Dance floor etiquette - are Beginners sufficiently briefed?

[Terpsichorea]

I ask because I was involved in a bit of weird situation last night. We'd had an influx of newbies at one of the venues I dance at, and after the beginners class I thought I'd ask a few of them to dance.

Anyway, I was dancing with this follower...she was clearly a bit unsure, a bit awkward, like all of us were at the beginning, but generally doing OK.

About halfway through the dance, her boyfriend (at least that's who I assume it was) appeared at her shoulder and started talking to her, before interposing himself between me and her and marching her off the floor.

It happened very quickly, and I was standing there, needless to say feeling rather taken aback - I've never experienced this kind of thing at a venue before. Presumably the bloke had some kind of issue about watching his girlfriend dancing with other men (although what else he'd expected her to do at an MJ venue I don't know...:confused:)

I didn't mention it to the venue organiser (yes I know I should have done), but I was wondering whether it should be emphasised more to Beginners about the importance of dancefloor etiquette (you can't refuse a dance, don't leave someone abandoned in the middle of floor etc etc...)

[Trousers]

How excellent!
Does that make you the third corner of an MJ Lust triangle?


He's never going to leave you two in a room together.

:eek:

[Terpsichorea]

How excellent!
Does that make you the third corner of an MJ Lust triangle?


He's never going to leave you two in a room together.

:eek:

I'd imagine he won't be returning to the venue again...but it was a bit weird. I haven't been in an are you looking at my bird scenario for years!

[killingtime]

Presumably the bloke had some kind of issue about watching his girlfriend dancing with other men

Maybe, or maybe her mum called to say that her dad is in hospital. I take it she didn't say anything?


(although what else he'd expected her to do at an MJ venue I don't know...:confused:)

I didn't really know what to expect the first time I went though. I found moves like the basket (the basket! ha!) closed my personal space more than I was expecting. Maybe he was expecting something completely different.


I didn't mention it to the venue organiser (yes I know I should have done), but I was wondering whether it should be emphasised more to Beginners about the importance of dancefloor etiquette (you can't refuse a dance, don't leave someone abandoned in the middle of floor etc etc...)

I'm not sure you should have mentioned it to the venue manager. I'm not sure what they could have really done about a first week beginner. If the boyfriend found watching his girlfriend dancing uncomfortable then I guess I'm sorry to hear that and a little surprised that he couldn't wait until the end of the dance but I'm not sure that a re-enforcement of etiquette would have helped in such a case.

[timbp]

I didn't really know what to expect the first time I went though. I found moves like the basket (the basket! ha!) closed my personal space more than I was expecting. Maybe he was expecting something completely different.

I recall one dance with a first timer. The beginner routine had been all open hold, pass each other moves. And I tried to lead a First Move. It didn't work, because she stepped away from me in an unexpected direction. I led the beginner routine again, then tried a First Move. Same problem, but this time with a question -- why do you keep trying to put your arm around me?

I kept to open hold moves after that, but stiill I've not seen her at class since.

Should every beginner class include a move that involves a closed dance position?

[David Bailey]

I didn't mention it to the venue organiser (yes I know I should have done), but I was wondering whether it should be emphasised more to Beginners about the importance of dancefloor etiquette (you can't refuse a dance, don't leave someone abandoned in the middle of floor etc etc...)
No, I think that's just a lone nutter - you don't need a speech about courtesy to tell you not to act that way, normal human politeness applies.

Unless it was an emergency of course - but even then, he should have apologised to you for dragging her away, and mentioned that it was an emergency.

Beginners need to be told a lot, but basic courtesy and not interrupting a dance should be obvious to anyone with 2 brain cells.

[killingtime]

I kept to open hold moves after that, but stiill I've not seen her at class since.

Should every beginner class include a move that involves a closed dance position?

Nah, no more than every class should include a double handed and a right to right handed move. It's something that followers can generally pick up (just by watching others dance really) and if not a couple of classes should secure that knowledge.


Unless it was an emergency of course - but even then, he should have apologised to you for dragging her away, and mentioned that it was an emergency.

Beginners need to be told a lot, but basic courtesy and not interrupting a dance should be obvious to anyone with 2 brain cells.

I agree, both for just mentioning that they are really sorry about cutting in on the dance and that since I've started dancing it's always seemed a fundamental courtesy to not interrupt a dance (unless you are being cheeky :innocent: ).

[Trouble]

i remember as a beginner that the getting used to being asked did feel weird. Especially as they were mainly less than attractive and under normal circumstances ie: a disco, you would not say yes to these people.

Asking somebody to dance outside of the dance world is like asking to get to know you better isn't it!

So, i think even though the organisers probably do say about asking people to dance, it takes a while to realise what its all about.

[Terpsichorea]

Maybe, or maybe her mum called to say that her dad is in hospital. I take it she didn't say anything?



I didn't really know what to expect the first time I went though. I found moves like the basket (the basket! ha!) closed my personal space more than I was expecting. Maybe he was expecting something completely different.



I'm not sure you should have mentioned it to the venue manager. I'm not sure what they could have really done about a first week beginner. If the boyfriend found watching his girlfriend dancing uncomfortable then I guess I'm sorry to hear that and a little surprised that he couldn't wait until the end of the dance but I'm not sure that a re-enforcement of etiquette would have helped in such a case.

Nope she said nowt, but it was clear from her other half's face that he was annoyed with me or had some kind of issue. To put it plainly, it was very clearly the face of a man who was annoyed that his girlfriend was dancing with someone else. It was that look that you see occasionally in clubs etc usually as a prelude to a couple of blokes shoving in the chest and enquiring what the other is looking at.

As for moves, I didn't immediately chuck in a Double Pretzel. I like dancing with beginners because I was one myself and I think that if you invest in making someone feel welcome, there's a good chance they'll come back and improve.

[Terpsichorea]

i remember as a beginner that the getting used to being asked did feel weird. Especially as they were mainly less than attractive and under normal circumstances ie: a disco, you would not say yes to these people.

Asking somebody to dance outside of the dance world is like asking to get to know you better isn't it!

So, i think even though the organisers probably do say about asking people to dance, it takes a while to realise what its all about.

:yeah: It does take a while to get used to the fact that people ask you to dance who, if they did it in a disco, would meet with a refusal, if you were basing it on physical attractiveness. I like the fact that a MJ venue is a place where you dance with people solely because of how they dance. There's no agenda when you ask someone to dance and I like that

[killingtime]

Nope she said nowt, but it was clear from her other half's face that he was annoyed with me or had some kind of issue. To put it plainly, it was very clearly the face of a man who was annoyed that his girlfriend was dancing with someone else. It was that look that you see occasionally in clubs etc usually as a prelude to a couple of blokes shoving in the chest and enquiring what the other is looking at.

In which case he's a poop-head and there's no point worrying about it since such men in MJ are few and far between. It's unlikely she'll be back unless she breaks up with him for being a jealous poop-head.


As for moves, I didn't immediately chuck in a Double Pretzel.

Double pretzels, though might be a problem for me aren't really a problem for proximity, though I don't do a blues hold with a beginner I do wonder, sometimes, if I'm getting too close by doing an Eskimo or such.

Meh.

[Double Trouble]

you can't refuse a dance

Clearly my dance floor etiquette is rubbish then. I can think of a number of good reasons to refuse a dance - being a smelly b@stard for one.:sick:

[Gav]

I recall one dance with a first timer. The beginner routine had been all open hold, pass each other moves. And I tried to lead a First Move. It didn't work, because she stepped away from me in an unexpected direction. I led the beginner routine again, then tried a First Move. Same problem, but this time with a question -- why do you keep trying to put your arm around me?

Perv! :rolleyes: :D

[straycat]

Clearly my dance floor etiquette is rubbish then. I can think of a number of good reasons to refuse a dance - being a smelly b@stard for one.:sick:

I've never been refused by a smelly b@stard, so they obviously don't all refuse people :whistle:

[Double Trouble]

I've never been refused by a smelly b@stard, so they obviously don't all refuse people :whistle:

:rofl::rofl:I'll give you that one.:worthy:

I'm off to have a bath.:tears:

[MartinHarper]

I was wondering whether it should be emphasised more to Beginners about the importance of dancefloor etiquette ... don't leave someone abandoned in the middle of floor etc etc...

I think the concept of dancing whole songs is made fairly clear to beginners without anything needing to be said. You go there, and everyone is dancing whole songs, and leaving each other abandoned in the middle of the floor between songs. Nothing needs to be said.

In the case in question, the guy was apparently uncomfortable seeing the two of you dance together, and the girl prioritised his comfort over yours. No harm, no foul. Certainly nothing an organiser needs to get involved with. Dancers are a tactile people, and that's not for everyone, and that's fine.

[Thetruth]

importance of dancefloor etiquette (you can't refuse a dance, don't leave someone abandoned in the middle of floor etc etc...)

It is okay for someone to refuse a dance...(and dont take it personal). Someone could refuse a dance because they just got off the dance floor and need a break. And if someone leaves you abandoned on the dance floor its better than a fight developing. She did the right thing in this instance, getting her boyfriend away from you. Obviously her boyfriend is unsure about how to handle another man touching and dancing with her. Not your problem (you seem to appreciate dancing and helping beginners) and best not to get involved. Hopefully the next time she sees you she may apologise or she may not come near you.......

[Twirly]

Have been thinking about this. It seems to be an isolated instance involving people new to the scene (and who are probably not going to stick around). I would therefore suggest that there is no need to do anything about it (particularly as the chance has been missed to let these individuals know the ettiquete).

If it was a regular occurence then it might be a problem. But I'd have thought that the usual "guys ask girls to dance, girls as guys to dance" and watching and learning from the people around is sufficient - it certainly works for 99.9% of new dancers (whether they stick around or not).

Changing the information given because of the unfortunate reaction of one new dancer when the current format works for the hundreds who probably try out Ceroc each week would be something of an over reaction IMO.

[firefly]

I think the concept of dancing whole songs is made fairly clear to beginners without anything needing to be said. You go there, and everyone is dancing whole songs, and leaving each other abandoned in the middle of the floor between songs. Nothing needs to be said.


You might think so but that isn't always the case :rolleyes:.

I once had a rather odd experience when I asked a first-nighter to dance during the first freestyle. He was very keen to practise the beginner's routine. Normally I would say thank you and part at the end of the song; on occasion I've been known to stay on the floor for a second or even third track if they don't seem to want to let go (I don't take it personally :whistle: ). However on this particular occasion my partner suddenly stopped in the middle of the third track, muttered thank you and walked off, leaving me stranded in the middle of the dance floor. I was rather non-plussed, to say the least :what:.

I didn't say anything as I put it down to his being unaware of what normally happens at a dance night. Unfortunately I don't think I've seen him again since. Before anyone asks, I hadn't offered any unsolicited advice he might have taken offence at, and was doing my best just to follow and be as encouraging as I could. As far as I can tell though he just seemed to have got bored :eek: :rolleyes:

[timbp]

You might think so but that isn't always the case :rolleyes:.

I once had a rather odd experience when I asked a first-nighter to dance during the first freestyle. He was very keen to practise the beginner's routine. Normally I would say thank you and part at the end of the song; on occasion I've been known to stay on the floor for a second or even third track if they don't seem to want to let go (I don't take it personally :whistle: ). However on this particular occasion my partner suddenly stopped in the middle of the third track, muttered thank you and walked off, leaving me stranded in the middle of the dance floor. I was rather non-plussed, to say the least :what:.

That sounds to me like he didn't know how to finsih. How did you ask him to continue to the second, and then third, song? It sounds like if he was holding tight you assumed he wanted another dance, but beginners hold tight for many reasons.

[killingtime]

It sounds like if he was holding tight you assumed he wanted another dance, but beginners hold tight for many reasons.

To devour your brains?

Oh I'm confusing beginners and zombies again, aren't I :rolleyes:?

[firefly]

That sounds to me like he didn't know how to finsih. How did you ask him to continue to the second, and then third, song? It sounds like if he was holding tight you assumed he wanted another dance, but beginners hold tight for many reasons.


Possibly you're right and he didn't know how to finish. I didn't actually ask him to continue for a second then third song; as I said earlier in the thread normally I would say thank you and part at the end of the track. IIRC that's what I tried to do at the end of the first track. However he kept dancing through the few seconds until the next track started so I assumed he either hadn't heard me, or had heard but still wanted to continue. Either way I didn't want to make an issue of it as he seemed keen to continue. When the same thing happened at the end of the second track I just went with it as I assumed we'd keep going until he wanted to stop - not realising we'd stop in the middle of the next song!

Out of curiosity what other reasons would a beginner have to hold tight to a stranger they had only just met? Genuine question, as apart from seeking reassurance I'm not sure I can think of many others. And TBH he wasn't actually holding that tight; it was more the fact he kept dancing that made me think he wanted to keep dancing :rolleyes:

[Gav]

However he kept dancing through the few seconds until the next track started so I assumed he either hadn't heard me, or had heard but still wanted to continue.

Hehe, as a beginner I do remember concentrating so hard on the moves that I didn't really hear the music. I kept in time with it, but didn't hear the tune. Is it possible that he was concentrating so much that he didn't notice the songs end? Eventually he may have just thought "this song's going to go on forever" and gave up?

[firefly]

Hehe, as a beginner I do remember concentrating so hard on the moves that I didn't really hear the music. I kept in time with it, but didn't hear the tune. Is it possible that he was concentrating so much that he didn't notice the songs end? Eventually he may have just thought "this song's going to go on forever" and gave up?

Very possibly :yeah:!

I don't bear the guy any animosity for leaving me stranded as I guessed it may have been something similar to what Gav suggested. He obviously felt the class wasn't for him as I haven't seen him again since.

[Rhythm King]

When I danced at Cambridge the teachers (Mick and Robin - both female) used to give a little speech at the end of the beginners' class about everyone being able to ask for a dance, not refusing, that it wasn't a pulling thing etc. I have also seen Simon Borland do something similar, including a bit about towels, deodorant and clean shirts. It should be part of every teacher's patter, IMHO.

I actually interrrupted two dances at Beach Boogie this year :eek: One was because one of the dancers was a First Aider whose assistance was required, and the other was because the lady in question was having a visible "wardrobe malfunction" and her partner hadn't said anything :whistle: In both cases the interruption was effected by gesticulating from the side of the dance floor, and catching the eye of the person, rather than dragging them off physically.