Etiquette

[ToothFairy]

If a couple attends a dance together(possibly dates) is it proper or cricket to ask either one to dance individually since they have arrived together or is either one "fair game?" :respect:

[StokeBloke]

If a couple attends a dance together(possibly dates) is it proper or cricket to ask either one to dance individually since they have arrived together or is either one "fair game?" :respect:
It is the norm for anyone to ask anyone else to dance at Ceroc. Sometimes you will have fixed couples, but that is very rare (there are a couple at one of my regular venues and she suffers from a shoulder complaint, so she sticks with her husband as he knows her limitations). So in answer, anyone is 'fair game', but remember there is a difference between dancing with someone and hitting on someone for three minutes whilst swaying about to music. The former is fun, whilst the latter is sleazy :rolleyes:

[ToothFairy]

Thanks for the expedient reply, StokeBloke You have answered my question fully. I dance for enjoyment and do not "hit" on the opposite sex. If I did my wife of 39 years would kick my arse! LOL! :flower:

[timbp]

If a couple attends a dance together(possibly dates) is it proper or cricket to ask either one to dance individually since they have arrived together or is either one "fair game?" :respect:

Ten minutes ago I read this post on another forum (http://www.strictlywestie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=40359#40359):

When I was in South Carolina at a Shag dance, I saw that one man was dancing WCS and so I turned to the woman next to me, who seemed to be a regular, and asked her if she thought he would dance with me if I asked. She said that first I have to approach his wife and ask her if it was ok, then she will ask her husband for me. I was like WHAT?!?! I did it, but it seems so backwards. Everywhere else I've been, you can walk up to almsot anyone and ask them to dance.

[StokeBloke]

Ten minutes ago I read this post on another forum (http://www.strictlywestie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=40359#40359):
South Carolina {..snip...} seems so backwards.
Hehehehe - enough said :whistle:

[Dreadful Scathe]

Ten minutes ago I read this post on another forum (http://www.strictlywestie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=40359#40359):
When I was in South Carolina at a Shag dance, I saw that one man was dancing WCS and so I turned to the woman next to me, who seemed to be a regular, and asked her if she thought he would dance with me if I asked. She said that first I have to approach his wife and ask her if it was ok, then she will ask her husband for me. I was like WHAT?!?! I did it, but it seems so backwards. Everywhere else I've been, you can walk up to almsot anyone and ask them to dance.

That is backward :) I would be extremely insulted if my wife did that and so would she, I can see you asking a parent if your child could dance with theirs, but adults! weird :)

[straycat]

If a couple attends a dance together(possibly dates) is it proper or cricket to ask either one to dance individually since they have arrived together or is either one "fair game?" :respect:

It is fine to ask one to dance 'individually', but for politeness' sake, one should later make a point of asking the other. To keep things fair. :waycool:

[David Bailey]

Ten minutes ago I read this post on another forum (http://www.strictlywestie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=40359#40359):
It's very much worth mentioning that different dances have different cultures, and different conventions. For example, I believe "cutting in" is both common and expected at Lambada / Zouk.

Hell, different countries have different conventions too - the cabaceo in Argentina seems notably absent in most of the AT venues I've been to.

MJ is one of the only dances where women ask men, especially unknown men, on a regular basis - unless this happens in WCS?

[MartinHarper]

I'd suggest:
* visually acknowledge the partner you're not asking
* ideally go in as a "tag team" so that the unasked partner is not left on their own
* avoid asking when the couple are deep in conversation

[Tiggerbabe]

* ideally go in as a "tag team" so that the unasked partner is not left on their Sound advice, Martin. :D but it does conjure up images of men in leotards, tights and capes :eek: (flashback to the Glasgow busk and our very own "Cerocman" :whistle: )

[Miguel]

If a couple attends a dance together(possibly dates) is it proper or cricket to ask either one to dance individually since they have arrived together or is either one "fair game?" :respect:

http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8185

[Twirlie Bird]

I always attend with my husband but I don't view us as a couple when we are there. We are two individual dancers. Just because he's dancing doesn't mean that I have to dance and vice versa. If a lady asks him to dance I don't feel left out. I certainly don't expect her other half to ask me. Even if we are deep in conversation I don't mind either one of us being asked to dance. We can converse with each other anytime. We have gone to the venue to dance.

[Twirly]

I always attend with my husband but I don't view us as a couple when we are there. We are two individual dancers. Just because he's dancing doesn't mean that I have to dance and vice versa. If a lady asks him to dance I don't feel left out. I certainly don't expect her other half to ask me. Even if we are deep in conversation I don't mind either one of us being asked to dance. We can converse with each other anytime. We have gone to the venue to dance.

:yeah:

Only recently part of a dancing couple :D but I totally agree. Having said that, Beo noticed that if we were sitting together, it seemed that guys were less willing to come and ask me to dance than if I was sitting with a female friend.

[Lost Leader]

I always attend with my husband but I don't view us as a couple when we are there. We are two individual dancers. Just because he's dancing doesn't mean that I have to dance and vice versa. If a lady asks him to dance I don't feel left out. I certainly don't expect her other half to ask me. Even if we are deep in conversation I don't mind either one of us being asked to dance. We can converse with each other anytime. We have gone to the venue to dance.

Totally agree with this. When my partner and I first started MJ we very quickly realised that if we sat together as a couple we both got less dances. We therefore started to sit apart on opposite sides of a table as we both wanted to get as many dances as we could (we do dance together though several times each night). On the rare occasions we sat together I have even been asked by other men for permission to dance with my partner.

If you do go as a couple and find that you are not getting asked to dance as much as you would like try sitting a little apart from your partner - in our experience people of either sex who are looking for someone to dance with are less likely to pick anyone who is obviously part of a couple. We still get people asking us form time to time if we are "together" and that is after nearly 18 months. We arrive together, leave together, dance together quite a bit - all we do is just sit apart. Amazing what a difference it makes.

[Sheepman]

MJ is one of the only dances where women ask men, especially unknown men, on a regular basis - unless this happens in WCS?
Yes, it does.
And not only here where we have the MJ culture, but also in the USA.

Greg

[ToothFairy]

I am glad that I began this thread. From your(pl.) posts I have obtained some very good advice. Just wish I could share it with the dance attendees.

It seems that many of the dances that I attend in Lexington, KY couples that arrive together stick together and it does become a little awkward to ask the female to dance. But one should realize the chief reason for attending is to dance and mingle.

It is commonplace for the females to ask the men to dance. That is gratifying since many of the women that ask me to dance are young enough to be my daughter. :rofl:

I guess either I am a pretty fair dancer, just way cool or they are just very kind considerate people. :wink:

Thanks again for all the interesting comments! This is a great forum.

[ducasi]

Sure, you can ask anyone – arriving as a couple shouldn't be taken as meaning anything.

Thing is, if a couple has decided that they only want to dance together, then we should all respect that too.

Some people's "chief reason" for attending may be different to yours.

[Gav]

I've gone to a venue I've never been to on my own. I knew no-one and I didn't stop dancing all night. I think I probably only had the chance to ask once or twice. The rest of the time I was grabbed for a dance too quick for me to ask.
However, I went to yet another unknown venue but went with a female friend (not as a couple) and both of us were a bit fed up at not being asked to dance. Fortunately we just did the asking instead.
So you might be doing them a favour by showing everyone that it's OK to ask one half of a couple to dance.

[Gadget]

Totally agree with this. When my partner and I first started MJ we very quickly realised that if we sat together as a couple we both got less dances.
I'm sure some of it must be ettiquete of not interupting rather than 'partnered' - I know I will skip over folk that are engrossed in conversation {...Except if I've waited a few dances for them and this seems like an opportunity :innocent:}

[StokeBloke]

I'm sure some of it must be ettiquete of not interupting rather than 'partnered' - I know I will skip over folk that are engrossed in conversation {...Except if I've waited a few dances for them and this seems like an opportunity :innocent:}
I just stand next to chatters until they notice me and pause. Then I say to the lady something along the lines of "Hi, I can see you're both busy chatting, but would you mind interrupting your conversation for a quick dance with me?"

Try it, you may be surprised :wink:

One lady even said when we walked to the floor, thank you for rescuing me! :eek:

[Gadget]

I just stand next to chatters until they notice me and pause. Then I say to the lady something along the lines of "Hi, I can see you're both busy chatting, but would you mind interrupting your conversation for a quick dance with me?"
What? Waste dancing time waiting for them to notice me... and actually talking !:what::confused:

{:rofl:}

[LMC]

Alternatively - but only if you know the person well! - you could just take a firm but gentle hold on their shoulders or hips from behind (er, that would be with your HANDS) and (gently!) drag them to the dance floor. If it is a lead you know, it makes you feel dead special that someone wants to dance with you *that* much :D

*waves bye bye at Icey - catch up with you when your b/f has finished with me :wink:*