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Trouble
17th-October-2006, 03:12 PM
I had an experience last night that i felt i should share in the hope that somebody might be able to guide me to a more beneficial ending.

i danced with a guy who suffered from the most awful body odour that i actually had to stop the dance. I could actually feel it penetrating the arm of my clothing while i was dancing. Under normal circumstances i would finish the dance and avoid dancing with him again but i found it so insulting that he could actually turn up smelling the way he did that i told him.

I said to him " you do realise you absolutely stink of BO !! " he said " do I" all innocently and surprised but awkward at the same time. " i finished off by saying " yes you do".

he dissapeared from the hall about 2 mins later and everybody was talking about him,,, you know the normal thing, he stank, dont dance with him, watch out for the bloke that has "Hummmm" coming out of his shirt...

Is there a nicer way of doing this or is it better cruel to be kind.

Im a nice person really. :flower:

Gav
17th-October-2006, 03:22 PM
OK, you're stupid. :devil:

It wasn't one of those awful moments where you raise your voice to be heard above the music, just as the music stops was it? Last time it happened to me my shouting about blow up dolls was taken completly out of context! :innocent:

You could possibly have been a bit gentler, but what the hell. I wouldn't dream of going dancing without having a shower first. If I was running late, I'd have a shower and be late to dancing. It's about showing a bit of consideration for your fellow dancers. If he couldn't make sure he was clean, why should you spare his feelings?

It could be a medical problem of course, but even then there are solutions and he could've started by explaining it.

I sweat a lot when I'm dancing, but I've seen 1 poor guy that could sweat for England in the next world sweating championships. But he brings a bag full of shirts and deoderant with him and sorts himself out every other song.

straycat
17th-October-2006, 03:23 PM
I don't think there is a nice way of doing this, no :(

Well done for doing it all, by the way. Better that he knows, than that he be left not understanding why people have a negative reaction to him.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 03:26 PM
Exactly... i did feel bad for him though, i could have been gentler but i was so mad,, he really did pong. it wasn't a fresh sweat,, im sweaty when i dance, well actually my head sweats and sort of makes me look like im sweating as it falls down my chest and back (thats a whole other story) :whistle: but at least its fresh sweat.....if there is such a thing... i dont stink.
:flower:
I hope he comes back. He was an ok dancer too.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 03:27 PM
OK, you're stupid. :devil:



and ha bloody ha ha

MartinHarper
17th-October-2006, 03:34 PM
i found it so insulting that he could actually turn up smelling the way he did that i told him.

Not really insulting, because he doesn't know, because people can't smell their own stink.


I said to him " you do realise you absolutely stink of BO !! " he said " do I" all innocently and surprised but awkward at the same time. " i finished off by saying " yes you do".

...

Is there a nicer way of doing this or is it better cruel to be kind?

Seems like you did great. Keep it up.

straycat
17th-October-2006, 03:35 PM
I wouldn't worry. We all need to be able to take hard truths like that... Well - embarrassing truths, anyway.

I've once had a conversation with a dancer who was justifying the fact that he never washed his hair (aka telling me that nice one about how if you never wash your hair, eventually the natural oils will keep it perfectly clean, and you don't need to wash it.) I thought it was a great opportunity to gently point out that it didn't seem to stop his hair stinking to high heaven :what:

Didn't stop him dancing. (nor did it make him wash his hair, but at least I said it :whistle:)

fletch
17th-October-2006, 03:35 PM
I had an experience last night that i felt i should share in the hope that somebody might be able to guide me to a more beneficial ending.

i danced with a guy who suffered from the most awful body odour that i actually had to stop the dance. I could actually feel it penetrating the arm of my clothing while i was dancing. Under normal circumstances i would finish the dance and avoid dancing with him again but i found it so insulting that he could actually turn up smelling the way he did that i told him.

I said to him " you do realise you absolutely stink of BO !! " he said " do I" all innocently and surprised but awkward at the same time. " i finished off by saying " yes you do".

he dissapeared from the hall about 2 mins later and everybody was talking about him,,, you know the normal thing, he stank, dont dance with him, watch out for the bloke that has "Hummmm" coming out of his shirt...

Is there a nicer way of doing this or is it better cruel to be kind.

Im a nice person really. :flower:

It seem a little harsh to put it like that.:eek:

I always get these kind of jobs because my friends know I will say something,:rolleyes: but and that's a big but, I always try to do it in a way that won't hurt, of cause it hurts, just try to save there face a little.:flower:

Having said that there is a guy who I had told repeatedly about his sweat, he didn't smell, he was just like he had jumped in a pool, he asked me to dance and I said yes, shall I weight while you change your shirt,:what: your not making my new dress wet.:blush: he was OK about it,:nice: I have also dances with him and told him after the dance to freshen up before you ask someone else.:sick:

People think I change my clothes a lot, I probably do:grin: but I get sweaty I don't like it when I dance with a wet man, i'm sure they don't like it.:sick:


From time to time I get bad breath and I rely on my close friends to tell me, it hurts :tears: but better than breathing on people and its horrid.:sick:



.

Beowulf
17th-October-2006, 03:45 PM
II said to him " you do realise you absolutely stink of BO !! " he said " do I" all innocently and surprised but awkward at the same time. " i finished off by saying " yes you do".

:eek: well I'd rather be told as there's no way I'd know myself (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosmia) but I think you could have been a little more tactful. Break it to him a little more gently perhaps.

If someone told me "Gawd you stink..!" I'd probably die of shame and never come back. :sick:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 03:50 PM
:
If someone told me "Gawd you stink..!" I'd probably die of shame and never come back. :sick:


I agree :yeah:


I can be a little out spoken at times :rolleyes: but I allway try and say what I need to without hurting :hug:



.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 03:57 PM
:eek: well I'd rather be told as there's no way I'd know myself (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosmia) but I think you could have been a little more tactful. Break it to him a little more gently perhaps.

If someone told me "Gawd you stink..!" I'd probably die of shame and never come back. :sick:

yes your right, it was a bit harsh but you have to understand,,, the rats were ashamed of him....in fact the fleas on the rats were bailing..... it was awful.

i will try to be more gentle next time. really i am a nice person... (keep putting that Michele,, more people will beleive it)......NO I REALLY AM A NICE PERSON.... :flower: :flower:

xx

straycat
17th-October-2006, 04:02 PM
If someone told me "Gawd you stink..!" I'd probably die of shame and never come back. :sick:

Myself, I'd die of shame, dive for the nearest deoderant (or leave if the situation was beyond remedy) - but I'd be back the next week. You have to remember that in six months time, the only person who's going to clearly remember the incident is you. Even two weeks later, it'll hardly be fresh in anyone's mind. Except yours - if you keep dwelling on it.

Cruella
17th-October-2006, 04:08 PM
Sorry, but i think you were far too harsh!! I told someone recently that they had this problem, it took me months before i was brave enough to say it to them though, as i didn't want to hurt their feelings. They were completely unaware of the problem and took my comment graciously.
If he looked surprised and awkward then i guess it was news to him! I can't understand why you thought it was an insult, i'm sure he didn't purposely decide to come out smelling of B.O and wipe it on you!
Did he not come back after you had said it to him? If not, it's hardly surprising, the poor guy was probably extremely embarrassed.
I'm not saying you shouldn't make him aware of his problem (God forbid, i'd hope someone would tell me, preferably a friend). It could have been done with a little more tact and kindness though.

Gav
17th-October-2006, 04:21 PM
Not really insulting, because he doesn't know, because people can't smell their own stink.


No? Must just be me then! :sick:

Once I did have to excuse myself at the end of a move in a beginners class and rush to the gents with a towel and some deoderant.
I thought to myself "phew, she whiffs a bit", then the next lady in the rotation "bloody hell, 2 of them", by the 3rd smelly lady I was starting to notice a constant in the equation... ME! :rofl:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 04:25 PM
(God forbid, i'd hope someone would tell me, preferably a friend). It could have been done with a little more tact and kindness though.


Di ,I would tell you, but only in private and with loads of tact :flower:

Some how I carn't see that happening, we seem to have the same body clock and change about the same time, ho and Lory :really:

:D

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 04:27 PM
ive never understood how people dont realise they smell...it does not make sense to me, im sure its just there way of getting out of a really embarassing moment but saying OH REALLY, I DIDN'T REALISE.. or something like that...

i do agree that it was a little harsh and i could have been gentler but i dont think there is ever an easy way or nice way to tell someone that information. If i knew him it would have been done that way but as he was a stranger to me i found it easier to tell him in the way i did.

I found it insulting that he could put us women through that god awful pong. :mad:

imagine what his underpants must be like. eeeeouuuu :D

Cruella
17th-October-2006, 04:34 PM
ive never understood how people dont realise they smell...it does not make sense to me, im sure its just there way of getting out of a really embarassing moment but saying OH REALLY, I DIDN'T REALISE.. or something like that...
I tell you what if we meet, i'll let you know how your body odour is and see if it tallies up with your perception of how you smell.

i do agree that it was a little harsh and i could have been gentler but i dont think there is ever an easy way or nice way to tell someone that information. If i knew him it would have been done that way but as he was a stranger to me i found it easier to tell him in the way i did.
Sorry, but I have a problem with rudeness whether it is to a stranger or a friend. :what:

I found it insulting that he could put us women through that god awful pong. :mad:
As i said before, i'm guessing he didn't realise.

imagine what his underpants must be like. eeeeouuuu :D
:eek: You're really digging well, do you need a bigger spade?

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 04:38 PM
I tell you what if we meet, i'll let you know how your body odour is and see if it tallies up with your perception of how you smell.

?

if i didn't know any better i would say your looking for a row. I was asking how would it be best to do this to avoid being rude to somebody as i was the night before and that i felt bad.

If i want a body odour test, i'll find you and you can have a good old sniff of my pitt and let me know... thanks for the offer.

:flower:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 04:40 PM
ive never understood how people dont realise they smell...it does not make sense to me, im sure its just there way of getting out of a really embarassing moment but saying OH REALLY, I DIDN'T REALISE.. or something like that...

i do agree that it was a little harsh and i could have been gentler but i dont think there is ever an easy way or nice way to tell someone that information. If i knew him it would have been done that way but as he was a stranger to me i found it easier to tell him in the way i did.

I found it insulting that he could put us women through that god awful pong. :mad:

imagine what his underpants must be like. eeeeouuuu :D

His responce was proberbly the first thing that came into his head :(

Sorry trouble, but just because this man was a stranger, shouldn't make you treat him differently from somone you know :sad: mutual respect,:flower: treat people the way you would like to be treated,:what: you may say that because he smelt you had the right to say what you did, in the way that you did,:rolleyes: but just think.......what if he really didn't know ......or he does have a problem ..:confused: . say what you need to....but if you are nice you would be kind :(



.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 04:42 PM
His responce was proberbly the first thing that came into his head :(

Sorry trouble, but just because this man was a stranger, shouldn't make you treat him differently from somone you know :sad: mutual respect,:flower: treat people the way you would like to be treated,:what: you may say that because he smelt you had the right to say what you did, in the way that you did,:rolleyes: but just think.......what if he really didn't know ......or he does have a problem ..:confused: . say what you need to....but if you are nice you would be kind :(



.

yeah i know, as i said, i will try to be kinder if i have to do it again. not sure how to as i find it embarassing to tell somebody too... but i will try. I told you, im a nice person. :flower:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 04:49 PM
if i didn't know any better i would say your looking for a row. I was asking how would it be best to do this to avoid being rude to somebody as i was the night before and that i felt bad.

If i want a body odour test, i'll find you and you can have a good old sniff of my pitt and let me know... thanks for the offer.

:flower:

looks like me and crewella pushed our post buttons at the same time :eek:

with the same thought in mind :rolleyes:


Not so nice when its amed at you is it trouble :rolleyes:

you were asking for reassurance that the way you had handled it was ok ......and in my opinion its was handled badly :sad:

But don't worry i'm not offering to sniff you, I don't intend on getting that close :na:




.

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 04:49 PM
Im a nice person really. :flower:

Are you trying to convince us or yourself? :mad:



You could possibly have been a bit gentler
:yeah: did you leave Watson at home Gav?


It seem a little harsh to put it like that.:eek:


:yeah: a little harsh?



If someone told me "Gawd you stink..!" I'd probably die of shame and never come back. :sick:

Indeed, how to win friends and influence people.


but i think you were far too harsh!!
Absolutely


I tell you what if we meet, i'll let you know how your body odour is and see if it tallies up with your perception of how you smell.:

I suggest you do


I have a problem with rudeness whether it is to a stranger or a friend. :what:

And me. IMHO Trouble I think what you did was bang out of order, you have shown that you are completely insensitive to anyone else's feelings.

A quiet word and different terminolgy is all it would've taken.

Cruella
17th-October-2006, 04:50 PM
if i didn't know any better i would say your looking for a row.
Little quiet me! I'd never do such a thing! :innocent:

I was asking how would it be best to do this to avoid being rude to somebody as i was the night before and that i felt bad.
Well how about not joining in with the 'everybody talking about him' afterwards! You could have either asked one of his friends to tell him or perhaps said something along the lines of ' I'm really sorry to say this and I'm sure you didn't realise, but your shirt is really wet and smells a bit.' I think that sounds nicer than 'You absolutely stink!!'

thanks for the offer.

No problem, anything to help a fellow forumite!

stewart38
17th-October-2006, 05:00 PM
Interesting I told a friend (male !) of mine after years of knowing he smelt , I wasn’t dating him so didn’t matter that he stank, im sorry he did

This one hot after noon after going on the tube ,he was wearing a thick jacket ! I just had to say

He didn’t know, he thank me and said he never use deodorant as it ‘stings’

While on a roll I also told him to wash his jacket (he hadn’t in years) it smelt

How you phrase it is important of course :whistle:

straycat
17th-October-2006, 05:09 PM
He didn’t know, he thank me and said he never use deodorant as it ‘stings’

Mmm. I get that. According to my doctor, it's because I have sensitive skin, and deoderants can break down the natural oils which protect the skin... resulting in irritation - which can get pretty bad. Easily cured though.

Some deoderants are great for avoiding that (I use a Nivea one nowadays, and it's no longer a problem)

MartinHarper
17th-October-2006, 05:18 PM
I think what you did was bang out of order, you have shown that you are completely insensitive to anyone else's feelings.

I'd rather have folks behaving like trouble than like the other folks in the room at the time:


everybody was talking about him,,, you know the normal thing, he stank, dont dance with him, watch out for the bloke that has "Hummmm" coming out of his shirt...

Honesty beats sensitivity. Changing the world beats complaining about it.

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 05:23 PM
I'd rather have folks behaving like trouble than like the other folks in the room at the time:

Meaning?


Honesty beats sensitivity. Changing the world beats complaining about it.

I agree in some situations. With Friends you can be honest and blunt but with strangers more tact and sensitivity is needed.

Cruella
17th-October-2006, 05:26 PM
Honesty beats sensitivity.

Yes, but why can't you have both?
Maybe i'm mistaken, but it came across to me that after she'd said something to him, she may have been part of the talking about him behind his back!
It would be nice if Trouble could put me right about this fact.

straycat
17th-October-2006, 05:27 PM
Honesty beats sensitivity. Changing the world beats complaining about it.

In this case, :yeah:

Everyone here who has never been overly blunt and offended someone, well and good. Everyone else.... where do you get off being so judgmental on this???? :angry:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 05:31 PM
I'd rather have folks behaving like trouble than like the other folks in the room at the time:



Honesty beats sensitivity. Changing the world beats complaining about it.

blimey guys,, didn't realise we were all so aggressive when certain buttons pushed, been in a meeting and come back to world war 3......honestly,,, i do not hurt peoples feelings on purpose, i did feel bad after i had told this guy but i dont regret telling him as he will ensure it doesn't happen again hopefully.

thanks Martin for your support.. i also feel that honestly is the best policy,,...

and honestly, i feel that to attack a fellow forumite who is asking for advice on what should have been done instead of what i did... is completely ridiculous. nice forum,,, glad i joined... look forward to meeting you all.

fletch
17th-October-2006, 05:35 PM
I'd rather have folks behaving like trouble than like the other folks in the room at the time:






So Martin do you think she wasn't acting like the rest in the room :confused:

I carn't belive for one moment she didn't tell everyone what she had done and how she had done it, :rolleyes: i'm sure she was quite proud of herself at the time :mad:

I think the comments she made to Crewella makes it apparent why she gave herself the name she did. :rolleyes:


.

Beowulf
17th-October-2006, 05:37 PM
Interesting I told a friend (male !) of mine after years of knowing he smelt , I wasn’t dating him so didn’t matter that he stank, im sorry he did

This one hot after noon after going on the tube ,he was wearing a thick jacket ! I just had to say

He didn’t know, he thank me and said he never use deodorant as it ‘stings’

While on a roll I also told him to wash his jacket (he hadn’t in years) it smelt

How you phrase it is important of course :whistle:


:yeah:

Because of my condition I HAVE to rely on people telling me. So my friends all know if I'm a little pongy (for whatever reason) they let me know. But there are ways of telling me without making me feel microscopically small.

I remember when out on a forest walk .. a path frequented by horses.. I unknowingly trod in something. was a HOT summers day and I was later walking back into town when I bumped into a friend. She looked "uncomforable" looking around her , at her feet , in the gutter etc. Eventually she asked "Pete have you trod in something?" to which I replied "No I don't thi... oh! erm yes I have!" Her tact made me quite comfortably relieved she could have said nothing leaving me to go shopping in town. Or she could have said "Gawd you smell of S**t !!" which would have left me thinking I (me personally) stank and not the mess on the sole of my boots.

By all means, tell the guy. He Might (not saying he was but) have been Anosmic like me. perhaps he didn't notice. Perhaps like the gents above he couldn't use deoderant because of sting. There are many reasons , being rushed, not having time for a shower, then getting hot again while dancing. But there are better ways of putting it.

You didn't do anything bad or stupid, but you didn;t do it in the best manner possible.

someday I'll tell you all about my amusing "sitting next to the tramp on the bus with the soggy seat story" but not now.. I (and others) are probably about to eat :blush: :sick: :wink:

Cruella
17th-October-2006, 05:37 PM
blimey guys,, didn't realise we were all so aggressive when certain buttons pushed, been in a meeting and come back to world war 3......honestly,,, i do not hurt peoples feelings on purpose, i did feel bad after i had told this guy but i dont regret telling him as he will ensure it doesn't happen again hopefully.

thanks Martin for your support.. i also feel that honestly is the best policy,,...

and honestly, i feel that to attack a fellow forumite who is asking for advice on what should have been done instead of what i did... is completely ridiculous. nice forum,,, glad i joined... look forward to meeting you all.

I guess it's to do with the way you wrote what you did. It came across as insensitive to his feelings. You'll realise that heated debates happen on here regularly. IMO though, they usually stay on here. Just because you've had a difference of opinion with someone on the forum, it doesn't usually carry on into the real world. :flower:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 05:40 PM
I guess it's to do with the way you wrote what you did. It came across as insensitive to his feelings. You'll realise that heated debates happen on here regularly. IMO though, they usually stay on here. Just because you've had a difference of opinion with someone on the forum, it doesn't usually carry on into the real world. :flower:

i hope not, dont want to fall out with anybody..... :flower:

just dont appreciate attack....

but thanks

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 05:40 PM
and honestly, i feel that to attack a fellow forumite who is asking for advice on what should have been done instead of what i did... is completely ridiculous. nice forum,,, glad i joined... look forward to meeting you all.

What makes you think the man you had a personal attack on wasn't a forumite?
Anyway you're a stranger so surely we can say what we like to you?

Just a thought :innocent:

straycat
17th-October-2006, 05:46 PM
I agree in some situations. With Friends you can be honest and blunt but with strangers more tact and sensitivity is needed.

Um. WB I don't know about face to face, so I have to base this on your online 'personality', but - tact? sensitivity? You? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cheers: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Good one :wink:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 05:47 PM
What makes you think the man you had a personal attack on wasn't a forumite?
Anyway you're a stranger so surely we can say what we like to you?

Just a thought :innocent:

Witty, please chill out. we have met. We will meet again, im not a stranger to you, you know my face as i know yours.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 05:48 PM
:flower: sorry witty i forgot my peace flower :flower:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 06:00 PM
i hope not, dont want to fall out with anybody..... :flower:

just dont appreciate attack....

but thanks


Non of us like attacks, but if you say things people have an opinion on you migh find yourself in the firing line from time to time, as most of us that post regularly do :rolleyes: get over it





Anyway you're a stranger so surely we can say what we like to you?

Just a thought :innocent:

:yeah:


Um. WB I don't know about face to face, so I have to base this on your online 'personality', but - tact? sensitivity? You? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cheers: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Good one :wink:


well it just shows that 'on line' is different to real life :rolleyes:



Witty, please chill out. we have met. We will meet again, im not a stranger to you, you know my face as i know yours.




ooooer :eek:


reading between the lines :na:


.

Trousers
17th-October-2006, 06:35 PM
shall I weight while you change your shirt,:what:


Spot on Sweaty Bloke Handling Technique Fletch :flower:

I think that deserves Rep

It's better than what I tell the girls
i.e 'Just say EEUUrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh! and run away!!'

:devil: works tho :whistle:


We should pen a list of useful techniques for handling various dancers from the smelly thru the violent all the way to the sleaze bags so all the new ladies can be forearmed.

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 06:44 PM
Witty, please chill out. we have met. We will meet again, im not a stranger to you, you know my face as i know yours.

You wanna enlighten me?

Trousers
17th-October-2006, 06:48 PM
Innna da blue corner tonight. . . . . . .

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 06:50 PM
Innna da blue corner tonight. . . . . . .

Who rattled your cage, crawl back under your stone :whistle:
Before I get my scissors out :love:

Trousers
17th-October-2006, 06:52 PM
Who rattled your cage, crawl back under your stone :whistle:
Before I get my scissors out :love:


Tooo late :na:

Snipped!

Only blanks nows!

The two half bricks can go back in the box!

But I do need to borrow the wheel barrow for another week!

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 06:55 PM
Tooo late :na:

Snipped!

Well I was gonna finish it off by calling you a Jaffa but didn't know if it was common knowledge :rofl:

Trousers
17th-October-2006, 06:58 PM
Well I was gonna finish it off by calling you a Jaffa but didn't know if it was common knowledge :rofl:


I don't care
At least I didn't faint like the guy I heard about today! Wuss!

The burning smell was a little off putting though


:rofl:

seriously!



Do i need some fcuking stupid ORANGE trousers now?

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 07:10 PM
Do i need some fcuking stupid ORANGE trousers now?

Probably to go with the othe fcuking stupid trousers you've got. Can I do the tango jokes yet?

In fact you're small so you'd end up looking like an Oompa Lumpa :worthy:
Just get a spray tan to go with it.

Trousers
17th-October-2006, 07:22 PM
Probably to go with the othe fcuking stupid trousers you've got. Can I do the tango jokes yet?

In fact you're small so you'd end up looking like an Oompa Lumpa :worthy:
Just get a spray tan to go with it.

If I wasn't such a twat I may have got all upset by that comment.

Fortunately. . . :eek: D'oh. . . .:sick:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 07:23 PM
You wanna enlighten me?

You know my sister Sam who dates Mark (spin Dryer), we met Camba.

We will see each other again no doubt,, at Camba in November.

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 07:27 PM
You know my sister Sam who dates Mark (spin Dryer), we met Camba.

We will see each other again no doubt,, at Camba in November.

I know who you are :rofl:
You daft Beatch why didn't you say you were on here? You should've sent me a PM.


LMFAO Camber last year you pointed out something to me :rofl:

Fcuk sake If I'd known it was you I'd have realised you were taking the P1ss.

Didn't know Sam was dating the sarky solicitor tho :rofl:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 07:30 PM
I know who you are :rofl:
You daft Beatch why didn't you say you were on here? You should've sent me a PM.


LMFAO Camber last year you pointed out something to me :rofl:

Fcuk sake If I'd known it was you I'd have realised you were taking the P1ss.

Didn't know Sam was dating the sarky solicitor tho :rofl:

well i did try to tell you...... and as i said, im nice really.. xx

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 07:34 PM
well i did try to tell you...... and as i said, im nice really.. xx

When did you try to tell me that?
I don't know about nice :wink:

SnowWhite
17th-October-2006, 07:36 PM
:what: Is it safe now?

Have you two kissed and made up?:yum:

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 07:43 PM
:what: Is it safe now?

Have you two kissed and made up?:yum:

Nothing to kiss and make up with babe, All I did was give my opinion. What goes on the forum stays on the forum as Cruella said earlier. I don't take it personally and neither will that fcuking Trouble maker :wink:

Anyway in response to your comments yesterday are you in for a phone shortly?

Achaeco
17th-October-2006, 07:44 PM
blimey guys,, didn't realise we were all so aggressive when certain buttons pushed, been in a meeting and come back to world war 3......honestly,,, i do not hurt peoples feelings on purpose, i did feel bad after i had told this guy but i dont regret telling him as he will ensure it doesn't happen again hopefully.

thanks Martin for your support.. i also feel that honestly is the best policy,,...

and honestly, i feel that to attack a fellow forumite who is asking for advice on what should have been done instead of what i did... is completely ridiculous. nice forum,,, glad i joined... look forward to meeting you all.

I suggest if you come across anyone who smells of BO or has dirty finger nails, you ask someone else to deal with it, like........Lets say "the venue manager".

Did you know, if you have SURGURY on your nose or nasel passages, you can loose your scence of smell for up to 12 months.

It sounds very much like you were showing off in front of your mates.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 07:49 PM
IIt sounds very much like you were showing off in front of your mates.

does it... i actually did not do this in front of anybody. i told nobody. i felt bad for the fella.

blimey,, can somebody cut me some slack here.....

im off on holiday tommorow....1 week......im going to need it to get rid of the stress .....:flower: :flower:

SnowWhite
17th-October-2006, 08:05 PM
Anyway in response to your comments yesterday are you in for a phone shortly?

I just live for your call honey...:wink:

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 08:27 PM
If i want a body odour test, i'll find you and you can have a good old sniff of my pitt and let me know... thanks for the offer.
You realize there are some men who pay good money for that sort of thing?

Come on girlz, let's have some more bitching, it's got boring since GetaGrip left, only the Singleton's Sofa thing kept me awake since... :innocent:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 08:33 PM
You realize there are some men who pay good money for that sort of thing?

Come on girlz, let's have some more bitching, it's got boring since GetaGrip left, only the Singleton's Sofa thing kept me awake since... :innocent:

yes very helpful David,, i just got everyone to calm down, dont start them up again, my nerves cant take it......

Have a look at my new Thread,, see if you can answer some of them.... :flower: :flower:

ps who is getagrip....???

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 08:38 PM
ps who is getagrip....???

Like DavidJames would know :rofl:

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 08:50 PM
yes very helpful David,, i just got everyone to calm down, dont start them up again, my nerves cant take it......
Who, me? :innocent:

I'd never cause, err, trouble.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you were right to do what you did.

But maybe you could check the whiff factor next time - and if it's improved, ask him to dance, and say something nice to balance it out?

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 08:52 PM
Who, me? :innocent:

I'd never cause, err, trouble.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you were right to do what you did.

But maybe you could check the whiff factor next time - and if it's improved, ask him to dance, and say something nice to balance it out?

THANK YOU - :flower: :flower: i honestly do think people would rather know.

ShinyWeeStar
17th-October-2006, 09:00 PM
I've just read this thread and am amazed at the grilling trouble got! Yes, she wasn't as tactful to the man as she might have been, but having openly admitted this and that she felt bad about the way she handled the situation, she was simply looking for advice on how to do better next time... why on earth did everyone jump down her throat?! :confused: Glad some people finally got round to answering the original question...

And they wonder why some people prefer to lurk... :what:

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 09:03 PM
ps who is getagrip....???
Have a look at the thread "Are West Coast Swing Advocates the most annoying people in dance? (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9475)" and the sequel: "The Good the bad and the irritating - dance teachers exposed... (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9520)" for details - and see what dizzying heights of mischief-making you have to aim for.

I have faith in you though, I think you have the right combination of talents to go far :rofl:

(PS. Fletch may also have ruffled a feather or two when she started :wink: )

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 09:05 PM
I've just read this thread and am amazed at the grilling trouble got! Yes, she wasn't as tactful to the man as she might have been, but having openly admitted this and that she felt bad about the way she handled the situation, she was simply looking for advice on how to do better next time... why on earth did everyone jump down her throat?! :confused: Glad some people finally got round to answering the original question...

And they wonder why some people prefer to lurk... :what:

oh thank god some support..:hug: :hug: . could have done with you earlier... dont worry tho, ive had loads of support through PM and reps,,, think people were a little scared to climb on board.

I dont take it to heart,,, :flower: i think people should try and read threads properly before they shoot from the hip ..... if you read back over the replies, its quite amazing. Still they were a minority and as one person pointed out.... whats said in the forum stays in the forum.. :flower: thanks again for taking the time to read it... x

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 09:06 PM
... why on earth did everyone jump down her throat?! :confused:
Herd mentality.

It happens occasionally on the forum - usually when someone expresses an opinion.

Baaaa :whistle:

Beowulf
17th-October-2006, 09:07 PM
Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you were right to do what you did.

But maybe you could check the whiff factor next time - and if it's improved, ask him to dance, and say something nice to balance it out?


:yeah: basically as I said above. I'd rather be told, and I don't think people were fair picking on Trouble like they did. She did the right thing in telling him.. just the way that it was done could have been better. But hey.. i'm no angel .. I've raised a few hackles in my day..

"Let he who is without neg rep cast the first stone" ;)

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 09:09 PM
:yeah: basically as I said above. I'd rather be told, and I don't think people were fair picking on Trouble like they did. She did the right thing in telling him.. just the way that it was done could have been better. But hey.. i'm no angel .. I've raised a few hackles in my day..

"Let he who is without neg rep cast the first stone" ;)

So sweet...xx thanks

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 09:13 PM
Have a look at the thread "Are West Coast Swing Advocates the most annoying people in dance? (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9475)" and the sequel: "The Good the bad and the irritating - dance teachers exposed... (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9520)" for details - and see what dizzying heights of mischief-making you have to aim for.

I have faith in you though, I think you have the right combination of talents to go far :rofl:

(PS. Fletch may also have ruffled a feather or two when she started :wink: )

you have faith in me.........mmm....do you think i could be trouble then.??

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 09:21 PM
you have faith in me.........mmm....do you think i could be trouble then.??

Oh yes you are................. :rofl:

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 09:28 PM
Oh yes you are................. :rofl:

:hug: im not im a good girl i am ,,,,,,,, :yum: :D

ShinyWeeStar
17th-October-2006, 09:30 PM
Herd mentality.

It happens occasionally on the forum - usually when someone expresses an opinion.

Baaaa :whistle:
Surely that'd be flock mentality... ;)

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 09:44 PM
Surely that'd be flock mentality... ;)

:rofl: :rofl: very good

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 09:50 PM
Surely that'd be flock mentality... ;)
Allright, "moo" then, blimey, bunch of pendants... :rolleyes:

WittyBird
17th-October-2006, 09:55 PM
Allright, "moo" then, blimey, bunch of pendants... :rolleyes:

you can crawl back under your stone as well :na:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 10:21 PM
Spot on Sweaty Bloke Handling Technique Fletch :flower:






We should pen a list of useful techniques for handling various dancers from the smelly thru the violent all the way to the sleaze bags so all the new ladies can be forearmed.


Now you know why I allways get these jobs,:rolleyes: I could do the list :rolleyes: I think I handled most situations :na:



well i did try to tell you...... and as i said, im nice really.. xx

nice isn't fun :rolleyes:



Did you know, if you have SURGURY on your nose or nasel passages, you can loose your scence of smell for up to 12 months.



Glad I didn't have my nose done then :wink:






(PS. Fletch may also have ruffled a feather or two when she started :wink: )


yeah but that was before I was real :whistle:

anyway I though you were supposed to forget after 6 months,:eek: allegedly:na:




I have come home from work and all the fun has stopped,:what: so this very kind caring sole, who wouldn't offend any one for the world is off to bed :grin:



.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 10:29 PM
I have come home from work and all the fun has stopped,:what: so this very kind caring sole, who wouldn't offend any one for the world is off to bed :grin:



.

nighty night Fletch... i'll be back in a week. xx :flower:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 10:34 PM
nighty night Fletch... i'll be back in a week. xx :flower:

are you taking over from getagrip :wink:

Gav
17th-October-2006, 10:37 PM
I suggest if you come across anyone who smells of BO or has dirty finger nails, you ask someone else to deal with it, like........Lets say "the venue manager".

Did you know, if you have SURGURY on your nose or nasel passages, you can loose your scence of smell for up to 12 months.

It sounds very much like you were showing off in front of your mates.

:really: That's the worst suggestion yet!

If someone tells you you're a bit smelly that's bad enough, but OK 'cos they're doing you a favour. If the venue manager tells you that people have complained that you're smelly, that's horrendous!

Please, if I stink have the cahonas to tell me quietly to my face!

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 10:38 PM
are you taking over from getagrip :wink:

getagrip who???

im just me,, simple and sweet in every way,,,, as are you and Cruella ...xxx :love:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 10:41 PM
getagrip who???

im just me,, simple and sweet in every way,,,, as are you and Cruella ...xxx :love:


I'm the Mary Poppins of the forum :wink:

Practicaly perfect in every way :na: other than spelling :blush:


.

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 10:42 PM
:really: That's the worst suggestion yet!

If someone tells you you're a bit smelly that's bad enough, but OK 'cos they're doing you a favour. If the venue manager tells you that people have complained that you're smelly, that's horrendous!

Please, if I stink have the cahonas to tell me quietly to my face!


absolutely here here.......and my sis,, who is double trouble but is having trouble getting on the site says double here here....and she'll be on soon so watch this space...!!! (just kidding) :D

Nice one Gav,,,, i would tell you to your face quiety and politely....but im sure you would never put a woman through that....xxxx

Trouble
17th-October-2006, 10:43 PM
I'm the Mary Poppins of the forum :wink:

Practicaly perfect in every way :na: other than spelling :blush:


.

Fletch... what made you pick that name????? - weird for a gal....

Gav
17th-October-2006, 10:46 PM
absolutely here here.......and my sis,, who is double trouble but is having trouble getting on the site says double here here....and she'll be on soon so watch this space...!!! (just kidding) :D

Nice one Gav,,,, i would tell you to your face quiety and politely....but im sure you would never put a woman through that....xxxx

Treble trouble when you get together eh? :flower:

fletch
17th-October-2006, 10:53 PM
Fletch... what made you pick that name????? - weird for a gal....

quit while you are ahead :really:


I didn't pick it :confused: its my real name :rolleyes:



Fletcher as in Norman Stanley......but he only got 5 years :wink:



.




.

David Bailey
17th-October-2006, 11:18 PM
Fletch... what made you pick that name????? - weird for a gal....
:rofl:

See everyone? I told you she had potential - can I pick em or what? :innocent:

MartinHarper
17th-October-2006, 11:19 PM
I suggest if you come across anyone who smells of BO or has dirty finger nails, you ask someone else to deal with it, like........Lets say "the venue manager".

Nah, I'd prefer someone told me themselves, rather than tell the venue manager and have the venue manager tell me. Official censure is always a bit more embarassing. Maybe tell the venue manager if you tell someone they stink and they tell you to get lost, and you need some reinforcement from an authority figure.

As for dirty fingernails... if you're licking my fingers during a dance, you may be dancing a whee bit too bluesy for my taste.

Gav
17th-October-2006, 11:44 PM
Nah, I'd prefer someone told me themselves, rather than tell the venue manager and have the venue manager tell me. Official censure is always a bit more embarassing. Maybe tell the venue manager if you tell someone they stink and they tell you to get lost, and you need some reinforcement from an authority figure.

As for dirty fingernails... if you're licking my fingers during a dance, you may be dancing a whee bit too bluesy for my taste.

*makes mental note not to lick Martins' fingernails*

bigdjiver
18th-October-2006, 02:11 AM
Another way to handle similar situations is to talk to the teacher and request that the standard "shower, deoderant, change of clothing " etc announcement is made. Only if the situation recurs week on week would I suggest individual action might be taken. If the guy has a mate there, that might be another approach.

fletch
18th-October-2006, 08:38 AM
Another way to handle similar situations is to talk to the teacher and request that the standard "shower, deoderant, change of clothing " etc announcement is made. Only if the situation recurs week on week would I suggest individual action might be taken. If the guy has a mate there, that might be another approach.

That seem a bit like sending a note home with children that head lice are back at the school,:eek: you hope the people who have 'em treat them :rolleyes: they neaver do :sad: it needs doing one two one,:( but with care and consideration :flower: not 'you stink' :mad:




.

Double Trouble
18th-October-2006, 08:43 AM
I had an experience last night that i felt i should share in the hope that somebody might be able to guide me to a more beneficial ending.

i danced with a guy who suffered from the most awful body odour that i actually had to stop the dance. I could actually feel it penetrating the arm of my clothing while i was dancing. Under normal circumstances i would finish the dance and avoid dancing with him again but i found it so insulting that he could actually turn up smelling the way he did that i told him.

I said to him " you do realise you absolutely stink of BO !! " he said " do I" all innocently and surprised but awkward at the same time. " i finished off by saying " yes you do".

he dissapeared from the hall about 2 mins later and everybody was talking about him,,, you know the normal thing, he stank, dont dance with him, watch out for the bloke that has "Hummmm" coming out of his shirt...

Is there a nicer way of doing this or is it better cruel to be kind.

Im a nice person really. :flower:

At last....managed to get on here (probably best I couldn't post a message last night) Just so you know I am in total agreement with trouble (my sister) & as she is now on holiday...I will be taking over the wooden spoon for a while. Personally, I feel there should be some kind of guard dog on the entrance to ceroc venues to give everyone the sniff test. All those who fail are supper for the dogs. Sounds fair to me.

Gav
18th-October-2006, 08:50 AM
At last....managed to get on here (probably best I couldn't post a message last night) Just so you know I am in total agreement with trouble (my sister) & as she is now on holiday...I will be taking over the wooden spoon for a while. Personally, I feel there should be some kind of guard dog on the entrance to ceroc venues to give everyone the sniff test. All those who fail are supper for the dogs. Sounds fair to me.

Sounds like a reasonable idea (checks pits quickly) :D

Welcome on board, I remember dancing with you two at Bliss, but I had no idea you were sisters. Thanks for the dances, you were both lovely to dance with, I just hope I didn't smell too much! :na:

x. :flower:

Double Trouble
18th-October-2006, 09:01 AM
Sounds like a reasonable idea (checks pits quickly) :D

Welcome on board, I remember dancing with you two at Bliss, but I had no idea you were sisters. Thanks for the dances, you were both lovely to dance with, I just hope I didn't smell too much! :na:

x. :flower:

Thanks for remembering us. Don't worry, if you did smell I, like my sister, would have told you. You must have rose tinted armpits.

fletch
18th-October-2006, 10:16 AM
Just so you know I am in total agreement with trouble (my sister) ..I will be taking over the wooden spoon for a while. Personally, I feel there should be some kind of guard dog on the entrance to ceroc venues to give everyone the sniff test. All those who fail are supper for the dogs. Sounds fair to me.



I was wondering :confused: total agreement ? as to what ? the way she spoke to that man? :confused: if so why did she need our advice, perhaps she should have just asked you :rolleyes:

This wooden spoon you have is it to help you establish some kind of pecking order :mad:


I would find it interesting to see who the dogs on the door are going to be, I could make a couple of suggestions :devil:



.

Double Trouble
18th-October-2006, 10:19 AM
I was wondering :confused: total agreement ? as to what ? the way she spoke to that man? :confused: if so why did she need our advice, perhaps she should have just asked you :rolleyes:

This wooden spoon you have is it to help you establish some kind of pecking order :mad:


I would find it interesting to see who the dogs on the door are going to be, I could make a couple of suggestions :devil:


.

Ok Norman....Keep your underpants on

Alice
18th-October-2006, 10:21 AM
Another way to handle similar situations is to talk to the teacher and request that the standard "shower, deoderant, change of clothing " etc announcement is made. Only if the situation recurs week on week would I suggest individual action might be taken. If the guy has a mate there, that might be another approach.
:yeah:
While I agree something should be said, tact should be used- the person may not be aware and will probably be horribly embarrassed, even if technically you're doing the right thing by alerting them. A standard announcement is a good idea, or taking the person aside for a private word. You could also mention it to the teacher and get them to have a chat with the person.

I was very impressed to see several cans of deodorant in the bathrooms in Woking on the weekend, and I've also seen this at a salsa class I went to. (cos sometimes people just forgot to bring any, which doesn't really help the situation!! )

fletch
18th-October-2006, 10:26 AM
Ok Norman....Keep your underpants on

I see, you can't answer the question regarding what you do agree with,:rolleyes: but you are able to make childish comments like this :mad:



pathetic





.

David Bailey
18th-October-2006, 10:29 AM
Excellent.

Sweet or salted?

:innocent:

MartinHarper
18th-October-2006, 10:30 AM
A standard announcement is a good idea

... that will have no useful effect, because people can't smell their own stink, so they won't know if it's them. At best you'll get a bunch of people who smell fine paranoid about it. That's not a recipe for class happiness.

Double Trouble
18th-October-2006, 10:33 AM
I see, you can't answer the question regarding what you do agree with,:rolleyes: but you are able to make childish comments like this :mad:



pathetic





.

We are not all perfect like you babe.

fletch
18th-October-2006, 10:43 AM
We are not all perfect like you babe.

This is true :na:


But we can all learn tolerance, compassion, like I say we are NOT all perfect just different, i'm not better than anyone but no one
is better than me.



:flower:

David Bailey
18th-October-2006, 11:09 AM
*chomp, chomp*

fletch
18th-October-2006, 11:12 AM
*chomp, chomp*



what you eating :confused:



. secret sign:wink:

David Bailey
18th-October-2006, 11:14 AM
what you eating :confused:
Mixing sweet and salted at the moment.


. secret sign:wink:
What, you love me? :what: :eek: :na:

fletch
18th-October-2006, 11:18 AM
Mixing sweet and salted at the moment.


What, you love me? :what: :eek: :na:



so sweet...do we know her name :confused: salted :eek: no don't go there :whistle:



. :wink: