Dancing with an ex

[stewart38]

Given in some venues every one has dated every one

Im be interested to know what are peoples experiences of dancing with an ex are in the widest sense

One scenario is your dating another dancer who sometimes goes to the same venue as your ex.

Do you never dance with your ex again and even turn them down if they ask you (current partner there)

Only dance with them once and only if they ask you or max twice

Or you ask for 7 dances in a row with the current partner wondering what’s going on the ex doesn’t refuse any?

What if you just like dancing with an ex but there is NOTHING there between you

Should you just not dance with them to protect someone else’s insecurities ?? or only dance with them when your current partner isn’t about, that just seems silly and cant help trust

7 in a row is stupid particularly if current partner is there but should you go out of your way to avoid them ??

what are the standard rules ? :sick:

[Lee Bartholomew]

Depends on how well you get on with your ex i guess.

Also depends on if your current GF knows who your ex is.

What would be a bigger problem is if you turn up with your current girlfriend having still not split up with the last!!

[Lory]

Its probably a question that Agony Smurf can answer better :worthy: but here's my attempt anyway

Not that i've ever been in this position myself but i'd suggest that, if you intend to dance with her, that you make sure you introduce your current g/f and your ex at the soonest opportunity, making sure you stand 'with' your g/f and introduce her proudly to your ex saying, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend... Cynthia. Cynthia meet Dorothy. :grin:

That makes the situation crystal clear for everyone. Your not hiding anything, your g/f feels secure and your ex doesn't feel ignored or awkward.;)

Then i'd say, you can have one or two dances but its important to look after the feelings of your current g/f more.

It might also help to reassure your g/f by saying something like, I much prefer 'our' dances but I'm going to have a couple of dances with Dorothy, just cos I want to avoid a bad atmosphere, which in turn will make it a more pleasant evening for 'us' :hug: :hug:

[Lee Bartholomew]

Its probably a question that Agony Smurf can answer better :worthy: but here's my attempt anyway

Not that i've ever been in this position myself but i'd suggest that, if you intend to dance with her, that you make sure you introduce your current g/f and your ex at the soonest opportunity, making sure you stand 'with' your g/f and introduce her proudly to your ex saying, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend... Cynthia. Cynthia meet Dorothy. :grin:

That makes the situation crystal clear for everyone. Your not hiding anything, your g/f feels secure and your ex doesn't feel ignored or awkward.;)

Then i'd say, you can have one or two dances but its important to look after the feelings of your current g/f more.

It might also help to reassure your g/f by saying something like, I much prefer 'our' dances but I'm going to have a couple of dances with Dorothy, just cos I want to avoid a bad atmosphere, which in turn will make it a more pleasant evening for 'us' :hug: :hug:

Very well put.

I know Cynthia and Dorothy. I would say ditch them both :D

[Missy D]

I hate bad atmospheres in dance so always dance with my exes - at times I can say with gritted teeth and ballroom smiles. :D

Both my exes are lovely dancers and I do enjoy dancing with them.

[straycat]

what are the standard rules ? :sick:

Not sure there are any 'standard' rules - just be mindful of people's feelings, is the best I can do there.

I've been in a position where an ex would glare with jealousy at anyone I danced with - I decided there was no winning that one, and switched to a different venue 'till things had cooled off. That's about the most extreme things have gotten though.

It can get fairly incestuous though - at the event where I met my current partner, one of her exes was there, as were two of mine.

One of the things to avoid is trying to 'prove' something (eg dancing loads more with your current partner simply because an ex is there) - that way lies madness. Don't worry or stress about it, say I.

Luckily, the exes of mine who are still active in the MJ world are people I count as friends - so on the rare occasions when we coincide at venues I'll always seek 'em out for dances. I don't see any problem with this.

[straycat]

What would be a bigger problem is if you turn up with your current girlfriend having still not split up with the last!!

Speaking from experience? :wink:

[Lee Bartholomew]

Speaking from experience? :wink:

Nope :whistle:.


No, can only handle one girl at a time.

I was however dating domeone Imet at MJ at the beginning of this year. She turned out to be abit nuts. Asking questions if I danced with someone more that once in one night dispite the fact they might have came and ask or that they were 40 years older than me???!!!

got to the point we split (other things too) and she went round her local venues with her mum (who also danced) telling people lies and spreading rumors. Luckily most people know they were not true but still ***???!!!!

[Trousers]

. . . . .She turned out to be abit nuts. . . . .

Ahhh the benefits of age.

Woodface they're all Nuts mate - Lovely but nuts!


:whistle:

[David Bailey]

I'm amazed that people get so worked up about this sort of thing.

Dance the way you would normally, with whom you would normally dance. If you don't enjoy dancing with someone, why should you dance more / less with them, just because of who they or you are dating? Dating someone doesn't improve their dancing - if the dance chemistry is the same, why change things?

That's it. Story, end of.

[stewart38]

It might also help to reassure your g/f by saying something like, I much prefer 'our' dances but I'm going to have a couple of dances with Dorothy, just cos I want to avoid a bad atmosphere, which in turn will make it a more pleasant evening for 'us' :hug: :hug:

What if Dorothy is a much better dancer then your current gf :whistle:

Note current gf has no issues with you dancing with exs (as said in dance world its a fact of life and she does herself dance with an ex but NEVER more then 1 dance)

Her issue is the number and i guess if you want to dance more then twice with an ex you have to look at why regardless of how good a dancer she is :blush:

[Lee Bartholomew]

Ahhh the benefits of age.

Woodface they're all Nuts mate - Lovely but nuts!


:whistle:

Thats OK then. Though it was something I was doing to them.

[stewart38]

I'm amazed that people get so worked up about this sort of thing.

Dance the way you would normally, with whom you would normally dance. If you don't enjoy dancing with someone, why should you dance more / less with them, just because of who they or you are dating? Dating someone doesn't improve their dancing - if the dance chemistry is the same, why change things?

That's it. Story, end of.

Cant agree if i saw a current gf dance 7 times in a row with an ex id want to know why :sad:

[David Bailey]

Cant agree if i saw a current gf dance 7 times in a row with an ex id want to know why :sad:
If I saw anyone dancing 7 times in a row with the same person I'd want to know why.

But are you saying you want to control who your partner dances with / watch her all the time? Shouldn't you be, you know, dancing with people or something?

Even if she's your girlfriend, does it matter who / when / how she dances with? Why get hung up on it?

[TheTramp]

Cant agree if i saw a current gf dance 7 times in a row with an ex id want to know why :sad:

Cos she likes dancing with him?

[straycat]

I'm amazed that people get so worked up about this sort of thing.

Dance the way you would normally, with whom you would normally dance. If you don't enjoy dancing with someone, why should you dance more / less with them, just because of who they or you are dating? Dating someone doesn't improve their dancing - if the dance chemistry is the same, why change things?

That's it. Story, end of.

Thus speaks the calm sane voice of logic and reason.

Unfortunately, very few of us lay claim to always being sane logical reasonable people. I spent a large chunk of my life believing myself to be exactly that, and have been much happier since I realised that (in a nutshell) I'm not.

When it comes to relationships, you can't expect people to always do the sensible thing. I've done some pretty daft things as a result of some relationship crisis or other... we all do (show me someone who claims otherwise, and I'll show you either a saint or someone who really doesn't know themselves very well)

On the dancefloor, I reckon we do lay ourselves a bit more open. Dancing, expressing ourselves to music... it's a very personal thing, and I think a lot of us have to lower our defenses somewhat to do it - which is why emotions can run quite high when dancing - why many people are especially sensitive to criticism while dancing, for example.

Combine those two highly emotive, vulnerable areas, and .... no. You're not always going to get sane, reasonable logical reactions.

Should let that rule us, no. It does help to acknowledge that though - that piece of knowledge has helped me a few times to understand, and thus temper, my own reaction to things, and thus appear to react calmly to things that I otherwise might not have.

Long long ramble - hope it makes sense...

[straycat]

Even if she's your girlfriend, does it matter who / when / how she dances with? Why get hung up on it?

Is this the first piece of evidence that the forum moderators are, in fact, a Borg collective? Has DavidJames been assimilated? :eek:


(OK - so I agree one shouldn't get hung up on it. But I can easily see why people do)

[Lory]

if i saw a current gf dance 7 times in a row with an ex id want to know why :sad:

Cos he's a better dancer than you? :whistle: (hey, it works both ways )

[TheTramp]

Cos he's a better dancer than you? :whistle: (hey, it works both ways )

I was going to say that. But I managed to hold back. How mean are you Lory?? :yum:

[Lory]

Is this the first piece of evidence that the forum moderators are, in fact, a Borg collective?

I don't even know what Borg collective means :confused: let alone be one :innocent:

[David Bailey]

Thus speaks the calm sane voice of logic and reason.
:D :eek:

OK, then - if you think you may have a problem with the dancing habits of your partner / ex-partner / pet hippo, or vice versa, then surely the best thing is to talk about this with the relevant people / mammals?

Or, you could kind of sit in the corner and glower all evening, or be glowered at, if that's more your preference.

[straycat]

I don't even know what Borg collective means :confused: let alone be one :innocent:

So they haven't got you yet? That's a relief. Be vigilant, and you may yet escape! :wink:

[straycat]

:D :eek:

OK, then - if you think you may have a problem with the dancing habits of your partner / ex-partner / pet hippo, or vice versa, then surely the best thing is to talk about this with the relevant people / mammals?

Being sane, logical and reasonable about it again...



Or, you could kind of sit in the corner and glower all evening, or be glowered at, if that's more your preference.

NOW you're getting it...

[stewart38]

If I saw anyone dancing 7 times in a row with the same person I'd want to know why.

But are you saying you want to control who your partner dances with / watch her all the time? Shouldn't you be, you know, dancing with people or something?

Even if she's your girlfriend, does it matter who / when / how she dances with? Why get hung up on it?

‘My friend’, danced with an ex 7 times in a row ( a wonderful dancer) and didn’t even think about what his current gf would think as far as he was aware she was having a good time elsewhere on the very large dance floor. In fact he tells me he probably danced with his ex 30 times over a weekender

He doesn’t count how many times she dances with people in fact as she isn’t a great dancer he doesn’t care who she dances with !

So when he gets big grief from gf who ‘counted the dances’ he had with ex he gets miffed

He can

Understand her feelings ( I can see 7 is OTT regardless of the ‘reasons’ some may not)

Tell her to sod off and stop being so insecure and dance 12 times with the ex

Or understand her feelings and if dances with ex keep it to 1 or 2 (which will miff him but so be it)

[Clueless]

Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.

[Gav]

‘My friend’, danced with an ex 7 times in a row ( a wonderful dancer) and didn’t even think about what his current gf would think as far as he was aware she was having a good time elsewhere on the very large dance floor. In fact he tells me he probably danced with his ex 30 times over a weekender

He doesn’t count how many times she dances with people in fact as she isn’t a great dancer he doesn’t care who she dances with !

So when he gets big grief from gf who ‘counted the dances’ he had with ex he gets miffed

He can

Understand her feelings ( I can see 7 is OTT regardless of the ‘reasons’ some may not)

Tell her to sod off and stop being so insecure and dance 12 times with the ex

Or understand her feelings and if dances with ex keep it to 1 or 2 (which will miff him but so be it)

Personally, in that situation I think that 7 times in a row was a little insensitive.

The only ex that I don't get on with is my ex-wife and she doesn't dance!

I get on perfectly well with my 2 dancing ex's, when 1 was still the current g/f, neither of us had a problem with me dancing with my ex, because we were open, honest and grown up about it.

[mikeyr]

Dance the way you would normally, with whom you would normally dance. If you don't enjoy dancing with someone, why should you dance more / less with them, just because of who they or you are dating? Dating someone doesn't improve their dancing - if the dance chemistry is the same, why change things?

If it were that simple, it's not...............:sad: :tears:

[straycat]

Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.

I was hoping I'd explained that.

In simple terms. People are human. Inconvenient, but true...

[Shodan]

Fortunately my latest EX lives over 100 miles away from me. So chance of bumping into her at dance events = virtually zero.

She was supposed to be at a dance party I was invited to in her area by friends of mine. So I got terribly drunk just in case. She never turned up though, but her mum did. I happily danced with her mum though, and my mates at the party thought I was so funny and fun to dance with whilst drunk. :rofl:

[fletch]

If it were that simple, it's not...............:sad: :tears:

:yeah:

Not that I have an ex in the dance world :tears: or been in this posotion but there must be lost of emotions running wild it just human nature :flower:

[Flat_Eric]

That makes the situation crystal clear for everyone. Your not hiding anything, your g/f feels secure and your ex doesn't feel ignored or awkward.;)

Lory, I can only applaud your social astuteness. My personal experience differs on the reinsurance part though. I'm ok for my girlfriend to have as many dances with whoever she pleases, ex or not, as long as she remembers, in her mind and behaviour, who she is coming back home with on that night. Cf. the Dance or Dancer thread (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?p=275768#post275768) where this was indirectly discussed.

This being said, the answer varies depending on the people. I've had people count the number of dancers they saw me have with someone and comment on it, but that is their way to define how important/significant a series of consecutive dances is. A philosophy to be shared or not...

[Shodan]

<snip!>
Woah! You sit in my car on the passenger side looking out the window.

http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/2628/imgp0657iv9.jpg

[Flat_Eric]

Oh ! That was you then?!!

[philsmove]

My own “rules”

Last dance with Current

(If I am on my own and the last dance is announced, I will always ask my partner if she want to dance with someone else)

Given that any ex will be still be someone rather special, it would a crime not to dance with them


But it best to avoid that “special track” with an ex

[Achaeco]

Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.

This is so true - BUT - When a woman gets an idea that something is wrong, does it matter that everything is ok???
My wife hates me dancing with my ex, only the one ex, the others dont bother her.

I dont know why. I get on fab with them.

[Shodan]

Oh ! That was you then?!!
Fraid so. :waycool:

[Clueless]

This is so true - BUT - When a woman gets an idea that something is wrong, does it matter that everything is ok???
My wife hates me dancing with my ex, only the one ex, the others dont bother her.

I dont know why. I get on fab with them.

Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex.

If she gets a bit upset about you dancing with your ex ask why and see if there is anything that you or your ex do when you dance together when compared to toher dancers. "You will never know if you dont ask"

[stewart38]

Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex maybe casue she sees a conntection that you have and feel threatened by it.

If she get a bit upset about it ask why and see if there is anything that you can do to reslove the situation, "You will never know if you dont ask"

Like getting back with the ex :whistle:

[Genie]

Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex.

If she gets a bit upset about you dancing with your ex ask why and see if there is anything that you or your ex do when you dance together when compared to toher dancers. "You will never know if you dont ask"

Agreed! Sometimes you don't realise you are doing it, but chemistry can show up in your dancing (sometimes even when there isn't any) that people watching pick up on.

Either that, or your wife feels threatened by this woman more than others. Something about this particular ex that makes her uncomfortable. I could be the way she dresses, acts with other partners, or even how your wife views the attractiveness of this particular ex. The "she is prettier/better" than me syndrome.

[sidney]

I have been in that situation with a ex, when we use to break up [which was often} I avoided going where he went but then when we did bump into each other he would ask me to dance and because he is such a good dancer i say yes and then I would get the best dances from him but after the last break up I said no more so I never dance with him anymore where another ex we always dance together and have a laugh and his girlfriend is fine.

[stewart38]

Either that, or your wife feels threatened by this woman more than others. Something about this particular ex that makes her uncomfortable. I could be the way she dresses, acts with other partners, or even how your wife views the attractiveness of this particular ex. The "she is prettier/better" than me syndrome.


Is she 18 yrs younger better looking and a better dancer ? :sick:

[straycat]

Is she 18 yrs younger better looking and a better dancer ? :sick:

(by the way, in case you were struggling at all here, the correct answer to the 2nd part of this question - and probably the 3rd, if you're at all unsure - is "no") ;)

just trying to be helpful

[Achaeco]

Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex.

If she gets a bit upset about you dancing with your ex ask why and see if there is anything that you or your ex do when you dance together when compared to toher dancers. "You will never know if you dont ask"


Ok. ive asked (wish i didnt)
Its all cos my wife thnks she still has a thing for me.
True or not, surly i married my wife for a reason.

[fletch]

This is so true - BUT - When a woman gets an idea that something is wrong, does it matter that everything is ok???
.


She carn't help it. its one of them things i'm afraid :flower:


surly i married my wife for a reason.

Keep telling her :flower:

Just remember her hormones have been all over the place for quite sometime now :(

So does this meen we get to dance now :clap:

give that little one a big :hug: from me.

[straycat]

True or not, surly i married my wife for a reason.

No need to be surly about it! You should be happy!!! :wink:

[Gav]

Ok. ive asked (wish i didnt)
Its all cos my wife thinks she still has a thing for me.
True or not, surely i married my wife for a reason.

Now that's a different kettle of fish.
I've never knowingly had this issue, but if I did, out of respect for the current love of my life, I would stop dancing with the ex, or at least cut it down to occasional dances.

[MartinHarper]

Either that, or your wife feels threatened by this woman more than others.

Or she's just trying to get you to make personal sacrifices as a way of testing your commitment to her.

[Tessalicious]

Its all cos my wife thnks she still has a thing for me.At least she doesn't think you still have a thing for her - this isn't an issue of her trust in you, it is a concern about the way the other woman could behave or could wrongly interpret an innocent dance.
Or she's just trying to get you to make personal sacrifices as a way of testing your commitment to her.You old cynic you, women aren't that manipulative, surely? Well, come to think of it, maybe you're right :rolleyes: .

[Clueless]

Ok. ive asked (wish i didnt)
Its all cos my wife thnks she still has a thing for me.
True or not, surly i married my wife for a reason.

Like has been said you are just going to have to assure your wife that you married her and not your ex maening that oyu like her and that no-one can take that away from you two.

At the end of the day who do you come home to? Who do you love? who do you kiss good night? Who did you decide that she was so special that you decided to spend the rest of your lives together?? Your wife try and make her see that :nice:

[Achaeco]

Ive got a headache now.
I do :love: her, i do tell her, i do often bring back :flower: for her, we do have cuddles, yes my ex is attractive, i try not to dance with her when my wife is around - although im told this makes things worse and yes fletch

[stewart38]

Ive got a headache now.
I do :love: her, i do tell her, i do often bring back :flower: for her, we do have cuddles, yes my ex is attractive, i try not to dance with her when my wife is around - although im told this makes things worse and yes fletch

If an ex is attractive it can make it worse

[Clueless]

Ive got a headache now.
I do :love: her, i do tell her, i do often bring back :flower: for her, we do have cuddles, yes my ex is attractive, i try not to dance with her when my wife is around - although im told this makes things worse and yes fletch

I think dancing with her when your wife isn't there would make things alot worse as you have something to hide so you are right not to dance with her.

With your ex it is a dance and that all it is and maybe like Genie said you wife s a bit insecure "What does she have that I dont?" syndrome you can only assure her that it is only a dance.

[ducasi]

If I were worried about my g/f dancing with an ex, because I though he "still has a thing for" her, it wouldn't be because I was insecure about my relationship with my g/f, it would be because I wouldn't want the ex to get special enjoyment out of the dance.

If that makes any sense...

[Tessalicious]

Are you sure you're not a girl, duc?

[ducasi]

Are you sure you're not a girl, duc?
Yes, very... Because I wouldn't be worried about my g/f dancing with ex's while I'm sure how she feels about me. :)

[Thea]

I would have to say that I think 7 dances in a row is excessive. The only time i have seen ppl do this is when they are training for a comp (or in a honeymoon stage).
i had a similar situation with a now-ex and a particular lady who i believe
strongly had the hots for him. Nothing he said could reassure me when I could see how much pleasure he got out of dancing with her and how transparent her feelings were. ffice:office" /><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comhttp://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/<o:p></o:p>
He asked her if she was attracted to him and she said no but as far as im concerned that’s a wee bit unbelievable as she ran to him when he entered the room, was constantly touching him off the dance floor, I had had several other ppl remark to me on her behaviour, she would sit so close to him her boobs brushed up against him and her eyes constantly searched him out in the room. <o:p></o:p>
As far as he was concerned they were just friends so I should just deal with it but her behaviour threatened me and his continuing to spend a lot of time in her company made me feel disrespected and our relationship suffered.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
I don’t think it matters if the person in question is an ex or just someone who your current partner is threatened by, if you care about your current partner you should respect their feelings. If you really want to dance with the ex, maybe because you are still good friends or you dance well or for whatever reason, then do, but stick to one or two dances and then re-establish with your current partner that it is them that you want to be with. A lot of jealously has to do with insecurity.

only dancing with the ex when the current partner isnt around also suggests that your dancing with them is something you have to do on the sly and therefore doesnt have honest intentions

[stewart38]

she ran to him when he entered the room, was constantly touching him off the dance floor, I had had several other ppl remark to me on her behaviour, she would sit so close to him her boobs brushed up against him and her eyes constantly searched him out in the room.



Have you ever written steamy novels, part 2 please , what would she do when he was near the exit :yum:

[Thea]

"Have you ever written steamy novels" (havent figured out how to do that quoting thing yet)

noooooooo what sort of sordid past do you think i have? :blush:

i keep my sauciness strictly on the dance floor :whistle: (at least when it comes to other gal's guys :wink: )

[straycat]

I would have to say that I think 7 dances in a row is excessive.

I suppose... but I have one ex who I'd happily have 7 dances in a row with, not for any attraction reasons, but because a) she's a friend, and b) she's an incredibly good dancer by anyone's standards, who I very rarely get to dance with these days.

I, my partner, and said person are all secure enough with ourselves and our relationships not to have a problem with this. If that was not the case (as is, alas, all too common), then yes - insecurities would need addressing before doing something that'll make things worse. One needs to get one's priorities straight.

[dance cat]

I suppose... but I have one ex who I'd happily have 7 dances in a row with, not for any attraction reasons, but because a) she's a friend, and b) she's an incredibly good dancer by anyone's standards, who I very rarely get to dance with these days.

I, my partner, and said person are all secure enough with ourselves and our relationships not to have a problem with this. If that was not the case (as is, alas, all too common), then yes - insecurities would need addressing before doing something that'll make things worse. One needs to get one's priorities straight.

I think the new partner would have to be verysecure for seven dances in a row not to be a problem. I agree with what I think you're saying- it's really important to be adult in these situations and deal with any issues from all parties. However that's not always easy to do and for me it's the complete lack of any consistency in dealing with an ex that causes me the most problems.

[Clueless]

Sometimes ex's who are friends can sometimes cross over the line of friends and 'special friends', especially if you both still like each other and you went out but it didnt work.

I have smudged that line more than once :( and its not a fact I am proud of

[robd]

This is proving to be an interesting thread and I have to give a big :yeah: to lots of what Straycat has said (too lazy to quote). There is no standard method of handling the situation. You can take a guess at how you might handle the situation but until it actually happens you don't really know. With three variables in play - you, current partner and ex plus variables within that relating to extent of feelings still existing for ex there are all kinds of directions in which it can go.

Personally speaking, If I still had feelings for an ex (i.e if I had not wanted the relationship to end but they had) than I think I would refuse any requests for a dance from that person (no matter how fabulous a dancer I believe them to be) because I think it would be impossible to separate my feelings for that person from the dance experience (which is contrary to the beliefs of some contributors to the thread). If I no longer had those feelings then I don't see it as a problem though you would need to be aware of sensitivites of the current partner if you were all in the same location.

The incestuous nature of the dance scene (as someone phrased it earlier in the thread) is quite novel for me as I have never tended to cross the path of my partner's exes or they I before I started dancing. I do find it difficult from time to time but you need to have trust in your partner or the relationship is not going to be one that holds much promise for the longer term anyway.

[Clueless]

As for the dancing with the ex topic how on this holy earth do you get over an ex when you dance with her and get on with her really well?

[straycat]

As for the dancing with the ex topic how on this holy earth do you get over an ex when you dance with her and get on with her really well?

Based on personal experience, I can give a few answers - here's two possibles:

1) very easily
2) with great difficulty

In other words: everyone's different. Every relationship is different. Some end very naturally, others ... don't. Although I don't think (in my case) continuing to dance with an ex has ever made it any more or less hard to get over the relationship... take away the dancing, and the problem remains the same. What the dancing might do is remind you that the issue is still there, and yes - that can be painful.

[stewart38]

Based on personal experience, I can give a few answers - here's two possibles:

1) very easily
2) with great difficulty

In other words: everyone's different. Every relationship is different. Some end very naturally, others ... don't. Although I don't think (in my case) continuing to dance with an ex has ever made it any more or less hard to get over the relationship... take away the dancing, and the problem remains the same. What the dancing might do is remind you that the issue is still there, and yes - that can be painful.

Everyone is different i guess

Sometimes in the 'other world' it wouldn't be usual to take hold of the hand of an ex and dance with her

Time i think resloves a lot of the issues with that

Its a very interesting subject

[SeriouslyAddicted]

Just had an interersting example of this involving some friends. T think in a ceroc environment where everyone knows where they stand it isn't a problem but the problem arises where a dance group goes out socially. Alcohol, late nights and ex's = bad news in that situation. Had the ex's not had Ceroc in common it is likely that they wouldn't still see each other let alone be in the same social group.

[Double Trouble]

I'll never dance with my ex.

[Achaeco]

I'll never dance with my ex

So cute, True love.:whistle:

[Clueless]

Just had an interersting example of this involving some friends. T think in a ceroc environment where everyone knows where they stand it isn't a problem but the problem arises where a dance group goes out socially. Alcohol, late nights and ex's = bad news in that situation. Had the ex's not had Ceroc in common it is likely that they wouldn't still see each other let alone be in the same social group.

Yeah though We were both out and she was drunk I was stone cold sober. I asked for a dance and she turned me down flat, Thought Earlier on in the night she introduce me as her dance partner. She them claimed that it was because she said it was because she felt attached to me!

So I was standing round like a spare body and I asked are we going to dance or Should I go? and she said go! Thought when called her next day she claimed she needed time, yet it was her that invited me out and introduced me as her dance partner, Anyone else find that weird?

[straycat]

partner, Anyone else find that weird?

To pre-empt inevitable responses to this response (mine, not yours), I'll admit it would probably be considered a very "male thing to do" to point you at this (http://cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11363)thread :devil: