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frolicols
16th-April-2009, 03:25 PM
Ok same deal as the other word games but with 7 letters. You can also go for 7 consecutive letters across two words (as long as you only change one letter).

The same words were appearing constantly in the two 5 letter threads so I figured bigger is better! Let's get started! :devil:

JiveLad
16th-April-2009, 03:56 PM
Ok same deal as the other word games but with 7 letters. You can also go for 7 consecutive letters across two words (as long as you only change one letter).

The same words were appearing constantly in the two 5 letter threads so I figured bigger is better! Let's get started! :devil:

Great idea :respect:

Yes the threads were repeating a bit. At least this gives a great opportunity for some new and tasty words which were tantalisingly out of reach in 5 or 6 letter games.

Anyway I'll try and keep abreast of the game as it develops.

:grin:

rubyred
16th-April-2009, 04:35 PM
Great idea :respect:


Anyway I'll try and keep abreast of the game as it develops.

:grin:

Threats or treats for us all Jivelad, certainly gives another reason to waste more time on here :what:

JiveLad
16th-April-2009, 05:59 PM
Threats or treats for us all Jivelad, certainly gives another reason to waste more time on here :what:

Yes - well wasting time here or wasting time on the beach perhaps at Southport, ogling the Red Wigan Warblers and some of the bathers going for a dip..

rubyred
16th-April-2009, 06:25 PM
I hear the Red Wigan Warbler gathers with her friends in the most unusual places, like sunny Southport perhaps in May, still not sure though she's sitting on the fence on this one, some Essex chicks are going I believe, are you tempted???

JiveLad
16th-April-2009, 07:42 PM
I hear the Red Wigan Warbler gathers with her friends in the most unusual places, like sunny Southport perhaps in May, still not sure though she's sitting on the fence on this one, some Essex chicks are going I believe, are you tempted???

So you want me to come? Keep tugging me with me those tempting offers and I just might come. Whatever, I'm sure there will be plenty of sun, sizzle and laughter.

Maxine
16th-April-2009, 08:39 PM
So you want me to come? Keep tugging me with me those tempting offers and I just might come. Whatever, I'm sure there will be plenty of sun, sizzle and laughter.

:eek:Oh no another game for me to spend even more of my time on (this is not counting the 17 games of scrabble that I’m playing at the moment on facebook)

Well it’s heartening to see that JL has already broken the rules on day one and made it into an 8 letter word obviously 7 isn’t enough for him. So let me take a couple of letters away and change one to make it lighter

JiveLad
16th-April-2009, 08:52 PM
:eek:Oh no another game for me to spend even more of my time on (this is not counting the 17 games of scrabble that I’m playing at the moment on facebook)

Well it’s heartening to see that JL has already broken the rules on day one and made it into an 8 letter word obviously 7 isn’t enough for him. So let me take a couple of letters away and change one to make it lighter

Oooops! :blush:

Well you know me the bigger the better - and it just got even bigger. Perhaps because it is quite tricky - we could make it flexible - so you can always change 2 letters - and add one or take one away - otherwise becomes quite slow - methinks. I guess we would have to hand over that decision to Mistress Jay Jay for a ruling.

Maybe if I play with Herclit* for a while she will accede to the request.


* That is the name of her cat. (At least that was my understanding after I saw Frolicols in the Garage and Maxine said: "it's ok - he's just playing with Herclit" - and then I noticed a pussy coming towards me).

Maxine
16th-April-2009, 09:10 PM
Oooops! :blush:

Well you know me the bigger the better - and it just got even bigger. Perhaps because it is quite tricky - we could make it flexible - so you can always change 2 letters - and add one or take one away - otherwise becomes quite slow - methinks. I guess we would have to hand over that decision to Mistress Jay Jay for a ruling.

Maybe if I play with Herclit* for a while she will accede to the request.


* That is the name of her cat. (At least that was my understanding after I saw Frolicols in the Garage and Maxine said: "it's ok - he's just playing with Herclit" - and then I noticed a pussy coming towards me).

Oh JL you do make me chortle it’s good to see you managed to bring in innuendo at such an early stage, just makes me wonder what else you can do with your 7

frolicols
16th-April-2009, 10:51 PM
Oh JL you do make me chortle it’s good to see you managed to bring in innuendo at such an early stage, just makes me wonder what else you can do with your 7

He always keeps his 7-shooter in his holster, ready to unleash and shoot and unsuspecting Essex women. They play possum, but he shoots his full load of 7 anyway...:really:

MarkW
17th-April-2009, 02:01 AM
He always keeps his 7-shooter in his holster, ready to unleash and shoot and unsuspecting Essex women. They play possum, but he shoots his full load of 7 anyway...:really:

This could be interesting. A nice way to spend time and healthier for the soul than visiting a brothel. So I'm told :blush: :what: :innocent:

Anyway, back to the saga of JL's shooter (I thought I'd go for a double entry early on and up the ante, Fro kind of hinted at the possibilty with the sly introduction of his shooter).

Next person can choose which route to take :nice:

JiveLad
17th-April-2009, 03:17 AM
This could be interesting. A nice way to spend time and healthier for the soul than visiting a brothel. So I'm told :blush: :what: :innocent:

Anyway, back to the saga of JL's shooter (I thought I'd go for a double entry early on and up the ante, Fro kind of hinted at the possibilty with the sly introduction of his shooter).

Next person can choose which route to take :nice:

Hmmm - well of course the word that comes to mind is Hooters - and those good wholesome, fun loving Hooters gals. Highly recommended if you are in the Southern states of the USA.......forget double entry - and consider a quintuple instead...........(see the girl on the right? She is holding a **** - which I gave to her as a parting gift).

http://babble.com/CS/blogs/politicalnanny/Hooters%20Panama%20City.JPG

They all have nicknames like 'Lucky', 'Bendy', 'Boobie'.....and ''Shortie' is the one in the middle. She gives really good head massages.

Maxine
17th-April-2009, 08:54 AM
Hmmm - well of course the word that comes to mind is Hooters - and those good wholesome, fun loving Hooters gals. Highly recommended if you are in the Southern states of the USA.......forget double entry - and consider a quintuple instead...........(see the girl on the right? She is holding a **** - which I gave to her as a parting gift).

http://babble.com/CS/blogs/politicalnanny/Hooters%20Panama%20City.JPG

They all have nicknames like 'Lucky', 'Bendy', 'Boobie'.....and ''Shortie' is the one in the middle. She gives really good head massages.

You leave the boys alone for 3 posts and then come back to see how it has degenerated into a boob fest. Not sure if it bothers me and certainly doesn’t surprise me; we women are just so superior

frolicols
17th-April-2009, 10:08 AM
You leave the boys alone for 3 posts and then come back to see how it has degenerated into a boob fest. Not sure if it bothers me and certainly doesn’t surprise me; we women are just so superior

Now Max, you know this forum is a hotbed of debauchery and innuendo! It was only a matter of time before boobs were mentioned. I do love a nice large pair of hotbeds!

Maxine
17th-April-2009, 01:54 PM
Now Max, you know this forum is a hotbed of debauchery and innuendo! It was only a matter of time before boobs were mentioned. I do love a nice large pair of hotbeds!

I do agree Fro that the forum is a hotbed of debauchery and innuendo but I have noticed how much you boys have boasted in the virtual world, I wonder how close it is to the truth in the real world

MarkW
17th-April-2009, 05:58 PM
I do agree Fro that the forum is a hotbed of debauchery and innuendo but I have noticed how much you boys have boasted in the virtual world, I wonder how close it is to the truth in the real world

Oh, that's so unfair :naughty:. Give us a little leeway here. Just because all I've roasted in real life are potatoes doesn't make me any less of a man.

Mind you, if your reality matches up to your word game innuendo then you've done well to hold body and soul together and I stand to attention and salute you :awe:

Maxine
18th-April-2009, 11:15 AM
Oh, that's so unfair :naughty:. Give us a little leeway here. Just because all I've roasted in real life are potatoes doesn't make me any less of a man.

Mind you, if your reality matches up to your word game innuendo then you've done well to hold body and soul together and I stand to attention and salute you :awe:

Yes MarkW I was a bit harsh

You mean everything everyone else says is made up (runs to hid the whip and handcuffs)

I thought that the truth somehow rotated with fantasy but I may be wrong

JiveLad
18th-April-2009, 12:36 PM
Yes MarkW I was a bit harsh

You mean everything everyone else says is made up (runs to hid the whip and handcuffs)

I thought that the truth somehow rotated with fantasy but I may be wrong

Hmmm......well sometimes truth is stranger than fantasy..........certainly more 'real'. From an ontological perspective I'm pretty sure that I had a relationship with darling Mildred - I have the physical and emotional scars to prove it. I remember distinctly how she danced in front of me in her pink leotard and offered me a satsuma and in return I gave her some of my banana. What is all a blur though is whether this was in the Garage - or not or even if such a place exists...............maybe we will all have to go round to Mistress JayJay's one day.

Jay Jay
18th-April-2009, 02:02 PM
Hmmm......well sometimes truth is stranger than fantasy..........certainly more 'real'. From an ontological perspective I'm pretty sure that I had a relationship with darling Mildred - I have the physical and emotional scars to prove it. I remember distinctly how she danced in front of me in her pink leotard and offered me a satsuma and in return I gave her some of my banana. What is all a blur though is whether this was in the Garage - or not or even if such a place exists...............maybe we will all have to go round to Mistress JayJay's one day.

Hey.....a new thing for me to play with.....and another word game too :wink:..I disappear for a couple of days to find this little suprise waiting for me. Nice to see I haven't been forgotten and that my little 'Herclit' got a mention.

I am also starting to believe some of the history from this thread...and I have to face dear Aunty Mildred next week and feel terribly guilty knowing the ordeals she has faced with Jivelad...and really strange that there is satsuma peel on the garage floor :confused:

Maxine
18th-April-2009, 03:47 PM
Hey.....a new thing for me to play with.....and another word game too :wink:..I disappear for a couple of days to find this little suprise waiting for me. Nice to see I haven't been forgotten and that my little 'Herclit' got a mention.

I am also starting to believe some of the history from this thread...and I have to face dear Aunty Mildred next week and feel terribly guilty knowing the ordeals she has faced with Jivelad...and really strange that there is satsuma peel on the garage floor :confused:

I hear she buys her satsumas from the same satsuma dealers as me

When I see her next week do you think it would be impolite of me to ask her about her fling with JiveLad

rubyred
18th-April-2009, 03:54 PM
I hear she buys her satsumas from the same satsuma dealers as me

When I see her next week do you think it would be impolite of me to ask her about her fling with JiveLad
Satsumas are great little healers ...or so I am told !!

JiveLad
18th-April-2009, 05:31 PM
I hear she buys her satsumas from the same satsuma dealers as me

When I see her next week do you think it would be impolite of me to ask her about her fling with JiveLad

'Fling'? Well for me it was the full enchilada. A spicy hot, racy and very tasty experience. (And that was just the snogging). And if I saw her again - well - I would hope we could rekindle our flame.


Satsumas are great little healers ...or so I am told !!

Yes - you're right. They are fruit equivalent of real sex.

MarkW
18th-April-2009, 05:36 PM
'Fling'? Well for me it was the full enchilada. A spicy hot, racy and very tasty experience. (And that was just the snogging). And if I saw her again - well - I would hope we could rekindle our flame.



Yes - you're right. They are fruit equivalent of real sex.

Your ex's oral hygiene was obviously good for you to remember the snogging so fondly.

Jay Jay
18th-April-2009, 06:21 PM
Your ex's oral hygiene was obviously good for you to remember the snogging so fondly.

She actually had a fetish for putting things in her ear :what:...word has it when anything was presented to put in her mouth she turned her head to the side but then again perhaps she relaxes more with JL :D

JiveLad
18th-April-2009, 07:21 PM
Your ex's oral hygiene was obviously good for you to remember the snogging so fondly.

Yes - that and her extra long tongue.......


She actually had a fetish for putting things in her ear :what:...word has it when anything was presented to put in her mouth she turned her head to the side but then again perhaps she relaxes more with JL :D

Yes - and generally she feels comfortable with the male sex; organ music though was of course her favourite way to relax.

Maxine
19th-April-2009, 11:26 AM
Yes - that and her extra long tongue.......



Yes - and generally she feels comfortable with the male sex; organ music though was of course her favourite way to relax.

No judging by what she writes on forum I think it email sex that she is more comfortable with

JiveLad
19th-April-2009, 11:40 AM
No judging by what she writes on forum I think it email sex that she is more comfortable with

Yeah - thing is - she told me in an email, that one of her hottest experiences was when she went round to Maxine's* and there were a couple of young men there ready, willing and more than able. Stories abound of fireman's hoses, satsumas being squeezed into all sorts of unusual places and all that kind of thing..............a den of debauchery in fact.



* Not sure if that is the same Maxine who graces our forum?

Maxine
19th-April-2009, 11:49 AM
Yeah - thing is - she told me in an email, that one of her hottest experiences was when she went round to Maxine's* and there were a couple of young men there ready, willing and more than able. Stories abound of fireman's hoses, satsumas being squeezed into all sorts of unusual places and all that kind of thing..............a den of debauchery in fact.



* Not sure if that is the same Maxine who graces our forum?

That remains a secret I’m afraid JL you will just have to draw your own conclusions

Isis
19th-April-2009, 12:26 PM
Yeah - thing is - she told me in an email, that one of her hottest experiences was when she went round to Maxine's* and there were a couple of young men there ready, willing and more than able. Stories abound of fireman's hoses, satsumas being squeezed into all sorts of unusual places and all that kind of thing..............a den of debauchery in fact.



* Not sure if that is the same Maxine who graces our forum


That remains a secret I’m afraid JL you will just have to draw your own conclusions

You mustn't put up with JL smearing your pure and innocent reputation Maxine. :innocent:

Jay Jay
20th-April-2009, 12:50 AM
You mustn't put up with JL smearing your pure and innocent reputation Maxine. :innocent:

Pure and innocent reputation........boy do you have the wrong Maxine :rofl:....but only on the dance floor you understand, after which she regains her composture and becomes the fluffy slippered, horlicks drinking housewife .......

Maxine
20th-April-2009, 08:32 AM
Pure and innocent reputation........boy do you have the wrong Maxine :rofl:....but only on the dance floor you understand, after which she regains her composture and becomes the fluffy slippered, horlicks drinking housewife .......

hanks for sharing all my private life with the forum world. The only problem is I don’t own a pair of slippers and the only horlicks I drink is yours, but your right about my dual life.

Isis
20th-April-2009, 10:01 AM
hanks for sharing all my private life with the forum world. The only problem is I don’t own a pair of slippers and the only horlicks I drink is yours, but your right about my dual life.

Wow, your exploits sound hair raising :eek:

Maxine
20th-April-2009, 12:35 PM
Wow, your exploits sound hair raising :eek:

And if only half of them were true Isis!

Rather than sparing the detail I think it’s more a case of embellishing the details

Jay Jay
20th-April-2009, 03:09 PM
And if only half of them were true Isis!

Rather than sparing the detail I think it’s more a case of embellishing the details

:doh: You mean they aren't true and it has all been a figment of my imagination...Fro in his fireman uniform, JL in the thong, MarkW in handcuffs and it all seemed so real :tears:...I need an aspirin and better go lie down for a while

Isis
20th-April-2009, 03:47 PM
:doh: You mean they aren't true and it has all been a figment of my imagination...Fro in his fireman uniform, JL in the thong, MarkW in handcuffs and it all seemed so real :tears:...I need an aspirin and better go lie down for a while

There, there. Don't get yourself in a spin :flower:

JiveLad
20th-April-2009, 04:18 PM
:doh: You mean they aren't true and it has all been a figment of my imagination...Fro in his fireman uniform, JL in the thong, MarkW in handcuffs and it all seemed so real :tears:...I need an aspirin and better go lie down for a while


There, there. Don't get yourself in a spin :flower:

Well (ahem) although it pains me to say it (in a way) - my leopard skin thong was for real - as one of the Essex groupies got a photo of it at the Utopia Twisted events. I did ask for the photo to be deleted - not sure if she is keeping it for future blackmail........:really:

Jay Jay
20th-April-2009, 04:24 PM
Well (ahem) although it pains me to say it (in a way) - my leopard skin thong was for real - as one of the Essex groupies got a photo of it at the Utopia Twisted events. I did ask for the photo to be deleted - not sure if she is keeping it for future blackmail........:really:

I know your thong was for real, she has the picture framed in full glory hanging on the wall and she has even had matching panties made.

JiveLad
20th-April-2009, 04:48 PM
I know your thong was for real, she has the picture framed in full glory hanging on the wall and she has even had matching panties made.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

frolicols
20th-April-2009, 05:42 PM
I know your thong was for real, she has the picture framed in full glory hanging on the wall and she has even had matching panties made.

That sounds very scary indeed. I'm not sure if I should be going to Camber now. I might go somewhere less deviant instead, like a Soho S&M club.... :sick::lol:

JiveLad
20th-April-2009, 06:46 PM
That sounds very scary indeed. I'm not sure if I should be going to Camber now. I might go somewhere less deviant instead, like a Soho S&M club.... :sick::lol:

:lol::lol:

Yes - the lady in question was teasing me quite a bit about it. Beware the Witches of East Essex...............

(Seriously though guys - can we move off the S&M topic for a change?
I mean there are lots of other things we could talk about.......such as.....)

Maxine
20th-April-2009, 08:22 PM
:lol::lol:

Yes - the lady in question was teasing me quite a bit about it. Beware the lovely, kind, sweet ladies of Essex...............

(Seriously though guys - can we move off the S&M topic for a change?
I mean there are lots of other things we could talk about.......such as.....)

Of course we can change the subject if you feel uncomfortable JL; we would hate to offend you and know how delicate you are and would like to invite you to the garage for a sewing club that Jay Jay is starting up.

Isis
20th-April-2009, 10:01 PM
Of course we can change the subject if you feel uncomfortable JL; we would hate to offend you and know how delicate you are and would like to invite you to the garage for a sewing club that Jay Jay is starting up.

More like a swinger club, I'll bet. :sick:

Jay Jay
21st-April-2009, 12:02 AM
More like a swinger club, I'll bet. :sick:

No I am definitely reusing the garage for something new....like Maxine said it is a sewing circle. First lesson on the itinerary is the art of pressing and mounting.

JiveLad
21st-April-2009, 05:39 AM
No I am definitely reusing the garage for something new....like Maxine said it is a sewing circle. First lesson on the itinerary is the art of pressing and mounting.

My dear JayJay, you have definitely become a top innuendoiste - I have to say you missed out the real tack though. And when you said you had a Singer in the garage - I thought you mean Auntie Mildred doing her operetta......not one of those machines. Anyway, I think Isis is right......you mean something else..........

Maxine
21st-April-2009, 08:29 AM
My dear JayJay, you have definitely become a top innuendoiste - I have to say you missed out the real tack though. And when you said you had a Singer in the garage - I thought you mean Auntie Mildred doing her operetta......not one of those machines. Anyway, I think Isis is right......you mean something else..........

I did not realise that Jay Jay had invested in a new machine and wondered what those strange whirring noises coming from the garage were

frolicols
21st-April-2009, 10:42 AM
:lol::lol:

Yes - the lady in question was teasing me quite a bit about it. Beware the Witches of East Essex...............

(Seriously though guys - can we move off the S&M topic for a change?
I mean there are lots of other things we could talk about.......such as.....)

Does one not have the staying power for a series of sado masichistic posts? ;)

Jay Jay
21st-April-2009, 01:32 PM
Does one not have the staying power for a series of sado masichistic posts? ;)

.....you've gone and stuck your post in too late or is that a problem you come across a lot :blush:...either way it's against the rules...but I'll let you off cos you are so lovely in the blues room :D...and in answer to your question obviously not :(


I did not realise that Jay Jay had invested in a new machine and wondered what those strange whirring noises coming from the garage were

...and believe me that little machine I have just purchased has brought a new dimension to the results I can get and it does greaten my achievements in the garage-sewing room, it also stops your fingers from getting sore :nice:

JiveLad
21st-April-2009, 05:21 PM
.....you've gone and stuck your post in too late or is that a problem you come across a lot :blush:...either way it's against the rules...but I'll let you off cos you are so lovely in the blues room :D...and in answer to your question obviously not :(



...and believe me that little machine I have just purchased has brought a new dimension to the results I can get and it does greaten my achievements in the garage-sewing room, it also stops your fingers from getting sore :nice:

Scene 1: The Garage.
Mistress JayJay has just completed a new outfit for JiveLad

JJ: "Now JiveLad it's time for you to try on your new outfit"
JL: "Ooooh - it looks nice Mistress J. Did you use real leather?"
JJ: "Only the best for you JiveLad"
JL: "It looks quite sexy."
JJ: "Yes - I'm feeling ready just looking at it. It's time for you to try it on."
JL: "Now?"
JJ: "Yes Jive Lad don't be shy. get your kit off!"
JL: "You sure?"
JJ: "Jive Lad quit procrastinating and just get bare!" :whip:

frolicols
21st-April-2009, 05:26 PM
Scene 1: The Garage.
Mistress JayJay has just completed a new outfit for JiveLad

JJ: "Now JiveLad it's time for you to try on your new outfit"
JL: "Ooooh - it looks nice Mistress J. Did you use real leather?"
JJ: "Only the best for you JiveLad"
JL: "It looks quite sexy."
JJ: "Yes - I'm feeling ready just looking at it. It's time for you to try it on."
JL: "Now?"
JJ: "Yes Jive Lad don't be shy. get your kit off!"
JL: "You sure?"
JJ: "Jive Lad quit procrastinating and just get bare!" :whip:
JL puts the leather clothing on.
JJ: "On second thoughts, take it off again! You looked better before!"
JL: "You don't have to ask me twice! I can hardly breathe in this thing!" :what:

Jay Jay
21st-April-2009, 05:36 PM
JL puts the leather clothing on.
JJ: "On second thoughts, take it off again! You looked better before!"
JL: "You don't have to ask me twice! I can hardly breathe in this thing!" :what:

JL takes off the outfit.
JJ: You know a leather firemans uniform really doesn't work, especially in pink.
JL: Well for a first effort it wasn't bad.
JJ: It just didn't fit well in certain areas.
JL: Well it does hearten me that you tried perhaps I should get some padding.

frolicols
21st-April-2009, 05:41 PM
JL takes off the outfit.
JJ: You know a leather firemans uniform really doesn't work, especially in pink.
JL: Well for a first effort it wasn't bad.
JJ: It just didn't fit well in certain areas.
JL: Well it does hearten me that you tried perhaps I should get some padding.
JJ: All this work has made me rather peckish!
JL: Well shall we have something to eat then?
JJ: Yes, lets! I've not got much in though. Satsuma?

JiveLad
21st-April-2009, 06:17 PM
JJ: All this work has made me rather peckish!
JL: Well shall we have something to eat then?
JJ: Yes, lets! I've not got much in though. Satsuma?

JL: "Yes please"
JJ: "How many do you want. I have a dozen"
JL: "I will have ten - save one for Maxtress and one for Frolicols to put down his underpants"

frolicols
21st-April-2009, 08:27 PM
JL: "Yes please"
JJ: "How many do you want. I have a dozen"
JL: "I will have ten - save one for Maxtress and one for Frolicols to put down his underpants"

Frolicols walks in with a large lump in his pants

JJ: Looks like he already has one in there!
F: Has what?
JL: Never mind! <Sniffs the air> Hang on?! Can you smell gas? I'm sure there's a strong smell of methane in here...

Maxine
21st-April-2009, 08:27 PM
JL: "Yes please"
JJ: "How many do you want. I have a dozen"
JL: "I will have ten - save one for Maxtress and one for Frolicols to put down his underpants"

Thanks JL it’s nice of you to give me one, in fact you have not given me one for ages

Jay Jay
21st-April-2009, 11:43 PM
Thanks JL it’s nice of you to give me one, in fact you have not given me one for ages


.... too much information :eek:


Frolicols walks in with a large lump in his pants

JJ: Looks like he already has one in there!
F: Has what?
JL: Never mind! <Sniffs the air> Hang on?! Can you smell gas? I'm sure there's a strong smell of methane in here...

JJ: Oh that would be the fermenting satsuma peels...I have started to make my own wine, powerful stuff, can I tempt you?
F: Okay, but can I have some wine first?
JL:So where is Madmax?
JJ:She'll be here soon she has promised to make us the meanest snack of all time, she wants to pack a lunchbox as good as you do.

Maxine
22nd-April-2009, 08:45 AM
.... too much information :eek:



JJ: Oh that would be the fermenting satsuma peels...I have started to make my own wine, powerful stuff, can I tempt you?
F: Okay, but can I have some wine first?
JL:So where is Madmax?
JJ:She'll be here soon she has promised to make us the meanest snack of all time, she wants to pack a lunchbox as good as you do.

You’re very lucky Jay Jay cos I’ve never been treated to JL’s lunchbox (just a nice juicy Satsuma and a little nibble on his banana. I imagine everything in it has been gently steamed

Jay Jay
22nd-April-2009, 03:11 PM
You’re very lucky Jay Jay cos I’ve never been treated to JL’s lunchbox (just a nice juicy Satsuma and a little nibble on his banana. I imagine everything in it has been gently steamed

Actually, he showed me his lunch box and boy was it packed I couldn't believe my eyes, after which I was the dampest I had ever been.... ( he had packed it with ice to keep cool and it was melting everywhere :sad:)

JiveLad
22nd-April-2009, 08:34 PM
Actually, he showed me his lunch box and boy was it packed I couldn't believe my eyes, after which I was the dampest I had ever been.... ( he had packed it with ice to keep cool and it was melting everywhere :sad:)

Well that reminds me of the time Mildred showed me what was in her lunch box. She was a hungry gal -and I could see that everything was bursting to get out........so she beckoned me towards her - then she opened up and WHAM! her baps met me clean in the face. Never seen anything like it - they were a kind of Italian rustic variety and she had filled them with plenty of sausage meat and some creamy dressing to finish them off. Tasted nice when she shared them around.

Maxine
22nd-April-2009, 08:51 PM
Well that reminds me of the time Mildred showed me what was in her lunch box. She was a hungry gal -and I could see that everything was bursting to get out........so she beckoned me towards her - then she opened up and WHAM! her baps met me clean in the face. Never seen anything like it - they were a kind of Italian rustic variety and she had filled them with plenty of sausage meat and some creamy dressing to finish them off. Tasted nice when she shared them around.

JL you really are a generous guy. You seem to share your lunchbox with most of the ladies. Just one word of advice ladies like a nice firm salami but spam just is not popular

Jay Jay
22nd-April-2009, 11:35 PM
JL you really are a generous guy. You seem to share your lunchbox with most of the ladies. Just one word of advice ladies like a nice firm salami but spam just is not popular

Can't wait to discuss JL with dear old aunty Mildred on Sunday, but I may wait until she has put her gin and tonic down otherwise there may be a little baptism going on when she pours it over my head :sick:

Maxine
23rd-April-2009, 08:28 AM
Can't wait to discuss JL with dear old aunty Mildred on Sunday, but I may wait until she has put her gin and tonic down otherwise there may be a little baptism going on when she pours it over my head :sick:

Funny I never realised that the Jacob’s family converted to be Baptists, shall be fun to observe on Sunday

PS I have so much to ask you dear Aunty Mildred on Sunday, can’t wait for the answers

JiveLad
23rd-April-2009, 01:13 PM
Funny I never realised that the Jacob’s family converted to be Baptists, shall be fun to observe on Sunday

PS I have so much to ask you dear Aunty Mildred on Sunday, can’t wait for the answers

Act 1
Scene 2: JayJay's house. Friends and relatives are there and JiveLad has turned up for lunch.

"Hello Auntie"
"Hello JayJay"
"I'd like to introduce my new friend JiveLad" says JayJay
"Oh no, not that tit"
<gasp> from the assembled group.
"Yes - but he was your lover wasn't he?"

Maxine
23rd-April-2009, 01:54 PM
Act 1
Scene 2: JayJay's house. Friends and relatives are there and JiveLad has turned up for lunch.

"Hello Auntie"
"Hello JayJay"
"I'd like to introduce my new friend JiveLad" says JayJay
"Oh no, not that tit"
<gasp> from the assembled group.
"Yes - but he was your lover wasn't he?"

Poor Jay Jay got a pasting From Mildred for allowing JL to attend the lunch and possibly spill the beans on their illicit affair(although Lou seemed blissfully unaware whilst tucking in to his salt beef on rye(with mustard and pickle cucumber) ), Jay Jay said Ok Aunty M don’t get your knitted bloomers in a twist

frolicols
23rd-April-2009, 02:18 PM
Poor Jay Jay got a pasting From Mildred for allowing JL to attend the lunch and possibly spill the beans on their illicit affair(although Lou seemed blissfully unaware whilst tucking in to his salt beef on rye(with mustard and pickle cucumber) ), Jay Jay said Ok Aunty M don’t get your knitted bloomers in a twist

To which Aunty M replied, I won't get my knickers in a twist as long as you sort out cleaning that garage of yours! It looks like a pigsty in there!

Maxine
24th-April-2009, 08:35 AM
To which Aunty M replied, I won't get my knickers in a twist as long as you sort out cleaning that garage of yours! It looks like a pigsty in there!


She was not normally a drama queen but on this occasion she certainly did upstage Jay Jay

:doh:Oh no not again I’ve changed 2 letters: it must be my age, pity about that.

JiveLad
24th-April-2009, 09:18 AM
She was not normally a drama queen but on this occasion she certainly did upstage Jay Jay

:doh:Oh no not again I’ve changed 2 letters: it must be my age, pity about that.

Well maybe you just need a good long sleep. Will you be able to get a kip later - snoozing in your office perhaps after a boozy Friday lunch?

Jay Jay
24th-April-2009, 10:24 PM
Well maybe you just need a good long sleep. Will you be able to get a kip later - snoozing in your office perhaps after a boozy Friday lunch?


Spend time sleeping :doh: when there is this wonderful taglike game to play, how boring. I'll have to come round and spill some fruity juice on you to keep you up :really: otherwise there will be no one to play with :tears:

JiveLad
25th-April-2009, 08:01 AM
Spend time sleeping :doh: when there is this wonderful taglike game to play, how boring. I'll have to come round and spill some fruity juice on you to keep you up :really: otherwise there will be no one to play with :tears:

Spill some fruit juice on me to keep me up? Well, I might prefer some kind of oil perhaps in that situation. In return, perhaps I could give you Jive Lad's patented 'VAG Lite'* massage experience. It has been passed down through generations of masters and I was lucky enough to attend a class with Mildred** in the early days, when Master O.R. Gassam from Indonesia was leading it.


* Vibrant And Gentle

** She absolutely loved it - and said it was "life enhancing".

Maxine
25th-April-2009, 10:26 AM
Spill some fruit juice on me to keep me up? Well, I might prefer some kind of oil perhaps in that situation. In return, perhaps I could give you Jive Lad's patented 'VAG Lite'* massage experience. It has been passed down through generations of masters and I was lucky enough to attend a class with Mildred** in the early days, when Master O.R. Gassam from Indonesia was leading it.


* Vibrant And Gentle

** She absolutely loved it - and said it was "life enhancing".

I know the one you mean JL I just never associated it with you. I noticed whilst reading Orgasms Today magazine, that it has been updated into some new funky colours I like the VAG Yellow but my favourite is the VAG Lime (very classy) and comes with a special offer of a free spray tan (it’s called the Essex deal).

Jay Jay
25th-April-2009, 01:43 PM
I know the one you mean JL I just never associated it with you. I noticed whilst reading Orgasms Today magazine, that it has been updated into some new funky colours I like the VAG Yellow but my favourite is the VAG Lime (very classy) and comes with a special offer of a free spray tan (it’s called the Essex deal).

You are leaving out the best bit though as it states in the magazine, of which I am a regular reader, that the Vag Lime is totally edible...how divine, the icing on the cake so to speak

Maxine
25th-April-2009, 02:37 PM
You are leaving out the best bit though as it states in the magazine, of which I am a regular reader, that the Vag Lime is totally edible...how divine, the icing on the cake so to speak



I know and my wardrobe is heaving with different flavours but I’m still bombarding the manufactures with requests to bring out a satsuma flavour model

Jay Jay
27th-April-2009, 02:14 PM
I know and my wardrobe is heaving with different flavours but I’m still bombarding the manufactures with requests to bring out a satsuma flavour model

I have found some 'satsuma' body lotion have been heaping it on after my showers to the delight of my garage visitors, smells divine........

Maxine
27th-April-2009, 08:53 PM
I have found some 'satsuma' body lotion have been heaping it on after my showers to the delight of my garage visitors, smells divine........

You’re just trying to make me jealous but you may reaping what you sow

JiveLad
28th-April-2009, 11:05 AM
I have found some 'satsuma' body lotion have been heaping it on after my showers to the delight of my garage visitors, smells divine........


You’re just trying to make me jealous but you may reaping what you sow

And maybe if you play your cards right, you will reap a Prince from some far away land*


* like Hertfordshire

Maxine
28th-April-2009, 12:38 PM
And maybe if you play your cards right, you will reap a Prince from some far away land*


* like Hertfordshire

Well we are much more likely to find a prince in Essex, as the former capital of England and in 1189 was given English Royal Charter by Richard I. All that remains that pertains to being the capital is that certain parts of this wonderful historical county are the capital of Chav, home of white stilettos and the fake tan

Jay Jay
28th-April-2009, 05:36 PM
Well we are much more likely to find a prince in Essex, as the former capital of England and in 1189 was given English Royal Charter by Richard I. All that remains that pertains to being the capital is that certain parts of this wonderful historical county are the capital of Chav, home of white stilettos and the fake tan

My, my I didn't know you were so learned about the history of Essex, I am impressed...the only thing I know for certain is that Jade Goody, our Chav Queen was buried nearby.

Maxine
29th-April-2009, 08:54 AM
My, my I didn't know you were so learned about the history of Essex, I am impressed...the only thing I know for certain is that Jade Goody, our Chav Queen was buried nearby.

Yes the final curtain has fallen for that particular Essex export

Don't it make you proud

JiveLad
29th-April-2009, 12:00 PM
Yes the final curtain has fallen for that particular Essex export

Don't it make you proud

As proud as a freshly made currant bun would be in the mouth of a fresh Essex maid.

Maxine
29th-April-2009, 12:48 PM
As proud as a freshly made currant bun would be in the mouth of a fresh Essex maid.


Well at the current this Essex Maid is trying to put only wholesome organic Produce in her mouth

Jay Jay
30th-April-2009, 12:40 AM
Well at the current this Essex Maid is trying to put only wholesome organic Produce in her mouth


Something you bought over the counter or is it home grown? I hear JL grows his own these days.

Maxine
30th-April-2009, 08:40 AM
Something you bought over the counter or is it home grown? I hear JL grows his own these days.

Yes I have now stood up to be counted but sadly the only thing growing in my garden at the moment seems to be weeds, so it’s off to the shops for me. As for JL I hear he is quite handy on the organic front but it could be just rumours

JiveLad
30th-April-2009, 11:48 AM
Yes I have now stood up to be counted but sadly the only thing growing in my garden at the moment seems to be weeds, so it’s off to the shops for me. As for JL I hear he is quite handy on the organic front but it could be just rumours

Yes - well I do specialise in fresh organic creams for the body. They are quite nice to rub into your body after some exercise - for example it was very pleasurable to do it after I had mounted a young filly the other week, and been riding for quite a while.

Maxine
1st-May-2009, 08:44 AM
Yes - well I do specialise in fresh organic creams for the body. They are quite nice to rub into your body after some exercise - for example it was very pleasurable to do it after I had mounted a young filly the other week, and been riding for quite a while.

I see you like to spread your pleasures out JL, where others would have had a remount by now

JiveLad
4th-May-2009, 12:07 PM
I see you like to spread your pleasures out JL, where others would have had a remount by now

Yes - I do. And imagine my surprise this morning when this happened........I had heard rumours that 'The Garage' were going on tour. Anyway, this morning I was just minding my own business - when.........

N9rQmVKKauw

Let me guess - were you a mentor to Mistress JayJay?

Maxine
4th-May-2009, 12:28 PM
Yes - I do. And imagine my surprise this morning when this happened........I had heard rumours that 'The Garage' were going on tour. Anyway, this morning I was just minding my own business - when.........

N9rQmVKKauw

Let me guess - were you a mentor to Mistress JayJay?



This is just hilarious Jive Lad you are a genius:respect:, I have tears of laughter running down my cheeks. In answer to your question I think I’m more of a torment to her, especially when breaking the rules

Jay Jay
4th-May-2009, 01:19 PM
This is just hilarious Jive Lad you are a genius:respect:, I have tears of laughter running down my cheeks. In answer to your question I think I’m more of a torment to her, especially when breaking the rules

I have to say that is the funniest thing I have seen.......JL you have surpassed yourself this time, I don't think I can top it :respect:....but I have to say if I had known you had hidden cameras I would never have taken the 'Garage on Tour' to St Albans :naughty: naughty naughty, you little monster you

rubyred
4th-May-2009, 03:39 PM
ABSOULUTELY FABULOUS as always Jivelad you make me laugh:rofl::rofl:


I have to say that is the funniest thing I have seen.......JL you have surpassed yourself this time, I don't think I can top it :respect:....but I have to say if I had known you had hidden cameras I would never have taken the 'Garage on Tour' to St Albans :naughty: naughty naughty, you little monster you
Definitely a hidden camera there somewhere, Jay Jay is obviously a great preformer :wink:And Jivelad you obviously position it in a very secret location as look like a very eager naughty mobster, sitting up all perky and erect.:rofl:

Jay Jay
4th-May-2009, 11:47 PM
ABSOULUTELY FABULOUS as always Jivelad you make me laugh:rofl::rofl:


Definitely a hidden camera there somewhere, Jay Jay is obviously a great preformer :wink:And Jivelad you obviously position it in a very secret location as look like a very eager naughty mobster, sitting up all perky and erect.:rofl:

Pure erotism the way I just kicked off the slippers..........

Jay Jay
5th-May-2009, 12:58 PM
Pure erotism the way I just kicked off the slippers..........

.....can't get to watch it at all now, out of interest how to I get the senders permission to see it again?........I need cheering up

JiveLad
5th-May-2009, 01:15 PM
Pure erotism the way I just kicked off the slippers..........

And said: "Now it is time for you to come Sir Jive Lad".

(I've re-opened it up for the world to view).

Maxine
5th-May-2009, 01:39 PM
And said: "Now it is time for you to come Sir Jive Lad".

(I've re-opened it up for the world to view).

Then she said don’t be shy JiveLad I need to see what the cover is hiding, because I’m not sure if that is a book you have there or you are pleased to see me

rubyred
6th-May-2009, 12:19 AM
Then she said don’t be shy JiveLad I need to see what the cover is hiding, because I’m not sure if that is a book you have there or you are pleased to see me
He's gone all coverts and right under covers
Me thinks he has much to discover,
As she kicked her shoes all hither and tither
Poor JiveLad went into a right dither.

rubyred
6th-May-2009, 12:24 AM
come Sir



cover is

Excuse me chaps and chapesses, two words !!!!:naughty::naughty: :whip::whip:

JiveLad
6th-May-2009, 07:51 AM
Excuse me chaps and chapesses, two words !!!!:naughty::naughty: :whip::whip:


He's gone all coverts and right under covers
Me thinks he has much to discover,
As she kicked her shoes all hither and tither
Poor JiveLad went into a right dither.

Look here little Miss Wigan Warbler :wink: - there is no need to overact by adding 2 whips.......I know how you crave to be in control - however, it is an unwritten rule in the 7 letter game that 2 words can be fine. :D

After all, without 2 words, Sir Jive Lad would not have been able to 'come' when Mistress JayJay did her striptease........and would have gone into a dither (but he didn't).

The only way to extricate yourself now, is to perform a striptease a la Mistress JayJay...............is that ok?

rubyred
6th-May-2009, 09:09 AM
Look here little Miss Wigan Warbler :wink: - there is no need to overact by adding 2 whips.......I know how you crave to be in control - however, it is an unwritten rule in the 7 letter game that 2 words can be fine. :D

After all, without 2 words, Sir Jive Lad would not have been able to 'come' when Mistress JayJay did her striptease........and would have gone into a dither (but he didn't).

The only way to extricate yourself now, is to perform a striptease a la Mistress JayJay...............is that ok?

Two whips good, Two words bad !!

Oooo!! Do you think I would be so brave to try and follow Mistress JayJay, she is definitely more used to preforming than me, it's all in the way she kicked those shoes...hard act to follow!!!!! :wink:

Maxine
6th-May-2009, 09:10 AM
Look here little Miss Wigan Warbler :wink: - there is no need to overact by adding 2 whips.......I know how you crave to be in control - however, it is an unwritten rule in the 7 letter game that 2 words can be fine. :D

After all, without 2 words, Sir Jive Lad would not have been able to 'come' when Mistress JayJay did her striptease........and would have gone into a dither (but he didn't).

The only way to extricate yourself now, is to perform a striptease a la Mistress JayJay...............is that ok?


I’ve never seen a request as overt as this JL to get Rubyred naked but it’s in your hands (which I understand is often the case) and await your next production

rubyred
6th-May-2009, 09:19 AM
I’ve never seen a request as overt as this JL to get Rubyred naked but it’s in your hands (which I understand is often the case) and await your next production
Oh the dilemma he has to solve it soon, but The Red Wigan Wharbler tends to be a bird who is very shy and retiring and quiet:wink::D

Jay Jay
7th-May-2009, 01:05 AM
Oh the dilemma he has to solve it soon, but The Red Wigan Wharbler tends to be a bird who is very shy and retiring and quiet:wink::D


Shy and retiring :eyebrow: that's not the impression I got from the conversation we had in the toilets the other night :blush:...you little minx

Maxine
7th-May-2009, 08:51 AM
Shy and retiring :eyebrow: that's not the impression I got from the conversation we had in the toilets the other night :blush:...you little minx

Yes it is funny what one learns whilst one loiters around the toilets

JiveLad
7th-May-2009, 10:41 AM
Yes it is funny what one learns whilst one loiters around the toilets

Yes - a few years ago I was 'loitering' at an esteemed scientific institution and heard plans about the cloning of the Red Wigan Warbler. Well, I followed this and got involved with the Professor who was experimenting with it. Eventually, it succeeded - and I got to know the clones quite well - and helped to train them to dance. This resulted in the following performance - which was one of the loftier heights of the experience.....

s2CLvbZ1RvA

rubyred
7th-May-2009, 01:35 PM
:respect::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I am laughing so much I can't think of a seven letter word to go with whatever....JiveLad that is just fantastic you are a genius and you always bring a smile to my face. My wee Irish mammy would have been so proud.
Thank you :hug:

Jay Jay
7th-May-2009, 03:13 PM
Even better on a big screen :rofl:JL you have earned the title of 'Thread Director' and you can perch on one of those chairs with your name on the back :respect:....who needs retinol when you can make us look so good and be able to do thiings we never imagined we could :D

rubyred
7th-May-2009, 07:11 PM
Even better on a big screen :rofl:JL you have earned the title of 'Thread Director' and you can perch on one of those chairs with your name on the back :respect:....who needs retinol when you can make us look so good and be able to do thiings we never imagined we could :D
yes we don't know what loiters about out there for us on the old you tube, but aren't the surprises great:clap:

Maxine
8th-May-2009, 08:26 AM
JiveLad, you’ve done it again, sooo funny and so camp, just pure genius:rofl::rofl::rofl:


yes we don't know what loiters about out there for us on the old you tube, but aren't the surprises great:clap:


But until she gets discovered and becomes a world famous porn star she will just have to soldier on with the day job

rubyred
9th-May-2009, 10:56 PM
JiveLad, you’ve done it again, sooo funny and so camp, just pure genius:rofl::rofl::rofl:




But until she gets discovered and becomes a world famous porn star she will just have to soldier on with the day job
She lives in hope :rolleyes:but meantine she needs to keep practising and keep in shape so her special skills don't become moldier.

Maxine
11th-May-2009, 08:39 AM
She lives in hope :rolleyes:but meantine she needs to keep practising and keep in shape so her special skills don't become moldier.


Yes I agree in fact I think we should remould her into this new role; I think it suits her

Jay Jay
11th-May-2009, 01:31 PM
Yes I agree in fact I think we should remould her into this new role; I think it suits her

We don't need to remould her cos Jivelad now has the ability of cloning us, JL can you remodel me and then make 5, one for the washing, one for the cleaning, one for the ironing, one for the cooking and one spare for whatever :wink:

JiveLad
11th-May-2009, 05:03 PM
We don't need to remould her cos Jivelad now has the ability of cloning us, JL can you remodel me and then make 5, one for the washing, one for the cleaning, one for the ironing, one for the cooking and one spare for whatever :wink:

Ok - although obviously it will be at my usual rates (with discount for baaaad behaviour* on the dance floor of course) - I require you to influence the powers that be in Essex, to make me the 13th Duke of Chigwell. If not, that, then I expect at least an earldom.


* If you require any tips on that, then please see Mad Baaad Max (she is able to tickle many a man's fancy).

PS Please send me a big smiley photo yourself by return (clothing optional :grin:).

rubyred
11th-May-2009, 05:56 PM
Ok - although obviously it will be at my usual rates (with discount for baaaad behaviour* on the dance floor of course) - I require you to influence the powers that be in Essex, to make me the 13th Duke of Chigwell. If not, that, then I expect at least an earldom.


* If you require any tips on that, then please see Mad Baaad Max (she is able to tickle many a man's fancy).

PS Please send me a big smiley photo yourself by return (clothing optional :grin:).

You know that reminds me of my Aunty Deloras, she had a run in with 12th Duke of Chigwell, he was hiring out his services as Nude Duke Cleaning Services, she hired him for the day and he's been feeling washed out ever since. If you're following in his footsteps, make sure you've got plenty of stiff bristles in your brush JiveLad to keep up my Aunty Deloras, she's very houseproud !!:wink:

JiveLad
11th-May-2009, 06:29 PM
You know that reminds me of my Aunty Deloras, she had a run in with 12th Duke of Chigwell, he was hiring out his services as Nude Duke Cleaning Services, she hired him for the day and he's been feeling washed out ever since. If you're following in his footsteps, make sure you've got plenty of stiff bristles in your brush JiveLad to keep up my Aunty Deloras, she's very houseproud !!:wink:

Oh! You mean Deloras Vorderwoman? Yes - we used to practice together at the Royal Ba'lay School for aspiring dancers. She was quite a strong as the Duke obviously discovered as well - and as you will see below in this rare footage of me and her - she had Jive Lad over a barrel for a while. (Limited availability for 3 days - then it is off YouTube!).

dLVLp7XELX0

rubyred
11th-May-2009, 06:48 PM
Oh! You mean Deloras Vorderwoman? Yes - we used to practice together at the Royal Ba'lay School for aspiring dancers. She was quite a strong as the Duke obviously discovered as well - and as you will see below in this rare footage of me and her - she had Jive Lad over a barrel for a while. (Limited availability for 3 days - then it is off YouTube!).

dLVLp7XELX0
:rofl::rofl:

Almost as good as Mrs Overall and her macaroons, poor Deloras Vordawoman looks like she's dunked a few macaroons to get that strength, JiveLad looks like he's curve man.

Acorn Antiques - The Musical - Macaroons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08eKINR5TKA&feature=related)

Maxine
11th-May-2009, 08:00 PM
:rofl::rofl:

Almost as good as Mrs Overall and her macaroons, poor Deloras Vordawoman looks like she's dunked a few macaroons to get that strength, JiveLad looks like he's curve man.

Acorn Antiques - The Musical - Macaroons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08eKINR5TKA&feature=related)

Certainly looks like she has left her detox far behind. :rofl::rofl:Another funny film JL but I fear a revolt if you take it off in 3 days

PS Rubyred there is nothing wrong with a man who appreciates curves:grin:

rubyred
11th-May-2009, 08:25 PM
Certainly looks like she has left her detox far behind. :rofl::rofl:Another funny film JL but I fear a revolt if you take it off in 3 days

PS Rubyred there is nothing wrong with a man who appreciates curves:grin:
I think I may have retold this story a few times, I love my curves and don't intend to lose them. Men that love curves are just wonderful in my eyes.:awe:

Maxine
11th-May-2009, 08:50 PM
I think I may have retold this story a few times, I love my curves and don't intend to lose them. Men that love curves are just wonderful in my eyes.:awe:


A man who likes a woman to be curvy and older is just perfect in my eyes:awe: (just need to meet him now:sick:)

PS as you reduced it to 6 letters I took away one and added 2 executive decision

frolicols
12th-May-2009, 11:41 AM
A man who likes a woman to be curvy and older is just perfect in my eyes:awe: (just need to meet him now:sick:)

PS as you reduced it to 6 letters I took away one and added 2 executive decision

I certainly know of one. He occasionally appears at Berko and loiters around the Blues room looking for suitable prey... He was the hunted, but now has become the hunter! :devil:

Maxine
12th-May-2009, 01:17 PM
I certainly know of one. He occasionally appears at Berko and loiters around the Blues room looking for suitable prey... He was the hunted, but now has become the hunter! :devil:

You’ll have to introduce me to this potentially perfect man; I would definitely risk one dance or three

rubyred
12th-May-2009, 05:19 PM
You’ll have to introduce me to this potentially perfect man; I would definitely risk one dance or three
And you might decide to kiss one two or three:D

Maxine
13th-May-2009, 08:47 AM
And you might decide to kiss one two or three:D

:D:DWhat a nice idea and I suppose it’s ok since this is just a virtual world:wink: – um shame

tarragon
13th-May-2009, 11:06 AM
:D:DWhat a nice idea and I suppose it’s ok since this is just a virtual world:wink: – um shame

That would be soo nice!!!

frolicols
13th-May-2009, 01:09 PM
:D:DWhat a nice idea and I suppose it’s ok since this is just a virtual world:wink: – um shame


That would be soo nice!!!

Are you mad??! Everyone knows that's how you catch cooties! :lol::awe:

JiveLad
13th-May-2009, 02:44 PM
Are you mad??! Everyone knows that's how you catch cooties! :lol::awe:

Yeah...........or something worse.......you know those Essex Sharks have got BIG sharp teeth.

10267

Maybe better to have your scooter handy - ready to make a quick exit from the Bay of Berkhamstead.

rubyred
13th-May-2009, 02:57 PM
Yeah...........or something worse.......you know those Essex Sharks have got BIG sharp teeth.

10267

Maybe better to have your scooter handy - ready to make a quick exit from the Bay of Berkhamstead.
Ah taking the old scooner out on the bay again JiveLad, how it elevates your chav status !!!:lol:

JiveLad
13th-May-2009, 04:48 PM
Ah taking the old scooner out on the bay again JiveLad, how it elevates your chav status !!!:lol:

:lol::lol: Actually, the hunk in the picture is none other than Mr. Hunky Hertfordshire 2009 - Ladies and Gentlemen - I give you: FROLICOLS.

(It's nice to be confused with a young stud like Mr. Frolicols though!).

The similarity is, I guess that we both get a high score in the league of "Ceroc guys you'd like to have rub oil all over your naked body whilst lying on the beach in a tropical island, having a 'Sex on the beach' cocktail' according to ratings given by a random sample of Essex housewives*


* survey performed at Berkhamstead, April 2009, sample size = 3, usual standard (and some very non-standard) deviatations apply.

frolicols
13th-May-2009, 05:14 PM
:lol::lol: Actually, the hunk in the picture is none other than Mr. Hunky Hertfordshire 2009 - Ladies and Gentlemen - I give you: FROLICOLS.

(It's nice to be confused with a young stud like Mr. Frolicols though!).

The similarity is, I guess that we both get a high score in the league of "Ceroc guys you'd like to have rub oil all over your naked body whilst lying on the beach in a tropical island, having a 'Sex on the beach' cocktail' according to ratings given by a random sample of Essex housewives*


* survey performed at Berkhamstead, April 2009, sample size = 3, usual standard (and some very non-standard) deviatations apply.

I must confess I did have a little snicker at that lovely photo you made! Althought with my profile pic on here of me actually rowing a boat, it may have been easier to put the shark into that and not vice versa!!!

Maxine
13th-May-2009, 07:57 PM
.or something worse.......you know those Essex Sharks have got BIG sharp teeth.

[.



according to ratings given by a random sample of Essex housewives*


.

Leave the noble county of Essex alone or I may have to make a prohibited to mention sticker:naughty::angry:


I must confess I did have a little snicker at that lovely photo you made! Althought with my profile pic on here of me actually rowing a boat, it may have been easier to put the shark into that and not vice versa!!!

Bit worried about your picture Fro it looks like a ride at Universal Studios that went wrong or maybe JiveLad is trying to get rid of his Young Hertfordshire word game rival :whistle:

rubyred
13th-May-2009, 10:06 PM
Leave the noble county of Essex alone or I may have to make a prohibited to mention sticker:naughty::angry:



Bit worried about your picture Fro it looks like a ride at Universal Studios that went wrong or maybe JiveLad is trying to get rid of his Young Hertfordshire word game rival :whistle:
Oh you two could be brothers, now I bet you both could have a bit of fun with that . I am sure there was a story on here about the twin girls or another thread. :naughty:As for leaving the Noble county of Essex don't you have to buy tickets to get out!!:lol:

Jay Jay
14th-May-2009, 12:37 AM
Oh you two could be brothers, now I bet you both could have a bit of fun with that . I am sure there was a story on here about the twin girls or another thread. :naughty:As for leaving the Noble county of Essex don't you have to buy tickets to get out!!:lol:

That is the sickest part about it, once you have lived in the county you cannot leave...you are known forever as that woman from Essex

Maxine
14th-May-2009, 09:36 AM
That is the sickest part about it, once you have lived in the county you cannot leave...you are known forever as that woman from Essex

All it takes is a few unkind words and then we are tarred with the same brush:sad:

MarkW
14th-May-2009, 09:19 PM
All it takes is a few unkind words and then we are tarred with the same brush:sad:

Do you mean like that jolly football chant that begins "Posh Spice: she takes it ..."? :eek:

rubyred
15th-May-2009, 12:01 AM
Do you mean like that jolly football chant that begins "Posh Spice: she takes it ..."? :eek:
OOOOO!!!! a lot kinder than 'fakes it 'now none of the mistresses would do that ha !!:wink:













Can I be a Mistress now :tantrum:

Maxine
15th-May-2009, 08:58 AM
OOOOO!!!! a lot kinder than 'fakes it 'now none of the mistresses would do that ha



Can I be a Mistress now :tantrum:

Of course you can be a mistress now, especially as Jay Jay has been so quiet and me with my rule breaking makes it imperative that you step in

JiveLad
18th-May-2009, 07:34 AM
Of course you can be a mistress now, especially as Jay Jay has been so quiet and me with my rule breaking makes it imperative that you step in

Well hold on a minute. Iin my role of 'breaking in' potential new Mistresses for the Garage, you could ask me if it is ok first! I need to make sure that the Red Wigan Warbler is 'match fit' and ready for action.

rubyred
18th-May-2009, 08:44 PM
Well hold on a minute. Iin my role of 'breaking in' potential new Mistresses for the Garage, you could ask me if it is ok first! I need to make sure that the Red Wigan Warbler is 'match fit' and ready for action.
It never fails me when I say .......Mon chéri, petit Wigan Rouge Wharbler est un oiseau mystérieusement sexy qui apporte beaucoup de fait d'être heureux où qu'elle enfile ses pieds de danse délicats.:flower:

Maxine
19th-May-2009, 09:24 AM
It never fails me when I say .......Mon chéri, petit Wigan Rouge Wharbler est un oiseau mystérieusement sexy qui apporte beaucoup de fait d'être heureux où qu'elle enfile ses pieds de danse délicats.:flower:

I’m sure that JL will not be able to resist the sexy mysterious bird with delicate dance feet, in fact the rumours are that an acceptance email is on its way

rubyred
19th-May-2009, 09:32 AM
I’m sure that JL will not be able to resist the sexy mysterious bird with delicate dance feet, in fact the rumours are that an acceptance email is on its way
Sounds so sultry in French, but then maybe he is a maleist after all.!!

Jay Jay
19th-May-2009, 11:02 PM
Sounds so sultry in French, but then maybe he is a maleist after all.!!

I've been away playing with myself for a while you lot are playing with another language, save the details I can play that game too...."Sono indietro ed affamato per divertimento!"

rubyred
19th-May-2009, 11:42 PM
I've been away playing with myself for a while you lot are playing with another language, save the details I can play that game too...."Sono indietro ed affamato per divertimento!"
Hungry for fun are you now, the Italian language is so sexy, I could say so much more but I don't want to risk the wrath of the moderator who deleats posts on the forum for their risky content... :whistle:

Maxine
20th-May-2009, 08:38 AM
Hungry for fun are you now, the Italian language is so sexy, I could say so much more but I don't want to risk the wrath of the moderator who deleats posts on the forum for their risky content... :whistle:

It really defeats the purpose if the moderator deletes our posts but luckily for us I have it on good authority that the moderators don’t check the word games:clap::D

rubyred
21st-May-2009, 11:09 PM
It really defeats the purpose if the moderator deletes our posts but luckily for us I have it on good authority that the moderators don’t check the word games:clap::D
Good job too with all the sex, beer and rock and roll on here, I think moderation just serves to deflate the fun, long live excess !!

Maxine
22nd-May-2009, 08:32 AM
Good job too with all the sex, beer and rock and roll on here, I think moderation just serves to deflate the fun, long live excess !!

I do enjoy a bit of anarchy, anyway if they start looking now it will be a bit belated

rubyred
22nd-May-2009, 10:12 AM
I do enjoy a bit of anarchy, anyway if they start looking now it will be a bit belated
And the themes on the threads are all related, full of naughtyness and innuendos!!:nice::naughty:

frolicols
23rd-May-2009, 01:32 PM
And the themes on the threads are all related, full of naughtyness and innuendos!!:nice::naughty:

Hey nothing wrong with innuendo Treacle... :awe:
You have to put it in repeatedly round here...

MarkW
23rd-May-2009, 07:06 PM
Hey nothing wrong with innuendo Treacle... :awe:
You have to put it in repeatedly round here...

We are so well behaved our threads could hardly be cleaner. Sometimes I think I self censor too much so as not to offend the mistresses (like anything I can come up with could be enough to stretch their sensibilities) :worthy:.

Jay Jay
23rd-May-2009, 08:00 PM
We are so well behaved our threads could hardly be cleaner. Sometimes I think I self censor too much so as not to offend the mistresses (like anything I can come up with could be enough to stretch their sensibilities) :worthy:.

Aww don't censor yourself....we need to enlarge our knowledge in the raunchy side of life, we are all so innocent really :eyebrow:...and I heard you have the ability to suitably enlarge :whistle:

Maxine
24th-May-2009, 12:19 PM
Aww don't censor yourself....we need to enlarge our knowledge in the raunchy side of life, we are all so innocent really :eyebrow:...and I heard you have the ability to suitably enlarge :whistle:

Sometimes I can’t believe the words that are leering out of the page at me (not from You MarkW obviously:rolleyes:)

Jay Jay
25th-May-2009, 11:17 AM
Sometimes I can’t believe the words that are leering out of the page at me (not from You MarkW obviously:rolleyes:)

You must mean me then :blush: Were you relying on me to the goody goody of this thread then?.....no chance :wink:

rubyred
25th-May-2009, 10:41 PM
You must mean me then :blush: Were you relying on me to the goody goody of this thread then?.....no chance :wink:
If you were to change to become the goody goody on this thread you would be belying your true self and your sense of fun, as we all would I hasten to add :wink:

Maxine
26th-May-2009, 08:36 AM
If you were to change to become the goody goody on this thread you would be belying your true self and your sense of fun, as we all would I hasten to add :wink:

Well If I was to say that I was to become the goody goody of the thread then you would know that that was me lying

Jay Jay
26th-May-2009, 10:38 AM
Well If I was to say that I was to become the goody goody of the thread then you would know that that was me lying

Well I was a goody goody once. Then I mingled with you lot and things have certainly changed....but I am loving it :wink:

Maxine
27th-May-2009, 08:31 AM
Well I was a goody goody once. Then I mingled with you lot and things have certainly changed....but I am loving it :wink:

I’m just grateful you haven’t singled me out for being the bad influence in your life:innocent:

Jay Jay
27th-May-2009, 07:15 PM
I’m just grateful you haven’t singled me out for being the bad influence in your life:innocent:

Can't single you out but you certainly helped towards the fact that my halo has slidden a little :doh:.....but I won't hold it against you, I'll let the lads to that ;)

rubyred
27th-May-2009, 07:23 PM
Can't single you out but you certainly helped towards the fact that my halo has slidden a little :doh:.....but I won't hold it against you, I'll let the lads to that ;)
:rofl: halo ha ha!! I think you're got burnt when they made a swiddon on the moors the other night!!

Jay Jay
27th-May-2009, 09:55 PM
:rofl: halo ha ha!! I think you're got burnt when they made a swiddon on the moors the other night!!

I would tell you if I knew what a swiddon was :o All I know is my mother disowns me for some of things I have said on this thread, if only she knew it just represents everything my dear old Aunty Mildred taught me :sick:

MarkW
28th-May-2009, 12:39 AM
I would tell you if I knew what a swiddon was :o All I know is my mother disowns me for some of things I have said on this thread, if only she knew it just represents everything my dear old Aunty Mildred taught me :sick:

I googled "swiddon" and didn't get much. These letters are making it really hard for me. Something similar happened at at a freestyle in Swindon once. That would be another story ... :eyebrow:

Maxine
28th-May-2009, 07:17 AM
I googled "swiddon" and didn't get much. These letters are making it really hard for me. Something similar happened at at a freestyle in Swindon once. That would be another story ... :eyebrow:

Well MarkW Swindon sounds like a hotbed of debauchery (although I imagine in reality it probably isn’t); if only I had some windows to your world

JiveLad
28th-May-2009, 10:32 AM
Well MarkW Swindon sounds like a hotbed of debauchery (although I imagine in reality it probably isn’t); if only I had some windows to your world

Well, I can vouch for the fact that it is totally debauched in Swindon - they party hard: they do drugs, they do wines and they do full on Essex style firemen events.

Maxine
28th-May-2009, 10:35 PM
Well, I can vouch for the fact that it is totally debauched in Swindon - they party hard: they do drugs, they do wines and they do full on Essex style firemen events.

Oh no they don’t do wine in Swindon surely, they really do swing there don’t they so rock and roll

Although you've won me over with the firemen:yum:

Jay Jay
29th-May-2009, 10:06 AM
Oh no they don’t do wine in Swindon surely, they really do swing there don’t they so rock and roll

Although you've won me over with the firemen:yum:

OMG, they do wine in Swindon, I think I also need a fireman to come and give me a dousing....any excuse :wink:

rubyred
1st-June-2009, 11:19 PM
OMG, they do wine in Swindon, I think I also need a fireman to come and give me a dousing....any excuse :wink:
Well I think you might find the firemen quite rousing:nice:

rubyred
1st-June-2009, 11:35 PM
Can't single you out but you certainly helped towards the fact that my halo has slidden a little :doh:.....but I won't hold it against you, I'll let the lads to that ;)


swiddon


I would tell you if I knew what a swiddon was


I googled "swiddon" and didn't get much.
:oSorry I should have spelt it swidden and its a temporary agricultural plot produced by cutting back and burning off vegetative cover...... yeah I know sad am I !

Maxine
3rd-June-2009, 09:14 AM
:oSorry I should have spelt it swidden and its a temporary agricultural plot produced by cutting back and burning off vegetative cover...... yeah I know sad am I !

Whilst everyone else decides whether or not to forgive this little oversight, I am going to worry more about how the tango/jive queen knows so much about farming words

rubyred
4th-June-2009, 12:21 AM
Whilst everyone else decides whether or not to forgive this little oversight, I am going to worry more about how the tango/jive queen knows so much about farming words
I am waiting for all the comments which derides my errors, and well as for the country life, this tango/jive babe ijust loves those farmers with their big ploughs!!

Maxine
5th-June-2009, 10:38 AM
I am waiting for all the comments which derides my errors, and well as for the country life, this tango/jive babe ijust loves those farmers with their big ploughs!!

Your errors were not derided they were celebrated and enjoyed, after all what else have we got to do?

Jay Jay
8th-June-2009, 11:54 PM
Your errors were not derided they were celebrated and enjoyed, after all what else have we got to do?

What else have we got to do????? Well I have been away, resided with my aunt and her mates for a few days actually and have been taught lots of new skills I could certainly show a farmer and his big plough a thing or two now :blush:

MarkW
9th-June-2009, 10:23 PM
What else have we got to do????? Well I have been away, resided with my aunt and her mates for a few days actually and have been taught lots of new skills I could certainly show a farmer and his big plough a thing or two now :blush:

Skilled dancers who can handle heavy equipment. You ladies seem to have all my desires covered.

Maxine
10th-June-2009, 08:22 AM
Skilled dancers who can handle heavy equipment. You ladies seem to have all my desires covered.

What a way to start the day getting everything you desired, lucky boy

Jay Jay
10th-June-2009, 03:07 PM
What a way to start the day getting everything you desired, lucky boy

Ooooh what's the decider then ploughing or dancing.....sowing or swinging...such problems :sick:

Maxine
11th-June-2009, 07:44 AM
Ooooh what's the decider then ploughing or dancing.....sowing or swinging...such problems :sick:

Well I put all the options in a decoder and it came up with a new form of dance called the barnyard swing, can’t wait to start marketing it

Jay Jay
11th-June-2009, 12:59 PM
Well I put all the options in a decoder and it came up with a new form of dance called the barnyard swing, can’t wait to start marketing it

Okay....I have ordered some hay and await further instructions........cockadoodledoo

rubyred
11th-June-2009, 01:09 PM
Okay....I have ordered some hay and await further instructions........cockadoodledoo
Of course all these subliminal messages about hay, farmers with big ploughs, cockadoodledoos need to be decoded and put to bed as soon as possible, I suggest JayJay heads this task in her bunker, er I mean garage, and Maxine provides the half time satsumas. I will of course delegate and supervise as one is prone to do.:rolleyes:

Maxine
12th-June-2009, 08:37 AM
Of course all these subliminal messages about hay, farmers with big ploughs, cockadoodledoos need to be decoded and put to bed as soon as possible, I suggest JayJay heads this task in her bunker, er I mean garage, and Maxine provides the half time satsumas. I will of course delegate and supervise as one is prone to do.:rolleyes:



Where are the genius men to help us decipher the deeper meaning obviously we have kept them too coddled in the garage and they don’t won’t to come out to play

Jay Jay
12th-June-2009, 10:00 AM
Where are the genius men to help us decipher the deeper meaning obviously we have kept them too coddled in the garage and they don’t won’t to come out to play

Perhaps their thoughts have been clouded by the assumption that they may have to go and sow their seeds and may be a little too much hard work

Maxine
16th-June-2009, 08:39 AM
Perhaps their thoughts have been clouded by the assumption that they may have to go and sow their seeds and may be a little too much hard work

I did not know you were so clued up on country matters but then you do live almost in the forest

JiveLad
16th-June-2009, 03:17 PM
Where are the genius men to help us decipher the deeper meaning obviously we have kept them too coddled in the garage and they don’t won’t to come out to play


I did not know you were so clued up on country matters but then you do live almost in the forest

So the women are missing the guys? Well we are busy boys......maybe you will to clone us and have then clones as your servants doing your bidding...,.

Maxine
17th-June-2009, 01:18 PM
So the women are missing the guys? Well we are busy boys......maybe you will to clone us and have then clones as your servants doing your bidding...,.

Unfortunately you left us alone for quite a long time and we started to get self sufficient but I’m sure we could put your services to good use, we could……

Jay Jay
19th-June-2009, 09:50 AM
Unfortunately you left us alone for quite a long time and we started to get self sufficient but I’m sure we could put your services to good use, we could……


....ask you for services required as and when...often think about you as I unloads the car (not good grammar but it fitted in nicely :wink: )....innuendo intended :)

Maxine
20th-June-2009, 11:26 AM
....ask you for services required as and when...often think about you as I unloads the car (not good grammar but it fitted in nicely :wink: )....innuendo intended :)


He also offered his services and said that he uploads quite often; if I’m interested. Seemed rude to say no

rubyred
24th-June-2009, 07:32 PM
He also offered his services and said that he uploads quite often; if I’m interested. Seemed rude to say no
He hasn't posted on here for a while so I am sure he is ready to explode with innuendos when he finally upholds his end of the double entendres.

JiveLad
25th-June-2009, 01:48 PM
He hasn't posted on here for a while so I am sure he is ready to explode with innuendos when he finally upholds his end of the double entendres.

Yes - I've been holed up in a cave sans satsumas, melons, coconuts - and a distinct lack of cleavages* or bosoms**.



* a rare fruit from Fiji, characterised by an enticing split down the middle with two halves which you can't quite see - still you know they are fantastic.

** a fruit from Norway - often found in the mountains which has two berry like nodules which change shape as you start to nibble them.

Jay Jay
26th-June-2009, 01:07 PM
Yes - I've been holed up in a cave sans satsumas, melons, coconuts - and a distinct lack of cleavages* or bosoms**.



* a rare fruit from Fiji, characterised by an enticing split down the middle with two halves which you can't quite see - still you know they are fantastic.

** a fruit from Norway - often found in the mountains which has two berry like nodules which change shape as you start to nibble them.

Such delights and coupled with some ice cream and a drizzle of whichever sauce you desire..........one of my favourite desserts :grin:

JiveLad
2nd-July-2009, 09:53 AM
Such delights and coupled with some ice cream and a drizzle of whichever sauce you desire..........one of my favourite desserts :grin:

Yes - the kind of thing enjoyed by couples - feeding each other those sensuous delights.............

frolicols
2nd-July-2009, 02:07 PM
Yes - the kind of thing enjoyed by couples - feeding each other those sensuous delights.............

I often find I can't achieve any kind of closure until food has been brought into the equation.

Oh and hello again after a lengthy absence!!! Damn real life, it gets in the way too much! :D

JiveLad
2nd-July-2009, 02:56 PM
I often find I can't achieve any kind of closure until food has been brought into the equation.

Oh and hello again after a lengthy absence!!! Damn real life, it gets in the way too much! :D

Crikey where u been?...........let me guess..........wine/women.........? Or just swine flu?

Welcome back - we need some more colourful posts here......more colours the better...

rubyred
2nd-July-2009, 07:14 PM
Crikey where u been?...........let me guess..........wine/women.........? Or just swine flu?

Welcome back - we need some more colourful posts here......more colours the better...
Welcome back to eveyone, we seem to have become a bit wrapped up in other things, I could sure do with some coolers at the moment, phew!!

Maxine
3rd-July-2009, 08:46 AM
Welcome back to eveyone, we seem to have become a bit wrapped up in other things, I could sure do with some coolers at the moment, phew!!

Well I’d like to say the weather has been to nice to sit on my computer so I have got out on my scooter (if only) in the fresh air, but unfortunately that wasn’t the reason

rubyred
7th-July-2009, 12:39 AM
we need some more colourful posts here......more colours the better...


Well I’d like to say the weather has been to nice to sit on my computer so I have got out on my scooter (if only) in the fresh air, but unfortunately that wasn’t the reason
Does the Little Red Rooster cut it then, definitely bluesey, lots of colour here
:waycool:
Howlin- Wolf - Little Red Rooster.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrwiJEj7eg&feature=related):nice:

JiveLad
7th-July-2009, 08:07 AM
Does the Little Red Rooster cut it then, definitely bluesey, lots of colour here
:waycool:
Howlin- Wolf - Little Red Rooster.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrwiJEj7eg&feature=related):nice:

Yes - or the Ro. Stone version with that Jagger swagger......bringing colour to many a lady's cheeks.

Maxine
7th-July-2009, 08:40 AM
Does the Little Red Rooster cut it then, definitely bluesey, lots of colour here
:waycool:
Howlin- Wolf - Little Red Rooster.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrwiJEj7eg&feature=related):nice:

Ooh will have to listen to this version when I get home.:grin:


Yes - or the Ro. Stone version with that Jagger swagger......bringing colour to many a lady's cheeks.

Great song I have it stored on my IPod I’ll think I’ll play it now:grin::waycool:

MarkW
13th-July-2009, 08:45 PM
Ooh will have to listen to this version when I get home.:grin:



Great song I have it stored on my IPod I’ll think I’ll play it now:grin::waycool:

This recent hot weather has brought a bit of colour although many of us have to be careful with the sun cream. I saw one poor young woman whose cheeks were so red she looked like she'd been roasted.

rubyred
13th-July-2009, 08:51 PM
This recent hot weather has brought a bit of colour although many of us have to be careful with the sun cream. I saw one poor young woman whose cheeks were so red she looked like she'd been roasted.
Hello MarkW:clap: I heard she'd boasted about getting her red cheeks another way:whistle:

MarkW
13th-July-2009, 09:08 PM
Hello MarkW:clap: I heard she'd boasted about getting her red cheeks another way:whistle:

Stabbed at repeatedly with some kind of crude weapon I gather. But that's a hole other route that it may be better not to go down.

Maxine
14th-July-2009, 09:04 AM
Stabbed at repeatedly with some kind of crude weapon I gather. But that's a hole other route that it may be better not to go down.

I saw tears in his eyes when he stubbed it accidently whilst poking around

JiveLad
14th-July-2009, 09:52 AM
I saw tears in his eyes when he stubbed it accidently whilst poking around

Well she seemed to enjoy it when he gently rubbed his stubble against her cheeks and lips

Jay Jay
14th-July-2009, 04:48 PM
Well she seemed to enjoy it when he gently rubbed his stubble against her cheeks and lips

.........always does it for me, especially during one of passionate tumbles...yes it's me....I'm back :clap:

Maxine
15th-July-2009, 08:19 AM
.........always does it for me, especially during one of passionate tumbles...yes it's me....I'm back :clap:

Where have you been; was it you who tried to kill the forum??

As long as it does not turn it to one of his classic fumbles

MarkW
16th-July-2009, 03:57 PM
Where have you been; was it you who tried to kill the forum??

As long as it does not turn it to one of his classic fumbles

If he offers to let you try out his muffler then make sure you are in a sound-proofed room. In spite of its name, when he gets going it is usually accompanied by loud squealing noises.

rubyred
16th-July-2009, 10:31 PM
If he offers to let you try out his muffler then make sure you are in a sound-proofed room. In spite of its name, when he gets going it is usually accompanied by loud squealing noises.
The loud squealing noices can only be caused by the actions of a fumbler,there should only be ecstatic sighs of enjoyment coming from the sound proofed garage, where Mildred would keep her tools of enjoyment.

MarkW
17th-July-2009, 12:03 AM
The loud squealing noices can only be caused by the actions of a fumbler,there should only be ecstatic sighs of enjoyment coming from the sound proofed garage, where Mildred would keep her tools of enjoyment.

The squeals are happy squeals. Mildred says it makes her quiver all over and it makes her bum feel good.

Maxine
17th-July-2009, 08:58 AM
The squeals are happy squeals. Mildred says it makes her quiver all over and it makes her bum feel good.

She also quite liked having her bum felt (allegedly).

JiveLad
17th-July-2009, 10:19 AM
She also quite liked having her bum felt (allegedly).

And her muff let loose and fancy free to provide a warm and welcoming sanctuary to any upstanding gent who happened to be ready for..........

rubyred
17th-July-2009, 09:51 PM
And her muff let loose and fancy free to provide a warm and welcoming sanctuary to any upstanding gent who happened to be ready for..........
a warm and cosy night with wine and candlelight, but then loosing his most favourite cufflet whilst Mildred undid his buttons was too much for him to bear:tears:

Maxine
21st-July-2009, 08:09 AM
a warm and cosy night with wine and candlelight, but then loosing his most favourite cufflet whilst Mildred undid his buttons was too much for him to bear:tears:



Unfortunately now in her geriatric years instead of a warm, cosy but subtle grope it was more like a scuffle.

rubyred
23rd-July-2009, 12:11 AM
Unfortunately now in her geriatric years instead of a warm, cosy but subtle grope it was more like a scuffle.
Oh yes she let out a sciffle in disgust as she tried to pull him into her warm and cosy bed but she insisted he take off his socks first!...after all a girl's got standards you know:whistle:

Maxine
23rd-July-2009, 04:25 PM
Oh yes she let out a sciffle in disgust as she tried to pull him into her warm and cosy bed but she insisted he take off his socks first!...after all a girl's got standards you know:whistle:

He complained to her because she was fickle, one day she would like to see him dressed in nothing but his socks and a bright smile whilst others she would chastise him if he left his socks on, even her favourite ones with the Homer Simpson faces

rubyred
23rd-July-2009, 04:53 PM
He complained to her because she was fickle, one day she would like to see him dressed in nothing but his socks and a bright smile whilst others she would chastise him if he left his socks on, even her favourite ones with the Homer Simpson faces
The thoughts of him naked in his Homer Simpson facelets did nothing to tickle her fancy, she wanted great big beefcake nakedness or he'd never come up to her expectations.

Maxine
24th-July-2009, 08:39 AM
The thoughts of him naked in his Homer Simpson facelets did nothing to tickles her fancy, she wanted great big beefcake nakedness or he'd never come up to her expectations.

Well if his Homer Simpson socks left her fancy untickled he would have to resort to plan B and show her his superman underpants

rubyred
27th-July-2009, 10:00 PM
Well if his Homer Simpson socks left her fancy untickled he would have to resort to plan B and show her his superman underpants
I can't say I have come across these high fashion items, I am sure they will soon trickle down to the masses and be on sale in Asda or Morrisons soon!

JiveLad
27th-July-2009, 10:43 PM
I can't say I have come across these high fashion items, I am sure they will soon trickle down to the masses and be on sale in Asda or Morrisons soon!

Well the underpants come in one colour only and they are very skimpy to say the least - and because of the unusal design, they do tend to rub against your groin. If a woman were to wear them, she might end up with a sore red clit.

Maxine
29th-July-2009, 01:05 PM
Well the underpants come in one colour only and they are very skimpy to say the least - and because of the unusal design, they do tend to rub against your groin. If a woman were to wear them, she might end up with a sore red clit.

Thank you, so much for your words of warning JL my friend Dick was trying to persuade me to try them but because of your words of advice I will not let Dick near me

rubyred
29th-July-2009, 10:33 PM
Thank you, so much for your words of warning JL my friend Dick was trying to persuade me to try them but because of your words of advice I will not let Dick near me
I often wonder about the London dialect,:eyebrow: words sometimes appear on this thread that make me come over all of a quiver ...... I sometimes need to get out the dictionary :eek:Maxine I am so glad you covered that last one :lol:

Maxine
30th-July-2009, 07:00 AM
I often wonder about the London dialect,:eyebrow: words sometimes appear on this thread that make me come over all of a quiver ...... I sometimes need to get out the dictionary :eek:Maxine I am so glad you covered that last one :lol:

I’m glad you tackled this issue of language and dialects, but unfortunately there is a flaw in your argument as the instigator of the :eek:word (JL) is not a Londoner but a northern boy ( we are far too refined here in London), but I will concede that maybe he has picked up some of our southern ways.

rubyred
30th-July-2009, 08:21 AM
I’m glad you tackled this issue of language and dialects, but unfortunately there is a flaw in your argument as the instigator of the :eek:word (JL) is not a Londoner but a northern boy ( we are far too refined here in London), but I will concede that maybe he has picked up some of our southern ways.
Thank you for clearing that up Maxine but I think I just woke the whole street up when I cackled after reading this, and after I nearly chocked on me toast, spluttered out me tea [this computer will never forgive me:rolleyes:] I said......in Victor Meldrew voice I don't believe it ...what in the name of bloody hell ...really...!!!!!

JiveLad
30th-July-2009, 09:36 AM
Thank you for clearing that up Maxine but I think I just woke the whole street up when I cackled after reading this, and after I nearly chocked on me toast, spluttered out me tea [this computer will never forgive me:rolleyes:] I said......in Victor Meldrew voice I don't believe it ...what in the name of bloody hell ...really...!!!!!

:rofl:

Yes.........(and proud of my Yorkshire heritage). Well I hope you weren't wearing your stainless steel basque at the time because the noise would have been terrible - just like that time you wore it to the freestyle at the Wigan Casino when you clanked to the Bay City Rollers. As for me, I don't clank as much as I used to as young lad - as I let the ladies do most of the clanking. Off we go again......

rubyred
31st-July-2009, 12:01 AM
:rofl:

Yes.........(and proud of my Yorkshire heritage). Well I hope you weren't wearing your stainless steel basque at the time because the noise would have been terrible - just like that time you wore it to the freestyle at the Wigan Casino when you clanked to the Bay City Rollers. As for me, I don't clank as much as I used to as young lad - as I let the ladies do most of the clanking. Off we go again......
I have to say the Yorkshire MJ dance scene is really friendly, and I enjoy the Tango in Yorkshire too. But as for the Bay City Rollers:rolleyes: I'm afraid I would have blanked them. I was more of Deep Purple, James Taylor and Edwin Starr girl myself. The famous Casino also closed down before I moved to Wigan, which was a shame, and it is still talked about with great affection amongst the Pie Eaters today.

Jay Jay
2nd-August-2009, 02:34 PM
I have to say the Yorkshire MJ dance scene is really friendly, and I enjoy the Tango in Yorkshire too. But as for the Bay City Rollers:rolleyes: I'm afraid I would have blanked them. I was more of Deep Purple, James Taylor and Edwin Starr girl myself. The famous Casino also closed down before I moved to Wigan, which was a shame, and it is still talked about with great affection amongst the Pie Eaters today.

Just give me a blanket and David Bowie that'll do me just fine :blush:...yup I's back and raring to go..

MarkW
2nd-August-2009, 04:25 PM
Just give me a blanket and David Bowie that'll do me just fine :blush:...yup I's back and raring to go..

Welcome back mistress :nice:. Now, while I dig out my old David Bowie outfit, I must tidy the garage. The thought of hand cuffs in an untidy environment is simply untenable. Strict discipline demands order :whip:

Jay Jay
2nd-August-2009, 06:41 PM
Welcome back mistress :nice:. Now, while I dig out my old David Bowie outfit, I must tidy the garage. The thought of hand cuffs in an untidy environment is simply untenable. Strict discipline demands order :whip:

Absolutement mon ami...an elegant mistress such as myself must have tidy surroundings in order to get down to business. You can dress yourself in something akin to his 'Thin White Duke' period and that will certainly get the party off to a good start...............

Maxine
3rd-August-2009, 08:37 AM
Absolutement mon ami...an elegant mistress such as myself must have tidy surroundings in order to get down to business. You can dress yourself in something akin to his 'Thin White Duke' period and that will certainly get the party off to a good start...............

I agree that tidiness is very important but so is a gentle touch, you don’t want to replica the scratching with nails like the woman in China Girl

Jay Jay
3rd-August-2009, 05:03 PM
I agree that tidiness is very important but so is a gentle touch, you don’t want to replica the scratching with nails like the woman in China Girl

So okay.....a man that is tidy, very smartly dressed, can sing, dance, in need of a bit of discipline, knows when to be gentle and looks good in handcuffs will have my eternal attention :awe:

Maxine
4th-August-2009, 09:01 AM
So okay.....a man that is tidy, very smartly dressed, can sing, dance, in need of a bit of discipline, knows when to be gentle and looks good in handcuffs will have my eternal attention :awe:

With my retinal deficiency all men look gorgeous to me:D:awe:

Jay Jay
4th-August-2009, 10:29 AM
With my retinal deficiency all men look gorgeous tome:D:awe:

Know what you mean. Happened to me in Tangier, thought a handsome guy was beckoning me over to him.............turned out to be a palm tree :what:

Maxine
5th-August-2009, 08:43 AM
Know what you mean. Happened to me in Tangier, thought a handsome guy was beckoning me over to him.............turned out to be a palm tree :what:

It’s not the first guy that you have been ranting on about that turned out to be a little wooden

Jay Jay
5th-August-2009, 12:58 PM
It’s not the first guy that you have been ranting on about that turned out to be a little wooden

None of my men are wooden....I'm sure there is a joke there somewhere :blush: The only comparison to tree may be that they are a little fruity :wink:....which comes in handy if you fancy a granita!

Maxine
6th-August-2009, 08:54 AM
None of my men are wooden....I'm sure there is a joke there somewhere :blush: The only comparison to tree may be that they are a little fruity :wink:....which comes in handy if you fancy a granita!

You lucky girl all those fruity men but I think you need to arrange a triage session for your men if none of them are wooden

Jay Jay
8th-August-2009, 06:20 PM
You lucky girl all those fruity men but I think you need to arrange a triage session for your men if none of them are wooden

Hopefully I can radiate enough passion in my men to turn twiglets into branches :wink:

Maxine
11th-August-2009, 08:53 AM
Hopefully I can radiate enough passion in my men to turn twiglets into branches :wink:

If all that fails you could always try using your culinary skills, or tricks of the trade that you have learnt in the garage or playing music on your CD player, radio et al

Jay Jay
11th-August-2009, 11:50 AM
If all that fails you could always try using your culinary skills, or tricks of the trade that you have learnt in the garage or playing music on your CD player, radio et al


........or failing all that, I could don my leotard and put on my tree zipping attire (as modelled in my profile pic) and just ride them :really:

rubyred
12th-August-2009, 09:49 PM
........or failing all that, I could don my leotard and put on my tree zipping attire (as modelled in my profile pic) and just ride them :really:
is that the leopard print one that just has the men falling about your feet when you wear it :wink:

Jay Jay
12th-August-2009, 10:55 PM
is that the leopard print one that just has the men falling about your feet when you wear it :wink:

Yup indeed it is, but they are not falling at my feet from lust.....it is fainting at the overlap of bulges :sick:

Maxine
13th-August-2009, 08:53 AM
is that the leopard print one that just has the men falling about your feet when you wear it :wink:

You could get JiveLad to wear his matching leopard skin posing pouch, what a striking pair you’d make:eek:


Yup indeed it is, but they are not falling at my feet from lust.....it is fainting at the overlap of bulges :sick:

Well that’s not what I heard, I have it on great authority that your promised to meet your lover at Pineapple Studios wearing your recently procured leopard skin leotard :grin:(don’t forget to put the photos on facebook)

Jay Jay
13th-August-2009, 09:57 AM
You could get JiveLad to wear his matching leopard skin posing pouch, what a striking pair you’d make:eek:



Well that’s not what I heard, I have it on great authority that your promised to meet your lover at Pineapple Studios wearing your recently procured leopard skin leotard :grin:(don’t forget to put the photos on facebook)

:doh: caught out...I didn't think that it was overtly obvious, but you have sussed me out, my fetish for a bit of leopard print has been uncovered, yes I am going to meet him at Pineapple and we are going to have a wee bit of dirty dancing in our matching skins :blush:

rubyred
13th-August-2009, 10:27 PM
:doh: caught out...I didn't think that it was overtly obvious, but you have sussed me out, my fetish for a bit of leopard print has been uncovered, yes I am going to meet him at Pineapple and we are going to have a wee bit of dirty dancing in our matching skins :blush:
So poverty is not an issue here, l hear membership at Pineapple is expensive and the cost of these famous prints are priceless!

Maxine
14th-August-2009, 08:34 AM
So poverty is not an issue here, l hear membership at Pineapple is expensive and the cost of these famous prints are priceless!

Well you could be in luck Rubyred as there are rumours that they are to be immortalised on some tasteful pieces of pottery, to collect each week:sick:

Jay Jay
15th-August-2009, 11:49 AM
Well you could be in luck Rubyred as there are rumours that they are to be immortalised on some tasteful pieces of pottery, to collect each week:sick:

........... if I win the lottery I am going to get the whole set. The teapot is especially nice, the spout on it is a mighty fine one by all accounts

JiveLad
15th-August-2009, 01:41 PM
........... if I win the lottery I am going to get the whole set. The teapot is especially nice, the spout on it is a mighty fine one by all accounts

Well it is the pair of jugs which caught my eye...........nicely rounded - and of course, traditionally, once I get my hands on them, I would christen them with some nice fresh cream (organic of course). You might think I'm off my trolley - but I do admire a fine pair of jugs.

Jay Jay
15th-August-2009, 02:06 PM
Well it is the pair of jugs which caught my eye...........nicely rounded - and of course, traditionally, once I get my hands on them, I would christen them with some nice fresh cream (organic of course). You might think I'm off my trolley - but I do admire a fine pair of jugs.

The jugs I have are indeed loverly but I would love to get my hands on the whole set so I can do a nice spread for everyone, so that all can enjoy what I have to offer...........when the invites hit the post for my tea party.

MarkW
15th-August-2009, 09:28 PM
The jugs I have are indeed loverly but I would love to get my hands on the whole set so I can do a nice spread for everyone, so that all can enjoy what I have to offer...........when the invites hit the post for my tea party.

It is well known that when you did your famous spread for a group of firemen that you were rewarded with a volley of fresh cream. (Nice profile pic too - just the right hint of bondage without in any way being too obvious :awe:).

Jay Jay
15th-August-2009, 10:57 PM
It is well known that when you did your famous spread for a group of firemen that you were rewarded with a volley of fresh cream. (Nice profile pic too - just the right hint of bondage without in any way being too obvious :awe:).

Oh yes, I remember that particular time very well, in fact the loyaler ones that stayed behind to help clear up the after mess have since become tenants in the garage.

.......glad you like the pic, I look a lot happier in it (before my tree zipping experience) than I did after it :rofl:

JiveLad
16th-August-2009, 08:34 AM
It is well known that when you did your famous spread for a group of firemen that you were rewarded with a volley of fresh cream. (Nice profile pic too - just the right hint of bondage without in any way being too obvious :awe:).

:lol:


Oh yes, I remember that particular time very well, in fact the loyaler ones that stayed behind to help clear up the after mess have since become tenants in the garage.

.......glad you like the pic, I look a lot happier in it (before my tree zipping experience) than I did after it :rofl:

Did you get them into the garage disciplines? You remember our old mantra:

"Early to bed
Early to rise
Gives the gals in the garage
A lovely surprise"

Jay Jay
16th-August-2009, 01:40 PM
:lol:



Did you get them into the garage disciplines? You remember our old mantra:

"Early to bed
Early to rise
Gives the gals in the garage
A lovely surprise"

Oh I thought it was

Early to bed
Early to rise
Wake up happy??
Depends on the size

..............of the bed of course, otherwise you have to find a way to overlay :wink:

Maxine
17th-August-2009, 08:46 AM
Oh I thought it was

Early to bed
Early to rise
Wake up happy??
Depends on the size

..............of the bed of course, otherwise you have to find a way to overlay :wink:


Sometimes overlay can be a lovely experience though often results in feeling a little stiff the next day

Jay Jay
17th-August-2009, 03:20 PM
Sometimes overlay can be a lovely experience though often results in feeling a little stiff the next day


Overall though, it is much nicer to be able to lay in a bed big enough to be able to do a starshape and get rid of the stiffness

Maxine
18th-August-2009, 01:26 PM
Overall though, it is much nicer to be able to lay in a bed big enough to be able to do a starshape and get rid of the stiffness

A bed large enough to do starshapes in sounds like a lover’s paradise or am I too easily pleased?

Jay Jay
19th-August-2009, 12:31 PM
A bed large enough to do starshapes in sounds like a lover’s paradise or am I too easily pleased?

........you ARE too easily pleased........you need someone to share it with you ....otherwise it's a bit like being oarless in a canoe :wink:

JiveLad
19th-August-2009, 01:51 PM
........you ARE too easily pleased........you need someone to share it with you ....otherwise it's a bit like being oarless in a canoe :wink:

....you mean you need some support? - especially if you happen to be braless . Eg. when you are putting a water feature in your garden....

http://snarkerati.com/profile_pics/Charlie-Dimmock.jpg

Jay Jay
19th-August-2009, 06:20 PM
....you mean you need some support? - especially if you happen to be braless . Eg. when you are putting a water feature in your garden....


I do need support, everyone does at some point, but my breasts are absolutely fine at the moment :grin:

Maxine
20th-August-2009, 08:50 AM
I do need support, everyone does at some point, but my breasts are absolutely fine at the moment :grin:

I am glad to hear that your breasts are doing well JayJay , but be careful there have been several arrests abroad in certain countries for putting your assets on display

Jay Jay
22nd-August-2009, 12:09 AM
I am glad to hear that your breasts are doing well JayJay , but be careful there have been several arrests abroad in certain countries for putting your assets on display

I shall take heed in what you say and won't be doing any more streaks from now on :nice:

rubyred
24th-August-2009, 12:55 AM
I shall take heed in what you say and won't be doing any more streaks from now on :nice:
I am sure that news will bring bring on glum shreaks from everyone!:sad:

Maxine
24th-August-2009, 08:58 AM
I am sure that news will bring bring on glum shreaks from everyone!:sad:

I think that people like JayJay and myself are misunderstood, we are not exhibitionists we are just sharers :innocent:

JiveLad
24th-August-2009, 11:51 AM
I think that people like JayJay and myself are misunderstood, we are not exhibitionists we are just sharers :innocent:

Well yes - the way most people see it, you two are the key movers and shakers on the dance scene in the local environs (Essex-Herts-Londinium). It is amply demonstrated by the way your booty is shaken and the exotic moves executed on the dance floor especially at Spearmint Rhino.

Jay Jay
24th-August-2009, 11:58 AM
Well yes - the way most people see it, you two are the key movers and shakers on the dance scene in the local environs (Essex-Herts-Londinium). It is amply demonstrated by the way your booty is shaken and the exotic moves executed on the dance floor.

Why thank you kind sir, it is amazing what you can accomplish without the 'harness' of home life once you are out and dancing :wink:

rubyred
25th-August-2009, 10:23 PM
Why thank you kind sir, it is amazing what you can accomplish without the 'harness' of home life once you are out and dancing :wink:
I agree with Jivelad, when I see the two mistresses out and about it definitely wants me to sharpen up my moves, you two put the rest of us to shame!!

Maxine
26th-August-2009, 08:42 AM
I agree with Jivelad, when I see the two mistresses out and about it definitely wants me to sharpen up my moves, you two put the rest of us to shame!!

You are too kind Rubyred :hug: and it just so happens that I have witnessed you strutting your stuff on the dance floor and I can say ‘The Wigan Warbler’ sure knows how to move

Jay Jay
26th-August-2009, 11:58 AM
You are too kind Rubyred :hug: and it just so happens that I have witnessed you strutting your stuff on the dance floor and I can say ‘The Wigan Warbler’ sure knows how to move

I think perhaps we will all have to work out our own individual 'signature' move which we can then become known. We had better start rehearsals in the garage........mine is called the Jay Jay Hold Sway

JiveLad
26th-August-2009, 12:34 PM
I think perhaps we will all have to work out our own individual 'signature' move which we can then become known. We had better start rehearsals in the garage........mine is called the Jay Jay Hold Sway

Oh - I thought it was the Straddle My Thigh move we did on Sunday.....anyway I know you wanted a banana then - and sorry I couldn't oblige. I'm sure someone else could bring some rations - in fact there is a woman who goes there who does great food - and her baps are said to be delicious.

Jay Jay
26th-August-2009, 02:47 PM
Oh - I thought it was the Straddle My Thigh move we did on Sunday.....anyway I know you wanted a banana then - and sorry I couldn't oblige. I'm sure someone else could bring some rations - in fact there is a woman who goes there who does great food - and her baps are said to be delicious.

No, no, no, JL.....that is your signature move and there aren't many that could pull it off as well as you do :what: ..and you are right I was quite upset you didn't have a banana ready for me but I did in fact find the bap lady and she filled me a good'un....I had to take quick breaths whilst watching her doing the preparations for it

JiveLad
26th-August-2009, 03:44 PM
No, no, no, JL.....that is your signature move and there aren't many that could pull it off as well as you do :what: ..and you are right I was quite upset you didn't have a banana ready for me but I did in fact find the bap lady and she filled me a good'un....I had to take quick breaths whilst watching her doing the preparations for it

Let me guess what you had......was it a fresh organic bap lightly buttered with free range breasts of chicken with mayonnaise smothered all over the aforementioned breasts?

Jay Jay
26th-August-2009, 06:11 PM
Let me guess what you had......was it a fresh organic bap lightly buttered with free range breasts of chicken with mayonnaise smothered all over the aforementioned breasts?

Funnily enough it wasn't, it was a lovely Sloppy Joe, one of my favourites. She ground her meat to perfection with lovely streams of mustard on top for an artistic effect

rubyred
26th-August-2009, 11:53 PM
Funnily enough it wasn't, it was a lovely Sloppy Joe, one of my favourites. She ground her meat to perfection with lovely streams of mustard on top for an artistic effect
which caused the screams of delight as the creamy mustard drizzled down the front of her canvas, heads turned to see the look of sheer satisfaction on her face, as she bit into the tasty meat!

Maxine
27th-August-2009, 08:49 AM
which caused the screams of delight as the creamy mustard drizzled down the front of her canvas, heads turned to see the look of sheer satisfaction on her face, as she bit into the tasty meat!

and they watched as her tongue caress a drip of mustard that that was left on her lips

Jay Jay
29th-August-2009, 07:19 PM
and they watched as her tongue caress a drip of mustard that that was left on her lips

...........which didn't go down too well as it was Colemans Extra Strength...the cameras were certainly clicking away as she had to stick her head in the sink to stop the 'burn'

MarkW
31st-August-2009, 04:24 PM
...........which didn't go down too well as it was Colemans Extra Strength...the cameras were certainly clicking away as she had to stick her head in the sink to stop the 'burn'

The poor woman was suffering but seemed to perk up when offered a caress by a considerate gentleman.

JiveLad
31st-August-2009, 06:30 PM
The poor woman was suffering but seemed to perk up when offered a caress by a considerate gentleman.

Especially when he slowly undressed her and continued to gently caress her bare ass....

rubyred
31st-August-2009, 11:13 PM
Especially when he slowly undressed her and continued to gently caress her bare ass....
ok ok !! Jive lad heads first into the bear pit, braless and free, his femine side breaking out in a moment of pure :rolleyes:abandonment!!

Maxine
1st-September-2009, 08:53 AM
ok ok !! Jive lad heads first into the bear pit, braless and free, his femine side breaking out in a moment of pure :rolleyes:abandonment!!

I now have this image of JL dressed in ladies underwear surrounded by an orgy of women feeding him fruit (especially satsumas) from silver salvers (he is very tall in those high heels).

JiveLad
1st-September-2009, 10:01 AM
I now have this image of JL dressed in ladies underwear surrounded by an orgy of women feeding him fruit (especially satsumas) from silver salvers (he is very tall in those high heels).

Well I hope the ladies feed the fruit* into the correct orifice, so I don't have to end up saying something like:

"Er, no, actually, - that's my arse luv"


* You know me - I prefer a couple of juicy melons to satsumas

rubyred
1st-September-2009, 05:29 PM
Well I hope the ladies feed the fruit* into the correct orifice, so I don't have to end up saying something like:

"Er, no, actually, - that's my arse luv"


* You know me - I prefer a couple of juicy melons to satsumas
You know sometimes less is more:rolleyes: Oh how he slavers over that fruity!!

Maxine
2nd-September-2009, 08:57 AM
You know sometimes less is more:rolleyes: Oh how he slavers over that fruity!!

I think you’re right Rubyred less is more but I think that JL’s choice of fruit reveals quite a bit about his desires

JiveLad
2nd-September-2009, 09:32 AM
I think you’re right Rubyred less is more but I think that JL’s choice of fruit reveals quite a bit about his desires

Well I thought that slavery had been abolished - however, the idea of being fed a variety of fruity delights by scantily clad wenches from the Garage makes me think it is due a come back.

Jay Jay
2nd-September-2009, 01:52 PM
Well I thought that slavery had been abolished - however, the idea of being fed a variety of fruity delights by scantily clad wenches from the Garage makes me think it is due a come back.

So a come back you shall have....I have made handcuffs using satsuma segments, a neck collar from some bananas and a ball and chain put together with a watermelon and cherries..............quite easy to eat your way out of.....but that's the way we like it.....and every bite reveals a little bit more each time.....

rubyred
2nd-September-2009, 11:51 PM
So a come back you shall have....I have made handcuffs using satsuma segments, a neck collar from some bananas and a ball and chain put together with a watermelon and cherries..............quite easy to eat your way out of.....but that's the way we like it.....and every bite reveals a little bit more each time.....
There must be a law against such fun, I think we should fight to make sure no one ever repeals it and steals our fruity moments in the garage!!

Maxine
3rd-September-2009, 08:43 AM
There must be a law against such fun, I think we should fight to make sure no one ever repeals it and steals our fruity moments in the garage!!

All though I am not normally a great fan of repeats, I think an experience as good as the newly refurbished garage is definitely worth another visit.

So bring on the satsumas as I am feeling fruity :D:blush:

rubyred
3rd-September-2009, 11:50 PM
All though I am not normally a great fan of repeats, I think an experience as good as the newly refurbished garage is definitely worth another visit.

So bring on the satsumas as I am feeling fruity :D:blush:
Have you included a stepper in the garage, I could do with a good work out and the satsumas will give me energy to keep on going.

Maxine
4th-September-2009, 08:40 AM
Have you included a stepper in the garage, I could do with a good work out and the satsumas will give me energy to keep on going.



Yes and there is also a stopper for the door to let in some fresh air when it becomes too hot and steamy in there

JiveLad
4th-September-2009, 12:14 PM
Yes and there is also a stopper for the door to let in some fresh air when it becomes too hot and steamy in there

Well....when it does get hot and steamy, that is probably time to take off the outfits - and get to that moment, when all is revealed and out pops the....

Jay Jay
4th-September-2009, 06:24 PM
Well....when it does get hot and steamy, that is probably time to take off the outfits - and get to that moment, when all is revealed and out pops the....

The lady from the teashop asking if anyone would like a nice cup of tea and a cream horn................

MarkW
4th-September-2009, 09:22 PM
The lady from the teashop asking if anyone would like a nice cup of tea and a cream horn................

I think that, coupled correctly, a nice firm cream horn and a suitably lubricated vessel would make a good dashpot. I really must try some experimental trials to test that theory. The garage would be perfect.

Jay Jay
5th-September-2009, 12:14 AM
I think that, coupled correctly, a nice firm cream horn and a suitably lubricated vessel would make a good dashpot. I really must try some experimental trials to test that theory. The garage would be perfect.

I have donned my white coat, got my goggles and stethescope at the ready, let the observations begin.........but no toadish behaviour mind you! But then again I might make you croak a little :wink:

MarkW
5th-September-2009, 07:13 PM
I have donned my white coat, got my goggles and stethescope at the ready, let the observations begin.........but no toadish behaviour mind you! But then again I might make you croak a little :wink:

Sounds like the reciprocating motion could get a bit out of hand :drool: Best keep our hairdos in place with some gel. If it all gets a bit too croaky my ode to items occasionally used in salads, O, Radish, should calm things down :what:

Jay Jay
6th-September-2009, 12:39 PM
Sounds like the reciprocating motion could get a bit out of hand :drool: Best keep our hairdos in place with some gel. If it all gets a bit too croaky my ode to items occasionally used in salads, O, Radish, should calm things down :what:

Well I have spoken to my advisor on these matters and he said we could certainly have fun with some gel and radishes but feels some exotic dressing should be added.........

MarkW
6th-September-2009, 12:54 PM
Well I have spoken to my advisor on these matters and he said we could certainly have fun with some gel and radishes but feels some exotic dressing should be added.........

French or Greek maybe? Not everyone likes feta cheese but I savour it. Might need to use olives instead of radishes for a more authentic feel.

JiveLad
6th-September-2009, 05:03 PM
Well I have spoken to my advisor on these matters and he said we could certainly have fun with some gel and radishes but feels some exotic dressing should be added.........


French or Greek maybe? Not everyone likes feta cheese but I savour it. Might need to use olives instead of radishes for a more authentic feel.

I sense that "exotic dressing" referred to something a bit more outre.

I know that the average Essex girl (and the rare Wigan Warbler) favours dressing up - so perhaps some "exotic dressing" would extend to this kind of outfit....?

http://www.fetishwear.com/images/Catalog/syren/Latex/latexw/latexpanite1.JPG

Jay Jay
6th-September-2009, 06:05 PM
I sense that "exotic dressing" referred to something a bit more outre.

I know that the average Essex girl (and the rare Wigan Warbler) favours dressing up - so perhaps some "exotic dressing" would extend to this kind of outfit....?



That's not very exotic.........we here in Essex wear that sort of thing just to do the housework :WetHaddock:....we have various local shops that stock this sort of cleaning attire. I got my from the Avon Lady.

MarkW
6th-September-2009, 07:51 PM
That's not very exotic.........we here in Essex wear that sort of thing just to do the housework :WetHaddock:....we have various local shops that stock this sort of cleaning attire. I got my from the Avon Lady.

Such outfits can be quite expensive and IOU's are not usually accepted. But the rubber finish makes them well suited to housework as they wipe clean very easily.

Jay Jay
6th-September-2009, 09:27 PM
Such outfits can be quite expensive and IOU's are not usually accepted. But the rubber finish makes them well suited to housework as they wipe clean very easily.

The outfit also suits hanging dusters from your nipples. We do that in Essex because we can dust the dining room table whilst bending over to do other jobs :what: makes housework a lot quicker when you can do two jobs at once!
It has actually become our saviour

JiveLad
6th-September-2009, 11:32 PM
The outfit also suits hanging dusters from your nipples. We do that in Essex because we can dust the dining room table whilst bending over to do other jobs :what: makes housework a lot quicker when you can do two jobs at once!
It has actually become our saviour

Hmmm.....well, I ask our moderators: is that kind of behaviour allowed from members of the forum. I mean - whatever next??

PS Are these the kind of nipple attachments you use to do the dusting?

http://www.emeraldangel.co.uk/images/nipple_tassels.jpg

If so, I think I could do with a bit of a dusting down.......

Maxine
7th-September-2009, 08:33 AM
Hmmm.....well, I ask our moderators: is that kind of behaviour allowed from members of the forum. I mean - whatever next??

PS Are these the kind of nipple attachments you use to do the dusting?

http://www.emeraldangel.co.uk/images/nipple_tassels.jpg

If so, I think I could do with a bit of a dusting down.......

:rofl::rofl:
Hey! JL how did you get a picture from my underwear draw

This is purely a practical thing JL this way we can get through our tasks in double quick time to leave more time for the fun things in life that for us Essex girls are a necessity

Jay Jay
7th-September-2009, 10:18 AM
:rofl::rofl:
Hey! JL how did you get a picture from my underwear draw

This is purely a practical thing JL this way we can get through our tasks in double quick time to leave more time for the fun things in life that for us Essex girls are a necessity

How we deal with our housework will outrank any other county that's for sure........you should see how we manage the hoover:what:

MarkW
8th-September-2009, 12:28 AM
How we deal with our housework will outrank any other county that's for sure........you should see how we manage the hoover:what:

Apparently some prefer not to clean the door handles but rearrange the dust in interesting patterns. Have you ever tried your hand at knob art?

Jay Jay
8th-September-2009, 07:44 AM
Apparently some prefer not to clean the door handles but rearrange the dust in interesting patterns. Have you ever tried your hand at knob art?

No I hear it is coming back in to fashion though. It is really amazing the variety of knobs you can get these days. A 'Baronet' I know employs servants entirely on the basis of the way they shine their knobs...........

JiveLad
8th-September-2009, 05:58 PM
No I hear it is coming back in to fashion though. It is really amazing the variety of knobs you can get these days. A 'Baronet' I know employs servants entirely on the basis of the way they shine their knobs...........

Yes - and the servants have different techniques - some use a 'double rub' or even a 'triple rub' to get a good polished knob which stands out. Other seems to achieve all they want with a 'one rub' technique - putting everything into it with tremendous vigour.

rubyred
8th-September-2009, 07:54 PM
Yes - and the servants have different techniques - some use a 'double rub' or even a 'triple rub' to get a good polished knob which stands out. Other seems to achieve all they want with a 'one rub' technique - putting everything into it with tremendous vigour.
I don't believe that the one rub would work on precious jewels, well not if you were planning on buffing up a nice ruby one, I hear they like to be given extra attention, and gently rubs would suit this mulitifaceted jewel best!!:wink:

JiveLad
8th-September-2009, 09:26 PM
I don't believe that the one rub would work on precious jewels, well not if you were planning on buffing up a nice ruby one, I hear they like to be given extra attention, and gently rubs would suit this mulitifaceted jewel best!!:wink:

:rofl::rofl: :rofl: Ok the game is over......Ruby won

Jay Jay
9th-September-2009, 11:37 PM
:rofl::rofl: :rofl: Ok the game is over......Ruby won

She certainly is a gem and one that needs a good rubdown (often) just to keep that sparkle from dulling :grin:

rubyred
10th-September-2009, 12:16 AM
She certainly is a gem and one that needs a good rubdown (often) just to keep that sparkle from dulling :grin:
Well I think you are all gems on here:hug::love: and add a bit of sparkle to my day when I play games with you all. Believe it or not I run down my batteries all the time just staying up to play with these games,especially when there's mention of the garage :D cor !my lap top goes into overdrive :wink::whistle:,

JiveLad
10th-September-2009, 10:24 AM
Well I think you are all gems on here:hug::love: and add a bit of sparkle to my day when I play games with you all. Believe it or not I run down my batteries all the time just staying up to play with these games,especially when there's mention of the garage :D cor !my lap top goes into overdrive :wink::whistle:,

Well get yer lap top in gear, and get ready 'cos I just heard that the Essex are girls are refurbishing the facilities - plush velvet, subdued lighting, funky firemen, exotic fruits (including Sharon) milongaing melons aplenty and performing puppies with plenty of tatty bojangles bouncing around - so there's gonna be some fun down here.....

If you do come with your gems - please note it is pearl necklaces only - and if you bring your lap top and want to dance then dispense with the 'top' (it is only lap dancing allowed not laptop dancing).

rubyred
10th-September-2009, 06:31 PM
Well get yer lap top in gear, and get ready 'cos I just heard that the Essex are girls are refurbishing the facilities - plush velvet, subdued lighting, funky firemen, exotic fruits (including Sharon) milongaing melons aplenty and performing puppies with plenty of tatty bojangles bouncing around - so there's gonna be some fun down here.....

If you do come with your gems - please note it is pearl necklaces only - and if you bring your lap top and want to dance then dispense with the 'top' (it is only lap dancing allowed not laptop dancing).
:rofl::rofl:Well you're not going to believe it but my batteries did run out last night ,just as I finished my post when my lap top just went off :tears: too much for one little machine to bear!!:D

I have heard Pearl's a great little swinger er I mean singer, but around my neck she shall be for the next garage meeting, so we can have fun from sun up to sun down, can't wait:wink:

Jay Jay
11th-September-2009, 08:22 PM
:rofl::rofl:Well you're not going to believe it but my batteries did run out last night ,just as I finished my post when my lap top just went off :tears: too much for one little machine to bear!!:D

I have heard Pearl's a great little swinger er I mean singer, but around my neck she shall be for the next garage meeting, so we can have fun from sun up to sun down, can't wait:wink:

So sorry to hear about the batteries...I often have that problem.....we shouldn't put so much stress on the little toys that we have but we generally throw caution to the wind and just go for it, just always be prepared with a new pack for back up anything else would be unsound

rubyred
11th-September-2009, 09:45 PM
So sorry to hear about the batteries...I often have that problem.....we shouldn't put so much stress on the little toys that we have but we generally throw caution to the wind and just go for it, just always be prepared with a new pack for back up anything else would be unsound

absolutely agree always have a power pack with you at all times, time then for free spirit inside you to unbound and have the necessary back up in case the lights go out in the garage for example:innocent:...how about re chargeables???

Maxine
12th-September-2009, 09:21 AM
absolutely agree always have a power pack with you at all times, time then for free spirit inside you to unbound and have the necessary back up in case the lights go out in the garage for example:innocent:...how about re chargeables???

I think with all the new high tech that has gone into the Garage that have to be seen to be believed (particularly like the new lighting and remote control massage beds) fears about batteries running out are quite unfounded and highly unlikely unless the emergency generator breaks down

JiveLad
15th-September-2009, 08:24 AM
I think with all the new high tech that has gone into the Garage that have to be seen to be believed (particularly like the new lighting and remote control massage beds) fears about batteries running out are quite unfounded and highly unlikely unless the emergency generator breaks down

Well there was a bit of a hoo-ha with the new Garage set up - it turns out the new massage beds were extra springy, like trampolines and everyone was bouncing up and down and falling off - and then the electricity switches couldn't be found - so the new lighting couldn't be switched on. Then the generator - which was came from an old Ford car made in Dagenham broke down as well. The fruit was limited - and we had to make do with one satsuma and a couple of juicy melons. Still Mistress Jay Jay and cohorts ensured we all had a good time - Mildred was on form as usual :grin:

All in all, quite a funny do.

Maxine
15th-September-2009, 12:56 PM
Well there was a bit of a hoo-ha with the new Garage set up - it turns out the new massage beds were extra springy, like trampolines and everyone was bouncing up and down and falling off - and then the electricity switches couldn't be found - so the new lighting couldn't be switched on. Then the generator - which was came from an old Ford car made in Dagenham broke down as well. The fruit was limited - and we had to make do with one satsuma and a couple of juicy melons. Still Mistress Jay Jay and cohorts ensured we all had a good time - Mildred was on form as usual :grin:

All in all, quite a funny do.

:rofl::rofl:
Oh dear oh dear JiveLad is your glass always half empty? A 2 million state of the art refit and you can still find fault. I found my pleasure on the trampoline type massage bed intensified the pleasure rather than distracted from it, as for the lights fumbling in the dark is all part of the fun but yes unfortunately the fruit was in short supply that day but the Satsuma was particularly juicy but never got near the melons as you seemed to have your hands on them for the entire evening

Jay Jay
15th-September-2009, 03:36 PM
:rofl::rofl:
Oh dear oh dear JiveLad is your glass always half empty? A 2 million state of the art refit and you can still find fault. I found my pleasure on the trampoline type massage bed intensified the pleasure rather than distracted from it, as for the lights fumbling in the dark is all part of the fun but yes unfortunately the fruit was in short supply that day but the Satsuma was particularly juicy but never got near the melons as you seemed to have your hands on them for the entire evening

I personally love the pool, quite refreshing. What keeps me getting through the day is the thought of the plunging that I can look forward to later....loving the idea of a pet for the garage too, the rabbit was a great introduction. Must get on to the foundry to make a special place to keep it :D

rubyred
16th-September-2009, 08:31 PM
I personally love the pool, quite refreshing. What keeps me getting through the day is the thought of the plunging that I can look forward to later....loving the idea of a pet for the garage too, the rabbit was a great introduction. Must get on to the foundry to make a special place to keep it :D
Being the founder member of the garage Jay Jay I think that all things electric are best in you hands, and the rabbit will love his new home, especially when his friends come around to play.....

MarkW
16th-September-2009, 09:59 PM
Being the founder member of the garage Jay Jay I think that all things electric are best in you hands, and the rabbit will love his new home, especially when his friends come around to play.....

I'll always remember being on the rebound and happily my bouncing took me to the garage where all my favourite ladies were playing, unrobed, with their rabbits. Very touching. I was moved to do my best to imitate a large carrot. More bouncing occurred. Still, better a bouncer than a bounder. Although being bound has its merits as I discovered that very same evening.

rubyred
16th-September-2009, 10:24 PM
I'll always remember being on the rebound and happily my bouncing took me to the garage where all my favourite ladies were playing, unrobed, with their rabbits. Very touching. I was moved to do my best to imitate a large carrot. More bouncing occurred. Still, better a bouncer than a bounder. Although being bound has its merits as I discovered that very same evening.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
Can I just say you give a girl a lot to choose from, I like a menu like that:wink: You see,when you refound your bounce, your mojo responded! Those little rabbits ears must have popped up with great anticipation, and they obviously tickled your fancy and made you forget why you were on the rebound. I am sure you made them very happy when you fed them your big carrot, I think they like large carrots better !!.

Maxine
17th-September-2009, 08:54 AM
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
Can I just say you give a girl a lot to choose from, I like a menu like that:wink: You see,when you refound your bounce, your mojo responded! Those little rabbits ears must have popped up with great anticipation, and they obviously tickled your fancy and made you forget why you were on the rebound. I am sure you made them very happy when you fed them your big carrot, I think they like large carrots better !!.

I must say Rubyred the thought of MarkW as a bounder made me quite disconcerted in fact I frowned and left marks on my forehead. But the thought of all those rabbits soon returned a smile to my face:blush:

JiveLad
17th-September-2009, 09:50 AM
I must say Rubyred the thought of MarkW as a bounder made me quite disconcerted in fact I frowned and left marks on my forehead. But the thought of all those rabbits soon returned a smile to my face:blush:

Well apparently, MarkW was crowned king of the bounders after his performance at a recent 'bunnies' event was captured on film:

http://www.bestfunnypictures.com/image/967playboy-bunny-with-a-model.jpg

Maxine
18th-September-2009, 08:45 AM
Well apparently, MarkW was crowned king of the bounders after his performance at a recent 'bunnies' event was captured on film:

http://www.bestfunnypictures.com/image/967playboy-bunny-with-a-model.jpg

I am actually speechless by this post JL, which is practically unheard of, but I nearly drowned in tears of laughter. MarKW it must have got a bit hot in that outfit

Jay Jay
18th-September-2009, 07:06 PM
I am actually speechless by this post JL, which is practically unheard of, but I nearly drowned in tears of laughter. MarKW it must have got a bit hot in that outfit

Strangest looking rabbit I've seen, his dad must of been a bit of a pig by all accounts....or is it just one of the wonders of the world and how nice to be so well endowed :)

JiveLad
19th-September-2009, 10:25 AM
Strangest looking rabbit I've seen, his dad must of been a bit of a pig by all accounts....or is it just one of the wonders of the world and how nice to be so well endowed :)

Yes - the rabbits do tend to mix in unusual ways. When I was last in the company of some Playboy Bunnies, I made some discrete enquiries about the possibility of seeing a pussy - and they came back with this:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01372/Rabbit-Cat_1372448i.jpg

I felt a bit wronged by this.....

Jay Jay
19th-September-2009, 02:14 PM
Yes - the rabbits do tend to mix in unusual ways. When I was last in the company of some Playboy Bunnies, I made some discrete enquiries about the possibility of seeing a pussy - and they came back with this:
I felt a bit wronged by this.....

Not surprised a bit evil looking if you ask me, I like my furry friends to have a welcoming aura about them. I think the one in the photo needs to undergo some cosmetic surgery

MarkW
20th-September-2009, 01:34 PM
Not surprised a bit evil looking if you ask me, I like my furry friends to have a welcoming aura about them. I think the one in the photo needs to undergo some cosmetic surgery

There's no way I could ever live up to that picture a few posts above. No amount of cosmetic surgery could give me a snout like that. Or do I mean spout?

JL, your pictures are beyond words. I sometimes wonder if they could form grounds for legal action. You are guilty of being side splittingly hilarious.

Maxine
21st-September-2009, 08:54 AM
There's no way I could ever live up to that picture a few posts above. No amount of cosmetic surgery could give me a snout like that. Or do I mean spout?

JL, your pictures are beyond words. I sometimes wonder if they could form grounds for legal action. You are guilty of being side splittingly hilarious.

Yes his pictures can be very funny and really make us laugh but do not have sound or movement unlike his Jib.Jab cartoons that definitely should win the forum Oscars for comedy

Jay Jay
21st-September-2009, 01:47 PM
Yes his pictures can be very funny and really make us laugh but do not have sound or movement unlike his Jib.Jab cartoons that definitely should win the forum Oscars for comedy

Bring back some Jib Jab is what I say............they still bring a smile to my face...amazing what pleasures you can gain from being indoors with your computer :sick:

JiveLad
21st-September-2009, 03:44 PM
Bring back some Jib Jab is what I say............they still bring a smile to my face...amazing what pleasures you can gain from being indoors with your computer :sick:

Well, just to let you know that there is a Christmas special 'in the can' to be released c. 20th December or thereabouts.

Other than that - there are several bits of old footage which may be released via Facebook - one I seem to remember of an Essex gal dancing - doing rondos 'n 'stuff'.....might be Mildred or Mistress JayJay - I will have to check.

Anyway thanks for the comments - back to more important stuff - JayJay: where were you last night? I brought a banana specially for you - I do enjoy watching you peel it back and getting your lips around it. Are you still busy in the garage and getting it ready for Ant and Dec?

Jay Jay
21st-September-2009, 05:27 PM
Well, just to let you know that there is a Christmas special 'in the can' to be released c. 20th December or thereabouts.

Other than that - there are several bits of old footage which may be released via Facebook - one I seem to remember of an Essex gal dancing - doing rondos 'n 'stuff'.....might be Mildred or Mistress JayJay - I will have to check.

Anyway thanks for the comments - back to more important stuff - JayJay: where were you last night? I brought a banana specially for you - I do enjoy watching you peel it back and getting your lips around it. Are you still busy in the garage and getting it ready for Ant and Dec?

Can't wait to see your footage......via facebook :sick:!!! With some vintage bits in it too..great stuff I feel some 'condors' moments to come.....remember aaaahhhh Condor!

Didn't get to Berko I know :tears: Keep the banana for me......don't let it go soft. Tomorrow is the big day........bag packed off to hotel tonight for early shoot tomorrow :rofl:

rubyred
21st-September-2009, 09:37 PM
Can't wait to see your footage......via facebook :sick:!!! With some vintage bits in it too..great stuff I feel some 'condors' moments to come.....remember aaaahhhh Condor!

Didn't get to Berko I know :tears: Keep the banana for me......don't let it go soft. Tomorrow is the big day........bag packed off to hotel tonight for early shoot tomorrow :rofl:
Are you shooting condors tomorrow JayJay, mind the RSPB don't find out! Have to tell you a story ......one of our local schools kept finding condoms in the play ground and being a village it was gossiped about. Anyway my daughter was only about 7 and she came in one evening from playing out,and listening to the other kids she says to her dad ' dad what's a condor' [ only little got it all mixed up!]. After nearly spluttering out his tea he quickly replied 'its a big bird ', so there you have it, that's how we taught our children about sex !!

MarkW
22nd-September-2009, 12:21 AM
Are you shooting condors tomorrow JayJay, mind the RSPB don't find out! Have to tell you a story ......one of our local schools kept finding condoms in the play ground and being a village it was gossiped about. Anyway my daughter was only about 7 and she came in one evening from playing out,and listening to the other kids she says to her dad ' dad what's a condor' [ only little got it all mixed up!]. After nearly spluttering out his tea he quickly replied 'its a big bird ', so there you have it, that's how we taught our children about sex !!

He was obviously broaching the subject gently. First the birds, then the bees.

The obvious solution is to teach children dominos in their early teens. That should contain sexual desire until they think of playing strip dominos [don't even ask!].

Maxine
22nd-September-2009, 08:55 AM
He was obviously broaching the subject gently. First the birds, then the bees.

The obvious solution is to teach children dominos in their early teens. That should contain sexual desire until they think of playing strip dominos [don't even ask!].

Now that you mention dominos MarkW reminds me of a guy I used to know in Barcelona Senor Domingo (Mr Sunday) he was very sexually repressed and an expert at dominos I left him for Senor Sabado:blush:

JiveLad
23rd-September-2009, 08:39 AM
Now that you mention dominos MarkW reminds me of a guy I used to know in Barcelona Senor Domingo (Mr Sunday) he was very sexually repressed and an expert at dominos I left him for Senor Sabado:blush:

Yes, he was a good man...........although, by all accounts, not as good as these men:

Flms407qDCU

Maxine
23rd-September-2009, 08:47 AM
Yes, he was a good man...........although, by all accounts, not as good as these men:

Flms407qDCU

:rofl::rofl:JL You’ve done it again made my morning

I always say never look a gift horse in the mouth because good men are hard to come by

rubyred
23rd-September-2009, 06:39 PM
:rofl::rofl:JL You’ve done it again made my morning

I always say never look a gift horse in the mouth because good men are hard to come by
Another brilliant Jive Lad production, :clap:always make me laugh, Jay Jay I hope you had a good pen for Ant and Dec's autographs, looks like you had a brillianT time please tell all !!!

Jay Jay
23rd-September-2009, 11:48 PM
Another brilliant Jive Lad production, :clap:always make me laugh, Jay Jay I hope you had a good pen for Ant and Dec's autographs, looks like you had a brillianT time please tell all !!!

All I can say is I hope we weren't snooped on whilst we were having coffee, Dec was telling me what lovely flaps I had (remember that and store that away for when you see the ad :what: :rofl::rofl:)

........JL that clip was just brilliant, I laughed until the tears were rolling down my legs :o

Maxine
24th-September-2009, 08:58 AM
All I can say is I hope we weren't snooped on whilst we were having coffee, Dec was telling me what lovely flaps I had (remember that and store that away for when you see the ad :what: :rofl::rofl:)

........JL that clip was just brilliant, I laughed until the tears were rolling down my legs :o

We are all looking forward to your performance

Hopefully someone was on hand and sponged you down :really:and that now you’re as good as new

JiveLad
5th-October-2009, 09:35 AM
All I can say is I hope we weren't snooped on whilst we were having coffee, Dec was telling me what lovely flaps I had (remember that and store that away for when you see the ad :what: :rofl::rofl:)

........JL that clip was just brilliant, I laughed until the tears were rolling down my legs :o


We are all looking forward to your performance

Hopefully someone was on hand and sponged you down :really:and that now you’re as good as new

Yeah - I heard that a lot of energy was expended - with a bit of dancing thrown in: apparently Ant can really move and is a bit of a 'spin-god'.

MarkW
5th-October-2009, 10:09 AM
Yeah - I heard that a lot of energy was expended - with a bit of dancing thrown in: apparently Ant can really move and is a bit of a 'spin-god'.

They were going to dance naked but those rapid spins caused problems when his dong was flung out by the centrifugal force.

JiveLad
5th-October-2009, 12:12 PM
They were going to dance naked but those rapid spins caused problems when his dong was flung out by the centrifugal force.
:lol:

Would that be his long dong which allegedly got caught in JayJay's (delightful) flaps during the filming?

MarkW
5th-October-2009, 01:18 PM
:lol:

Would that be his long dong which allegedly got caught in JayJay's (delightful) flaps during the filming?

The very same.

The film crew, mainly locals from the mid-West, were impressed by her grace under pressure and heard to say "That English woman's sure got spunk".

rubyred
6th-October-2009, 10:39 PM
The very same.

The film crew, mainly locals from the mid-West, were impressed by her grace under pressure and heard to say "That English woman's sure got spunk".
.......as she caught his longish dongle as it fell to the ground after catapulting out of the lap top at top speed!!

Jay Jay
6th-October-2009, 11:51 PM
.......as she caught his longish dongle as it fell to the ground after catapulting out of the lap top at top speed!!

I was just about to do a big spread for them in order to do good flaps (I promise it will all make sense when you see the ad) I felt the camera closing in for a good shot......................

MarkW
7th-October-2009, 03:11 PM
I was just about to do a big spread for them in order to do good flaps (I promise it will all make sense when you see the ad) I felt the camera closing in for a good shot......................

... then realised that, in addition to your best garage wear, you'd absent mindedly left your clogs on :really:. [Really I mean :drool: but that would give too great an insight into my warped nature. Still, good for the balance of trade as we normally import that sort of item from the Netherlands - not this time though, you deserve a Queen's award :clap:.]

Jay Jay
7th-October-2009, 04:11 PM
... then realised that, in addition to your best garage wear, you'd absent mindedly left your clogs on :really:. [Really I mean :drool: but that would give too great an insight into my warped nature. Still, good for the balance of trade as we normally import that sort of item from the Netherlands - not this time though, you deserve a Queen's award :clap:.]

Ooooh Marky I didn't know that wooden oblongs on the end of my feet would make you feel that way :blush:....I shall get them ordered in from the Netherlands in all sizes and colours for you :D

Maxine
8th-October-2009, 08:52 AM
Ooooh Marky I didn't know that wooden oblongs on the end of my feet would make you feel that way :blush:....I shall get them ordered in from the Netherlands in all sizes and colours for you :D

Can’t imagine Jay Jay the stiletto queen slobing around in a pair of Clogs.

Jay Jay
8th-October-2009, 09:25 AM
Can’t imagine Jay Jay the stiletto queen slobing around in a pair of Clogs.

But it might help in slowing down my dancing............can it get any slower? :wink: I just love that Blues Room :awe:

rubyred
8th-October-2009, 09:56 PM
But it might help in slowing down my dancing............can it get any slower? :wink: I just love that Blues Room :awe:
and your blues dancing is always flowing and in perfect time with the music:nice:, you make them heels rock girl :wink:

Jay Jay
9th-October-2009, 12:07 AM
and your blues dancing is always flowing and in perfect time with the music:nice:, you make them heels rock girl :wink:

You'd be howling with laughter if you saw my stilletto slippers.....and don't think I don't have any:doh:

Maxine
9th-October-2009, 09:00 AM
You'd be howling with laughter if you saw my stilletto slippers.....and don't think I don't have any:doh:


I know you have and I have seen you glowing with pride when you wear them with your fetching bed wear.

JiveLad
9th-October-2009, 09:52 AM
I know you have and I have seen you glowing with pride when you wear them with your fetching bed wear.

Yes - her pride swells up and her flaps can be seen growing and becoming nicely rouged and ready for action - especially if there is a fireman passing by.

Jay Jay
11th-October-2009, 02:44 PM
Yes - her pride swells up and her flaps can be seen growing and becoming nicely rouged and ready for action - especially if there is a fireman passing by.

Don't even need a passing fireman, any of the local 'gringos' will do...........as long as they can dance

JiveLad
12th-October-2009, 08:00 AM
Don't even need a passing fireman, any of the local 'gringos' will do...........as long as they can dance

Well Mildred always had a penchant for fireman - and she nearly left me for one after she saw me smooching with someone else - until she realised that all they talked about were hoses and borings and she preferred some more lively chat and spicy shenanigans*.....



* nice with crumpet

Maxine
12th-October-2009, 12:26 PM
Well Mildred always had a penchant for fireman - and she nearly left me for one after she saw me smooching with someone else - until she realised that all they talked about were hoses and borings and she preferred some more lively chat and spicy shenanigans*.....



* nice with crumpet

Well I heard that Mildred was fed up with your constant attempts at scoring and that the firemen bored her (how is that possible) that she decided to have a complete change and went to live in a lesbian commune and is still enjoying a bit of girl on girl action to this day

MarkW
12th-October-2009, 12:48 PM
Well I heard that Mildred was fed up with your constant attempts at scoring and that the firemen bored her (how is that possible) that she decided to have a complete change and went to live in a lesbian commune and is still enjoying a bit of girl on girl action to this day

That must be why she ignores me now, even when I'm wearing the undergarments she knitted for me back in the day. The first was a converted tea cosy. She was always good at timing just when to bring things to the boil.

JiveLad
12th-October-2009, 02:39 PM
That must be why she ignores me now, even when I'm wearing the undergarments she knitted for me back in the day. The first was a converted tea cosy. She was always good at timing just when to bring things to the boil.

Yeah - well Mildred is a beautiful woman with eyes that draw you in and tantalise you - maybe one day she will see sense and relive those wonderful times again...... And she had a range of pets - including some cats - no tiger - my favourite was a cute short haired pussy which I used to stroke till it purred with satisfaction.

rubyred
12th-October-2009, 10:14 PM
Yeah - well Mildred is a beautiful woman with eyes that draw you in and tantalise you - maybe one day she will see sense and relive those wonderful times again...... And she had a range of pets - including some cats - no tiger - my favourite was a cute short haired pussy which I used to stroke till it purred with satisfaction.
Oh yes cats will mesmorise, they are seductive and sexy, but beware of them, they can be very unpredictable. At times and can delver a right stinger when they scratch you if you're not stroking them the right way.

Maxine
13th-October-2009, 09:19 AM
Oh yes cats will mesmorise, they are seductive and sexy, but beware of them, they can be very unpredictable. At times and can delver a right stinger when they scratch you if you're not stroking them the right way.

I do quite like being feline on occasions and Yes I can confirm they have at times tugged at my heart strings but I'm not for stroking a pussy, I prefer a dog.

rubyred
15th-October-2009, 10:01 PM
I do quite like being feline on occasions and Yes I can confirm they have at times tugged at my heart strings but I'm not for stroking a pussy, I prefer a dog.
But dogs just bounce about as they are full of springs, and need so much looking after, cats are so independent and snuggle up close :awe:

Jay Jay
18th-October-2009, 11:20 PM
But dogs just bounce about as they are full of springs, and need so much looking after, cats are so independent and snuggle up close :awe:

....and word has it dogs need prising apart after a moment of passion....just like me after a good blues track :awe:

rubyred
19th-October-2009, 10:36 PM
....and word has it dogs need prising apart after a moment of passion....just like me after a good blues track :awe:
Ah yes the music is everything, superglue moments arising from good music, we need a bit of that in the garage, just lately its been less than fruity, we need to be tangoed!! Maxine should be in a good mood for Tango after her weekend at Southport:nice:

JiveLad
20th-October-2009, 08:49 AM
Ah yes the music is everything, superglue moments arising from good music, we need a bit of that in the garage, just lately its been less than fruity, we need to be tangoed!! Maxine should be in a good mood for Tango after her weekend at Southport:nice:

Well the satsumas are running a bit low, so she will probably be getting her hands around some fresh plums soon enough - if not, then maybe there are some raisins to share.........

MarkW
20th-October-2009, 09:15 PM
Well the satsumas are running a bit low, so she will probably be getting her hands around some fresh plums soon enough - if not, then maybe there are some raisins to share.........

Finding Maxine is like finding a juicy raisin in a dessert and like finding an oasis in a state of extreme thirst. If Rubyred was there then I'm sure I would end up warbling and if I'd had the JayJay experience ... you know when you've been tangoed. [I did enjoy Southport - first weekender in four years.]

(With JL around I would happily enjoy the cast offs as the international playboy decimated the swooning lovelies.)

JiveLad
20th-October-2009, 09:59 PM
Finding Maxine is like finding a juicy raisin in a dessert and like finding an oasis in a state of extreme thirst. If Rubyred was there then I'm sure I would end up warbling and if I'd had the JayJay experience ... you know when you've been tangoed. [I did enjoy Southport - first weekender in four years.]

(With JL around I would happily enjoy the cast offs as the international playboy decimated the swooning lovelies.)

:rofl:

Well I hear that following JayJay's recent stardom, she is being signed up to star in soaps of one form or another....first stop is a new one called Essexenders. It is centred around some birds in Essex (with occasional gues appearance from a Wigan chick) who set up a car repair garage by day - and by night they go dancing and seduce unsuspecting young men back to their Garage.....which as we all know is actually a front for............

{Episode 2 follows}

PS I have now retired from International Playboying (although I am available for consultations at the usual rates....)

rubyred
20th-October-2009, 10:36 PM
Well I hear that following JayJay's recent stardom, she is being signed up to star in soaps of one form or another....first stop is a new one called Essexenders. It is centred around some birds in Essex (with occasional gues appearance from a Wigan chick) who set up a car repair garage by day - and by night they go dancing and seduce unsuspecting young men back to their Garage.....which as we all know is actually a front for............

{Episode 2 follows}

PS I have now retired from International Playboying (although I am available for consultations at the usual rates....)
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Well hello boys :wink:, says the Red Wigan Wharbler in a sultry tone , you know working with spanners in that garage all day alongside the new star in our midst, Ms JayJay the new Essexender, and the Nell Gwynn of Essex Ms Maxine, with her fruity oranges the size of mellons, has given me a taste for a better and easier life. The garage as you all know is where we make sweet music, garage music :rolleyes: with the boys of international ruin.

I have heard that some might want some photographic evidence of the workings in our garage, but unfortunatley the last person who put snaps on face book is still looking for his spanners and screw driver, so beware those who want to tell tales, we have ways of making you scream. :naughty:

Maxine
21st-October-2009, 01:35 PM
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Well hello boys :wink:, says the Red Wigan Wharbler in a sultry tone , you know working with spanners in that garage all day alongside the new star in our midst, Ms JayJay the new Essexender, and the Nell Gwynn of Essex Ms Maxine, with her fruity oranges the size of mellons, has given me a taste for a better and easier life. The garage as you all know is where we make sweet music, garage music :rolleyes: with the boys of international ruin.

I have heard that some might want some photographic evidence of the workings in our garage, but unfortunatley the last person who put snaps on face book is still looking for his spanners and screw driver, so beware those who want to tell tales, we have ways of making you scream. :naughty:

The reason that photography is strictly banned in the garage is no photo could possibly encompass the true feel of the garage and it give conflicting messages to the unwitting observers who have not been through the initiation

PS I understand the operation to extract the spanner from his orifice was a success but unfortunately he still can only sit on very fluffy cushions

JiveLad
21st-October-2009, 05:10 PM
The reason that photography is strictly banned in the garage is no photo could possibly encompass the true feel of the garage and it give conflicting messages to the unwitting observers who have not been through the initiation

PS I understand the operation to extract the spanner from his orifice was a success but unfortunately he still can only sit on very fluffy cushions

Well with regard to photgraphy, I was just looking through my old drawers when I discovered this early publicity shot - which was an early flyer for the Garage. when it purpoted to be a fruit shop:

10365

I recall there were plenty of romps as the melons were let loose and the fantasies were unleashed.,...........

Jay Jay
21st-October-2009, 11:22 PM
Well with regard to photgraphy, I was just looking through my old drawers when I discovered this early publicity shot - which was an early flyer for the Garage. when it purpoted to be a fruit shop:

I recall there were plenty of romps as the melons were let loose and the fantasies were unleashed.,...........

I'm glad you got my prosoma covered :wink: and may I say my melons look quite tasty too

MarkW
22nd-October-2009, 12:09 AM
I'm glad you got my prosoma covered :wink: and may I say my melons look quite tasty too

Never tastier darling.

And the memories that picture brought back. After hours of hard work helping you both by handling melons all afternoon you allowed me to enter the downstairs area. Just imagine a young man's delight on being allowed to enter and enjoy the taproom normally reserved for visiting royalty and knights of the realm. Good times :grin:

Maxine
22nd-October-2009, 01:29 PM
Never tastier darling.

And the memories that picture brought back. After hours of hard work helping you both by handling melons all afternoon you allowed me to enter the downstairs area. Just imagine a young man's delight on being allowed to enter and enjoy the taproom normally reserved for visiting royalty and knights of the realm. Good times :grin:


I can’t believe that you were shown to the Taproom, that is normally out of bounds as it houses the all important motor. I dread to think of what might have happened if there had been damage to the motor as this is responsible for ensuring all hand held implements are always fully charged

Jay Jay
22nd-October-2009, 02:54 PM
I can’t believe that you were shown to the Taproom, that is normally out of bounds as it houses the all important motor. I dread to think of what might have happened if there had been damage to the motor as this is responsible for ensuring all hand held implements are always fully charged

I know..........I'll have to take it on the chin (or anywhere you think fit), I did allow MarkW in to the Taproom. I'm sorry. But I did feel it necessary to show him how the whole thing works from the lubrication, to the steering column and drive shaft. I even allowed to play with the Tyre Jacq to enable him to have a good look once we found the hood! (all cars are different):what:

........and what a maestro he turned out to be :D

Maxine
23rd-October-2009, 08:37 AM
I know..........I'll have to take it on the chin (or anywhere you think fit), I did allow MarkW in to the Taproom. I'm sorry. But I did feel it necessary to show him how the whole thing works from the lubrication, to the steering column and drive shaft. I even allowed to play with the Tyre Jacq to enable him to have a good look once we found the hood! (all cars are different):what:

........and what a maestro he turned out to be :D



Now I understand why he looked all red and flushed and slightly sweaty. I thought you’d been in the steamer together (especially as his glasses were all misted up), did not realise that you were teaching him about mechanics

JiveLad
23rd-October-2009, 03:17 PM
Now I understand why he looked all red and flushed and slightly sweaty. I thought you’d been in the steamer together (especially as his glasses were all misted up), did not realise that you were teaching him about mechanics

I think she doing some of the basic mechanics course in the Garage: some of the basics of in-out movement, levers and pulleys - and then I noticed she was undressing him - and putting him in a new outfit. Was she trying to smarten him up after the rabbit/pig debacle?

Jay Jay
25th-October-2009, 01:05 PM
I think she doing some of the basic mechanics course in the Garage: some of the basics of in-out movement, levers and pulleys - and then I noticed she was undressing him - and putting him in a new outfit. Was she trying to smarten him up after the rabbit/pig debacle?

No I was actually trying to make his undercarriage look its best. It is amazing what you can do with a remnant of shammy leather :wink:

Maxine
26th-October-2009, 09:35 AM
No I was actually trying to make his undercarriage look its best. It is amazing what you can do with a remnant of shammy leather :wink:

But he had perfect manners always said please and thank you when you examined his undercarriage

JiveLad
26th-October-2009, 10:40 AM
But he had perfect manners always said please and thank you when you examined his undercarriage

Who are we talking about here? Do you mean Mark? Mark who? Could be anyone...so we need to know his surname. I have a hunch it is that guy from the Bristol (very apt) area: Marky de Sade (great, great, great, granson of.....)

http://thegrumpyowl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/126790portrait-of-the-marquis-de-sade.jpg

......his philosophy is about unleashing the beast that lies within all human beings, as is his belief that goodness and virtue can only lead to ill consequences and is punished with vice.

Jay Jay
28th-October-2009, 01:07 AM
Who are we talking about here? Do you mean Mark? Mark who? Could be anyone...so we need to know his surname. I have a hunch it is that guy from the Bristol (very apt) area: Marky de Sade (great, great, great, granson of.....)

......his philosophy is about unleashing the beast that lies within all human beings, as is his belief that goodness and virtue can only lead to ill consequences and is punished with vice.

I believe we all have a beast that needs unleashing but I am sure there is a humaner way of doing so...........I have a few ideas :eyebrow:

Maxine
28th-October-2009, 09:23 AM
I believe we all have a beast that needs unleashing but I am sure there is a humaner way of doing so...........I have a few ideas :eyebrow:


All this talk about unleashing beasts has just left me thinking about that great philosophical question are we human or are we dancers (Hunter S Thompson)

JiveLad
28th-October-2009, 10:10 AM
All this talk about unleashing beasts has just left me thinking about that great philosophical question are we human or are we dancers (Hunter S Thompson)

Yes - that is a killer of a question. Another related one is that guy who dances as a lead or a follow: she-man or he-man?

Maxine
29th-October-2009, 10:27 AM
Yes - that is a killer of a question. Another related one is that guy who dances as a lead or a follow: she-man or he-man?

I don’t like to be a moaner but I am not sure what the question is and therefore are unable to give you an adequate answer. If you are asking what sex the person is I think she is female, from the way the thread question was posed

JiveLad
29th-October-2009, 10:44 AM
I don’t like to be a moaner but I am not sure what the question is and therefore are unable to give you an adequate answer. If you are asking what sex the person is I think she is female, from the way the thread question was posed

Well according to Mistress JayJay, you are a 'moaner' because she had to install extra sound-proofing in the Garage after the last session with Fireman Fred.......Apparently, after the neighbours complained, all she could do was put the music on full blast to drown out your moans - and the track she used was by the Ramones: 'Mildred is a spunk rocker'

Jay Jay
30th-October-2009, 12:45 AM
Well according to Mistress JayJay, you are a 'moaner' because she had to install extra sound-proofing in the Garage after the last session with Fireman Fred.......Apparently, after the neighbours complained, all she could do was put the music on full blast to drown out your moans - and the track she used was by the Ramones: 'Mildred is a spunk rocker'

You are not kidding, the girl has no volume control :doh:we are constantly having visits from the Noise Abatement Department of Epping Council, I had to say that she had a mental deficiency and to explain all the props around the garage I said the only way to stop it was with a bit of heavy romance :confused:

Maxine
30th-October-2009, 09:41 AM
You are not kidding, the girl has no volume control :doh:we are constantly having visits from the Noise Abatement Department of Epping Council, I had to say that she had a mental deficiency and to explain all the props around the garage I said the only way to stop it was with a bit of heavy romance :confused:


Yes I will admit I am quite a noisy person, that has never been guilty of entering a room quietly. Sadly this led to Jay Jay falling for one scam after another by those sound proofing salesmen

JiveLad
30th-October-2009, 10:58 AM
Yes I will admit I am quite a noisy person, that has never been guilty of entering a room quietly. Sadly this led to Jay Jay falling for one scam after another by those sound proofing salesmen

Yes - and I heard that one of the scams, was that they wanted to test the sound-proofing under 'full and realistic' Garage conditions. This meant that she had to get dressed in that outfit, crank up the machinery, let rip with the satsumas and give it to Bob (the salesman) for what it's worth. Anyway, apparently he left the place with a big smile after a few screams - and just one scar - across his left cheek.

Jay Jay
31st-October-2009, 10:23 AM
Yes - and I heard that one of the scams, was that they wanted to test the sound-proofing under 'full and realistic' Garage conditions. This meant that she had to get dressed in that outfit, crank up the machinery, let rip with the satsumas and give it to Bob (the salesman) for what it's worth. Anyway, apparently he left the place with a big smile after a few screams - and just one scar - across his left cheek.

Actually it wasn't 'that' outfit it was the pink rabbit one (the man had a fetish) and the aids used were oranges

JiveLad
2nd-November-2009, 11:33 AM
Actually it wasn't 'that' outfit it was the pink rabbit one (the man had a fetish) and the aids used were oranges

Was that the when there was a Garage Menu - and you had to ask "Now is it to be the satsuma sex or an apple arse whipping or an orange orgasm?

.....and he went for the orange choice - with a side dish of melons.

Jay Jay
2nd-November-2009, 01:11 PM
Was that the when there was a Garage Menu - and you had to ask "Now is it to be the satsuma sex or an apple arse whipping or an orange orgasm?

.....and he went for the orange choice - with a side dish of melons.

FYI there is still a Garage Menu but now it is a la carte with lots of interesting entrees. He went for the Citrus Kebab with a home made Ballotine....he enjoyed it immensely but for reasons only known to himself he has never been back :sick:

MarkW
2nd-November-2009, 11:52 PM
FYI there is still a Garage Menu but now it is a la carte with lots of interesting entrees. He went for the Citrus Kebab with a home made Ballotine....he enjoyed it immensely but for reasons only known to himself he has never been back :sick:

It's because the whole experience proved too much for him. Now he sits on the Essex borders and snorts a kilogram of grated satsuma zest every day trying to recapture the moment. You blew his mind and now he can't remember how to get back to the garage.

Jay Jay
3rd-November-2009, 12:19 AM
It's because the whole experience proved too much for him. Now he sits on the Essex borders and snorts a kilogram of grated satsuma zest every day trying to recapture the moment. You blew his mind and now he can't remember how to get back to the garage.

:lol::lol:
That is sooooo funny.......it made me spill my juice!

But don't worry I've tied him to 'THE CHAIR' which is on castors and I can get him back anytime I wish...I just don't wish...he is not up to our dancing men :D

Maxine
4th-November-2009, 12:13 PM
:lol::lol:
That is sooooo funny.......it made me spill my juice!

But don't worry I've tied him to 'THE CHAIR' which is on castors and I can get him back anytime I wish...I just don't wish...he is not up to our dancing men :D

All was going so well until the 2 nosy pastors for nearby Hertfordshire stepped in to rescue him and they are now planning to send him off to a ministry in Africa in a hope of saving his soul

Jay Jay
4th-November-2009, 02:04 PM
All was going so well until the 2 nosy pastors for nearby Hertfordshire stepped in to rescue him and they are now planning to send him off to a ministry in Africa in a hope of saving his soul

That's what they think :wink:........ he is actually going to open up a Franchise of 'The Garage' over there, (a new business venture for me), where as a speciality to all his new patrons he will be showing of his coconuts in all their glory :eek:

JiveLad
7th-November-2009, 09:08 AM
That's what they think :wink:........ he is actually going to open up a Franchise of 'The Garage' over there, (a new business venture for me), where as a speciality to all his new patrons he will be showing of his coconuts in all their glory :eek:

Yes - well the coconuts are a-plenty there - certainly not on rations - and I seem to recall he was putting together a flyer to advertise the new Garage and the coconuts.....looked summat like this:

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PMO2919.jpg

Jay Jay
8th-November-2009, 07:58 PM
Yes - well the coconuts are a-plenty there - certainly not on rations - and I seem to recall he was putting together a flyer to advertise the new Garage and the coconuts.....looked summat like this:


Sadly I think he had a bad accident and is in critical condition as he put the flyers across his ford Cortina facing in to the car and caused a bit of a pile up :doh:

Maxine
9th-November-2009, 10:11 AM
Sadly I think he had a bad accident and is in critical condition as he put the flyers across his ford Cortina facing in to the car and caused a bit of a pile up :doh:

That reminds me of the halcyon days back in the late 70's, early 80’s when Essex was truly at the fore (for chav sadly) my neighbour Steve had his jacked up Cortina complete with furry dice and nodding dog in the back carting along his beautiful girlfriend Tracy (I knew that was her name as it was proudly displayed in the windscreen along side his name), sheer class

Jay Jay
15th-November-2009, 12:05 PM
That reminds me of the halcyon days back in the late 70's, early 80’s when Essex was truly at the fore (for chav sadly) my neighbour Steve had his jacked up Cortina complete with furry dice and nodding dog in the back carting along his beautiful girlfriend Tracy (I knew that was her name as it was proudly displayed in the windscreen along side his name), sheer class

I also remember those rubber fingers that made it look like there was someone shut in the boot of your car.....or was that really one migrant or another that you did actually put in the boot of your car :sick:....Maxine, is that where it all started?

MarkW
17th-November-2009, 10:40 PM
I also remember those rubber fingers that made it look like there was someone shut in the boot of your car.....or was that really one migrant or another that you did actually put in the boot of your car :sick:....Maxine, is that where it all started?

Are you saying that Maxine tarting around in tastefully accessorised motors in the early 80's is in some way a precursor to the troubles at Sangatte? Makes sense to me.

Jay Jay
17th-November-2009, 11:24 PM
Are you saying that Maxine tarting around in tastefully accessorised motors in the early 80's is in some way a precursor to the troubles at Sangatte? Makes sense to me.

Well her road has now been renamed Sangatte Mews, it is all becoming so much clearer to me now :doh:, but her growing family serve a mean granita when it gets too hot :wink:

rubyred
22nd-November-2009, 10:21 PM
Well her road has now been renamed Sangatte Mews, it is all becoming so much clearer to me now :doh:, but her growing family serve a mean granita when it gets too hot :wink:
Their stomachs have the constitution of granite, and they can stand the cold splashes without pain!!

MarkW
24th-November-2009, 09:37 PM
Their stomachs have the constitution of granite, and they can stand the cold splashes without pain!!

That ability to take as well as give pain meant that she had no problems with her coarse work as a trainee mistress :whip:

JiveLad
25th-November-2009, 07:44 PM
That ability to take as well as give pain meant that she had no problems with her coarse work as a trainee mistress :whip:

Yes when she trained - she reached 'O' level very quickly - although she found the 'A' levels a bit of a pain in the butt. Rumours are that she was a teacher's pet - and she took the concept of teacher petting into a whole new dimension.

MarkW
25th-November-2009, 11:23 PM
Yes when she trained - she reached 'O' level very quickly - although she found the 'A' levels a bit of a pain in the butt. Rumours are that she was a teacher's pet - and she took the concept of teacher petting into a whole new dimension.

Those who've never met her will find it hard to believe that a whip can be wielded in a good natured way. But add a garage ambience and Maxine and it can. Oh, baby, it can :worthy: :awe:

rubyred
26th-November-2009, 12:03 AM
Those who've never met her will find it hard to believe that a whip can be wielded in a good natured way. But add a garage ambience and Maxine and it can. Oh, baby, it can :worthy: :awe:
IMO she was nurtured well by the mistresses in the garage when she learnt her trade in whipery, the Essex gang have it sussed and feed their students on a diet of satsumas, whipped cream, and chocolate :yum:

Maxine
30th-November-2009, 12:00 PM
IMO she was nurtured well by the mistresses in the garage when she learnt her trade in whipery, the Essex gang have it sussed and feed their students on a diet of satsumas, whipped cream, and chocolate :yum:

I am not one to be rude but, in your excitement to bring Essex into further disrepute (if that is possible on this thread) you put an 8 letter word ‘nurtured’ but don’t worry I am not one to wield the whip (well not in public), so I have taken an executive decision and dropped one and changed one. Harmony has been restored

MarkW
1st-December-2009, 12:28 AM
I am not one to be rude but, in your excitement to bring Essex into further disrepute (if that is possible on this thread) you put an 8 letter word ‘nurtured’ but don’t worry I am not one to wield the whip (well not in public), so I have taken an executive decision and dropped one and changed one. Harmony has been restored

So, if I mentioned that episode with the buttered cucumber again it would maybe tip you over the edge :devil:

Oh no! Eight again. Is my butt due some serious Maxine attention again for being naughty? The things I do for love :flower:

Maxine
2nd-December-2009, 09:58 AM
So, if I mentioned that episode with the buttered cucumber again it would maybe tip you over the edge :devil:

Oh no! Eight again. Is my butt due some serious Maxine attention again for being naughty? The things I do for love :flower:

:rofl::rofl:Very clever MarkW, like it

I don’t like to reprimand or be to harsh, but duty calls :whip:Sorry will rub it better later:hug:

MarkW
4th-December-2009, 07:04 PM
:rofl::rofl:Very clever MarkW, like it

I don’t like to reprimand or be to harsh, but duty calls :whip:Sorry will rub it better later:hug:

Et tu Busty. Then fall Caesar.

(The rubbing will stop the falling. Thanks :friend:)

Jay Jay
27th-December-2009, 01:07 PM
Okay this little Miss Santa is back...having had her sack filled with lots of bounty over Christmas the garage has never looked so good and festive :wink: and anyone that needs a good work out it is now open again. So bring your little chipolatas along for a new year celebration and let's have a party. We can be inventive and make a nice 'us butty' :clap:

Maxine
30th-December-2009, 09:49 AM
Okay this little Miss Santa is back...having had her sack filled with lots of bounty over Christmas the garage has never looked so good and festive :wink: and anyone that needs a good work out it is now open again. So bring your little chipolatas along for a new year celebration and let's have a party. We can be inventive and make a nice 'us butty' :clap:

Jay Jay, forget those little chipolatas, they won’t satisfy any one. The only thing that will do is a nice fat sausage butty is the order of the day

Jay Jay
30th-December-2009, 10:04 PM
Jay Jay, forget those little chipolatas, they won’t satisfy any one. The only thing that will do is a nice fat sausage butty is the order of the day

Sometimes it's the quantity not the quality....how many chipolatas can you get in your mouth at once? Always a good game to play at parties :blush: the 'tubists' always win though :sick:

MarkW
3rd-January-2010, 09:59 PM
Sometimes it's the quantity not the quality....how many chipolatas can you get in your mouth at once? Always a good game to play at parties :blush: the 'tubists' always win though :sick:

Really, all these comments about chipolatas and butties are fine up to a point, but if you're not careful someone might take it the wrong way :naughty:.

Jay Jay
3rd-January-2010, 11:59 PM
Really, all these comments about chipolatas and butties are fine up to a point, but if you're not careful someone might take it the wrong way :naughty:.


:eek: and we wouldn't want that itcould be painful but it could also make the garage the busiest it's ever been:sick:

MarkW
14th-January-2010, 11:14 PM
:eek: and we wouldn't want that itcould be painful but it could also make the garage the busiest it's ever been:sick:

Not many could subsist on a diet of chipolata butties. Better stick to citrus fruits in the garage in keeping with its emphasis on health and an upstanding way of life.

Maxine
15th-January-2010, 10:24 AM
Not many could subsist on a diet of chipolata butties. Better stick to citrus fruits in the garage in keeping with its emphasis on health and an upstanding way of life.

You are so right MarkW, it is not just high quality food we need to think about. To add to the new ambience of the garage I have procured some rather delightful impressionist artwork and have commissioned some local cubists to produce a special piece of artwork, will let you know when it arrives

rubyred
16th-January-2010, 04:02 PM
You are so right MarkW, it is not just high quality food we need to think about. To add to the new ambience of the garage I have procured some rather delightful impressionist artwork and have commissioned some local cubists to produce a special piece of artwork, will let you know when it arrives

Ah then we sit and muse what was cubism's impact on the sexual revolution, I preferred the romantic period myself:whistle:

Jay Jay
19th-January-2010, 02:27 PM
Ah then we sit and muse what was cubism's impact on the sexual revolution, I preferred the romantic period myself:whistle:

...........whilst fiddling with our Rubik cubes and getting square eyes, ah! fond memories that submits :awe:

JiveLad
19th-January-2010, 06:28 PM
...........whilst fiddling with our Rubik cubes and getting square eyes, ah! fond memories that submits :awe:

Oh crikey - please ladies - can we just get back to our normal mode and stick to our knittting please? By that I mean, each post should include (by way of innuendo or double entendre) reference to bum, tits or willies. This also includes connection between, and interaction of, the aforementioned body parts. Any resultant bodily fluids may also be referred to if required.

Example references include fruits (eg. melons, plums, coconuts, nuts, peaches, satsumas, pomegranates, Sharon fruit and grapes*) other foods (eg. sausages or chipolatas) and different animals (eg. cats).

* the last 3 require further investigation.

Occasional references to firemen and their appliances are welcomed.

MarkW
19th-January-2010, 09:50 PM
Oh crikey - please ladies - can we just get back to our normal mode and stick to our knittting please? By that I mean, each post should include (by way of innuendo or double entendre) reference to bum, tits or willies. This also includes connection between, and interaction of, the aforementioned body parts. Any resultant bodily fluids may also be referred to if required.

Example references include fruits (eg. melons, plums, coconuts, nuts, peaches, satsumas, pomegranates, Sharon fruit and grapes*) other foods (eg. sausages or chipolatas) and different animals (eg. cats).

* the last 3 require further investigation.

Occasional references to firemen and their appliances are welcomed.

Thank heavens some attempt at restoring normal service is being made :clap:

It might seem odd then that I would introduce the element bismuth (symbol Bi) into this thread. However those who find this intriguing could be described as Bi-curious which I think is totally in keeping with the general ethos that we have worked so hard to maintain.

rubyred
21st-January-2010, 01:36 AM
Thank heavens some attempt at restoring normal service is being made :clap:

It might seem odd then that I would introduce the element bismuth (symbol Bi) into this thread. However those who find this intriguing could be described as Bi-curious which I think is totally in keeping with the general ethos that we have worked so hard to maintain.

You men you just want smut..bah so do all of us really:whistle:, so lets get down and dirty and talk about willies, tits and bums again and not forgetting satumas, apparently they are super foods when it comes to anything to do with feeding erogenous zones !!!! Lets go girls :cheers:

Maxine
21st-January-2010, 09:51 AM
You men you just want smut..bah so do all of us really:whistle:, so lets get down and dirty and talk about willies, tits and bums again and not forgetting satumas, apparently they are super foods when it comes to anything to do with feeding erogenous zones !!!! Lets go girls :cheers:


Actually I am sitting here admiring my satsumas as I type this out – always does it for me.

Well I have a suggestion let’s nip around to the garage and all fight it out in a nice warm mudbath:D.

JiveLad
21st-January-2010, 10:14 AM
Actually I am sitting here admiring my satsumas as I type this out – always does it for me.

Well I have a suggestion let’s nip around to the garage and all fight it out in a nice warm mudbath:D.


And before the mudbath - just going back to the satsumas and errogenous zones. Apparently, the approved Garage technique is that first you must squirt the juice into the cup and then you must dab some of the juice onto your tongue before participating in the a full satsuma Garage experience.

Did you try that?

Mudbath photos may follow later depending on the appropriateness.

Maxine
22nd-January-2010, 09:56 AM
And before the mudbath - just going back to the satsumas and errogenous zones. Apparently, the approved Garage technique is that first you must squirt the juice into the cup and then you must dab some of the juice onto your tongue before participating in the a full satsuma Garage experience.

Did you try that?

Mudbath photos may follow later depending on the appropriateness.

Well JiveLad this all sounds very inviting but I only hope that you can cut the mustard

JiveLad
22nd-January-2010, 10:42 AM
Well JiveLad this all sounds very inviting but I only hope that you can cut the mustard

Well I have had a few challenging experiences on the way - in fact a few traumas - but now I feel that everything is pointing to that orange fruit - coming from all directions. I sense it. I smell it - I can feel it is about to appear.

Yes - I just need someone to say that word - and say it boldly - those 7 letters of orange fruit which mean so much! Please do it, give it to me!

Maxine
23rd-January-2010, 01:27 PM
Well I have had a few challenging experiences on the way - in fact a few traumas - but now I feel that everything is pointing to that orange fruit - coming from all directions. I sense it. I smell it - I can feel it is about to appear.

Yes - I just need someone to say that word - and say it boldly - those 7 letters of orange fruit which mean so much! Please do it, give it to me!

JiveLad I hate to see you suffer these traumas, so climb out of the mudbath and rub yourself down and let me give you what you are longing for ........ a nice juicy Satsuma:yum:. Could life get any better:D

PS thanks JL for setting me up so perfectly

rubyred
5th-February-2010, 12:42 AM
JiveLad I hate to see you suffer these traumas, so climb out of the mudbath and rub yourself down and let me give you what you are longing for ........ a nice juicy Satsuma:yum:. Could life get any better:D

PS thanks JL for setting me up so perfectly

Picture it ...the garage...Essex...soft lights....two maestros...chocolate cream smeared tantalising across a bed of hot satsumas...whilst Jive Lad and Mistrel Mark strum a tune on their organs...and get a dressing down for leaving mud prints all over the leopard print rug :rolleyes:from the Mistresses:whip:...life better than this?....

Jay Jay
25th-February-2010, 12:46 AM
Picture it ...the garage...Essex...soft lights....two maestros...chocolate cream smeared tantalising across a bed of hot satsumas...whilst Jive Lad and Mistrel Mark strum a tune on their organs...and get a dressing down for leaving mud prints all over the leopard print rug :rolleyes:from the Mistresses:whip:...life better than this?....

I feel a reprimand is needed. I haven't been around this place for a while and whilst I've been away you have been running amok and going around smearing my lovely soft furnishings with mud prints :eek: and misusing the seven letter word game with six letters :doh:..............soo glad I am back. Unstrap the tool kit....Mistress Jay Jay is back :D

JiveLad
25th-February-2010, 01:22 AM
I feel a reprimand is needed. I haven't been around this place for a while and whilst I've been away you have been running amok and going around smearing my lovely soft furnishings with mud prints :eek: and misusing the seven letter word game with six letters :doh:..............soo glad I am back. Unstrap the tool kit....Mistress Jay Jay is back :D

:D
You have been sorely missed (so to speak). Is this the new deluxe tookit? If so, then unclick those straps 'n take those baps out - we're hungry.

PS - I have a radical new idea for this game.............details to be revealed soon!!

Jay Jay
25th-February-2010, 01:45 PM
:D
You have been sorely missed (so to speak). Is this the new deluxe tookit? If so, then unclick those straps 'n take those baps out - we're hungry.

PS - I have a radical new idea for this game.............details to be revealed soon!!

Well I did have to give you time for the wounds to heal :blush:

Anyway, I have had a look in the tool kit and it appears to be quite spartan...I hope members of the garage are not taking items home for a little bit of 'homework', remember what goes in the garage...stays in the garage :whip:I am going to Coco der Mer later will pick up some essentials..............that'll get you all googling :wink:

..........intrigued JL what are your radical new ideas?

Jay Jay
28th-August-2010, 02:12 PM
Well I did have to give you time for the wounds to heal :blush:

Anyway, I have had a look in the tool kit and it appears to be quite spartan...I hope members of the garage are not taking items home for a little bit of 'homework', remember what goes in the garage...stays in the garage :whip:I am going to Coco der Mer later will pick up some essentials..............that'll get you all googling :wink:

..........intrigued JL what are your radical new ideas?

Okay, I have just come back to the dormant garage that has been left for 6 months unattended :sad: It needs a good going over.........am sure some of the visitors probably do too by now.............so have laid a MANTRAP and have got hold of a painter to give it the once over and it should be brand spanking new and raring to go.........will have to have a grand opening perhaps Maxine can organise it :eek:, she's good at those.

rubyred
30th-August-2010, 10:57 PM
Okay, I have just come back to the dormant garage that has been left for 6 months unattended :sad: It needs a good going over.........am sure some of the visitors probably do too by now.............so have laid a MANTRAP and have got hold of a painter to give it the once over and it should be brand spanking new and raring to go.........will have to have a grand opening perhaps Maxine can organise it :eek:, she's good at those.
well I hope I get a VIP invite to the spanking new garage :wink:where I am lead to believe the old mantras will be screamed out loud again, from six months ago I recall JiveLad's in particular to have been 'mercy' 'help me' ' no not not again', all for the love of melons :rolleyes:

Jay Jay
31st-August-2010, 12:18 AM
well I hope I get a VIP invite to the spanking new garage :wink:where I am lead to believe the old mantras will be screamed out loud again, from six months ago I recall JiveLad's in particular to have been 'mercy' 'help me' ' no not not again', all for the love of melons :rolleyes:

Well unfortunately they couldn't smarten up the old garage and I think it is time for a new setting.........so we have moved to a beautiful tree house in the depths of nowhere among many trees offering a variety of fruity delights....I can see already from the watchtower some plums I cannot wait to sink my teeth in to.

Maxine
2nd-September-2010, 08:48 AM
Well unfortunately they couldn't smarten up the old garage and I think it is time for a new setting.........so we have moved to a beautiful tree house in the depths of nowhere among many trees offering a variety of fruity delights....I can see already from the watchtower some plums I cannot wait to sink my teeth in to.

I hear that even an industrial steamer could not clear away the filth from that place; so a fresh new venue to explore seems like a very sensible idea

Jay Jay
2nd-September-2010, 12:15 PM
I hear that even an industrial steamer could not clear away the filth from that place; so a fresh new venue to explore seems like a very sensible idea

Shame the garage does hold some of the dearest memories..........but onwards and upwards tis lovely to gaze up at the stars from amongst the bushes

MarkW
2nd-September-2010, 01:48 PM
Shame the garage does hold some of the dearest memories..........but onwards and upwards tis lovely to gaze up at the stars from amongst the bushes

So, from the garage to the treehouse. I don't usually get up that far but I'm sure someone will give me a hand.

We could chat about holidays. I heard Maxine talking about sunny holiday climes. At least I assume she was as I only caught a snatch of what she was saying; the words "very hot" and "being roasted" must have been holiday reminiscences.

rubyred
2nd-September-2010, 07:18 PM
So, from the garage to the treehouse. I don't usually get up that far but I'm sure someone will give me a hand.

We could chat about holidays. I heard Maxine talking about sunny holiday climes. At least I assume she was as I only caught a snatch of what she was saying; the words "very hot" and "being roasted" must have been holiday reminiscences.
Maxine has already boasted about her hot memories in the garage, and I have to say I quite like the idea of returning to it when the weather is cold. But for now we should all help MarkW to raise himself up into the tree house, after all its only right to lend a helping hand to our friends:flower:

Maxine
2nd-September-2010, 08:04 PM
Maxine has already boasted about her hot memories in the garage, and I have to say I quite like the idea of returning to it when the weather is cold. But for now we should all help MarkW to raise himself up into the tree house, after all its only right to lend a helping hand to our friends:flower:

Yes indeed bitter sweet memories of when we toasted goodbye to the garage and turned to pastures new. I like rubyred am also happy to give a hand to the lovely MarkW (good to see you back and posting again MW)

Jay Jay
3rd-September-2010, 01:16 AM
Yes indeed bitter sweet memories of when we toasted goodbye to the garage and turned to pastures new. I like rubyred am also happy to give a hand to the lovely MarkW (good to see you back and posting again MW)

Our trips between the garage and the treehouse can be rotated, the old place had to be demolished unfortunately, but MarkW is handy with his tools perhaps he could build us a new one, but for now I'm happy hunting for conkers

rubyred
3rd-September-2010, 07:34 AM
Our trips between the garage and the treehouse can be rotated, the old place had to be demolished unfortunately, but MarkW is handy with his tools perhaps he could build us a new one, but for now I'm happy hunting for conkers
If MarkW gets his tools out and gets on with the job we could all be treated to a new garage, JiveLad could supply the nuts and bolts, and I am sure they could knock something up in no time :wink:

Maxine
3rd-September-2010, 08:11 AM
If MarkW gets his tools out and gets on with the job we could all be treated to a new garage, JiveLad could supply the nuts and bolts, and I am sure they could knock something up in no time :wink:

Isn't JL's contribution usually organic cream, only problem is last time I rubbed it on my skin, my skin reacted, I must be allergic to it, might have to stick to my normal brand

Bubble
3rd-September-2010, 06:57 PM
Isn't JL's contribution usually organic cream, only problem is last time I rubbed it on my skin, my skin reacted, I must be allergic to it, might have to stick to my normal brand

Oh dear. It sounds like you've been using it too often. I recommend cutting down to just two applications a day (morning and night). At lunchtime take an oral supplement of extract-of-plums, then finish each day with a bath in treacle.

rubyred
3rd-September-2010, 08:15 PM
Oh dear. It sounds like you've been using it too often. I recommend cutting down to just two applications a day (morning and night). At lunchtime take an oral supplement of extract-of-plums, then finish each day with a bath in treacle.
You'll come to a sticky end doing that and not end up much cleaner :eyebrow:

MarkW
4th-September-2010, 04:51 PM
You'll come to a sticky end doing that and not end up much cleaner :eyebrow:

It does sound like time to go nuclear and try a big bang approach. Softly softly has it's place but you're crying out for something harder.

rubyred
4th-September-2010, 08:16 PM
It does sound like time to go nuclear and try a big bang approach. Softly softly has it's place but you're crying out for something harder.
I think we should clean up our act on here, things are getting harder and harder and things are getting quite mucky at the moment :wink:

Maxine
5th-September-2010, 11:00 AM
I think we should clean up our act on here, things are getting harder and harder and things are getting quite mucky at the moment :wink:

I'm with you Ruby Red, I like to have things in place all nicely slotted in.

Jay Jay
6th-September-2010, 12:44 AM
I'm with you Ruby Red, I like to have things in place all nicely slotted in.

Yes and I am going thru an angelic phase :innocent:

rubyred
6th-September-2010, 01:07 PM
Yes and I am going thru an angelic phase :innocent:
:rofl::rofl:the chances of that Mistress Jay Jay are similar to a pelican not liking fish.....

Jay Jay
6th-September-2010, 02:23 PM
:rofl::rofl:the chances of that Mistress Jay Jay are similar to a pelican not liking fish.....

Explain :confused: don't know what you mean...............I was innocently brought in to this, I was an innocent librarian, just reading Barbara Cartland novels, whilst knitting bloomers to keep me warm and then entered JL and he led us all astray...........I blame it all on him!

Bubble
6th-September-2010, 04:01 PM
Explain :confused: don't know what you mean...............I was innocently brought in to this, I was an innocent librarian, just reading Barbara Cartland novels, whilst knitting bloomers to keep me warm and then entered JL and he led us all astray...........I blame it all on him!

GOOD GRIEF! I almost crashed my Biplane today when I heard everyone proclaiming their innocence. Well, let me say this for the record; I had hardly been here two minutes when one member proposed a new game named 'Dirty Bubble'. I need say no more! :naughty:

rubyred
6th-September-2010, 05:26 PM
GOOD GRIEF! I almost crashed my Biplane today when I heard everyone proclaiming their innocence. Well, let me say this for the record; I had hardly been here two minutes when one member proposed a new game named 'Dirty Bubble'. I need say no more! :naughty:
It was just one blip Bubble I am sure you are a very clean, angelic and spankingly clean living Bubble, but there is time yet for JL and MarkW to start their corruption processes..........:devil:

Jay Jay
7th-September-2010, 12:02 AM
It was just one blip Bubble I am sure you are a very clean, angelic and spankingly clean living Bubble, but there is time yet for JL and MarkW to start their corruption processes..........:devil:

Topline is...........is Bubble male or female?

Maxine
7th-September-2010, 01:35 PM
Topline is...........is Bubble male or female?

I think it might be politer to send Bubble a PM on this matter but I do think she is female, as I am sure I met her at Breeze last year.

MarkW
8th-September-2010, 12:09 AM
I think it might be politer to send Bubble a PM on this matter but I do think she is female, as I am sure I met her at Breeze last year.

There was a feature on a phenomenon called the South Sea bubble which I read about in my favourite paper, the Tripoli Clarionand Advertiser.

That doesn't really get us any further though. And the tide is rising, so with just a shout of "weigh anchor" to the customs official who nearly confiscated JL's leopard print posing pouch it is time to embark.

Maxine
9th-September-2010, 09:03 AM
There was a feature on a phenomenon called the South Sea bubble which I read about in my favourite paper, the Tripoli Clarionand Advertiser.

That doesn't really get us any further though. And the tide is rising, so with just a shout of "weigh anchor" to the customs official who nearly confiscated JL's leopard print posing pouch it is time to embark.

Was not almost MarkW, they did! and that would not have been so bad but that was all JL was wearing at the time:eek:

Never mind the trio lapped it up (Jay Jay Bubble and rubyred) and dinned out on that story for several days

MarkW
11th-September-2010, 06:19 PM
Was not almost MarkW, they did! and that would not have been so bad but that was all JL was wearing at the time:eek:

Never mind the trio lapped it up (Jay Jay Bubble and rubyred) and dinned out on that story for several days


Poor JL. I asked him for more detail and he confided that the procedure involved a body search, at one point involving a dilator - don't ask! I didn't dare to.

It must have been quite an ordeal because, after going back round again for only three times, he'd had enough.

Bubble
13th-September-2010, 06:37 PM
Poor JL. I asked him for more detail and he confided that the procedure involved a body search, at one point involving a dilator - don't ask! I didn't dare to.

It must have been quite an ordeal because, after going back round again for only three times, he'd had enough.

Ah yes..........poor Jivelad had a less than cordial departure experience at the hands of the customs officials.

JiveLad
13th-September-2010, 09:26 PM
Ah yes..........poor Jivelad had a less than cordial departure experience at the hands of the customs officials.

Well the first thing was my id - because I was not dressed in my usual garb: it went something like this:

"Hello, hello, hello, who do you think you are then?"

"I am JiveLad, 13th Duke of St. Albans, International Playboy of ill-repute (retired) and purveyor of mildly entertaining fare......."

Guffaws :lol: :doh: "Not possible!! He is in Monte Carlo or Macau or Las Vegas. Now young man. Are you Jive Lad or is the pope not a Catholic?"

rubyred
16th-September-2010, 08:38 PM
Well the first thing was my id - because I was not dressed in my usual garb: it went something like this:

"Hello, hello, hello, who do you think you are then?"

"I am JiveLad, 13th Duke of St. Albans, International Playboy of ill-repute (retired) and purveyor of mildly entertaining fare......."

Guffaws :lol: :doh: "Not possible!! He is in Monte Carlo or Macau or Las Vegas. Now young man. Are you Jive Lad or is the pope not a Catholic?"
well one has to wonder about the Pope these days :rolleyes:but I hear the retired playboy of St Albans was quite a l'adonis in his day perhaps he is here reminds me of a song..they seek him here they seek him there, I haven't seen El Duce for too long a time :sad:

Maxine
17th-September-2010, 08:52 AM
well one has to wonder about the Pope these days :rolleyes:but I hear the retired playboy of St Albans was quite a l'adonis in his day perhaps he is here reminds me of a song..they seek him here they seek him there, I haven't seen El Duce for too long a time :sad:

I have it on quite good authority that back in his day JL was a male model for underwear, specialising in the leopard print thongs. He may not of been London’s answer to Beau Brummell, but he was quite a superstar in St Albans

Bubble
25th-September-2010, 10:17 PM
I have it on quite good authority that back in his day JL was a male model for underwear, specialising in the leopard print thongs. He may not of been London’s answer to Beau Brummell, but he was quite a superstar in St Albans

Oh yes! I remember one of his catwalk appearances very well. A couple of Chinese ladies liked him so much they pelted him with Noodles. I think they wanted him to be the meat in their meal!

rubyred
26th-September-2010, 11:58 AM
Oh yes! I remember one of his catwalk appearances very well. A couple of Chinese ladies liked him so much they pelted him with Noodles. I think they wanted him to be the meat in their meal!
Yes I think he called himself 'Poodles galore'........

Bubble
4th-November-2010, 02:26 AM
Yes I think he called himself 'Poodles galore'........

Enough of the doggy style talk! Let's go for a ride on one of the pedalos available for hire.

JiveLad
4th-November-2010, 09:55 AM
Enough of the doggy style talk! Let's go for a ride on one of the pedalos available for hire.

Yes - oooh.....look over there. Some Ceroc Cougars lying down in their usual fashion, ready to entice their prey, with legs splayed apart.....

rubyred
4th-November-2010, 06:26 PM
Yes - oooh.....look over there. Some Ceroc Cougars lying down in their usual fashion, ready to entice their prey, with legs splayed apart.....
With the introductions of Cougars does this mean there will be even more players on the dance floor .........

Maxine
5th-November-2010, 09:41 AM
With the introductions of Cougars does this mean there will be even more players on the dance floor .........

I suspect that, that could be the answer to all his prayers

MarkW
8th-November-2010, 07:31 PM
I suspect that, that could be the answer to all his prayers

I did wonder if his fine November tan was due to a respray, but it turned out he had just sparred with Kristina Rihanoff. At least I think that's what he meant when he said she'd rubbed off on him.

Maxine
9th-November-2010, 10:10 AM
I did wonder if his fine November tan was due to a respray, but it turned out he had just sparred with Kristina Rihanoff. At least I think that's what he meant when he said she'd rubbed off on him.

I do know for a fact that he has had what we call the Essex Glow, sprayed about his person – you have to be very careful with the spray tan look it can be a bit orange or sometimes can look a bit patchy, where it gets rubbed.

MarkW
9th-November-2010, 07:20 PM
I do know for a fact that he has had what we call the Essex Glow, sprayed about his person – you have to be very careful with the spray tan look it can be a bit orange or sometimes can look a bit patchy, where it gets rubbed.

Hmmm ... looking a bit orange ... maybe not ... but looking like a satsuma :drool: Do you need to wear special diapers while the spray tan dries or do you go au naturel?

Bubble
24th-November-2010, 07:30 PM
Hmmm ... looking a bit orange ... maybe not ... but looking like a satsuma :drool: Do you need to wear special diapers while the spray tan dries or do you go au naturel?

Last time I was forced to go au naturel. :eek:

Some raiders entered the locker room while I was gone and stole all my possesions. :sad:

Maxine
25th-November-2010, 09:48 AM
Last time I was forced to go au naturel. :eek:

Some raiders entered the locker room while I was gone and stole all my possesions. :sad:

Well I arrived at the conclusion a while ago that au naturel is just not for me. I never say no to few little enhancements (strictly non surgical – my assets are all my own)