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View Full Version : I wont ask for a dance a social experiment



stewart38
7th-March-2007, 02:00 PM
Partners - I've noticed a lot of ladies standing / sitting around waiting for somebody to ask them. While I have no reservations at all to come and ask people for a dance, I felt really bad about some others. Is that usual? I'd have thought if people actually make an effort of going all the way to camber, they'd be more ... pro-active?


Comment from Camber, which with Gender balancing the number of women ‘waiting’ to be asked is a lot less then without gender balancing

Anyway between 9.30pm and 11pm on Saturday I decided to

1. Ask no one for a dance and wait to be asked
2. Ask no one for a 2nd dance
3. Not speak to anyone unless they spoke to me when dancing

First 9 songs was asked each time . clearly its very different to doing the asking as you don’t know who your going to dance with (Fletch was cira 5 :flower: )

Around Tune 10 was first time I had to stand out. It was a track I liked but wasn’t going to break my rule. I felt left out

After that I started to move up and down the line but didn’t ask anyone

About dance 15 I did ask a lady for a second dance so broke a rule (leather skirt)

Ended experiment re dance 20 which was about 90mins

What did I learn ?

Its kind of fun not knowing who you are going to dance with but frustrating missing a song you want to dance to

You remove any shallow reason for asking for dance PVC cat suit etc and to be honest it makes no difference to the enjoyment. I.e. I don’t think I suffered re waiting to be asked.

There was still more women there and if I had to ‘wait’ for 3 or 4 songs before being asked id have probably given up on the ‘experiment’ by song 3 or would have tried a seductive walk

However the lack of control re who I dance with didn’t seem to impact on my enjoyment which surprised me

However if you want to dance ask !

David Bailey
7th-March-2007, 02:17 PM
Anyway between 9.30pm and 11pm on Saturday I decided to

1. Ask no one for a dance and wait to be asked
2. Ask no one for a 2nd dance
3. Not speak to anyone unless they spoke to me when dancing
Christ, that's my normal MO anyway... :blush: :eek:


if I had to ‘wait’ for 3 or 4 songs before being asked id have ... tried a seductive walk
This I'd pay good money to see :rofl: :na:

Jhutch
7th-March-2007, 02:27 PM
There was still more women there and if I had to ‘wait’ for 3 or 4 songs before being asked id have probably given up on the ‘experiment’ by song 3 or would have tried a seductive walk



I have found that every time i start looking at my phone to see what the time is, then i normally get asked to dance straight away:clap:

Gav
7th-March-2007, 02:27 PM
This I'd pay good money to see :rofl: :na:

I'd have paid to not see that! :rofl: :rofl:

dave the scaffolder
7th-March-2007, 02:32 PM
When i was single i had a strategy, given to me by a fantastic dancer.

Always pick the ladies stood on the side of the dance floor wiggling to the music.

After a couple of dances with these ladies i am invariably asked to dance for the next 5 or 6 tracks, then go back to asking these ladies again.

This system works everytime i can dance all night long using this system.

You men try this, i guarantee it will work everytime. xxx xxx

Twirly
7th-March-2007, 02:40 PM
When i was single i had a strategy, given to me by a fantastic dancer.

Always pick the ladies stood on the side of the dance floor wiggling to the music.

After a couple of dances with these ladies i am invariably asked to dance for the next 5 or 6 tracks, then go back to asking these ladies again.

This system works everytime i can dance all night long using this system.

You men try this, i guarantee it will work everytime. xxx xxx

Interesting. I often seem to find that if I'm up and dancing, I'll get asked a lot. But if I sit down (for a break because I'm hot/tired) that it can take me some time to get up and dancing again if I'm waiting to be asked. Even if I stand on the edge of the dance floor and wiggle/sway to the music. :na: Fortunately I've mostly got over my fear of asking - still get shy sometimes, but I can usually do my equivalent of DTS's technique.

Is there a correlation between the amount you dance and the amount you get asked to dance I wonder?

Jhutch
7th-March-2007, 02:48 PM
Interesting. I often seem to find that if I'm up and dancing, I'll get asked a lot. But if I sit down (for a break because I'm hot/tired) that it can take me some time to get up and dancing again if I'm waiting to be asked. Even if I stand on the edge of the dance floor and wiggle/sway to the music. :na: Fortunately I've mostly got over my fear of asking - still get shy sometimes, but I can usually do my equivalent of DTS's technique.

Is there a correlation between the amount you dance and the amount you get asked to dance I wonder?

Yeah, i find that some nights no-one wants to dance with me and some nights i can't get off the floor (not that i am complaining). I find that if i am not dancing for a second song then i get out of the right mood a bit(:confused: ) and lose the confidence to ask people:confused:

I try to take the approach to just ask rather than wait to be asked - having a positive attitude hopefully helps my dancing too (couldn't make it any worse:grin: ).

straycat
7th-March-2007, 02:52 PM
I'd have paid to not see that! :rofl: :rofl:

Sounds good! If you pay me enough, I too will promise never to try a seductive walk in front of you. :grin:

Gav
7th-March-2007, 02:58 PM
Sounds good! If you pay me enough, I too will promise never to try a seductive walk in front of you. :grin:

That's just him, there's some people I don't mind sweetie... :awe:

Jamie
7th-March-2007, 07:10 PM
When i was single i had a strategy, given to me by a fantastic dancer.

Always pick the ladies stood on the side of the dance floor wiggling to the music.

After a couple of dances with these ladies i am invariably asked to dance for the next 5 or 6 tracks, then go back to asking these ladies again.

This system works everytime i can dance all night long using this system.

You men try this, i guarantee it will work everytime. xxx xxx

Too true! Last time I stood wiggling to a track, Dave wouldn't leave me alone!! :blush:

purplehyacinth
7th-March-2007, 07:25 PM
Interesting. I often seem to find that if I'm up and dancing, I'll get asked a lot. But if I sit down (for a break because I'm hot/tired) that it can take me some time to get up and dancing again if I'm waiting to be asked.
:yeah: Me too. I find that if I don't get asked for a dance and end up sitting out, it can take a few dances before either I am asked up again (if I am not asking), or even if I am asking, as most of the men I want to dance with have been up dancing and are asked by other ladies (who have also been dancing) before they leave the dancefloor/get within asking distance of me.


Is there a correlation between the amount you dance and the amount you get asked to dance I wonder?

Based on the above, I think so.

Cruella
7th-March-2007, 07:57 PM
I decided i really didn't feel like dancing, early hours of monday morning (at Storm), so i sat out for a few hours. During that time i think i was asked about once every 6/7 tracks. Normally at a freestyle i rarely sit down at all and if i haven't asked someone, i'm standing or bopping at the edge of the dancefloor. I'll get asked a lot more often. So i guess the fact is, if you sit down you look like you need to rest and chillout so you're less likely to be asked.

NZ Monkey
7th-March-2007, 11:52 PM
Is there a correlation between the amount you dance and the amount you get asked to dance I wonder?Look at it this way:

When you're sitting out a track at a party or freestyle, what are you watching 90% of the time? I'm willing to put money on the fact that it's the people on the dance floor. You're therefore more likely to see someone you want to dance with who is on the floor already, and so you're more likely to ask them to dance for the next track.

Thus the vicious cycle continues :na:

Lynn
8th-March-2007, 01:27 AM
I decided i really didn't feel like dancing, early hours of monday morning (at Storm), so i sat out for a few hours. During that time i think i was asked about once every 6/7 tracks. Normally at a freestyle i rarely sit down at all and if i haven't asked someone, i'm standing or bopping at the edge of the dancefloor. I'll get asked a lot more often. So i guess the fact is, if you sit down you look like you need to rest and chillout so you're less likely to be asked.I was sitting out one evening last weekend, well back from the edge (surrounded by tables) - someone commented that I wouldn't get asked for many dances sitting there, I realised I didn't feel like dancing and was sitting there because I wouldn't get asked to dance, and called it a night.

I love being asked. But there are some leads I love to dance with who might not be able to ask me if I'm sitting out as they are in such demand they can't get off the floor. So at times I'm proactive and I go and ask them. I don't tend to ask leads more than once or so who never ask me. If I've asked the past few times I'll often not ask again til they ask me.

I know its usual for the girls to ask. I do ask sometimes. But I really think a dance starts with a lovely connection if the lead has invited the follower onto to the floor.

Twirly
8th-March-2007, 02:14 PM
Look at it this way:

When you're sitting out a track at a party or freestyle, what are you watching 90% of the time? I'm willing to put money on the fact that it's the people on the dance floor. You're therefore more likely to see someone you want to dance with who is on the floor already, and so you're more likely to ask them to dance for the next track.

Thus the vicious cycle continues :na:

That might be why I get asked more if I'm dancing, but it's not how I select who to ask to dance. Most of the time when I've tried, the prospective partner has headed off the dancefloor in the other direction :angry: :tears: I rarely run after them though. I'd probably cause an accident if I did! :rofl: I must get some stalking tips from some of the other forumites sometime :wink:

I tend to let everyone else around me sort out who they are dancing with, then pick a man who is jiggling around at the edge of the dancefloor (the jiggling indicating to me that he would like to be dancing). Mostly it works very well :grin:

stewart38
8th-March-2007, 02:16 PM
Look at it this way:

When you're sitting out a track at a party or freestyle, what are you watching 90% of the time? I'm willing to put money on the fact that it's the people on the dance floor. You're therefore more likely to see someone you want to dance with who is on the floor already, and so you're more likely to ask them to dance for the next track.

Thus the vicious cycle continues :na:

The point of thread is some people wont ask people to dance for what ever reason

I thought at the time to try it

Not sure what you mean my vicious cycle ?

I was interested to know what it ‘feels’ like not being able to dance to a track you like etc etc Much of this maybe because a women wont ask ,maybe just not enough men around

As a man who asks 90% of the time and usually has the luxury of having more women over I don’t get this ‘experience’ often ,unless it 4am and the women have gone to bed (ie at Camber)

One interesting point of 15+ dances I had not one asked me for a second dance but only 1 in 20 times would I be refused a second dance if I asked ???

I wonder how many women ask for a second dance ??

Later on was refused a 4th dance at camber with a women who said if she did ,she would have to change her knickers maybe thats a reason ??

Twirly
8th-March-2007, 02:37 PM
The point of thread is some people wont ask people to dance for what ever reason

What's wrong - are we taking things off thread? :na:


Not sure what you mean my vicious cycle ?

I think NZ was referring to my comment about being more likely to be asked to dance if you're already up dancing - but that's men asking women, not necessarily the other way round (or is it :confused: )


I was interested to know what it ‘feels’ like not being able to dance to a track you like etc etc Much of this maybe because a women wont ask ,maybe just not enough men around

As a man who asks 90% of the time and usually has the luxury of having more women over I don’t get this ‘experience’ often ,unless it 4am and the women have gone to bed (ie at Camber)

One interesting point of 15+ dances I had not one asked me for a second dance but only 1 in 20 times would I be refused a second dance if I asked ???

I wonder how many women ask for a second dance ??

Isn't there another thread on this? Ah yes, here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/intermediate-corner/11687-consecutive-dances-3.html) I rarely ask for a second dance immediately though - am never that convinced that the lead will have enjoyed the first one enough for me to risk asking him. Though I may go back later in the evening if it's someone who has asked me to dance a few times (and therefore I can assume that he likes dancing with me).

stewart38
8th-March-2007, 03:18 PM
Isn't there another thread on this? Ah yes, here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/intermediate-corner/11687-consecutive-dances-3.html) I rarely ask for a second dance immediately though - am never that convinced that the lead will have enjoyed the first one enough for me to risk asking him. Though I may go back later in the evening if it's someone who has asked me to dance a few times (and therefore I can assume that he likes dancing with me).

There are 10,888 threads so im sure every subject has been covered apart from

Ant farming in Peru to

Points on your licence for texting at 100 miles an hour down the M25 totally unfair

Twirly
8th-March-2007, 03:36 PM
There are 10,888 threads so im sure every subject has been covered apart from

Ant farming in Peru to

Points on your licence for texting at 100 miles an hour down the M25 totally unfair

True - but I've actually only been reading any threads this week yesterday and today (work has been utterly boring) and I knew where it was as it was very recent... I wasn't having a go either, not sure why you think I was :confused:

Sheesh - when I first joined here I got told off for repeating questions that had already been asked, now I'm trying to cut down on the repetition and I'm still getting it in the neck! :(

David Bailey
8th-March-2007, 03:37 PM
There are 10,888 threads so im sure every subject has been covered apart from

Ant farming in Peru to

Points on your licence for texting at 100 miles an hour down the M25 totally unfair
Ooooh, I was looking for inspiration too :clap:

stewart38
8th-March-2007, 03:41 PM
True - but I've actually only been reading any threads this week yesterday and today (work has been utterly boring) and I knew where it was as it was very recent... I wasn't having a go either, not sure why you think I was :confused:

Sheesh - when I first joined here I got told off for repeating questions that had already been asked, now I'm trying to cut down on the repetition and I'm still getting it in the neck! :(

Wasn’t think you were having ago ? :blush:

It was my idea of a joke ask DJ he knows im a joke

David Bailey
8th-March-2007, 03:45 PM
Wasn’t think you were having ago ? :blush:

It was my idea of a joke ask DJ he knows im a joke
Well, fair enough...

As the great Wodge has said, S38's posts are 99% rubbish. But the remaining 1% are classics, which to me makes it worthwhile.