different ceroc venuesDepends if you have been electronically tagged by your spouse! Is that not two separate questions? Can you be happily married? and - Can you dance at different Ceroc Venues ? Personally, my hobby is to sleep my way round the country and go to different Ceroc venues. I do tend to get tired at night though, so it was bound to happen.

stewart38
12th-January-2004, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
More than a few i would have thought - how is anyone person going to know the answer. Ask people ? :confused:
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
About £20 an hour i think. £20 an hour ! I need that lawyer

Chicklet
12th-January-2004, 12:39 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
.No, I only shag them. Except for Fi, she tries this 'conversation' thing now and again. Yeah right, like Im listening !.

In the interests of accuracy, and on behalf of the forum at large, I have just phoned every single girl you have ever met at any branded or non-branded modern jive event to confirm or deny this self allegation DS and would you BELIEVE, not ONE will corroborate your story??!!??:what:

So I thought you should know, (while you're still almost young enough to do something about it eh?) that either you dreamed them ALL or else the events were so insignificant that they didn't register on anyone's shagometer.:tears::wink:

We all love you dearly however and look forward to patronising you in person on Friday night :hug: :kiss::innocent: :D

Dreadful Scathe
12th-January-2004, 12:57 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
We all love you dearly however and look forward to patronising you in person on Friday night :hug: :kiss::innocent: :D

wahey :rofl: :rofl:

Aleks
12th-January-2004, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
wahey :rofl: :rofl:

I'll be your first patron - I sponsor you £**&* (I'll PM you later) to attempt to register on ChickieDD's shagometer.

Chicklet
12th-January-2004, 01:21 PM
Don't you get yours for free THIS friday Aleks?????????

Aleks
12th-January-2004, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
Don't you get yours for free THIS friday Aleks?????????

FREEE????
I'll have you know I'm VERY expensive!

Minnie M
12th-January-2004, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
(... yet!!!)
Rachel

:wink:

Tazmanian Devil
15th-January-2004, 06:06 PM
Originally posted by thewacko
:what: Plus 1:nice: :nice: :nice:



You are looking very pleased with yourself hunny!! :wink:

thewacko
15th-January-2004, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by Tazmanian Devil
You are looking very pleased with yourself hunny!! :wink:

:devil: I suppose I can now also say that I would date another cerocer:drool: :drool: :drool:

bobgadjet
15th-January-2004, 09:47 PM
Originally posted by TheTramp

7) Yes. In the case of a relationship at least. Because you might well live some distance apart (I've dated someone from Norwich (living in London) before now for example). If you were married, why would you want to (on a regular basis at least).

Steve

Me too. My girl lves in Poole, me in Watford. We get together most weekends, but in the week dance at our local venues.

When we get together at weekends we have a larger circle of friends to associate with.

bobgadjet
15th-January-2004, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by Rachel

I did used to get rather jealous when I saw him dancing with really stunning girls and getting Very close to them .... But I'm kind of over that now - I know it's just dancing to him and, at the end of the day, it's me he's coming home with.
Rachel

AHA !
At last somebody got the reason for not getting uptight about their partner dancing with somebody else...

IT'S ONLY A DANCE (or that's what it's meant to be)
IT'S ONLY ABOUT 3 - 4 MINUTES (or that's what it's supposed to be)

You should only get uptight if your partner is grabbing too many dances with somebody else, or maybe perhaps, if they DON'T go home with you.

THEN you get worried I suppose ! !

As for the gay issue, what issue ?

Anybody been to the Rivoli on 1st Saturday each month?
They don't have a problem with straight people enjoying a dance or two.