PDA

View Full Version : Unfortunate Names



Lounge Lizard
22nd-October-2003, 10:13 AM
This reminded me of a guy I knew who was called Ivor Whitehead - Evil parents or what:devil:
What names or quotes (eg. the batsman's holding the bowlers willie) have you got

TheTramp
22nd-October-2003, 10:18 AM
I had a friend in London (non-dancer) who used his middle name, and was called Andy Bennett. No surprise really, since his first name was Gordon.

My friends mother, who was called Daisy, married a Mr. Cheney.

And I did once also know a Christine Cross

Steve

Bardsey
22nd-October-2003, 10:39 AM
Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
This reminded me of a guy I knew who was called Ivor Whitehead - Evil parents or what:devil:
What names or quotes (eg. the batsman's holding the bowlers willie) have you got

:rofl: Loved the pic..... very funny.....

Pammy
22nd-October-2003, 10:42 AM
Used to have a Mr Richard Head at school, and yes he did used to shorten it; oh and a Mr Bottomly and we have a Mrs Kuntz who rings up here at work :sorry

Bardsey
22nd-October-2003, 10:46 AM
:D These just get better and better..... Mrs Kuntz ....poor lady....lol

Oh dear, these jokes have just brightened my day. Thanks for that.

Dave Hancock
22nd-October-2003, 10:48 AM
Had a German lecturer at Uni called Fanny Misfeldt, gave us hours of pleasure!

Lounge Lizard
22nd-October-2003, 11:06 AM
Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Had a German lecturer at Uni called Fanny Misfeldt, gave us hours of pleasure!
The name or the action:wink:

Dave Hancock
22nd-October-2003, 11:07 AM
:rofl: :rofl:

Stuart M
22nd-October-2003, 11:22 AM
Strathclyde Regional Council had someone called Basil Bush in the Architecture Department when I worked there. Always wondered whether his parents were hippies, kid's TV fans, or into herbacous borders...:rolleyes:

Forte
22nd-October-2003, 11:23 AM
My colleague's daughter is called Iona Wrench (wonder if she owns a spanner, too?):what:

Reklaw
22nd-October-2003, 04:22 PM
Did you know the german company, Siemens', policy is to answer the phone with "Siemens" followed by the town in which the office is located? Try ringing up the Staines branch....:)

Boomer
22nd-October-2003, 04:27 PM
Not sure how true this is, but Blueyonder is, phonetically, the same as the Polish for 'Blue B******s' .

Bardsey
22nd-October-2003, 04:27 PM
Originally posted by Reklaw
Did you know the german company, Siemens', policy is to answer the phone with "Siemens" followed by the town in which the office is located? Try ringing up the Staines branch....:)

:rofl: :rofl: Oh I like that one, really made me giggle.

Pammy
22nd-October-2003, 04:30 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Not sure how true this is, but Blueyonder is, phonetically, the same as the Polish for 'Blue B******s' .

Yeah Yeah, bring it on! :sorry

Reklaw
22nd-October-2003, 04:31 PM
Originally posted by Bardsey
:rofl: :rofl: Oh I like that one, really made me giggle. Ah, the old ones are the best :wink:

Dance Demon
22nd-October-2003, 05:53 PM
Back in the early 70s, Scottish Television used to have a teatime magazine program called "Here & Now", presented by a chap called Bill Tennant. Once a week, he had a cooking spot which featured Fanny & Johnny Craddock. One week they were showing how to make your own doughnuts. At the end of the show, bill was doing his closing bits, telling who would be his guest tomorrow etc etc.....and it was then that he uttered those fateful words whilst munching on a doughnut...........and for those of you who are having a go at making your own doughnuts, ...I hope they turn out like Fanny's......
Don't think he ever lived it down, and it was a great source of amusement for us schoolboys:rolleyes:

Lory
22nd-October-2003, 06:30 PM
I went to school with a boy called Robert Oliver Locks... his nick name was of course Bob, hence .... B O LOCKS

and another unfortunate indian boy whos parents decided that Shital was a nice name! lol

Tiggerbabe
22nd-October-2003, 08:44 PM
In my last office I got two letters in the same day -
one from Silke Dickie and the other from Mr Treblecock

Lory
23rd-October-2003, 10:15 AM
Originally posted by Sheena
In my last office I got two letters in the same day -
one from Silke Dickie and the other from Mr Treblecock Lucky you Sheena! he he he

Martin
23rd-October-2003, 03:35 PM
What a wonderful thread Peter,

You obviously have as much time on your hands as I do :D

My maths lecturer at college was called Richard Waurt

I often wondered if he had any sexual success with females once he mentioned this...

Marty

Dave Hancock
24th-October-2003, 03:19 PM
Hope this link works, there is a phenomenally funny story which is relevant to names here.



http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12866149,00.html

Bardsey
24th-October-2003, 03:22 PM
Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Hope this link works, there is a phenomenally funny story which is relevant to names here.



http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12866149,00.html

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Excellent !!

Forte
24th-October-2003, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Hope this link works, there is a phenomenally funny story which is relevant to names here.



http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12866149,00.html

brill!!!:hug: Oh and well done Dave...I see you and Monika were placed at Scot champs....:cheers: (another thread...oops DS will shout at me again for going off thread!)

Lory
24th-October-2003, 03:49 PM
Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Hope this link works, there is a phenomenally funny story which is relevant to names here.



http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12866149,00.html :rofl: :cheers:

Dreadful Scathe
24th-October-2003, 03:49 PM
Im not going to be shouting at ANYBODY. SO there.

Go off thread if you like :)

Heres some REAL names I found on a web site...

Gordon Zola

Russell Sprout

Kate & Sidney Pie

O. B. Jing

Mr. Tom O'Marto

Mr. Appleton married in Eastern Europe, his wife's new name was Mrs. Appletonova

Chris P. Bacon

The Reverend Canaan Banana

Mr. O-ni-ons

Phyllida Cod

Mr. Fish, Mr. Fry and Mr. Gill

and from persnal experience, when i worked for a survey company years ago we got a 16 year old school leaver in whose name was Andrea Prentice...geddit :)

Lou
28th-October-2003, 09:42 AM
HP used to boast the wonderfully named Sundance Cartwright and Fanny Rivet :sick:, and I worked at RR with Tom Bowler. :grin:

Bardsey
28th-October-2003, 12:55 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe

Heres some REAL names I found on a web site...

:cheers: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Come one, you're making some of those up, surely!!!!

I know a guy called Andy King or A King as he's affectionately known!

Dance Demon
28th-October-2003, 08:54 PM
Used to work beside a guy called Tommy Gunn......
And a mate reckons he had a director in his firm called Roger Dring ..........ouch!!!!!:what:

psyc0diver
5th-November-2003, 11:08 AM
Try these names out

Lory
5th-November-2003, 11:12 AM
brilliant psyc0diver!


:rofl:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 11:12 AM
Originally posted by psyc0diver
Try these names out

:rofl:

Just remembered, my middle name is Thomas, and mother (gawd beless 'er) wanted to call me John :what: - thank you dad :cheers:

Pammy
5th-November-2003, 12:07 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
:rofl:

Just remembered, my middle name is Thomas, and mother (gawd beless 'er) wanted to call me John :what: - thank you dad :cheers:

just think who I'd become if I married Nigel! :what: :really: :sick:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
just think who I'd become if I married Nigel! :what: :really: :sick:

Oh that's lovely that is, the thought of marrying Nigel makes you feel sick :rofl: Oh I can't wait till your next Tuesday at Hippies :devil:

Pammy
5th-November-2003, 01:18 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Oh that's lovely that is, the thought of marrying Nigel makes you feel sick :rofl:

You was the one who asked for my hand last night so surely it would make you sick, right :wink:

Martin
5th-November-2003, 01:24 PM
Someone wanting to marry Nigel - But he is not house trained yet!!!

You will have a task on your hands...

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by Martin
Someone wanting to marry Nigel - But he is not house trained yet!!!

You will have a task on your hands...

If he's not house trained you'll have more than a task on your hands :sick: :grin:

Dissemble all you want Ms Glitter, I'm still looking forward to your next Nigel class :devil: :grin:

Forte
5th-November-2003, 02:20 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
You was the one who asked for my hand last night so surely it would make you sick, right :wink:

Do I need to have a present ready for when you come up to Aberdeen...?:D

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 02:22 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Do I need to have a present ready for when you come up to Aberdeen...?:D

She meant for a dance!! :blush: Oh I hope Smurfey sees how far off topic you are and gives you such a shouting at :devil: and mentions spiders and big ships :yum:

:nice:

Pammy
5th-November-2003, 02:57 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
She meant for a dance!!

Blimey, will you and Chris stop picking on me, it's making the thought of marrying Nigel looks almost inviting :tears:

Forte
5th-November-2003, 04:49 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
She meant for a dance!! :blush: Oh I hope Smurfey sees how far off topic you are and gives you such a shouting at :devil: and mentions spiders and big ships :yum:

:nice:

Oi! Watch it with the D.S. threats or I will be forced to call you an unfortunate name...(See! I got it back on thread!!! :rofl: )

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 05:42 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Blimey, will you and Chris stop picking on me, it's making the thought of marrying Nigel looks almost inviting :tears:

Right, sorted my mood out, and time to kick a**!!! :grin:

I madam, was defending you! It was Forte (gonna buy her a big spoon :devil: ) who was picking on you! I was merely trying to defend you r honour :what:

Forte, DS!?! Ha, careful lest I discover that you shall be at BB (, in Aberdeen...on the 22nd...details on the eponymous thread...) and decide that Wrongs need righting!!!!! Forte will indeed become an unfortunate name :nice:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Right, sorted my mood out, and time to kick a**!!! :grin:

I madam, was defending you! It was Forte (gonna buy her a big spoon :devil: ) who was picking on you! I was merely trying to defend you r honour :what:

Forte, DS!?! Ha, careful lest I discover that you shall be at BB (, in Aberdeen...on the 22nd...details on the eponymous thread...) and decide that wrongs need righting!!!!! Forte will indeed become an unfortunate name :nice:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 05:44 PM
That's a bad stutter I've picked up :blush: How do I delete a post? :blush: Sorry :blush:

ChrisA
5th-November-2003, 05:48 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Blimey, will you and Chris stop picking on me, it's making the thought of marrying Nigel looks almost inviting :tears:
[Awakes from afternoon nap]
Eh? Wha????

:confused: :confused:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 05:51 PM
Originally posted by ChrisA
[Awakes from afternoon nap]
Eh? Wha????

:confused: :confused:

You an me both mate, you an me both. Try and do the good thing and get shouted at :tears: AND I start to stutter. :sad:

Bardsey
5th-November-2003, 05:54 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Oi! Watch it with the D.S. threats or I will be forced to call you an unfortunate name...(See! I got it back on thread!!! :rofl: )

Nice one !!! You're definitely on form today. Any news your end re: Blackpool? I keep forgetting to ask, what am I like? Dumb or what? :confused: :confused:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by Bardsey
...what am I like? Dumb or what? :confused: :confused:

Are you doing this on purpose :what: Have you no idea where this could go!! Are you crazy woman!?! :what:

:nice:

Dreadful Scathe
5th-November-2003, 06:13 PM
Whats this about big-ship eating spiders who want to marry Nigel ?!?! I read all the posts very quickly so maybe i lost the general meaning.


Oh look an announcement.....

Tag team event at beach Ballroom :



Dreadful Scathe and Forte

v's

Boomer and Bardsey.

Stripped to the waist, no name calling barred, knock out due to particularly witty put-down or submission by going off in the huff:)

Tickets available on ebay :)

Forte
5th-November-2003, 06:58 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Whats this about big-ship eating spiders who want to marry Nigel ?!?! I read all the posts very quickly so maybe i lost the general meaning.


Oh look an announcement.....

Tag team event at beach Ballroom :



Dreadful Scathe and Forte

v's

Boomer and Bardsey.

Stripped to the waist, no name calling barred, knock out due to particularly witty put-down or submission by going off in the huff:)

Tickets available on ebay :)

Stripped to the waist!!! Have you clocked the size of my...

spare tyre! No way is it going on display!!!:eek: :blush:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 07:08 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Stripped to the waist!!! Have you clocked the size of my...

spare tyre! No way is it going on display!!!:eek: :blush:

Bet mine's bigger than yours :yum: Bring it on! :grin:

Lets get ready to RUUMMMMBBAALLLLLLL!!!!! (I know its spelt wrong, but spelt correctly it looks rumb-leeeee) :nice:

DS, nope, that's about the long and short of it.


Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
...submission by going off in the huff:)

Tickets available on ebay :)

Do you mean nudey :what: Couldn't do that :blush: Or do you mean 'in a huff' ? :innocent:

Forte
5th-November-2003, 07:10 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Bet mine's bigger than yours :yum: Bring it on! :grin:

Lets get ready to RUUMMMMBBAALLLLLLL!!!!! (I know its spelt wrong, but spelt correctly it looks rumb-leeeee) :nice:

DS, nope, that's about the long and short of it.


Who's gonna buy tickets for a fight with a nancy boy who apologises for his spelling?


:rofl:

Boomer
5th-November-2003, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Who's gonna buy tickets for a fight with a nancy boy who apologises for his spelling?

:rofl:

Or a teacher with no appreciation of class. :grin:

Forte
5th-November-2003, 07:16 PM
Ouch! That hurt:tears:
I'm not playing any more. Tag! D.S. you're on!:wink:

Dreadful Scathe
5th-November-2003, 11:36 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Ouch! That hurt:tears:
I'm not playing any more. Tag! D.S. you're on!:wink:


Grrrr-r-r-r-r-r-oooowl

...kicks Boomer in kneecaps....


whats wrong with 'in the huff' ...thats sulking that is - sorry, i cant translate into monkey :D

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 04:45 AM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Grrrr-r-r-r-r-r-oooowl
...kicks Boomer in kneecaps....
Violence – first response of the ignorant

Quotes – first response of the uninspired. (Your sig)


whats wrong with 'in the huff' ...thats sulking that is - sorry, i cant translate into monkey :D

No wonder, you're having trouble translating from the English.:grin:

:cheers: :hug: :kiss:

Pammy
6th-November-2003, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by The King Of Quotes Himself
Quotes – first response of the uninspired. (Your sig)

Pot, Kettle?

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 10:50 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
Pot, Kettle?

Moi, how? Wheeeee

Please pay attention dear.....(hint, have a wee peek at me sig :hug: )

Pammy
6th-November-2003, 10:54 AM
Originally posted by Boomer
Moi, how? Wheeeee

Please pay attention dear.....(hint, have a wee peek at me sig :hug: )

I'm always paying attention, and ALWAYS in a good mood, even at 2am :grin:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 01:12 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Are you crazy woman!?! :what:

:nice:

Uh oh you're skating on very thin ice Boomster :rofl: :devil:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 01:16 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe


Oh look an announcement.....

Tag team event at beach Ballroom :



Dreadful Scathe and Forte

v's

Boomer and Bardsey.

Stripped to the waist, no name calling barred, knock out due to particularly witty put-down or submission by going off in the huff:)

Tickets available on ebay :)

Okay, Challenge accepted. Let battle commence.... er ...will we be doing that in mud? Cos there seems to be a lot of it being slung about at the mo :rofl: :rofl:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 01:20 PM
Originally posted by Forte
Stripped to the waist!!! Have you clocked the size of my...Hey hang on a min, Jacks! We could have them here. If we were BOTH at the front of the queue when they handed out the "upper extremities", it could be over in seconds. Submission by suffocation :rofl: :rofl:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Grrrr-r-r-r-r-r-oooowl

...kicks Boomer in kneecaps....


whats wrong with 'in the huff' ...thats sulking that is - sorry, i cant translate into monkey :D

:rofl: :rofl: Oh stop, my sides hurt from laughing so much!!!

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 01:42 PM
Hello Bardsey, how are you hunney? Thought we were meant to be on the same side? Maybe I was mistaken? Oh well.

Just for you hun'

http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1491

:nice:

Still thinking of a 'sters' name for you...won't be long now :hug:

Dreadful Scathe
6th-November-2003, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by Bardsey
Submission by suffocation :rofl: :rofl:

Im willing to submit to that sort of punishment. :D

Forte
6th-November-2003, 02:43 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Im willing to submit to that sort of punishment. :D

I'm a 34 E...Boomer has NO chance....:wink:

(Jackster)

CJ
6th-November-2003, 02:52 PM
Originally posted by Forte
I'm a 34 E...

That is one hell of a spare tyre!! (as you put it.:sorry )

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 03:46 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Hello Bardsey, how are you hunney? Thought we were meant to be on the same side? Maybe I was mistaken? Oh well.We are Boomster baby, I just kinda got side-tracked there for a mo..... well don't blame me.... I am a blond!!! :rofl:
Still thinking of a 'sters' name for you...won't be long now :hug: Ok :cheers: mate other than that I'm okay to go with Bardster (could have LOADS of fun watching people get their tongues round that when they've had a few :rofl: )

:hug: :kiss:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 03:48 PM
Dammit ! I keep forgetting to preview what I wrote and keep getting my messages mixed up in the quotes.

DUH !!!

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Forte
I'm a 34 E...Boomer has NO chance....:wink:

(Jackster)

SNAP !!!

Watch out, Boomer and DS :rofl:

Pammy
6th-November-2003, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by Bardsey
SNAP !!!

Was that your bra-strap snapping?

Px :wink:

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Was that your bra-strap snapping?

Px :wink:

Yep ! With the weight :blush: :rofl:

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 04:18 PM
!

Bardsey
6th-November-2003, 04:37 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
!

My God, Boomster... are you actually stuck for words????

:rofl:

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 04:48 PM
Originally posted by Bardsey
My God, Boomster... are you actually stuck for words????

:rofl:

As much as some would wish for that to be the case :grin: I cannot tell a lie, so must hold my hands up...its a fair cop guvna :sad: No, I’d actually typed before I’d thought and my reply was, in my opinion, too puerile – yep that’s saying something if one considers some of the babble I normally post :blush:. As such I felt the need to alter my reply somewhat.

Dreadful Scathe
6th-November-2003, 05:19 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
too puerile

Long Live Peurile comments. :D

I think me and Boomer will be watching this stripped to the waist battle from the sidelines :D it should be an interesting spectator sport

( but you won't catch me and Boomer comparing measurements...you know what they say about gorillas :D )

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Long Live Peurile comments. :D
( but you won't catch me and Boomer comparing measurements...you know what they say about gorillas :D )

Yep, hugh and powerful...Smurfs, small and blue. :rofl: I know, don't laugh at your own jokes, but I've just sprayed coffee over my shirt :blush:

Pammy
6th-November-2003, 05:28 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Yep, Hugh and powerful...

So you've finally come round to my way of thinking! :wink:

Dreadful Scathe
6th-November-2003, 06:07 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Yep, hugh and powerful

But who is this Hugh and do you really know him that well ? :D

Pammy
6th-November-2003, 06:10 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
But who is this Hugh and do you really know him that well ? :D

It's Hugh Grant I'm afraid DS. No, he doesn't know him well, he heard him on my answerphone and well, what can I say, it was love at first sight, or is that first sound? :confused: Anyway, he's a troubled lad, go easy on him...

not that easy! :wink:

Boomer
6th-November-2003, 07:02 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
Yep, hugh and powerful...

Bugger :blush:

Boomer
11th-November-2003, 01:37 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Long Live Peurile comments. :D
I think me and Boomer will be watching this stripped to the waist battle from the sidelines :D it should be an interesting spectator sport


yep, the unstoppable clashing with the immovable is always worth watching. Nothing beats the spectacle of four mighty titans locked in memorable combat.

DVD’s will be available no more than a week after the event, reasonable price – incredible ‘Bang-for-Buck’ value...and watch out the directors cut, and numerous special features, watch this space.

Pammy
12th-November-2003, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
DVD’s will be available no more than a week after the event, reasonable price – incredible ‘Bang-for-Buck’ value...and watch out the directors cut, and numerous special features, watch this space.

Could I be so bold as to put forward a certain actor for commentating/interviewing puposes? :wink:

Dreadful Scathe
12th-November-2003, 12:58 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Could I be so bold ?

is that a rhetorical question ? :)

Pammy
12th-November-2003, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
is that a rhetorical question ? :)

aren't mine always ? :wink:

Boomer
12th-November-2003, 01:05 PM
I'm currently toying with the idea of some 'Matrix crap sequels' style 'Bullet-time 360 degrees' shots...maybe slow down the sound as well for humour value :grin:

Bardsey
12th-November-2003, 03:02 PM
Originally posted by Boomer
I'm currently toying with the idea of some 'Matrix crap sequels' style 'Bullet-time 360 degrees' shots...maybe slow down the sound as well for humour value :grin:

If remember correctly, and despite public opinion my memory isn't THAT bad, Forte and I are the main attraction in this video, so shouldn't we at least get a say in this??? No? Why not? I say, why not? Oh right! Big Gorilla behind me, you say? Oh okay....no you carry on I think your ideas are brilliant!!!! :rolleyes: :D