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Sheepman
9th-July-2003, 01:13 PM
The discussion on people who use dance venues as pick up joints reminded me of a quote from a single friend from long ago:-

"I can't imagine having a partner who is on the dance scene, but then I can't imagine having a partner who isn't a dancer."

This is from someone very attractive, intelligent, a stunning dancer, and she is still single! I also know of so many relationships that have been made, and far too many that have been broken on the dance scene.

So I have a couple of questions:-
1. Are 99% of eligible men on the dance scene social misfits! ? :devil:

2. Can relationships between fanatical dancers and non dancers work.

I probably spend about 80% of my social life dancing, and contact with non-dancing friends seems to constantly diminish. However I'm lucky enough that my nearest and dearest is also a dancer, if not as fanatical as me. How can a relationship survive separate social lives? Maybe there are a few "golfing or fishing wives" (oops sexism!) prepared to tell their stories?

Greg

Fran
9th-July-2003, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman

So I have a couple of questions:-
1. Are 99% of eligible men on the dance scene social misfits! ? :devil:

2. Can relationships between fanatical dancers and non dancers work.
Greg


quick response Greg

No,I would have to say that 99% of eleigable men on the dance sense are not social misfits. ( better had say that really:wink: )

mind you what do you define as eligible - some one who is not living with or married to a person or some one who is simply not in a relationship.?

I do know of some very solid relationships between dancers and non dancers - there must be a lot of trust and understanding for it to work well I guess.

fran

CJ
9th-July-2003, 01:37 PM
I am slightly different because a) I am not, primarily, a dancer and b) am involved in dancing through work, as opposed to a social decision.

However, my work in many forms means that I am out of the house most nights and my wife works days. A slow, not always fun learning process has taught us that even the strongest partnerships need some support in the form of face to face interaction!!:really: So, dancing will have to fall by the wayside, for now.

It's a horses for courses thing: some relationships thrive on space; others on living in each others pockets. I don't think we can properly analyse, only bring our anecdotes to the table.

Dancing, lets face it, is dancing. Some people see it as a superficial, albeit hot, 3 minute experience. Some see it as the vertical expression of a horizontal intention. As fRan says, there has to be trust in any relationship, but possibly more so when one dances and the other doesn't. Again, it's all dependent on which viewpoint the 2 people involved use to understand dance.

I have seen many sleazy bas, sorry... cads of both sexes, operate and I've seen some solid, loving relationships formed at Ceroc. Of the relationships, most that go beyond boyfriend/girlfriend stage have both partners drop out of the dance scene as homebuilding, etc takes over...

When this happens, it seems people still enjoy to dance: maybe even as passionately as before but life itself has taken over, as does sometimes happen in the grown up world.

Are 99% of eligible men on the dance scene social misfits?

That I don't know, but I have always maintained that Dance circles, of whichever company, tend to have higher than average cases of ASD per head.:D :D

Bill
9th-July-2003, 02:01 PM
At Aberdeen several relationships have formed, developed and in several cases then fallen apart ( but usually I'm too busy dancing to notice really !!! :sorry ). There are even a few men and women who seem to have had a few relationships in one class although reputations do soon develop.

The problem as happens elsewhere is when the pair have a problem being together in the same venue after the split. However, several couples have continued to get on pretty well afterwards. And there are a few that have survived and one couple who met and married and still dance pretty regularly.

I also know several very good, very intelligent and very attractive women who are single - some of whom woudl like to meet someone and a few who are happy with the life they have.

Coming along alone must be a problem for some and put a potential strain on a relationship so trust is required and it must be difficult for a man or woman whose partner doesn't dance when going to a party/wedding etc and not being able to dance. :sick:


Given that the majority of dancers are there for fun then none of this is really a problem but I do know some partners who are very anti Ceroc because, I assume, they see it as a threat or potentially leading their partner astray. And as for losing touch with non dancing friends - yep, been there done that and have tried to keep in touch with some but not always successfully.

Long, boring and not terribly articulate response I'm afraid.

Sheepman
9th-July-2003, 03:12 PM
by CJ
tend to have higher than average cases of ASD per head.
Am I being particularly thick? I can't figure out "ASD"


by Fran
some one who is not living with or married to a person or some one who is simply not in a relationship.?

On first reading, I took this to mean that if you're "simply in a relationship", then you can't be married or living together ! :) By eligible, I mean those that are not in a relationship, although as we have seen elsewhere, some consider themselves eligible even when they are in a relationship.

I agree that trust is fundamental, one of the most important things in a relationship. I know a few people that have trouble with this, and tend to see their partner as the only one who can be "the" dance partner for them. Getting worried or jealous if their other half wants to spend too much time dancing with any other individual. I think in general this is due to being "burnt" in the past, and inevitably needing more care to engender that trust.

At the moment I can only think of one example of a long term couple I know where one half is a complete non dancer. I hope the rumours I've heard of problems in their marriage are untrue, but ironically this has been after a year where the dancing half hasn't been dancing at all due to injury. Maybe they've just been seeing too much of each other!

I've also seen too many couples disappear from the dance scene once they get together, the homebuilding thing. Hopefully they'll be back one day, I know it can happen, after recently meeting someone who had a gap of 10 years.

I suppose one thing that prompted my first question, was being told recently (I better not say who by, but she isn't looking for a partner!) That she couldn't think of a single eligible man (in the sense of single and attractive) on the scene in our area, but there are loads of women.

And Bill - not a boring response at all!

Greg

Lindsay
9th-July-2003, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
Am I being particularly thick? I can't figure out "ASD"


Me too...
abnormally sexy dudes?
anally submissive dancers?

Bill
9th-July-2003, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by Lindsay
Me too...
abnormally sexy dudes?
anally submissive dancers?


trying to figure who might fall into either of these two categories :what: :D :na:

Gadget
9th-July-2003, 11:42 PM
as CJ said in a deep and meaningful thought; I don't think we can properly analyse, only bring our anecdotes to the table.

My partner {who am I kidding - "wife" now.} dosn't dance. She has danced with me only about four times - at a friend's wedding, another's birthday, a new-year party and at our wedding. She does like dancing {ceroc} and always comments on enjoying it; however she has never been to a class and dosn't want to.
She maintains that if it was set dancing (like ceilidh, line dancing, highland...) she would be comfortable with it - she has medals from school for various forms of dance. But this "making it up as you go allong" is a bit beyond her imagination.
That and someone has to look after the kids {:devil:}

I also think (my opinion, not hers) that she would be fairly jealous of me dancing with everyone, especially on some of the more slinky numbers.

I'm not convinced that I would like her to start Ceroc either - purley for selfish reasons:sorry: I like dancing with as many ladies as I can and wold feel obligated to dance with her more, and so not be able to dance with anyone else!

To answer sheepman, I think that in order to actually go to Ceroc as a single man takes a certain mentality that may brand them/you/me/us as seperate from the rest of the social cast.
Can relationships work between dancers and non dancers - yes, but only if you have a life that you can share outside of dancing. IMHO Relationships with a fanatic anything requires a bit more effort.
{FYI we have been togeter for over eight years, have two kids together and just got married last month. I have been dancing ceroc for about 4 years on & off.}

CJ
10th-July-2003, 01:08 AM
Association of Dyslexia Sufferers.

:sorry :sorry :sorry

CJ
10th-July-2003, 01:42 AM
Yeah, I know.

I'll get my knuckles wrapped for that one.

Anyway: Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

I'm sure DS will put up a link to somewhere explaining it all...

Dreadful Scathe
10th-July-2003, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
Yeah, I know.

I'll get my knuckles wrapped for that one.

Anyway: Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

I'm sure DS will put up a link to somewhere explaining it all...

If you insist :)

> Go here (http://www.nas.org.uk/peoplew/)

CJ
10th-July-2003, 11:57 AM
Schucks. Swoon...

Lou
10th-July-2003, 02:25 PM
Going back to Greg's original questions...
1. Are 99% of eligible men on the dance scene social misfits! ? :devil: What eligible men? ;)

2. Can relationships between fanatical dancers and non dancers work. Yup. Am married to a complete non-dancer. I'll dance 2-3 times a week, he'll be rehearsing with his band or playing cricket/football/hockey. He's met my dancing pals & realises that most of them are female, married, gay or far too old to worry about.

Actually, seriously - you do need complete trust - but, then, where would a good relationship be without it?

Chicklet
10th-July-2003, 02:33 PM
ever so slightly different tack ....

can having one a dancer and one not strengthen a marriage / partnership if the dancer is getting rid of all their flirty vibes in a "safe" environment where nothing's going to come of it rather than either bottling them up or playing with fire / people at work for example ?

Not put that very well - can it be a good thing to have a harmless outlet for pretend / gentle / playing extra curricular activity that gets it out of the system rather than out of hand????

temporary unofficial DA :D

Grant
10th-July-2003, 03:00 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
ever so slightly different tack ....

can having one a dancer and one not strengthen a marriage / partnership if the dancer is getting rid of all their flirty vibes in a "safe" environment where nothing's going to come of it
perhaps, but if your nondancing partner sees your flirty dancing they may not think it looks so 'safe' :wink:
guess, as has already been said, that comes down to trust

Grant

Dance Demon
10th-July-2003, 03:02 PM
I know a few ladies that dance in Edinburgh, whose partners or husbands don't dance, and have no interest in doing so. However it does not seem to stop the ladies from dancing 2 or 3 times a week.
Mrs Demon and me will have been married 25 years this year, and were with each other for 3 years before that. The last 5 of these years, we have been dancing,and to be honest in all the years before that, we had fairly seperate social lives, but now we go dancing together all the time. On a normal dance night we will have the first dance together, then go off on our seperate ways, dancing with whoever and occasionaly finding each other for our favourite tracks. On nights where I attend on my own, I kind of miss having her there when one of these tracks come on.
I can understand tht some guys might get carried away when they first start dancing, by all the lovely unattached ladies that they can dance with, and I know that there are certain ladies that I can flirt with in fun, but it's best not to get too carried away.
i also know couples who have parted since starting to dance, but reckon their relationship must have been rocky before for that to happen.

Bill
10th-July-2003, 03:52 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
ever so slightly different tack ....

can having one a dancer and one not strengthen a marriage / partnership if the dancer is getting rid of all their flirty vibes in a "safe" environment where nothing's going to come of it rather than either bottling them up or playing with fire / people at work for example ?

:D

You mean all that flirting is in vain ??????:sick: :tears:

and is it always safe :innocent: :wink: :D

Chicklet
10th-July-2003, 04:10 PM
Originally posted by Bill
and is it always safe :innocent: :wink: :D

exactly one of the discussion points and does it matter if it isn't?

further adventures of TUDA

Bill
10th-July-2003, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
exactly one of the discussion points and does it matter if it isn't?



ooooooh............well that depends doesn't it :rolleyes: :wink:

Who or what is safe ???????? But better eb careful or we might frighten off newcomers......or give partners reasons to feel jealous :sorry .







it is all fun .......... honest...... and a little harmless ( :what: ) flirting..

Fran
10th-July-2003, 04:59 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
exactly one of the discussion points and does it matter if it isn't?

further adventures of TUDA

you can have alot of fun flirting on the dance floor :nice:

but joking aside - yes, sometimes it does matter.

It may not be a view shared by all, however I have spoken to many people over the four years I have been dancing who have, or have had partners - both males and females and who have expressed how hurt they have been somtimes when they feel that someone dancing with their "partner" is slightly OTT in their reactions/responses. No doubt their own partners reactions come into it as well?

there is a difference between good natured flirting and really overstepping the mark. Its different if the attention is welcomed 100% - there well may be other issues going on a relationship when that kind of attention is needed/reciprocated from someone else other than your partner.


did'nt mean to sound heavy. Dancing is meant to be fun. :nice:

fran:nice:

Fran
10th-July-2003, 05:05 PM
No hes not spooky ... well.......:wink:

we posted within a minute of each other on the same point - execpt I went on a bit. that was the spooky bit :nice:


i perfer the great minds think alike rather than the fools seldom differ one! although I did put a film in to get printed yesterday only to discover it was a new one - tad embaressing at the the shop!
They actually laughed at me
:tears:

franx

horsey_dude
10th-July-2003, 09:30 PM
REALLY?!? where is your area?

One thing I didn't see mentioned was dancing ability.... I went out with someone who was a fantastic dancer and it was great to be be able really emjoy a dance with someone who could follow anything. When I was going out with someone who basically had two left feet it was not so good....



Originally posted by Sheepman


I suppose one thing that prompted my first question, was being told recently (I better not say who by, but she isn't looking for a partner!) That she couldn't think of a single eligible man (in the sense of single and attractive) on the scene in our area, but there are loads of women.


Greg

Lindsay
11th-July-2003, 11:20 AM
Originally posted by horsey_dude
When I was going out with someone who basically had two left feet it was not so good....

But don't you have 2 left and 2 right, Mr Horse???

Sheepman
11th-July-2003, 12:17 PM
Originally posted by horsey_dude
REALLY?!? where is your area?


West London/Surrey/South Coast/Berkshire (and of course IoW)
does that narrow it down enough?

Greg

Sheepman
11th-July-2003, 12:52 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
can having one a dancer and one not strengthen a marriage / partnership if the dancer is getting rid of all their flirty vibes in a "safe" environment

This has to be horses for courses again, where for some people even the opportunity to flirt is dangerous, and for others it is just a safe bit of fun. There is a movement in the USA (probably a VERY small movement) that campaigns about "emotional infidelity" saying that even the slightest opportunity is just tempting disaster, e.g. you shouldn't go out to lunch alone with a work colleague of the opposite sex, or you shouldn't even converse with someone of the opposite sex unless it is do to with work or family. Maybe they have a lower rate of marriage break ups, but what tedious lives they must lead! On this basis I am a polygamist on an atrocious scale!

On reading DDs comment
On a normal dance night we will have the first dance together, then go off on our seperate ways, dancing with whoever and occasionaly finding each other I realise I may have started this topic on a false premise, 'cos on the best nights (but don't tell her!), this is exactly what Wendy and I do, and then we may not even see each other again till the end, so perhaps we do have separate social lives after all!

With one dancing couple I know that recently broke up, she was totally comfortable with him doing his flirty bits with anyone except for one particular woman, and sure enough this woman was the cause of the break up. Are women more intuitive about this sort of thing? I'm told that there have been a few women (very few!) taking too much interest in me occasionally, but I have to be told - 'cos I would never notice myself! Though this doesn't seem to be a matter of flirting, there is obviously something else that as a mere male I can't pick up on.

This all seems to be getting far too heavy, so I'll now invite comments on me getting an avatar at last!
Greg

Fran
11th-July-2003, 01:01 PM
[i] Are women more intuitive about this sort of thing?

but I have to be told - 'cos I would never notice myself! Though this doesn't seem to be a matter of flirting, there is obviously something else that as a mere male I can't pick up on.
Greg [/B]

yes to the above.


This all seems to be getting far too heavy, so I'll now invite comments on me getting an avatar at last!
Greg


I think your wee sheep is very cute:nice:

fran

Gadget
11th-July-2003, 01:14 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
This all seems to be getting far too heavy, so I'll now invite comments on me getting an avatar at last!
baaaa

:D

Sheepman
11th-July-2003, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by Fran
I think your wee sheep is very cute:nice:

Thanks, and I love your whip, (but I suppose all the guys say that?)
Greg

Dreadful Scathe
11th-July-2003, 02:22 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
There is a movement in the USA (probably a VERY small movement) that campaigns about "emotional infidelity" saying that even the slightest opportunity is just tempting disaster, e.g. you shouldn't go out to lunch alone with a work colleague of the opposite sex, or you shouldn't even converse with someone of the opposite sex unless it is do to with work or family.

Frankly, I wouldnt be interested in a partner who thought THAT was a good idea. You certainly couldnt do any partner dancing if you followed that philosophy! What about Hermaphrodites ? can you talk to them in this club ? :)

Wouldnt it be funny if some of those people not being able to spend any time with strangers of the opposite sex realised they were actually gay and left their partner for a same sex stranger. Ironic and apt probably. :)

If you choose to be in a relationship you have to accept your partner as they are - if there was a situation where BOTH partners found the above movement a good idea then
1) they dont need it at all
2) they do need it as they cant trust themselves so they'll find a way to meet strangers anyway.
3) they are socially inept and won't miss the interaction
4) they're not real people, they exist in a soap opera :)

Grant
11th-July-2003, 02:59 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
On this basis I am a polygamist on an atrocious scale!
you are being way too hard on yourself - think of yourself as a serial monogamist :wink:

Grant

Chicklet
11th-July-2003, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by Grant
you are being way too hard on yourself - think of yourself as a serial monogamist :wink: Grant

hmm not convinced, even electronics for girls (battery theory) teaches that serial = "lays them end to end". Don't think this is quite what sheepy is saying however.

Jayne
11th-July-2003, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
Are women more intuitive about this sort of thing?
Some are.

Some are blind and/or stupid.

Some are paranoid.

J :nice:

Chicklet
11th-July-2003, 03:07 PM
** waits 30 seconds**

yes I know it's "series" but the rest of it was just too good to not do it:D

Aleks
11th-July-2003, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Fran
I put a film in to get printed yesterday only to discover it was a new one

Don't worry - I've done that too
:grin: :grin:

Sheepman
16th-July-2003, 04:35 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
What about Hermaphrodites ? can you talk to them in this club ? :)
Are there any hermaphrodites out on the dance scene? I have a few suspicions, but maybe I should keep them under my fleece! :wink:

Greg

Pammy
21st-July-2003, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
Are women more intuitive about this sort of thing? I'm told that there have been a few women (very few!) taking too much interest in me occasionally, but I have to be told - 'cos I would never notice myself!

Hmmm, I definitely think a woman can pick up on vibes like that. It's like a sixth sense. Some women can be jealous and overly protective of their men, but ultimately, women do tend to be able to tell when another girl is out to steal their man!!!

As far as your admirers go, please point them out. I'll give you my opinion of whether or not they're after you for more than just a dance!!! ;)

P

stewart38
21st-July-2003, 03:03 PM
Interesting thread this,that I started in London

I guess its all about trust

I've dated ce roc dancers and even married one but it was wrong from the start (she couldn't follow my moves :sad: )

Due to marry the 'next one', who doesn't dance at all

Feels very different dancing without a partner.

Should I give up ce roc ?

At some venues you may have 200 or 300 'females' who are dancing. Can't pretend all you think about is dancing

:sorry

Pammy
21st-July-2003, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
Due to marry the 'next one', who doesn't dance at all

Should I give up ce roc ?

At some venues you may have 200 or 300 'females' who are dancing. Can't pretend all you think about is dancing

Definitely don't give up on Ceroc.

Also, best not let the "next one" hear you referring to her as "the next one" ;)

I don't think we all think about dancing ALL of the time, just MOST of the time :D

stewart38
21st-July-2003, 03:12 PM
'Next one', not the most romantic phrase.

My 'future solemate' sounds better

Perhaps I'm being to hard on myself she can swim I can dance.

:cheers:

Pammy
21st-July-2003, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by stewart38
My 'future solemate' sounds better

Future or Current??!! :wink:

Who is your Current soulmate if not your Future wife??? :what:

He He

Sheepman
22nd-July-2003, 04:35 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
As far as your admirers go, please point them out. I'll give you my opinion of whether or not they're after you for more than just a dance!!!
Sorry to spoil your sleuthing! Those that I've been warned about aren't regulars where we dance.

And Happy Birthday Pam :kiss: (Hope that's not too forward!)


Orignally posted by Stewart38
Interesting thread this,that I started in London
Maybe I'm being a little pedantic, but this thread was started entirely indepedently of your one in London, I've only just discovered that one, though I know duplication is inevitable even on the same forum, so far I'm not impressed by the Search facilities, but perhaps that's down to my technique?


Originally posted by Stewart 38
At some venues you may have 200 or 300 'females' who are dancing. Can't pretend all you think about is dancing
I admit that it may fleetingly go through my head "She's gorgeous", but then the thought "Can she dance?" takes over. Is this another test that should be added to the "Dance addicts" thread?

And Stewart, maybe your new partnership would have been perfect for the underwater gig that the Deep Sea Jivers once did! (Foolishly I didn't go to it, as I assumed they would do more than one.) Your dancing, her swimming? :)

Greg

Pammy
22nd-July-2003, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by Sheepman
I admit that it may fleetingly go through my head "She's gorgeous", but then the thought "Can she dance?" takes over.


Hmmm, well I have noticed something odd in the "dance world". There are people in the dance world that I would never normally look twice at in the street who I think "Yeah, he's nice" in a dance venue, and there are people in a dance venue who I would normally think are well worth a second glance in the street, that I think "no thanks" about.

Does that make sense. Maybe all us girls are so confused we don't know what to think about ;)

Pammy

PS Will you be there later Greg?

Emma
22nd-July-2003, 06:39 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Does that make sense. Yes. :grin: :wink:

Andy McGregor
22nd-July-2003, 09:30 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Hmmm, well I have noticed something odd in the "dance world". There are people in the dance world that I would never normally look twice at in the street who I think "Yeah, he's nice" in a dance venue, and there are people in a dance venue who I would normally think are well worth a second glance in the street, that I think "no thanks" about.


There is a downside to this, and that is stalkers :what:

Ordinary (on a good day) guys like me, aged mid 40s, balding, putting on weight, completely clueless about women's needs and happily married get some women chasing them relentlessly. Over the years I've had a few stalkers but my worst one would ask me to dance, then ask for another and another and maybe even another then sit down and watch me until a few tracks later she asked me again. This process would be repeated a few times until I said something diplomatic like 'there are still quite a few women here that I haven't danced with yet, I'll come and get you for a dance when I've danced with them' at which point she would go home.

I would like to say she was so attractive she could have taken her pick of men but still chose to stalk me. But she couldn't - which is probably why I wasn't rude to her. Eventually she disappeared, probably due to a change in the rules on 'Care in the Community':devil:

There was one plus point, the teacher was very grateful that I'd 'stolen his stalker' - as his 'phone number was on his literature she was regularly calling him at home to 'discuss workshops' :wink:

Speaking to other guys on the circuit they describe similar experiences - although not usually so extreme. Even someone like Nigel Anderson :rofl: claims that occasionally women throw themselves at him - clear supporting evidence of the phenomenon described above :devil:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 12:45 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
Does that make sense.
Nope - completely baffled I'm afraid. :confused: :confused: :confused:

Originally posted by Pammy
Maybe all us girls Okay, NOW I get it :wink:

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by Andy McGregor
There is a downside to this, and that is stalkers

He He.

So you're a stalker sufferer.

Hmm, it's a tough one. There are people that I love dancing with, who I could dance with all night, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I fancy them, but in the case you describe, it does sound like she wanted to be more than friends!!!

I think that's sweet; a little annoying for you yes as you probably spotted her and constantly did the "oh no!" inward breath. Still, you should be flattered. Better to be married and wanted by others I guess, than not wanted at all!!

Mr Popular! :wink:

P

Jayne
23rd-July-2003, 09:41 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
Hmmm, well I have noticed something odd in the "dance world". There are people in the dance world that I would never normally look twice at in the street who I think "Yeah, he's nice" in a dance venue, and there are people in a dance venue who I would normally think are well worth a second glance in the street, that I think "no thanks" about.

Does that make sense.
Absolutely. Is this where we cross over to the ballroom to bedroom poll? :wink:

J :nice:

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 10:10 AM
Originally posted by Jayne
Absolutely. Is this where we cross over to the ballroom to bedroom poll?

Hmmm, sounds like a good idea; would make interesting reading wouldn't it!!!???

:wink:

What do you think it is that makes us feel like this?

Is it the old "big ego" put off thing???

Hmm, not sure myself...

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 10:41 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
Hmmm, sounds like a good idea; would make interesting reading wouldn't it!!!???

:wink:

What do you think it is that makes us feel like this?

Is it the old "big ego" put off thing???

Hmm, not sure myself... I think it's because you're seeing more of the person's body language than you normally would. So someone might be a bit plain, so no second glance in the street, but on the dancefloor they seem expressive and sexy, so second, third, twenty-seventh look! Conversely, someone looks good on the street but on the dancefloor looks like a muppet, or a sleaze, so you move swiftly on.

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 10:43 AM
Originally posted by Graham
I think it's because you're seeing more of the person's body language than you normally would. So someone might be a bit plain, so no second glance in the street, but on the dancefloor they seem expressive and sexy, so second, third, twenty-seventh look! Conversely, someone looks good on the street but on the dancefloor looks like a muppet, or a sleaze, so you move swiftly on.

Excellent point of view.

However, there are also some men who are good looking (very infact) and excellent dancers, but I still don't fancy them; that is definitely the ego thing!:wink:

You're right about it being less two dimentional though, and hey, that's a good thing right? :nice:

P

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 10:52 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
However, there are also some men who are good looking (very infact) and excellent dancers, but I still don't fancy them; that is definitely the ego thing!:wink: I want to make sure I've understood the ego thing: what I think you mean is that a guy is good-looking and dances well but HIS big ego puts you off? That's just the same thing I was talking about in a different way - his body language in that case is just saying he's a show-off, rather than a muppet or a sleaze. If I'm right, I know exactly where you're coming from - I've seen several that I'd have put in this category if I was a girl!

Originally posted by Pammy
You're right about it being less two dimentional though, and hey, that's a good thing right? :nice:
Absolutely!

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 10:57 AM
Originally posted by Graham
- I've seen several that I'd have put in this category if I was a girl!


An example of which would be......??

:confused:

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 11:08 AM
Originally posted by Graham
I want to make sure I've understood the ego thing: what I think you mean is that a guy is good-looking and dances well but HIS big ego puts you off?

I mean the guy who is good looking, a great dancer, but he's not dancing with you, he's dancing with himself! You feel embarassed and grateful dancing with him, because the body language he gives off makes you feel you should be grateful for the mere fact you've actually managed to get him to dance with you at all; then you fluff it up as you're too busy thinking of that fact!

You know the type I mean?

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 12:19 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
I mean the guy who is good looking, a great dancer, but he's not dancing with you, he's dancing with himself! You feel embarassed and grateful dancing with him, because the body language he gives off makes you feel you should be grateful for the mere fact you've actually managed to get him to dance with you at all; then you fluff it up as you're too busy thinking of that fact!

You know the type I mean? I do - we were both thinking of the same thing after all.


Originally a very poor attempt to get me to put my foot in it by Ceroc Jock
An example of which would be......?? I might whisper softly in your shell-like, but I'm not going public. Don't worry - you're not one!

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 12:22 PM
... When you can dive right in?!?!?!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 12:22 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I might whisper softly in your shell-like, but I'm not going public.

Well there's an offer for him, and all he wanted was names!!! :eek:

Grant
23rd-July-2003, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Well there's an offer for him, and all he wanted was names!!! :eek:
i'm sure graham would quite be willing to call him any name while whispering in his shell-like :D
but let's leave the details up to the happy couple :wink:
Grant

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 12:40 PM
Originally posted by Grant
but let's leave the details up to the happy couple :wink: [/B]

It's started as a whisper and now they're an item...
Ahhh, how lovely :wink:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 12:47 PM
I wouldn't say we're an item quite yet. I'll whisper in anyone's ear if they ask nicely.

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 12:51 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I wouldn't say we're an item quite yet. I'll whisper in anyone's ear if they ask nicely.

**looks at post title and wonders**

maybe not an item as such but it certainly looks like he's feeding you (lines) from behind (the scenes, of course).

or you've caught something nasty off him which is affecting your entendre gland???:devil: :D

Dave Hancock
23rd-July-2003, 01:07 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I'll whisper in anyone's ear if they ask nicely.....

Graham,
Please will you blow in Brady's ear for a birthday treat for him?

Roll on half 7:wink:

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 01:20 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
**looks at post title and wonders**

maybe not an item as such but it certainly looks like he's feeding you (lines) from behind (the scenes, of course).

or you've caught something nasty off him which is affecting your entendre gland???:devil: :D

Chicklet, I'm fairly certain that I can say, with a modicum of confidence, that I've never had ANY effect on Graham's glands.

In fact, judging by the content of your T-shirts, I can only guess you affect WAY more glans than I do.:devil:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 01:24 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
or you've caught something nasty off him which is affecting your entendre gland???:devil: :D My entendre glands are both working perfectly thanks. And might I just point out that said gentleman has been a lot more intimate with you than with me. (That's not a complaint, by the way!! :really: )

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-July-2003, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by Andy McGregor
There is a downside to this, and that is stalkers :what:



Lets face it though Andy - you're a looker of a hooker and after Chance2Dance *I* was going to stalk you ;)

It would be easier with the Tramp though as you could literally hide behind him and turn with him when he turned to look behind like in the silent movies...er...maybe :)


Originally posted by Graham
I think it's because you're seeing more of the person's body language than you normally would. So someone might be a bit plain, so no second glance in the street, but on the dancefloor they seem expressive and sexy, so second, third, twenty-seventh look! Conversely, someone looks good on the street but on the dancefloor looks like a muppet, or a sleaze

First impressions at a dance will always tell you more about a person - You can see arrogance, rhythm, sense of fun, sleazyness and other traits quite quickly - it's later on they'll spoil it by opening their mouths :) Which just demonstrates that you can tell a lot about a person by watching them dance and get a good or bad first impression but getting to know them involves the usual social linking we all have various degrees of competance at. Don't hedge all your bets on a first (or second) impression. I fit the label 'muppet' fairly well for those that don't know me ;).

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Graham,
Please will you blow in Brady's ear for a birthday treat for him?
Sure will - are you going to bring some jelly treats to make his birthday one to remember too? :wink:

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
I fit the label 'muppet' fairly well for those that don't know me ;).

Not quite as well as for those that DO know him, but true none the less.:wink:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 01:28 PM
Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
I can only guess you affect WAY more glans than I do.:devil: :really: :really: I take it you were hoping you could slip it in without Franck noticing?

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 01:31 PM
:tears: :tears: :tears:

My spelling just isn't what it used to be...

Still, you gotta respect the forum:

We have one thread in which people are discussing the finer points of Latin...

And another where G. is shedding his Heathcliffe persona and impressing us all with his entendres.

Funny this.... has anyone else noticed you NEVER see Graham and Finbar Saunders in the same place?!?!?!:what:

Makes you wonder......

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-July-2003, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by Graham
:really: :really: I take it you were hoping you could slip it in without Franck noticing?

Do you have a qualification in innuendo ? black belt or something ? :)

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 01:34 PM
Originally posted by Graham
:really: :really: I take it you were hoping you could slip it in without Franck noticing?

I think we were all hoping nobody slipped in it, with or without Franck noticing.

I have sharks.
Cx

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-July-2003, 01:42 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet

I have sharks.
Cx

You been to the Doctors with that ?!? :what:

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 01:42 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Do you have a qualification in innuendo ? black belt or something ? :)

You start of with boa, then feather boa and work up thru the gradings to leather belt. Leather belt 2nd Dan has studs.. and 3rd Dan, you have the studs on the inside!!:what:

I'm telling you!! Watch the G's belt tonight!!:wink:

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 01:43 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Do you have a qualification in innuendo ? black belt or something ? :)
CJ and I have been doing exclusive workshops.
G-man is our Liza / Rita.

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 01:43 PM
[i]Originally posted by Graham
I'll whisper in anyone's ear if they ask nicely..... [/B]

anyone???

:really:

CJ
23rd-July-2003, 01:44 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
I have sharks.


Is that like crabs, but with more bite?

I know that dressed crab, and shark go well in the restaurant... but this is beyond my knowledge.

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 01:46 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
You been to the Doctors with that ?!? :what:
Yeah, but as usual he said the best way to get rid of them was just to shut my eyes and swallow and ask Wendy to help if they get out of hand.:innocent:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
anyone???

:really: :confused: :confused: What? :confused: :confused: Are you asking us to explain your original post?? :confused:

(Explanation: before she quickly edited it, Pammy had quoted herself, and not me.)

Anyway, to address your question, yes, pretty much.........but what and how I whispered would depend very much on the individual :wink:

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by Graham
:confused: :confused: What? :confused: :confused: Are you asking us to explain your original post?? :confused:

I'm blonde.

Well, I was til I dyed my hair anyway!

P

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
I'm blonde.
That explains so much. :wink:

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 02:03 PM
Originally posted by Graham
That explains so much. :wink:
:eek: OY :reallymad:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 02:05 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
:eek: OY :reallymad: I can whisper to you what it explains later if you'd like........:wink:

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-July-2003, 02:15 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I can whisper to you what it explains later if you'd like........:wink:

explain to later us you will young Graham. A jedi explanation it will be :)

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I can whisper to you what it explains later if you'd like........:wink:

Guess you must be blonde too, or at least dying your hair :D

Grant
23rd-July-2003, 02:42 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Guess you must be blonde too, or at least dying your hair :D
given the way he is hawking himself around at the moment it can't be long before his natural hair colour becomes common knowledge :wink:

Grant

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by Grant
given the way he is hawking himself around at the moment it can't be long before his natural hair colour becomes common knowledge :wink:

Grant

I think it's green! :wink:

or perhaps he prefers a good old purple rinse :D

Chicklet
23rd-July-2003, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Guess you must be blonde too, or at least dying your hair :D
I know what he meant!:D

Grant
23rd-July-2003, 02:53 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
I know what he meant!:D
and...or do you just want to be a big tease too? :wink:

Grant

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 03:03 PM
Originally posted by Chicklet
I know what he meant!:D

Ah, but I've got nobody to whisper to me :tears:

I'm down here in London.

Hmmm, maybe if I hadn't dyed my hair I'd be able to hear from here? Depends on the size of my shell likes I suppose.

*wonders who'll be the first to post a SIZE related comment*
:wink:

Px

Pammy
23rd-July-2003, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
I fit the label 'muppet' fairly well for those that don't know me ;). [/B]

and for those that do?

Going back to the ego thing though, is it the same for men then that you go off dancing with a girl who has a big ego?

I guess that must be my problem then as I was beginning to think it might be my black tooth, long underarm hair and flip flops that was limiting my offers of dances :wink:

Graham
23rd-July-2003, 05:53 PM
Don't worry about missing out Pammy - I promise when I see you I'll give you a good whispering too. :really: :wink:

Originally posted by Pammy
Going back to the ego thing though, is it the same for men then that you go off dancing with a girl who has a big ego? I think this is rarer than the reverse - the thing about a guy doing it is that he is generally performing for the audience, and often limiting the opportunity for the girl to express herself. Most girls who like performing will direct a lot of their showing off to their partner, so you don't feel like such a useless appendage.

Originally posted by Pammy
I guess that must be my problem then as I was beginning to think it might be my black tooth, long underarm hair and flip flops that was limiting my offers of dances :wink: I see from your avatar you like showing off your long underarm hair, so maybe it's a combination :wink:

Graham
24th-July-2003, 01:21 AM
Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
Funny this.... has anyone else noticed you NEVER see Graham and Finbar Saunders in the same place?!?!?!:what:
Easy explanation - you always see me at Ceroc, whereas Finbar never goes, as he prefers a good shag......:wink:





For the uninitiated, please note that shag is a type of dance

Dreadful Scathe
24th-July-2003, 01:42 PM
Originally posted by Graham
I can whisper to you what it explains later if you'd like........:wink:

reading that back and in context with previous posts and it does actually make perfect sense - more fool me. Just goes to show, trust the people with bigger IQ's :)





Scathes IQ is "¥82orange and his favourite colour is cheese

Sheepman
24th-July-2003, 02:37 PM
Well I look away for a day or so, and not only has this topic grown like some men's egos, but I'm thoroughly bemused by it. So maybe a return to sanity -


Originally quoted by Andy McGregor
Over the years I've had a few stalkers but my worst one would ask me to dance, then ask for another and another and maybe even another then sit down and watch me until a few tracks later she asked me again. Maybe we should compare notes, my worst cases have also been in your locality, but not as extreme as yours.


Originally quoted by Pammy I mean the guy who is good looking, a great dancer, but he's not dancing with you, he's dancing with himself! and
Originally posted by Graham
I think this is rarer than the reverse - the thing about a guy doing it is that he is generally performing for the audience, and often limiting the opportunity for the girl to express herself. Most girls who like performing will direct a lot of their showing off to their partner, so you don't feel like such a useless appendage.

I have come across a very few women who are only interested in posing to the crowd (even if there isn't one), not relating to their partner (or is it just me?) at all. I don't ask them for a second time, and maybe that's what they want! If men are doing this sort of thing, I would rarely notice, as if I'm not dancing I'll be looking to see who the good women dancers are, there again I suppose this type of guy is not looking for MY attention.


Originally quoted by DS
First impressions at a dance will always tell you more about a person - You can see arrogance, rhythm, sense of fun, sleazyness and other traits quite quickly - it's later on they'll spoil it by opening their mouths
Oh dear, now I'm seriously worried, I started working on competitions about a year ago, and since then my dancing has changed significantly, attending workshops which tell you to practice "performing to the crowd and getting people's attention". So does my changing dancing style mean my character is becoming (more) despicable! If so then I think I should go back to the "competitions are evil" thread. :sad: :sad:
Greg

CJ
28th-July-2003, 09:45 AM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe

Scathes IQ is "¥82orange and his favourite colour is cheese

Will someone please explain to DS that dancing style and colour are NOT the same thing?!?:D

Dreadful Scathe
28th-July-2003, 09:48 AM
Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
Will someone please explain to DS that dancing style and colour are NOT the same thing?!?:D


100% mature cheddar :)

Pammy
28th-July-2003, 10:02 AM
Originally posted by Sheepman
Oh dear, now I'm seriously worried, I started working on competitions about a year ago, and since then my dancing has changed significantly, attending workshops which tell you to practice "performing to the crowd and getting people's attention". So does my changing dancing style mean my character is becoming (more) despicable! If so then I think I should go back to the "competitions are evil" thread. :sad: :sad:
Greg [/B]

You have nothing to worry about Sheepy, you're a delight to dance with :nice:

Rachel
28th-July-2003, 11:57 AM
Originally posted by Pammy
You have nothing to worry about Sheepy, you're a delight to dance with :nice: Seconded!! Greg, you were amazing last night. Umm, I mean amazing dances ... Our best yet, I think? The music helped, too - gorgeously slinky and seductive. I love the music they play at Chigwell! I've always had a brilliant night there. Good to see Wendy and Mary there, too - hope they enjoyed it. What did you think of the comp?
Rachel

Sheepman
28th-July-2003, 05:58 PM
Originally posted by Rachel
Our best yet, I think? The music helped, too
Absolutely, looking forward to more, but I'm not going to mention that dress, 'cos I was looking into your eyes of course!
Wendy enjoyed it, despite headache and fatigue, not so sure about Mary, she and Tony left early 'cos of the crowds. My thoughts on the competition will appear later when I get time, but I think are very similar to yours.

Greg

LilyB
29th-July-2003, 12:37 AM
Originally posted by Sheepman
....Oh dear, now I'm seriously worried, I started working on competitions about a year ago, and since then my dancing has changed significantly, attending workshops which tell you to practice "performing to the crowd and getting people's attention". So does my changing dancing style mean my character is becoming (more) despicable!
Greg

Quite the contrary, Greg. Aside from the pure dancing aspect, you always have a broad smile on your face when you are dancing & look as if you are having a terrific time. That's why us ladies love dancing with you (in addition to all the cool moves you throw in :wink: )

LilyB

Dreadful Scathe
29th-July-2003, 09:31 AM
Originally posted by Sheepman
So does my changing dancing style mean my character is becoming (more) despicable! If so then I think I should go back to the "competitions are evil" thread. :sad: :sad:
Greg

Not at all. Your practice sessions will only make your personality shine through more :). At least thats my opinion, can anyone tell me if despicable people can make delightful dancers ? (more likely among pro's i suppose)

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 09:35 AM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
despicable people can make delightful dancers ? [/B]

"Despicable"; that's a very ornate word for this forum isn't it :wink: !

Bet that was Grahams idea; has he been whispering in your shell like again?

As far as Greg being despicable goes; not possible, he's baaaaa too nice for that :kiss:

Dreadful Scathe
29th-July-2003, 09:37 AM
Originally posted by Pammy


As far as Greg being despicable goes; not possible, he's baaaaa too nice for that :kiss:

He should come dance up Aberdeen way - he'll be very popular ;)

Graham
29th-July-2003, 12:27 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Bet that was Grahams idea; has he been whispering in your shell like again?
Actually Greg's word, posted a few pages back on this thread. I'd be more likely to use dastardly, or Machiavellian, or..................:grin:

Dreadful Scathe
29th-July-2003, 12:36 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
"Despicable"; that's a very ornate word for this forum isn't it :wink: !


Hmm I hardly call I word I picked up from Daffy Duck 'ornate' :).
Other words and phrases in my extensive vocabulary include "Suffering succotash" and foreign language phrases such as "“Arriba, arriba, arriba, ándale, ándale, olé, olé, olé, ándale!" and "It eez love, ma cherie!".

:)

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Other words and phrases in my extensive vocabulary include "Suffering succotash"

I hope you spat on your screen when you said that!

Px

Grant
29th-July-2003, 03:13 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
I hope you spat on your screen when you said that!

Px
lets just say that if you ever talk to ds face to face you might be glad you have all those rolls of paper :wink:

Grant

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 03:23 PM
Originally posted by Grant
lets just say that if you ever talk to ds face to face you might be glad you have all those rolls of paper :wink:

Grant

and indeed a shrunken head??!! :wink: :wink:

Is DS gonna let this one go????

Px

Grant
29th-July-2003, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Is DS gonna let this one go????

Px
i hope not :D
get back in here and defend yourself ds :wink:

Grant

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by Grant
i hope not :D
get back in here and defend yourself ds :wink:

Grant

It's possible Sheepy has got to him with his wasp... :what:

Dreadful Scathe
29th-July-2003, 03:52 PM
Originally posted by Grant
lets just say that if you ever talk to ds face to face you might be glad you have all those rolls of paper :wink:


Thats DS to you. :) I dont think thats rolls of toilet paper, its a list of Pammys extensive vocabulary. You should get one of those Grant :)

(one of 'those' being 'a list', 'a vocabulary' or 'a pammy' :) )

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 04:01 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
(one of 'those' being 'a list', 'a vocabulary' or 'a pammy' :) ) [/B]

"A Pammy" :wink: :wink: :wink:

I like that.

I only have to have that word published eleven times in five years and I'll be in the Oxford Dictionary... <dreams on>

Unless of course it reads:-

A Pammy - n. an item of clothing used to disguise folds; v. to dance in a strange manner whilst holding aloft a shrunken head & toilet roll :tears: :tears: :tears:

Grant
29th-July-2003, 04:27 PM
Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Thats DS to you. :) I dont think thats rolls of toilet paper, its a list of Pammys extensive vocabulary. You should get one of those Grant :)

(one of 'those' being 'a list', 'a vocabulary' or 'a pammy' :) )
i don't like my chances of getting a 'vocabulary' and my chances of getting a 'pammy' are even worse...
so i've developed a list to port instead :D
happy now Mr DS

Grant

Dreadful Scathe
29th-July-2003, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by Grant
i don't like my chances of getting a 'vocabulary' and my chances of getting a 'pammy' are even worse...
so i've developed a list to port instead :D
happy now [B]Mr DS
B]

Im always happy, i just LOOK blue.

Yes, i've noticed your list to port when dancing - tell you what, Ill dance as the woman and i'll list to the right, that'll straighten you out a bit ;).

Pammy
29th-July-2003, 04:34 PM
Originally posted by Grant
i don't like my chances of getting a 'vocabulary' and my chances of getting a 'pammy' are even worse...
so i've developed a list to port instead :D
happy now Mr DS

Grant

Is <b>Mr</b> not taking things a little too far. Before we know it, It'll be <b>Sir</b>!!!

:wink:

Grant
29th-July-2003, 04:36 PM
Originally posted by Pammy
Is <b>Mr</b> not taking things a little too far. Before we know it, It'll be <b>Sir</b>!!!

:wink:
i think if he is offering to dance with the men he has bypassed all of the usual titles and gone straight to Queen :wink:

Grant

Sheepman
29th-July-2003, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by LilyB
Quite the contrary, Greg. Aside from the pure dancing aspect, you always have a broad smile on your face when you are dancing & look as if you are having a terrific time. That's why us ladies love dancing with you (in addition to all the cool moves you throw in :wink: )


Oh Lily, how am I to cut down on browsing when you say things like that! But anyone not smiling when dancing with you must need an aestheticism transplant. (Is that in the OED yet?)

And I wish I could recall how it was I finished off that last dance, 'cos I'd like to replicate it, just a combination of inspiration from you and the music. :waycool:

greg