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Terpsichorea
17th-April-2007, 10:32 AM
Hi guys. I was wondering whether I could canvass opions/get advice on something which has started to happen to me when dancing. I've started to experience what I guess could be described as panic attacks when dancing. They're very specific: just before I start a dance, I panic and think that I will forget all the moves I know. It's been getting worse, to the point where I've been on the verge of telling my partner I'm sorry, but I can't do this, and leaving them on the dance floor. So now, before I go to a freestyle or class, i start feeling physically ill at the prospect of dancing.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Beowulf
17th-April-2007, 10:40 AM
I had similar to this a while back. I ended up sitting out most of the night and looking miserable and turning down every offered dance.

to get over it I simplified things. I used simpler moves I knew I could do, worked on those ones, and built on them. I tried to learn just one move a night if I could, but if I couldn't I didn't let it worry me.

Panic attacks is the body's flight of fight system kicking in. It's a burst of Adrenaline coursing though your veins when confronted by something that scares you. You need to firstly figure out what's scaring you and rationalise it. I'm sure if you're honest with yourself you'll be able to tell yourself that you DO KNOW how to dance. Don't listen to self doubts.. they lie.

Secondly, persevere. Once the initial flight or fight reaction has passed you will return to a normal state. Your body will relearn that certain occurences don't warrant the reaction and it'll pass. it's called flooding, and has been used to treat phobias (not that I'm suggesting you have anything as drastic as a phobia or course.)

I've been there, and I've got over it. I'm going back dancing tonight after weeks of enforced absence. I'm nervous too but I'll do my best.. .. even if that is serial yo-yo's and continual man spins all night :wink:

Terpsichorea
17th-April-2007, 10:46 AM
Cheers Beowulf, it's good to know I'm not the only one :nice: . I think I know the reasons why it's happening. First off, the more I learn, the more I want to show what I've learned, and this ends up in a 'paralysis by analysis' situation. I'm too busy thinking about dancing to actually do it. Also, I'm often praised as a good dancer by followers, and I think this has become a bit of an onerous burden - I feel as if I'm expected to be on top of my game every time I get onto the dancefloor, and this starts to be wearing after a while. I feel as if I have to constantly add new moves to my repertoire...

Caro
17th-April-2007, 10:48 AM
Has anyone else ever experienced this?

yes, although in a totally different context.... hard to give advice here, but I am guessing that you need first to understand what exactly is the reason for them (i.e. the obvious reason is you are afraid of forgetting moves, but why? did something happened / somebody told you something that made you think it could happen ? and what would you feel like if it did happen ?) ...

Then may be you should try and dance only with very familiar partners / friends until you build up your confidence again...

You could always try and write a few moves on a little card that you have on your pocket (max 4, pick a beginners routine you like for example), not that you will use the card while dancing but writing the moves down and knowing you have the card in your pocket might help you to 1. remember moves 2. feel you have a 'safety net' you can always go back to...

Anyway, panick attacks are very distressful, so good luck and I hope you find out how to get over them soon :flower:

Double Trouble
17th-April-2007, 10:51 AM
I feel as if I have to constantly add new moves to my repertoire...

In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a lead trying to cram 20 moves in to a 3 minute track. That's not what it is all about. My advice would be to do a styling or musicality workshop and start thinking about dancing in a different way.

It's quality of moves, not quantity.:flower:

Beowulf
17th-April-2007, 11:03 AM
this ends up in a 'paralysis by analysis' situation.

A wise man once said
"Try not, Do or do not... there is no try"

Don't think about it.. just do it.

As a wise street sign once said
"Let your mind go and your body will follow"

:wink:

(this post was sponsored in part by the Beo-movie quotes service)

Terpsichorea
17th-April-2007, 11:05 AM
In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a lead trying to cram 20 moves in to a 3 minute track. That's not what it is all about. My advice would be to do a styling or musicality workshop and start thinking about dancing in a different way.

It's quality of moves, not quantity.:flower:

It tends to be worse when I dance with experienced followers - you feel anxious about not being able to rise to the occasion, I guess

Terpsichorea
17th-April-2007, 11:08 AM
yes, although in a totally different context.... hard to give advice here, but I am guessing that you need first to understand what exactly is the reason for them (i.e. the obvious reason is you are afraid of forgetting moves, but why? did something happened / somebody told you something that made you think it could happen ? and what would you feel like if it did happen ?) ...

Then may be you should try and dance only with very familiar partners / friends until you build up your confidence again...

You could always try and write a few moves on a little card that you have on your pocket (max 4, pick a beginners routine you like for example), not that you will use the card while dancing but writing the moves down and knowing you have the card in your pocket might help you to 1. remember moves 2. feel you have a 'safety net' you can always go back to...

Anyway, panick attacks are very distressful, so good luck and I hope you find out how to get over them soon :flower:

Cheers, thanks for that - I think having a prestablished routine might help. Dancing with my missis helps - because I know she isn't bothered by anything I do (mistakes etc)

spindr
17th-April-2007, 01:38 PM
Sounds like "performance anxiety"? Keep it simple and have a joke or two in reserve for the occasional mistake (http://www.afterfive.co.uk/guide/latest/html/dancing_with_confidence.html#performance_and_frees tyle_anxiety).

SpinDr

Terpsichorea
17th-April-2007, 02:34 PM
Sounds like "performance anxiety"? Keep it simple and have a joke or two in reserve for the occasional mistake (http://www.afterfive.co.uk/guide/latest/html/dancing_with_confidence.html#performance_and_frees tyle_anxiety).

SpinDr

I think simple moves are the way to go...provided I dance them well, no-one can complain, surely?

StokeBloke
17th-April-2007, 03:24 PM
I think a lot of the time the expectations we place upon ourselves are a lot greater than the expectations others have of us. It's very easy to feel intimidated when you look out on the dance floor and see lots of leads pulling lovely well linked smooth moves... I know I sometimes get the feeling that no one here will enjoy following me after they have been treated to such delights that are being served up out there on the dance floor. But that's just not true.

I would consider this a blip in your journey Terpsichorea. It is something you will get through, but only if you push yourself through it. Sitting out won't help, neither will worrying yourself silly about it. I used to constantly slip into first move when I got unsettled and I worried that this would make my dancing dull. So I paid extra attention in classes to first move variations - there are billions of them. It was then easy to just slip a different ending onto it and that was enough to smooth out that little worry. One of the best being First Move into Teapot. It's easy to do and feels like a nice move too... you can also then walk round a little longer before coming out of it to recompose yourself. Just like Octopus into Sway... again you can extend the sway a little to recompose yourself, or use it to make a light hearted comment to your follow.

My advice would be to work on a couple of simple variations on easy to remember, familiar, basic moves - like First Move or Octopus. This will not leave you feeling like a beginner, but also they are not complex to remember. Bear in mind that most of the leads that you see out on the floor looking great have similar stuff going on in their heads. The trick seems to be confidence. Chest out, smile and enjoy it :flower:

Double Trouble
17th-April-2007, 03:28 PM
Chest out, smile and enjoy it :flower:

I wonder if that would work for me. Would I get more dances, or fewer?


Dont answer that
:confused:

TurboTomato
17th-April-2007, 03:46 PM
*bites tongue* :whistle: :rofl:

Mezzosoprano
17th-April-2007, 06:28 PM
A wise man once said
"Try not, Do or do not... there is no try"


Yes, Master Yoda!

johnthehappyguy
1st-May-2007, 11:01 PM
hi,
my advice - for what it's worth :-


make sure you have got fresh looking clean clothing, decent haircut,cleanshaven and use good deoderant.

In most venues the women far outnumber the men, so they would rather dance with someone who only attempts a few moves who has no b.o., than not dance at all.

choose a potential partner who looks like she wants to dance -one not in conversation with anyone else,and preferably moving about,tapping her feet,druming her fingers,miming the song etc. these people are usually the keenest

there is no need to learn jokes or witty conversation, you don't need a slick "may I have the pleasure of this dance " sort of line.

Almost any gesture or movement near a waiting lady will be taken as a request to dance. If you get nervous then you can utter the one word "dance ?"

don't worry, yes i know its hard. don't worry about the moves, many excellent dancers will tell you they are overrated.

concentrate on not yanking your partner.



Even if your dance is not very exciting most women will be genuinely pleased to have a dance with you again. - especially if you don't yank.



have a dance with the teacher ,( or demo) they may appear godlike, but are in the job to help you, explain your problem and ask for feedback after the dance. I have tried that sort of thing a lot and have always gotten useful advice.

thank your partner for the dance.

dont yank.

tell the forum where you are going to be,and ask if anyone going there will have a dance with you, as you are nervous.

( loads of folk have done this sort of thing in the past very successfully)

you will get plenty of dances, and the moves will come eventually


best of luck,
John:nice:

Raul
2nd-May-2007, 12:25 AM
In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a lead trying to cram 20 moves in to a 3 minute track. That's not what it is all about. My advice would be to do a styling or musicality workshop and start thinking about dancing in a different way.

It's quality of moves, not quantity.:flower:


I could not agree with DT more!

I am learning a different dance (Tango) and at the start I was not too bad (for a beginner), then I have been concentrating on technique and my dancing has got awful, just terrible. Panic Panic, then ...............

Remember -
Dance is a celebration. It is the soul expressing itself to the rhythm of life. My advice to you is Feel the music, connect with your partner with a smile, and celebrate the dance. You will find that the moves that you have practiced so many times mechanically will just get done as if by magic.

As DT suggests, you have to feel the music stirring you and you need to have the urge to dance. Panic ??? What Panic ??? you are enjoying yourself and cannot wait to get on the floor. Moves ?? whatever feels good to the music. And if the girl feels the music as well, you could just spend 3 minutes doing 2 moves and feel that you have had the greatest dance ever.