The DavidJames weekender FAQ

[David Bailey]

Inspired by the wonderful posts on the Camber thread, I thought I'd post this, to inform all you lovely weekender-goers about what to expect. Don't thank me, it's a public service.


Q: Do you need a special invitation to come to the forumite gatherings?
A: Yes, sorry, you do need a pass. And to get it, you need a full background check done by the CRB (Ceroc Records Bureau), which involves a six-week wait, £93 fee, and at least one personal interview with the Gathering Gods. Don't even try to enter without a pass.

Q: I'm a single woman, is it too late to book my space?
A: Absolutely not - never too late to book, there's always plenty of spaces free for extra women, and the organisers are happy to be called at the last minute to provide these. Don't worry.

Q: What is the accommodation like?
It's great - luxurious, fully-fitted, fully-heated, they treat you like royalty. 5-star hotel level, you can even nick the free towels they provide if you want.

Q: Should I bring spare clothes for dancing?
Nah, you'll be fine as you are - a couple of T-shirts should see most people through the weekend. The free deodorant provided in the luxurious chalets (as described above) will keep you fresh.

Q: How long do people stay up dancing?
Everyone leaves around midnight - at least, all the best dancers do. The poor dancers usually hang around till a bit later - sometimes even to 2am! - but that's just because they need all that extra practice.

Q: Talking of these good dancers, where do they all hang out?
A: Typically, the best dancers are always in the Main Room - the big one, with the popular music. That's why there are so many people there - they all want to be where the good dancers are. The ones who need practice typically stick in places like the Blues Room.

Q: Hmmm, is it easy for women to get dances though?
A: Absolutely. In fact, all women usually have to refuse the queues of men wanting to dance with them. It's best if you play hard-to-get - sit in a corner, and look uninterested. Maybe refuse the first few men who ask you, to be on the safe side.


I'll add more as I think of them...

[Jamie]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[fletch]

Now I know you have to much time on your hands DJ :D

its going to be lonely, with no on to play with this weekend :na:



Very funny never the less :worthy:

[David Bailey]

A few more:

Q: How much luggage shall I bring?
A: Well, obviously, the luxury chalets mean you won't need much, but feel free to bring anything you want. The on-site porters are more than happy to transport and suitcases, no matter how heavy, the 20ft or so from your car to your chalet.

Q: 20ft?
A: Yes, each chalet has its own parking bay, just outside, so you don't need to worry about parking. The more cars the better, in fact.

Q: What are these "Weekender Buddies" I've heard of?
A: These are kind public-spirited dancers, who act as guides to other dancers who are lost, escorting them to their (luxury) chalets after dancing. That's why you see them coming out from someone else's chalet. They may stop over for a cup of cocoa as well, which is why sometimes they're quite a long time in the other person's chalet, or leave at 5am.

Q: So no-one does, err, anything untoward then?
A: Absolutely not. You filthy-minded person, how dare you imply anything of the sort. Everyone behaves perfectly respectably. Hmmpph.

[David Bailey]

A few more...

Q: What's the best way to get there?
A: Always travel alone. Car sharing is frowned upon, weekender organisers much prefer independent free thinkers.

Q: Do I need to keep my weekend pass?
A: No, forget the cards sent in advance, they are totally unnecessary and the cute security guards never ask to see them. But don't forget the afore-mentioned Forum Gathering Pass, that's important.

Q: Does it get cold?
A: No, never - luxury chalets, remember - free heating plus well-insulated. Plus, the South Coast is always warm, even in November.

Q: Power points?
A: Lots of power points in apartments, close to mirrors so easy use of hair dryers, curlers, etc.

Q: What about asking for second dances?
If anyone asks you for a second dance, it’s weekend speak for ‘you’ve pulled, here’s my chalet number’. Although, of course, no-one ever does, because no-one gets up to anything untoward. But whatever you do, don't ask for a second dance.

Q: Weekender Speak - "Water"?
Water is a euphemism, so if anyone mentions water they mean ‘you’ve pulled, here’s my chalet number’. Again, don't ask anyone to "Get me some water, please".

Q: What about these dance cards?
A: Advanced dancers are issued with dance cards. Average dancers make their own dance cards. Appalling dancers never see dance cards

[Gentabout]

This has made me want to go this weekend even more than i had, thanks David, seems like i will have a very luxurious weekend.

Gent

[Trouble]

This has made me want to go this weekend even more than i had, thanks David, seems like i will have a very luxurious weekend.

Gent

:yeah:

DJ - you need to correct a couple of points......

Point 180.... Dont let miserable buggers ruin ya fun.
Point 181.... Only dance with happy people
point 182... WERE GONNA MISS YA.
XXXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXX :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:

[stewart38]

A few more...


Q: What about asking for second dances?
If anyone asks you for a second dance, it’s weekend speak for ‘you’ve pulled, here’s my chalet number’.



My chalet number is 345 in case people dont want a 2nd dance with me :sad:

I think you should add everyone agrees with everyone that its the Seagulls that make a good weekender :grin:

[Trouble]

My chalet number is 345 in case people dont want a 2nd dance with me :sad:

I think you should add everyone agrees with everyone that its the Seagulls that make a good weekender :grin:

thats the only reason i go :flower:

[Gav]

My chalet number is 345 in case people dont want a 2nd dance with me :sad:



thats the only reason i go :flower:

Wow, Stewart38. Trouble didn't even want the first dance! :whistle:

[Trouble]

Wow, Stewart38. Trouble didn't even want the first dance! :whistle:

Gav

dont start...... :flower:

or i might be forced to retaliate. :D

[stewart38]

thats the only reason i go :flower:

No worries , im doing tickets on a ad hoc basis :flower:

[Trouble]

No worries , im doing tickets on a ad hoc basis :flower:

i meant for the seagulls by the way :D :D

[under par]

FRANCK!! FRANCK....can we give DJ another forum name please.


David_I_have_far_far_too_much_time_on_my _hands_James

[El Salsero Gringo]

FRANCK!! FRANCK....can we give DJ another forum name please.


David_I_have_far_far_too_much_time_on_my _hands_JamesEr, I think it should be pointed out that DJ is the one who's *not* taking three days out of his life to go to a weekender.

[Cruella]

Er, I think it should be pointed out that DJ is the one who's *not* taking three days out of his life to go to a weekender.
"It's life Jim, but not as we know it"

[under par]

Er, I think it should be pointed out that DJ is the one who's *not* taking three days out of his life to go to a weekender.

He hasn't got time in his life for a weekend off of the forum?:sad: :sad: :sad: and go dancing instead:clap: :whistle:

ps I'm at work all weekend but Mrs Par will be at Camber

[fletch]

He hasn't got time in his life for a weekend off of the forum?:sad: :sad: :sad: and go dancing instead:clap: :whistle:

ps I'm at work all weekend but Mrs Par will be at Camber


I was just trying to muster up the words without been to sarcy :rolleyes:

I'll look after Sharon,:flower: not that she need it :rolleyes: if you trust me :na:

You will be missed UP :tears:



:hug:

[David Bailey]

Q: I can't make it to [the next weekender] - will I miss anything?
A: Yes. Each weekender is a unique and priceless event, which once gone can never be recovered. Everyone should go to every one, and if you don't, you should feel miserable and left-out the whole time. Don't let anyone tell you "there's another one next week" - those people are just Evil Monsters.

Q: Are the classes any good?
A: Of course! Much better than any other classes, anywhere. The 400-to-1 ratio and the 2ft high stages are ideal teaching environments. And, as numbers are typically even, you don't need to bring a partner (those couples with fixed partners are just the ones who need the most practice, you should pity them).

[stewart38]

Im concerned we dont have a 'the aftermarth thread yet ??'

I thought the cabaret was mixed but Franco given bottle water out as you entered the site was a nice original touch but to offer a full car clean and wax as you left was again raising the bar (my legs don’t need waxing)

[David Franklin]

Q: Are the classes any good?
A: Of course! Much better than any other classes, anywhere. The 400-to-1 ratio and the 2ft high stages are ideal teaching environments. And, as numbers are typically even, you don't need to bring a partner (those couples with fixed partners are just the ones who need the most practice, you should pity them).Q: With so many classes, how many should I try to go to? I don't want to wear myself out!
A: All of them! Especially the 9am classes - those are always the most popular - in fact I'd advise getting there a bit earlier, (say at 7am to be sure) if you want to get a place. It's well worth it though, as it's where all the hard core dancers will be, filling their dance cards for the evening.

Anyhow, it's a fallacy to think going to classes will wear you out - they're a good way of getting your body ready for the evening. This is especially true if you make sure you do all the high energy classes and all the drops and aerials classes. Just make sure you don't overtire yourself by warming up before the aerials.

Special tip: If you're an experienced Tango dancer, make sure you go to every tango workshop - seeing the teachers alternate between a tiny stage and teaching on the floor surrounded by 500 people (most of whom think a barrida is someone who makes expresso) will bring a whole new perspective to your learning. The teachers are always so charming and positive about us MJ dancers as well!

[El Salsero Gringo]

He hasn't got time in his life for a weekend off of the forum?:sad: :sad: :sad: and go dancing instead:clap: :whistle:

ps I'm at work all weekend but Mrs Par will be at CamberWhat's your handicap down to by now, UP? :yum:

[tiger]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[David Bailey]

Q: Given all the traditional grief and abuse and general depression affecting people post-weekender, why do they go on them?
A: Are you kidding? The post-weekender post-mortems and discussions of bad behaviour are the fun parts!

[tiger]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :yeah:

[David Bailey]

They just keep on coming...

Q: How will I know how long to wait for the next weekender?
A: Everyone enjoys be the obligatory exciting daily countdown, starting approximately 18 months in advance. Join the race to be the first to start the countdown. And don't forget to use the biggest font imaginable, in case people miss it.

Q: How can I apologise to the people I didn’t have a dance with?
A: Public on line apologies are encouraged, the longer and more sycophantic the better. Be careful not to forget anyone or they will be upset.

Q: How can I thank the people I did enjoy dancing with?
Public on line praise is encouraged, the longer and the more complimentary the better. Be careful not to forget anyone or they will be upset.

[tiger]

:rofl: :rofl: :yeah: :rofl: :rofl:

[Yogi_Bear]

Q: I want to start a thread here about the next weekender, when is it acceptable to start one?
A: You will have to wait at least three months till after it's finished, in case you confuse people by committing your thoughts on an event that may not have happened, be in progress, or even just finished.

Q: I've heard all sorts of things about the blues room at Southport, can they really all be true?
A: Most definitely not! The music is always rubbishy wishy-washy namby-pamby stuff and totally impossible to dance to. You are likely to trip over on the verandah, run into the railings or collide with the bar. Whatever you do, stick to the main hall where at least the music will be modern chart music and the floor will be heaving. The blues room will be dead anyway and all the partners worth dancing with will have gone back to their chalets by midnight.

Q: Is the beach at Camber worth a visit?
A: No way. You have to bargain with the security guys to escape from the perimeter, walk half a mile down a track and climb a mountainous sand dune to get there.....and the beach is nothing to write home about either. Stay in the main room and dance all day long so you can look forward to an early night.

[Yogi_Bear]

Q: Is it worth finding a fixed partner for workshops?
A: Are you crazy? Do you really want to be stuck with the same person for a whole hour? The rotation systems never fail to work efficiently, the gender balance is invariably equal, and you won't get stuck behind a pillar or get a million megawatt light shining in your eyes all the time either. And think of all the exciting partners you could be learning the routines with. Fixed partners are for married couples only and you may well be asked to provide a marriage certificate if you look shifty or the slightest bit unrelated.